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☆♪ bachira.
Meguru knows that he’s not good. He’s not exactly loyal and he’s not very nice, he doesn’t really have friends either. A monster whispers in his ear, crawls under his veins and he’s not always very mature and half the time he feels like his head is somewhere else and he can move like a divinely blessed dancer but he’s not a good person.
Isagi makes him feel different.
His bright and cheery self isn’t a lie, it’s just another facet of him. People are versalite and complex after all. He likes being alive and he loves playing football, he doesn’t really care about anything as long as he can come out on top. But when he’s around Isagi, yes, he still feels like a living lit flame but there’s another warmth in his chest. He looks at Isagi and the monster isn’t the only one snapping to get his hands in that skin. Lingering in his personal space, touching him with a familiarity that should be reserved for lovers - Meguru wants to push Isagi as hard as he can, wants to see him bloom into a monster just like him, wants to taste that crackling fire against his tongue. Yet, late at night, when he wakes and he knows that outside, midnight has passed but the sun has yet to rise, he thinks he wants to learn how to be gentle too.
Meguru isn’t a good person, but in many ways Isagi isn’t either. There’s a degree of cruelty needed for Blue Lock, is cultivated and encouraged by it, and Meguru loves that part of him just as much as he loves the soft smiles in the twilight atmosphere. He wonders what that says about him.
He thinks he’d learn how to be cruel and how to be kind, if it meant staying in Isagi’s life.
Blue Lock could be where his dreams fall to ruin, he doesn’t think it will be. He has a confidence in himself and in his monster because even if he’s lonely, he’s got the mind of a supercomputer and the passion of a star in that eternal moment before it dies. He’s never going to give up, he shines like a supernova when everyone else starts to despair - it’s what makes him, him. He’s bright colours and wide smiles and a bit of a mama’s boy. Football is his priority, it’s what makes him happy and serves as his driving force but perhaps it wasn’t the reason he came to Blue Lock.
A talent that evolves ever constantly, a mind that can see further than the eye, a kindness and a faith that smells like cruelty from another angle, a trust and a bond that he’s never felt before. Eyes that soften and splinter in the span of breaths, a determination etched into bones and a body like a painting, Isagi makes him feel. He’s never even had friends yet Isagi, one boy, has him thinking about love.
And he’s learning to be good with others too. Kunigami and Chigiri, even to a lesser degree the other Team members. He feels himself unfold from the frosty shell of loneliness and it’s shaped a lot like friendship. They look at him with confusion in their eyes and, usually, that’s where the isolation and snide remarks start. It doesn’t. His happiness, that isn’t always shaped right, and all the strange little parts of him that he refuses to change because that would feel a lot like giving up, are adapted to. His monster isn’t sure what to do with that, he doesn’t know either. When Kunigami runs a hand through his hair after his goal, his monster licks its teeth and crackles, uncomfortable and strangely pleased in equal measure. He’s always been chasing - chasing after someone he could look at and see the worst and ugliest parts of himself reflected back. He doesn’t quite get that with Isagi or the others, he thinks he gets something better.
The thing they don’t tell about loneliness, is that it’s insipid. It permeates every aspect of life, until one can’t even breathe or eat without thinking about how lonely they are. Meguru spent years by himself with no one to talk to or laugh with, before his monster settled in his bones and kept him company. Now though, in this shit show of a programme, Meguru feels alive, when he wakes up to Isagi’s eyes and voice. He feels alive, and a little less lonely. The ravaging violence lying in his marrows hasn’t dampened - no, that dichotomy of silliness and horror is what makes Meguru tick. But when his feet dance like a dragonfly, when sweat is dripping off him like rain and he’s consumed by the need to be better better better, Isagi’s eyes and lips make the spark in his eyes gleam.
He wants to walk out of here with Isagi. Wants to hold his hand and bite his neck and listen to him speak for hours and rip him apart and kiss him for months and fuck him until neither of them can walk. Isagi feels like a lot of things, but most of all, he feels like destiny.
✿♚ chigiri.
Fear shouldn’t be underestimated.
Hyoma runs because that’s when he’s happiest, the shining prodigy who has the speed of wind in a hurricane. Football, being good at football, is who he is. It doesn’t matter that no one really talks to him, that when he has an idea or a complaint, there’s nothing to do other than keep silent. It doesn’t matter because he can run, and when he does everyone loves him even if they don’t like him.
And then, he can’t run anymore.
No one talks to him, he’s disgraced. Fallen from a height, tragic, so very tragic. He loves football, desperately wants to love it again but it feels like it’s left him behind, it feels like it has stopped loving him back.
He’s beautiful and has talent buried under his skin and is also very, very, very lonely.
His knee feels like a prison, it prevents him from talking to people or doing what he loves or running like he used to, without a care in the world. Instead he can only think about the ending that awaits him, one more injury and everything (the only thing) he’s ever loved goes up in flames. So he gives up.
(He doesn’t want to).
There’s nothing to be done, not even Hermes can run with legs chained to the ground. All that’s left of Chigiri Hyoma is a distance that can’t be crossed, and the quiet grief of lost dreams. When everyone else is happy and closer and real, he feels less like a person and more of a shadow, lingering when the sun has long moved on.
Then, Blue Lock. Fucking Blue Lock.
He’s been alone for what feels like forever but when he’s with Isagi his tongue feels like honey and before he can really stop himself he’s pointing to his knee and saying ‘ACL tear’ when it’s actually ‘my ruin’.
