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It's been a while since he's been back to Iwatobi. His life in Tokyo is busy and even in the off season he's making sure to never miss out on practice (and nags the other guys on the team to do the same, when they're not complaining about him being too single minded). His mother's gentle reminders to come home once in a while are usually met with a grumble about Natsuya being the one to actually never visit, and Ikuya is not too proud to admit, at least to himself, that he's gotten into a habit of using his brother as an excuse.
It's not that he doesn't like going home, or seeing his parents. His relationship with them is painfully normal, and he's usually happy enough to see them when he gets the chance. It's just that, if he's honest, aside from them not a lot has been waiting for him back there for a long time now.
Since coming back from America he's been back home maybe a handful of times, usually on some of the big holidays or his mother's birthday (even Natsuya knows not to miss that), occasionally even able to convince them to come over to Tokyo when they really want to see him.
He, and Hiyori, by extension, have spent most of their free time in Tokyo, training. Hiyori has tried suggesting going to Iwatobi with him a few times after getting back from America, hiding his true intentions behind a fake smile and a claim to have some kind of nostalgic memories connected to the place from when he was a child (thinking back on it now, maybe the sentiment was actually genuine- the image of a sweet shy smile and big brown eyes belonging to a child he could never connect to his careful, calculated, seemingly confident older version, flashes through his mind), but Ikuya has always blew him off, non-too gently, he thinks now.
Iwatobi has always occupied the same space in his heart as his seven grade memories, and the relay team .Every time he's been back he's been assaulted by flashbacks he didn’t want to revisit- Asahi running and yelling, passionate and loyal to a fault, Makoto smiling gently, always taking care of them all, making sure they stay out of trouble, and Haru… well, Haru has dominated so much of his thoughts for such a long time, no matter where he was, and somehow along the years Iwatobi became a place he preferred to avoid, if given the option.
But this year, this year it's different. This year he's sitting across from Haru and Makoto on a train, Asahi sitting on the seat next to him and Rin and Yamazaki (who Ikuya respects just a little too much to start calling Sousuke when they only just met) are sitting on the other side of the aisle.
Ikuya tried to convince Hiyori to come back with him, like Hiyori has wanted so many times in the past, but Hiyori just smiled the kind of smile that Ikuya has learned (only in the last few months) to recognize as guarded, and said he promised to visit some relatives in Kyoto. Ikuya wanted to protest, but things have been… weird, and complicated, between them lately, since Ikuya has started making a real effort to be Hiyori's friend. And secretly, Ikuya thought that maybe some time apart could do both of them some good. (He still made a promise to himself to send Hiyori as many pictures and messages as he can, because the lonely expression Hiyori has been wearing lately on his face when he thinks no one can see him is something that pops into Ikuya's mind in the most random, inconvenient moments, making his heart squeeze painfully).
It's been a bit of a rash decision, to take a train instead of a plane, (one that he regrets after the first 3 hours of a ride that could have been over after an hour and a half in the air,) but it's also nice, in a way, to take the long route like that together.
It's dark now, and late. The conversation between the 6 of them slowly came to a halt about an hour ago, each of them retreating into their own, trying to sleep the long ride away or listen to music. Ikuya has his head leaning against the window, eyes closed. He turned off the music playing on his phone a while ago but didn't bother taking the earphones out of his ears, content to stay in his own personal bubble, especially after Asahi tried to start a conversation a few times in the last half an hour, before giving up and falling asleep himself.
There's rustling from the seat in front of him, something that sounds like tossing and turning while trying to get comfortable.
"can't sleep?" He hears Haru's quiet voice ask, and for a second he thinks he's talking to him, before hearing Makoto let out a heavy sigh.
"I guess," Makoto says, and his voice sounds less animated than Ikuya is used to, speaking quietly into the dark space around them.
"Is it your neck, still?" Haru asks, and the concern there is so real that Ikuya has the urge to open his eyes and see what kind of face he's making. He doesn't, though, some part of him is telling him not to intrude on the moment, even if it makes something all too familiar ache inside his chest.
"It's okay, it’s just a little stiff," Ikuya can almost hear the soft smile on Makoto's face.
Haru makes an annoyed sound, and Ikuya can hear some more movement from his seat. "It’s because you were studying all night, yesterday. You were hunched over your desk. It looked uncomfortable."
