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The sight made his heart drop into the pit of his stomach. His skin went cold and he was honestly convinced he might throw up.
He should have known better than to trust him.
He knew better than to trust him.
Sae should have just kept their relationship to football and nothing more, because this… this wasn’t fucking worth it.
Ryusei there…in their bed, leaning over some other guy. Touching him and kissing him in the way that Sae liked to be touched.
Those hands…the ones that were dirtying themselves by touching another man…they were his. Sae’s. No one else’s. Those lips that were curled into a devilish smirk, the one that normally made Sae feel so weak in the knees…they were also his.
Ryusei was his .
Or at least…he should have been.
Sae grabbed the front of his shirt, right over his heart, and tried to ground himself as he tugged at the fabric. Trying so hard to hold back what was threatening to spill over.
The sob…it burst out of his chest and the whole room went silent as tears hit his cheeks…hot and shameful and embarrassing. He may have screamed, but he would deny that later.
Finally, after the waterworks had already started, Ryusei finally turned around. He caught Sae’s eyes, staring at him over his shoulder, blonde hair disheveled and messy.
Sae couldn’t breath, anger and sadness rushing through him as Ryusei looked at him, the same smarmy little smirk plastered over his handsome face.
Because of course he could make a shit situation even worse.
Of course he didn’t even look like he was sorry.
Sae turned around, forcing the bedroom door open as he tried to run away before Ryusei could even say anything. The darkness of the hallway greeted him, consuming him whole as he set a foot onto the cool wood of the floor.
Sitting up straight in bed, Sae gasped, his heart beating out of his chest as he tried to come to terms with the anger still coursing through his body.
He sniffed, rubbing at his eyes with the back of his hands, slightly damp with tears, but not as wet as they should have been with how deeply he had been sobbing in his dream.
His dream… Right.. It was just a dream.
It. Was. Just. A. Dream.
Taking a deep, shaking breath, Sae closed his eyes again, trying to shake the thoughts from his head… It had all been so vivid…so… real.
Flexing his hands into fists, he exhaled, trying to release his anger over an event that never occurred, and rationally, he knows did not happen.
Beside him, Ryusei shifts, rolling over to wrap his arms around Sae in his sleep. He sighs, so content in his own dream world as he rubs his face against Sae’s hip, making himself comfortable as he tosses one of his legs over Sae’s. Sae frowned, frustrated that Ryusei has been able to continue sleeping so casually as if nothing even happened.
Slipping his hands under Ryusei’s arms, he pried him off and shoved him, Ryusei slowly coming to as he rolled towards the edge of the bed.
“Sae? What-”
Another shove, this time with the added strength of his legs, sent Ryusei tumbling over the edge of their bed and onto the floor. Sae quickly grabbed their blankets, cocooning himself in them as he dropped back to the bed, tucking his head against his pillow as Ryusei spilled a litany of curses that would make a sailor flinch.
Sae screwed his eyes shut as he felt the bed dip, Ryusei finally crawling back into bed. He could pretend he was asleep, even though he very clearly wasn’t. Maybe Ryusei would leave him alone and he wouldn’t have to explain himself…
“Sae… Sae , don’t ignore me.” Ryusei grabbed his shoulder, shaking him once before forcing him to roll over and face him. “Sae, it’s like three AM, what the fuck was that?”
“Shh… I’m sleeping.” Still keeping his eyes closed, Sae pulled his blanket up to his eyes, covering them so that Ryusei would not be able to see his pathetic expression. He wasn’t proud of himself, but the feeling of losing Ryusei to someone else…it wasn’t a sensation that he could so easily shake.
“The fuck you are… Sit up.”
Sae felt the burn of the bedside lamp on his eyelids, and slowly cracked open one green eye. Ryusei was staring down at him, a frown on his face and arms crossed over his bare chest. He waited, not breaking eye contact as he stared… patient as Sae threw his blanket to the side, rolling into a sitting position. Sae settled himself into a position that mirrored Ryusei’s, legs crossed underneath him, and hands folded in his lap. After another shaky breath, he looked up at Ryusei through his eyelashes with all the grace and composure of a kicked puppy.
