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Fade hated it when Neon cried.
It was the most awful kind of crying for Fade, the kind of crying that Fade would fight the universe to silence, because it was the kind of cry that crushed Fade with misery. In the moment, it was as if Neon’s pain was bleeding into Fade’s mind, keeping her tethered to Neon in hopes of healing her losses, staying with her until Neon’s tears would eventually stop, until the Filipina would rub her eyes sheepishly and apologize for acting so childishly.
And every time, Fade would hold her and tell her it’s fine, gently stroking her hair as her hiccups subsided to soft, shaky breaths. It didn’t matter to Fade how upset she got by Neon’s crying; all that mattered to her was finding an end to Neon’s tears.
But what was Fade supposed to do when Omega Neon was crying on the battlefield?
Sheriff’s crosshair pointed at the enemy’s hanging head, Fade stood above Neon, who had crumbled to the ground as she bled out, sobbing in dismal desperation, as the rest of her teammates lay dead across the sites. She looked pathetic , breaking in front of an Alpha enemy, but instead of simply seeing an invader, Fade saw a glimpse of a girl she loved behind that fierce hatred in her voice. It pained Fade to witness a reflection of her lover mourning the loss of countless lives back in the world she came from, even if they had no meaning to Fade. It was as if the severe reality of the Omega world shattered and crashed down on Neon, the true helplessness of it all evident in her strained voice as the sky opened up in a sad drizzle, giving the Radianite sites a slippery sheen of rainwater that seemed pitiful in comparison to the destructive floods back across her portal.
“Just kill me already! You’re killing so many people just by keeping your shitty Radianite; what’s another death to you!? ”
Fade shouldn’t care– and yet, Neon’s sobbing still reached her, shaking her to the core and triggering the instinctive pity Alpha Neon had unlocked. This Neon sounded far too similar, if not practically the same, and it hit a nerve for Fade, even despite the knowledge that she was facing an Omega Agent. She didn’t know how to react, torn between the habitual desire to reassure the poor female and the mandated order to protect her own Earth.
Fade warily kept her gun pointed at the Omega Neon, and using her foot to push the Spike behind herself, Fade stiffly hissed at the young female, hoping to ease her own discomfort with the halt of those horrid cries.
“Stop crying.”
It nearly killed Fade when Neon flinched at the cock of her Sheriff. It hurt, even if this wasn’t the Neon she loved, but she forced her face to remain cold, void of any emotion as the Duelist brokenly growled out a rebuttal, the rain washing away the blood dripping out the corner of her mouth.
“ Don’t tell me not to cry . Why should it matter to you if I cry or not… You’ll just kill me anyways, won’t you ? Let’s see you trying not to cry when you lose your whole world, Fade .”
Narrowing her eyes, Fade exhaled slowly, pointer finger tense against the trigger, ready to shoot– but, seconds passed, and she didn’t. She couldn’t; her instinctive pity fiercely held her back, as if to say: Don’t. Don’t kill her. You can’t kill her– it’s Neon. You can’t kill your lover.
With a frustrated purse of her lips, Fade tilted her head, scrutinizing the pitiful defeat of an Agent at her feet, soaked and hunched over with what seemed to be premature grief. She had never, never imagined seeing Neon so defeated to the point she couldn’t even bother to look up at her soon-to-be murderer; Neon always carried herself with such pride, both in herself and for the cause she fought for, so for Omega Neon to look so pathetically despondent was nothing short of a struggle for Fade. Precariously balancing between the urge to comfort or to end Neon, Fade coldly gave a strange, ambiguous mock of an encouragement, unable to dedicate herself fully in or out of help’s favor.
“And? Are you so pathetic that you’re going to get shit done if you cry yourself a sad little river? Is that going to help you and your world? I would’ve thought you’d just get back up on your feet like an annoying pest until you keel over dead. Or at least, that’s what the Neon I know would’ve done.”
Neon immediately took the Initiator’s words as a threat, and her eyes flashed with hostility as she looked up at Fade, squinting as rain cleared away the tears clinging to her cheeks.
“Is mocking us all that you shitty Alpha Agents can do… Mocking us, because you have it so good… I ought to kill you at this point, you sick bastard. You– and your stupid world. We’re dying because of you! We’re running out of time… We’re doomed… We’re all going to die because of you selfish assholes!!”
The insult prompted a mildly offended click of Fade’s tongue, followed by an incredulous scoff, and as she squatted down to be eye-level with the enraged Agent, she couldn’t help but smile bitterly as the rain continued to pour down over the two.
Something about Neon’s pain… seemed so awful. So saddened. So genuine . And so familiar .
“Shit, you must want to die pretty bad, to be wailing like a little baby in front of me; I hardly knew Neon to be such a spoiled crybaby. It’s amusing. I’d encourage you to keep moping, but I’d rather go deaf than hear your annoying crying– so go on. I’d love to hear about how you’d kill me, while you’re still having your sad pity party down here.”