"Mhmm," Makoto lets out a small, satisfied sound, that makes Ikuya close his eyes even harder, feeling his face warming for some unknown to him reason. "You know I had to finish the assignment before going home… you know how Ran and Ren can get. I didn’t want to let them down; I haven’t seen them in so long." Makoto chuckles then, his voice getting even quieter, and Ikuya has to strain a bit to hear him (not that he's eavesdropping, of course, he thinks, feeling a little ashamed). "Don’t give me that look, Haru. I'll get some rest tomorrow. I'm sure they’ll let me sleep in."
"You're working too hard," Haru says, and his voice sounds accusing but also so gentle it makes Ikuya's stomach do a little uncomfortable flip.
"Look who's talking," Makoto retorts, and the answer is so not-Makoto-like it makes Ikuya open his eyes a bit, careful not to disturb them, just in time to catch Haru's hand falling from somewhere near Makoto's shoulder. "I'm fine, Haru chan, really, you don't need to worry." Makoto reassures, his voice back to his regular, gentle tone.
Ikuya expects the usual annoyed 'drop the chan' he's so used to hearing, But Haru stays quiet, and Ikuya sees from the corner of his eyes Makoto's fingers giving Haru's hand, that just landed on the seat next to him, a gentle squeeze.
"At least get some sleep now," Haru says, pushing a bit away from Makoto so there's space between them, but angling himself in Makoto's direction, giving him a long look.
"I was trying to," Makoto says, rolling his broad shoulders a bit, turning his head from side to side, "can't get comfortable."
Haru stays silent for a few seconds, eyeing Makoto with an unreadable expression, before clicking his tongue. "Just come over here," he says, tone impatient, Making Makoto turn to look at him.
"What…" he starts to ask, before his cheeks turn a little pink. "Haru!" he whisper-shouts, looking scandalized. "that’s…embarrassing," he brings one of his hands to his face, rubbing his cheek absentmindedly.
Haru smirks at that, and Ikuya is so caught off gourd by the expression that he has to remind himself not to make any movements to see it better, to not draw attention to himself.
"You said it's comfortable," Haru says, a teasing edge to his voice that for some reason reminds Ikuya of Hiyori for a second, a thought that makes him feel even warmer than before.
"Well...Yes," Makoto says sheepishly, looking down at his lap. "We're on a train," he adds, a bit sternly.
"So?"
Makoto looks at Haru for a long moment, and Ikuya has a strong feeling of deja vu. He was always a little jealous of their non-verbal communication, the way they seemed to understand each other without needing to talk (even though, back then, he could never admit to himself why that made him jealous. Even today, it's a feeling he keeps locked somewhere deep and safe inside of him, only visited on days that have his carefully calculated self-control slipping. Days that happen more and more in the last few months, after reuniting with everyone.)
But something about it is also different than back then…more mature, he thinks, more… intimate (the word makes Ikuya cringe, but he also has to admit, it fits best). He noticed, (of course he has, after not seeing them for so many years,) they're the same but also different.
Makoto will still get easily flustered, but he’s also sure of himself in a way he wasn’t before, especially when it comes to Haru. The fussing is there but it’s also a lot quieter, reassuring- He's seen Haru subtly bask in the gentle care and attention in a way he didn’t used to.
And Haru, well, to be honest, it took Ikuya some time to notice the difference in the way Haru has been treating Makoto. He's been so busy with his own, Haru-centered drama, that at the beginning all he could notice was the difference in how Haru was being with him. He was more patient, more caring, made more effort. It was all so overwhelming and good that Ikuya didn’t have much desire to share Haru with other people, even in his own head.
But he has noticed, eventually, the way Haru is treating Makoto differently from the rest of them. Ikuya is a bit slow, sometimes, he thinks, can be a little self-centered (ironically, he knows Makoto would be mad at him if he knew that's what he thinks about himself), but he does get there, eventually.
Haru is… doting, for the lack of a better word. He gravitates towards Makoto whenever he's around, always looking, assessing. He asks him if he ate, how his exams went, how was his shift at his part time job. He always buys a dessert at Asahi's sister's café, but it always somehow finds its way into Makoto's plate, not even half eaten.
And it's not that he didn’t do any of these things when they were kids- Ikuya has always known that Makoto was Haru's best friend, that he was special to him.
