Archive of Our Own ^beta

Fade never considered herself a photogenic person. That wasn’t to say she was camera-shy; she just wasn’t particularly camera-fond either. If the camera light flashed, she would only blink in surprise before sighing and moving on with her day. 

But there was one, one instance where she would care about photos, and that was when the one holding the camera was her beloved girlfriend. Only then would Fade maybe make a face and laugh, or try to block her face out of sight from Neon’s camera. After all, no matter what she did, those photos would become a permanent memory for Neon, strung across her wall littered with snapshots of her happiest times. When Fade had first spotted herself on the wall, she had complained to the female, trying to convince Neon that there were definitely much better pictures to have up there, that Fade definitely wasn’t the most photogenic candidate to be displayed– nor the most confident. But without the heart to physically take down the pictures herself, Fade’s embarrassment was overrun by Neon’s stubborn love, and eventually, Fade begrudgingly accepted that Neon cared too much about her to let their memories stay boxed away.

So even if Fade wasn’t the greatest model to ever grace the earth, Fade could bear just a few pictures of herself, if it made Neon happy. Even if a “few” pictures was enough pictures to fill the cardboard shoebox Fade was carrying back towards Neon’s room. 

“Ugh, I wish we had more clothespins… too many pictures I want to hang.”

As Fade leaned against the doorframe to Neon’s room to quietly watch her girlfriend for a few moments, she couldn’t resist a fond smile when she caught the low mutter. While Fade had gone off to find their box of unused pictures, the Filipina had been busy trying to figure out which memories would be alright to store away– though, if Fade was being honest, Neon probably wouldn’t be able to take any of the pictures off her wall without indecisively fussing over each and every picture for who knows how long. 

Frankly, it had puzzled Fade when Neon initially emphasized the importance of photographing the past. “How could some random pictures on a wall be that important?” Fade had asked her once, only to be further puzzled– and amused– when Neon’s picture time became a two-hour lecture about appreciation and being grateful and thinking of the good times– or something like that. Neon’s grand speech had been far too long and excitable to truly process where her rambling converged into a lesson, and considering that Fade hardly cared much for “remembering the good times”, most of Neon’s admirable passion for life hardly stuck with Fade. Nonetheless, Fade would never understand to the full extent of Neon’s ramblings, but she’d never turn down the opportunity to see the strange little spark that she called her lover smiling with such joy. 

Even if that meant listening to Neon drone on and on about things that hardly mattered to Fade.

Lightly knocking against the wall to catch Neon’s attention, Fade giggled as the younger girl turned around with a frustrated sigh, her lip jutting out in a pout.

“We can always just go out and get more tomorrow, mm? Though, if I’m being honest, if you try to use any more string, your wall is going to start looking like a huge spider web.”

“Well… maybe I’m fine with having that many photos. What about it?”

Fade laughed at the stubborn tone in Neon’s voice before slowly sauntering over, eyes distracted by the bright display of fairy lights glowing next to photos harboring a peek into Neon’s memories. “You’ve just got so many memories– it makes me happy to see you fussing over something like this.”

Seemingly surprised by Fade’s affectionate words, Neon made an odd face before sheepishly looking at her wall. “Oh. Uh– yeah… I guess so.”

After a few beats of silent observation, Neon’s attention began to stray towards the shoebox in Fade’s hands, as if to silently say “And we’ve still got a lot more photos to fuss over”. Catching the female’s not-so-subtle glance, Fade again couldn’t keep her lips from instinctively quirking into a soft smile, and slowly sitting herself on the floor, she opened the box to reveal a heap of used Polaroids and printed photos. Neon quickly sat down as well, observing the imprints of silly, fond memories she and Fade had taken in their time together, and while the Filipina busily sifted through the photos, Fade picked up a random Polaroid illustrating the morning Jett had barged into their room to find Neon hugging Fade tightly in her sleep. It was funny, especially with the fact that Neon had been drooling on Fade, but given that this was her first time actually going back through their mountain of memories, Fade couldn’t help but wonder if it was really necessary to remember such mundane times in the past– especially since they hardly held that much importance… right?

“We have so many, don’t you think? Maybe we should get rid of so–”

An offended gasp interrupted Fade, and Neon picked up one of the printed photos, where Neon was sitting in one of the infirmary’s beds, wrapped in bandages and petulantly refusing to look at the camera as a blurred, laughing Fade had tried to catch a selfie of them.

“Hey, I told you not to keep this one! I look like a little kid who got hurt, ano ba!*”

Neon’s voice sparked with the same, childish charm displayed in the photo, and immediately, Fade broke into laughter, reaching forward to take the photo from Neon.

