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It’s a sin to waste food. That’s what mother always said.
Even before the pretty flower curtains all tangled with the home spun lace disappeared beneath a thick black bolt of fabric. Even before the sound of men, big men like father, not like little Yuri, faded away into the trees where not even the memories of their voices lingered. Before the fire that kept them warm at night was smothered and the three of them bundled close and shivering through the night. Before Yor’s school books were packed away beneath floorboards.
Before. When Yor could still take Yuri just inside the treeline to catch frogs without mother snatching both of their wrists with cold clammy hands. Before. When mother’s voice didn't shake so badly that Yor had no choice but to believe her when she said monsters had moved into the forest.
Before the terrible whistling that came right before the flash, before the night Yor followed streaks of lights that looked like shooting stars, before they came closer and closer and brought a deafening CRASH that shook the earth. Before she wondered why no one ever thought to explain that something so beautiful could also destroy the church spire and the three buildings next to it.
Even before… well. Even before.
But because it was such a sin, mother would also teach Yor to brave the woods at her side - while Yuri slept, of course. Yuri was too small to battle monsters, they would gobble him right up! - always watchful as she gently explained what leaves and grasses were safe to eat. Some were bitter, some were spicy, and some would make them sick all night if they weren’t boiled right. There were mushrooms, too, but mother didn’t know their secrets. She had never learned which kinds were for eating and which might drag you straight to hell. But the grasses were the best, especially the tall ones that grew in shady places. Yor was good at finding those, and if she pulled just right at the stalks, the white glistening skins of baby onions would be her reward. Those were always her favorite; covered in earth and the freshest thing they’d eaten in days.
She saved the biggest ones for Yuri. Mother always wanted to see him grow big and strong.
The first time Garden had dispatched her to a home, it had been that of an elderly couple. Easy enough for a first mission. They had cooed about how small and cute she was, how perfect her tiny hands would be in cleaning the little nooks and crannies of the house. They patted her head and told her to take an apple from the tree in the garden, plus one more for her ototo . All around the base of the tree laid rotting corpses of fruit offering their sweetness to the ants.
Yor had waited until supper to send them to heaven.
And because her mother had taught her that it is a sin to waste food, she had carefully wrapped their leftover plates of food in a parchment and stuffed the apples in the pockets of her dress. And because her mother had taught her manners, she had bowed over their bodies and thanked them for their kindness.
And because she had been a very good girl and paid very close attention, she took that single meal and chopped it all up just like mother would, dropping the ingredients in a big pot of boiling water. It didn’t smell like what mother made so she added some grass and leaves, too, and that made it a little better. It didn’t even matter that she cut herself a little with the kitchen knife. It disappeared in the pot anyway.
And those nights Yuri smiled up at her like before. And he ate well.