But at the same time, there was always some kind of an edge to Haru's behavior around Makoto, like he was embarrassed to care, like it was maybe a bit of a chore. Ikuya can remember a few instances where Haru had called Makoto meddling, or wishy washy, or rolled his eyes at his dramatics. And Makoto has always beared it with grace, smiling sheepishly or apologizing. Privately, Ikuya sometimes thought that Haru was patronizing Makoto, and even remembers one or two occasions where he genuinely felt upset on Makoto's behalf.
There's none of it now, though. So much so that Ikuya wonders how he could ever think that Haru felt anything less than adoration towards Makoto, even back then.
"I'm too heavy," Makoto says, after a long silence, pulling Ikuya out of his thoughts.
"You're not heavy," Haru says immediately, like they had this argument a million times before.
"You know that's objectively not true, right?" Makoto has a small, amused smile on his face, and his eyes crinkle. Ikuya has always liked being on the receiving end of Makoto's smile, so he can't really blame Haru for taking a moment to just look, take it in.
"I'm strong," Haru says, eventually, and there's not a hint of embarrassment in his tone, his face as expressionless as ever.
"You are," Makoto agrees, and his voice is so soft Ikuya closes his eyes for a moment, feeling like he's intruding again.
He opens them again when he hears some movement, just in time to see Makoto lowering himself on the seat, head landing on Haru's shoulder.
Haru moves a bit then, letting Makoto's head slide deeper into his space, forehead buried in Haru's neck. Makoto let's out a content sigh, and Ikuya feels his own heart beat a little faster in his chest.
Haru leans his cheek against Makoto's head, his hand going up to makoto's face, pressing for a moment against his forehead and cheek.
"I think you might be a little warm," Haru says, voice concerned again, and Ikuya can see his eyebrows draw together in an expression he's not sure he ever seen on him before.
Makoto shakes his head as best as he can in his position, snuggling closer to Haru, (Ikuya's chest squeezes again, uncomfortably). "I'm Okay, Haru, really, just tired."
Haru looks down at Makoto, and then around. It’s the middle of the night and from the lack of noise Ikuya is pretty sure everyone aside from them is sleeping. Haru's eyes land on him for a moment, and Ikuya's heart beats fast in his chest, feeling caught. But either he doesn't notice that Ikuya is awake and listening, or he doesn’t care, because the next thing he knows Haru is leaning down to press his lips to Makoto's forehead, his hand coming up to smooth his brown hair back.
"Sleep," he says, softly, and Makoto hums a little, somewhere between contentment and protest, but doesn’t say anything.
Ikuya closes his eyes too, feeling a mixture of shame for listening, embarrassment for what he just saw and another, painful feeling that tastes a bit like iron in his mouth and burns a little like tears in the back of his eyes, which he's desperately trying to push down as best as he can, breathing slow and even threw the worse of it.
He falls asleep, eventually, exhaustion winning against the odd mix of emotions, and the next thing he knows he's being shaken awake by Asahi, saying they arrived and need to change to a local train. The rest are already awake and taking their stuff out of the overhead compartments. Makoto is chatting happily with Rin, looking well rested and energetic, Yamazaki stands quietly next to them, bag already in hand, obviously engaged in their conversation. Asahi grumbles next to Ikuya about being tired, but Ikuya can hear how excited he is to be back home. His eyes catch Haru's, then. He's standing with his bag on his shoulder, leaning against the side of the train seat, and when their eyes meet he smiles at Ikuya, small and sweet. Ikuya's stomach does a little weak leap, but mostly stays calm, and Ikuya finds that it’s not hard to look at Haru's face straight back and smile as well (even though he could still feel his cheeks heating up a bit under the sudden attention).
When they get off the train the sun is already low in the sky, creating a dim light that spreads across the fields in front of them. They can't see the ocean yet but it's pretty enough that Ikuya takes out his phone to snap a picture, sending it to Hiyori immediately, before he could overthink it.
He gets a response almost instantly (and it's early enough in the morning that Ikuya feels a little pang of concern about Hiyori's lack of sleep.)
'It looks beautiful :)' it says, and then a moment later- 'hope your train ride wasn’t too bad.'
'It was okay,' he writes back without a second thought, finding that it's not a complete lie.
'let's videochat later? I can show you my neighborhood, if you want," he adds, because suddenly he feels like he wants to see Hiyori's face, even though it feels a little embarrassing to suggest.
'Sure :) I would love to see where little Ikuya grew up,' Ikuya rolls his eyes, but he can feel the beginning of a smile stretching on his face. Somehow, weirdly, he feels a little better.