Ryusei’s shoulders softened at his boyfriend’s expression, uncrossing his arms to run a hand through his loose blonde hair. He reached across the distance between them and grabbed Sae’s hands, urging the anger out of the room as focus turned to Sae’s sad face.
“What’s wrong, huh? Why’d you literally kick me out of the fucking bed?”
Sae shrugged, feigning ignorance as he turned his head away, lower lip sticking out in a pout.
“Sae…stop being dumb, the faster we talk the fast we can go back to sleep-”
“You cheated on me.”
Ryusei paused, a clear look of confusion on his face as he tried to register what Sae just said. The confusion turned to offense as he leaned to the side to look Sae in the eye again.
“No, I fucking didn’t, Sae. What would make you think I did?”
Sae finally met his boyfriend’s gaze again, looking at him with a grimace. “I had a bad dream.”
Once again stunned into silence, Ryusei leaned back, his early morning brain not fully comprehending.
“I cheated on you…in your dream,” Ryusei restated, trying to make sure he had the full story before reacting. Sae nodded in response, eyes showing the hurt he had experienced by the fictional Ryusei committing the fictional cheating, and once again, Ryusei’s expression softened as he sighed.
“Come here, dumbass.” Reaching towards Sae, Ryusei grabbed him, pulling him into his lap so he could properly hug him. Sae didn’t fight it, letting the warmth of Ryusei’s body pull him in and envelop him in the degrees of comfort he so badly needed. Ryusei squeezed him, and Sae tucked his face against his neck, inhaling deeply the comforting scent of his partner.
“You know I’d never do that shit to you, right?” Ryusei mumbled against his hair as he ran a hand over Sae’s back, calming the heart that came so close to being broken over something so stupid.
“Yeah…” Sae mumbled in return, winding a hand in Ryusei’s hair, keeping him close, and securing himself tightly in the nook of his boyfriend’s shoulder.
“Cuz man, I know thats probably what everyone expects from me, but fuck, I’d never do that. You are literally the only thing I’ve ever wanted, even if you’re a little bit crazy sometimes.” Ryusei chuckled as Sae pulled his hair at the comment, and squeezed him so tightly it almost hurt. “I’d really have to be fucked up in the head to ever cheat on you, so no more dreams like that, and no more kicking me out of bed. ”
The last phrase was whispered, like a threat and a warning. Sae nodded, hoping that the dream wouldn’t return to him as they went back to sleep. Ryusei nodded as well, satisfied for now, knowing they would probably talk more in the morning about Sae’s worries, but for now, he leaned over to flick off the light.
Settling them both back down in bed, Ryusei made sure they were comfortable as he hiked the blanket back up to their chests, snuggling down in the warmth of their bed. He patted his chest once, then twice before Sae got the hint, sliding over to his side to rest his head on Ryusei’s broad chest. Ryusei sighed contentedly, and wrapped an arm around Sae’s shoulders, holding him there tightly so he couldn’t escape.
“No more shitty dreams, Sae,” Ryusei called out to him as Sae started to lose the battle with sleep, comforted by the warmth of Ryusei’s skin and the consistent thump of his heart. “Just dream about me, and all the freaky things only you get to do with me.”
Sae frowned, eyes shooting back open as he slapped Ryusei’s bare stomach. Ryusei groaned, grabbing Sae’s hand so that he couldn’t smack him again, before leaning down to kiss his forehead.
“Oh, Sae, you treat me so well. No wonder you dreamed about me cheating on you.”
“You love me,” Sae grumbled, closing his eyes and ignoring Ryusei’s attempts to incite him in another spat. Ryusei laughed at his scrunched up face.
“That I do, Sae. That I do.”