“But it’s just too good! I mean, look at you– Hey!” As Neon pulled back with her tongue mockingly stuck out, Fade would have to playfully grapple with Neon before managing to pluck the picture out her hands. Giving her a triumphant huff, she started again with her defense to keep the photo. “You have no idea how much this picture cracks me up. I thought you would’ve been dead, especially after that gunshot in Tokyo? I nearly had a damn heart attack when you came back all bloody and half-awake, you know? I figured you would’ve been knocked out, so forgive me for being both relieved and amused when I saw you pouting all cutely.”

“I– It was not cute , everyone was super annoying that day, okay? Seriously, I was completely fine. I can take a shot or two!” Neon’s wounded pride caused her to flush slightly as Fade continued to lovingly stare at the picture as if she were stupidly in love with the bandaged idiot in the infirmary bed– which she definitely was. Ignoring Fade’s second round of teasing, the Filipina took the box and flipped it over, dumping all of the printed memories onto the floor in front of them. It took a moment for her to flip through the pictures, but eventually, an evil smirk grew across her face. Snatching up the Polaroid she had been looking for, Neon giggled before flipping it around, cackling at the mortified frown curving Fade’s black lipstick.

“ Hey – I didn’t think we still had that one!”

“And I didn’t think we had that infirmary pic! Guess we don’t all get what we want, huh?” 

Fade’s groan of defeat left Neon feeling victorious, and she grinned mischievously while shaking the picture of Neon and Jett, posed for a selfie over a graffiti-ed Fade, who had passed out from a lack of caffeine in her system. Upon learning of Neon’s frustration with Fade’s coffee addiction, Jett was more than reasonably thrilled at the prospect of punishing Fade for her unhealthy dependence on the stimulant, and after catching the Turkish female dozing off in Neon’s room, the two had taken the liberty to “decorate that caffeine addict’s face”– or at least, that’s how Jett had described it while giggling about the ordeal to Yoru and Killjoy a few hours later. Suffice to say, Fade was not at all pleased when she woke up, and just as humiliated when she forced Neon to show her the selfie. 

It was ironic, really, that Neon had the greatest blackmail on the blackmailer of the Valorant Protocol. Revenge, Neon decided, was sweeter than any apology. 

“Jeez, I told you that having that much coffee was going to be so bad if the protocol ever happened to run out of coffee. I even told you, “I’m going to take a picture of you one day when you have those bad withdrawals.” And then look what happened! You were so tired you could hardly even stay up for a meeting! Seriously, mahal,* I love you, but– this was seriously just so bad!”

As Neon curled in on herself due to her stomach cramping with laughter, she suddenly squeaked in surprise as Fade playfully wrestled her to the ground. A fake expression of disgruntled annoyance graced the Turkish female’s face, and she emptily threatened her cackling girlfriend, who had let Fade tussle her to the ground with little struggle. 

“I can’t believe my own lover would do this to me and my pride; one of these days, you’ll regret being such a terrible girlfriend, Neon– I’ll make sure of it!”

“Nooooooo, Faddddeeeee! You know it’s just a joke!!”

“Maybe I’ll steal Squish-Squish and hide him somewhere you’ll never find him– what then, tatlım ?*”

“You wouldn’t!”

“I might!”

“You’re the worst!!”

A few more minutes of play-fighting ensued until Fade eventually relented, leaning down to peck Neon’s lips before helping Neon sit back up. 

“I’m gonna hang this one up, just as a reminder to you!! Thankfully , you’re a lot better about the coffee now. Imagine, if you were still that addicted to coffee-”

“I will knock you down again if you finish that sentence, Neon.” 

With a giggle, Neon hung the Polaroid with one of her few, free clothespins before returning back to Fade, who was sorting through the mess of pictures. Their playful banter calmly subsided as Fade began to point out a few of their fonder memories– like the time Jett had become their temporary paparazzi as Fade and Neon danced in the rain, blissfully uncaring for their punishment of a cold in the following morning, or the time when Neon had taken Fade out to the beach as the blazing sun slowly disappeared behind the horizon, releasing a gorgeous array of hues across the sky as the two stood shin-deep in the cool ocean. Their voices melted with wistfulness, bringing forth forgotten moments out of the slumbering past to a longing present time. Emotion filled the room as piles of different-sized photos were precariously balanced in disorganized fashion, having fulfilled Neon’s purpose for recalling, remembering all those times she never wanted to forget. 

As Fade stole a look at her girlfriend, all she could see was Neon’s unbridled happiness, spilling out like a flood without any end in sight. Her smile was so scarily contagious, her joy so infectious that Fade felt she might catch a fever from the happy flush heating her cheeks as the two continued to reminisce, reliving moments when Neon had brought this same type of unfamiliar exhilarating euphoria to Fade. Watching the younger female hop up after the two had sorted through all the photos, Fade sat back with a content sigh as Neon began to fuss over which were the “Must Remember’s!” and the “Store Away But Remember Later’s!”

Fade could only chuckle fondly, too overwhelmed by the emotional moment to advise Neon’s dilemma.

‘ Ah. Maybe this is why she likes photos so much, if she feels as happy as I do right now. ’