A hoarse gasp left the Omega Agent as she wiped her eyes to clear away the rainwater blurring her vision.
“The Neon you have has the fortune of having a good life and her family. You have the fortune of not worrying about drowning people everyday, and saving the whole damn world. You–! ” Anger momentarily faltering, the Filipina choked on her own bloodied words with a hacking cough, as if the desperation of the mission was closing around her throat. Bloody saliva dripped to the ground, suggesting some sort of internal wound that Fade couldn’t see, and the Initiator took a precautionary step back as Neon’s hand suddenly slammed down against the wet ground in frustration. “ I- I should kill you–! ” However, only a broken line of Radiance crackled around Neon as her fingers clenched at the muddy floor, and after Neon’s frustrated sob, it became painfully obvious that the Agent wasn’t posing much of a threat, if she couldn’t even use her normally-uncontrollable Radiance.
Alright. So she was practically harmless and unable to do much else other than cause a commotion– which Fade would consider a plus. But that still left the hanging question… what the hell was Fade supposed to do?
She knew the “ right ” answer: Shoot Neon. It shouldn’t be hard at all. She’s done it so many times– like Neon said, what’s another shot? Yet, as she watched Neon, Fade couldn’t shake the awful resemblance of this wounded stranger and her beloved girlfriend, her eyes filled with so much pain and grief and despair – it hurt Fade. It was as if Neon’s pain was bleeding into Fade’s mind.
It made her wonder… what has this Neon seen? What was she truly fighting for, so desperately to be willing to crack and crumble humiliatingly in front of her enemy? Fade knew the answer– but did she really know the full extent of Omega’s bleak condition? Could it be so bad that every second was truly a threat to her world?
It had to be bad enough. Enough for Neon to be sobbing as her world fell apart, at the expense of a single bomb– a single facility, no more.
What if… this was the last hope her home so desperately grappled for?
It was stupid. Fade knew it was stupid, to be swayed by her bias, to let her weak spot take advantage of her… But as Neon began to sob again, Fade sighed in resignation.
Perhaps, today would be an exception for stupidity.
Standing up decisively, Fade aimed at the far wall behind Neon and pulled on the Sheriff’s trigger, and after a flinch-earning bang , she dropped the gun in front of Neon as a test– to see just how desperate the Omega Agent was. After all, Fade hardly wanted to be siding for a pathetic pushover. As the Turkish Agent turned to pick up the Spike, she was pleased to hear the desperate click of an empty fire, and with the Spike in hand, Fade turned around with an amused smile directed down to Neon.
“Don’t bother, yeah? That thing is empty; plus, I don’t think you’d want to kill the person getting you your Radianite, mm?”
Fade was so stupid– Neon’s wide-eyed stare of disbelief told her just as much.
The Turkish Agent knew what she was doing; she knew that she was technically committing a betrayal to the Valorant Protocol, with what she was about to pull. She was breaking the most basic of responsibilities, and putting so many lives in danger.
And for what ? To have that ungrateful Omega Agent look up at her with such hateful, distrusting eyes, the very same eyes that her girlfriend would so lovingly stare at her with?
“... What?” Neon sneered at the strange affection in Fade’s eyes, trembling with a gasp as her weak body began to fail from blood loss. However, the dizziness spinning her vision didn’t seem to deduct any of the woman’s fierce character. “Are you mocking me right now? That’s disgusting . And low , even for you. Are you seriously expecting me to believe you ?”
“Hm.” Humming softly, Fade looked at the Spike for a long moment, before sighing with closed eyes. When she opened her eyes again to look at Neon, the Omega Agent could notice the strangest quirk of a smile, just a hint of a smile that shouldn’t be for her. But for somebody else, who would be the unknowing savior to the Radianite raid. “I wish I were kidding. But, I’m not. I hate seeing Neon cry– so even if I despise you, I can’t help but pity you. Consider yourself lucky, Neon.”
Immediately flaring with defensive anger, her mind was unable to handle the dizzying rush of spite, and a faint groan left her lips as she wetly coughed out another splatter of blood. A wet roll of bandages from Fade dropped in front of Neon, and looking down at the ground for the first time in a while, she realized the water around her had turned into a bloody puddle, dyed red from the wounds shot across her body. An instinctive snarl left the Filipina at the piteous act.
“You’re– the worst .”
Fade seemed to consider her words for a moment, but ultimately chose to ignore the insult.
“... Wrap yourself up, Neon. You’ll be fine, if you stop bleeding your guts out. And stop crying– you won’t be saving anybody by being a crybaby.”
With a long final stare, Fade stalked off to the bright blue portal leading to the second Radianite site just a minute’s run away. She seemed to hesitate, as if doubting herself for a moment, but Neon wouldn’t receive so much as another glance from the pitying betrayal of an Alpha Agent.