He’s furious, he really is, when Isagi talks to him, eyes like volcanoes, because how dare he? How dare he speak so crassly, so lightly about something that’s been drowning and crushing every bit of Hyoma from his organs. How dare he assume his feelings, he doesn’t know how long Hyoma’s been trying to kill the part of him that jumped into the white of the sky cheering because, yes! Another goal scored, another point! He’s given up, he has, because everytime he thinks of running, every inch of his body is consumed by that old sharp pain as if his brain is saying ‘you fucked up once, and you’ll do it again’. Isagi’s words piss him off because- because-. He’s wrong. He’s wrong.
(It feels a lot like the truth).
And then, he’s reborn again.
He can hear his teammates’ surprise, yes, the princess of Team Z can run faster than a dragon because Hyoma doesn’t care anymore. If this is it, if this is his end and all that’s left after is a body that can’t do what it was made to do, so be it. He’ll go out in a blazing fire because he reached for the stars before, and now he’ll do it again.
Isagi. Isagi remakes him.
He doesn’t really know how to put it into words. It’s not like he can just grab him by the shoulders and say ‘I feel alive again, I haven’t felt alive in years, you make me want to be better than the best version of myself, you make me want to fly’. He’s not that sort of person, it would feel weird too. So he stays silent and slowly adds himself to the orbit of planets that revolves around Isagi, to the obliviousness of the boy in question. He wonders if Isagi knows that Hyoma looks at him and thinks ‘thank you’ and ‘I want you’ and ‘you remind me of flowers that look as stunning as they are poisonous’. When Isagi asks after his knee and helps him take care of it, a lump gets stuck in his throat. He thinks he’d treasure him, because he wants to overcome him too but Isagi feels a bit like a home that’s slowly being rebuilt and he wants to cling to every scrap of him that he can get.
Hyoma lives in the in between. In quiet moments and wretched fury and looking pretty and running like his feet are made of feathers. They call him ‘miss’ and ‘princess’ and he doesn’t hate it as much as he would. It sounds like an insult, but it shouldn’t be and it isn’t anymore. Yes. Hyoma has the prettiest hair and a quietness that seems impenetrable but isn’t and he looks at Isagi like a man who’s lived lifetimes in a desert looks at water.
But Isagi isn’t the only thing Blue Lock has brought to him.
Kunigami has the body of a Greek god, with sharp eyes and a gruffness that would seem off putting if Hyoma didn’t know any better. If Isagi is bright moments of inspiration and flaming strength, Kunigami is an unwavering presence who’s endearing in an entirely different way. A patience that contrasts his sharpness, a surprising shyness when complimented and steady hands that plait his hair, a kind explanation that ‘my little sister likes taking care of her hair too’.
A sense of justice that is almost ill fitting to Blue Lock paired with an overwhelming strength.
Of all the places to have an emotional and sexual revelation, Hyoma hadn’t expected Blue Lock to be it, but as he burns for Isagi and melts for Kunigami he thinks that maybe surprises aren’t so bad.
☼ ⚖︎ kunigami.
Rensuke has never been entirely alone. His older sister has always been there and then his younger sister came along. A noisy household and constant chaos followed him through childhood.
He loves his sisters. A lot of people mocked him for it when he was younger but even if they have ugly fights, he knows they’re the best people he could have asked for.
It’s his older sister, Koyuki, who introduces him to football. Or rather, Koyuki’s friend and future girlfriend gets her to play and she drags him along for the ride. He’s six years old and being chased around by a bunch of older kids, it’s fun and exciting and he feels like he’s on top of the world. TV shows and recordings inspire him further and soon enough, he falls in love with the sport. Koyuki and Muraki both move onto other things, but they leave behind the gift of football for him.
Tomoe is a girly girl and is a little spoiled, like most youngest siblings are but she’s sweet and believes staunchly in her ‘hero’ brother. It’s worn off a little now that she’s also grown up but he can’t help but want to protect her all the same, even if he knows she can do it perfectly fine herself.
When she’s 9, she decides that she needs to get better hairstyles, ‘the ponytail isn’t cutting it anymore!’ Turns out there’s a boy with long hair in her class who’s mother braids his hair differently each week, Tomoe’s pride apparently can’t stand being one upped and she complains for a week.
His mother is too busy working, his father scrunches his nose at the matter and Koyuki’s neck deep in exams. Braiding hair is a girls thing, his classmates say when he tells them, just get your sister to do it.
Being a hero isn’t just paying lip service. It’s being fair and square and Koyuki barely has time to sleep so he sits down and watches enough YouTube videos to make his eyes hurt and trades favours with the girls in his class to practise. Between playing football and doing hair, he ends up busy beyond belief but it’s all worth it when his little sister smiles like sky on a spring day. She starts talking to him more and he gets an insight into a girl’s brain - which seems to be a lot more observant than his. Perhaps it’s because his only real concern is playing football but all the talk about hair care and, when Koyuki joins in, nail care flies a bit over his head.
Many years later, it benefits him again. Although not in the way he expects.
Isagi Yoichi is handsome and terrifyingly impressive. He passes to Rensuke in a display of trust and belief neither of them fully understand and when he praises him, Rensuke feels a little hot and isn’t sure what to do.
Rensuke’s not the sharpest tool in the shed, other than scoring goals his head is a little empty but he’s not stupid. He sees the way Bachira lingers in Isagi’s presence and the way Chigiri looks and he knows that they feel it too. It feels like falling a bit in love with Isagi is some strange rite of passage, when the thought crosses his mind he can practically hear his sisters laughing at him. Either way, he knows that he’s not the only one a little hung up about the typhoon that Isagi Yoichi is, so he’s not too surprised. He knows he’s bisexual - he’s always like to look at girls and boys after all.
The real surprise is Chigiri.
The other boy started off cripplingly quiet and Rensuke couldn’t help but wonder if he even wanted to be there, unwilling to bother someone who clearly kept their distance he left him alone. But now, it’s changed. That first time he saw Chigiri run down the side of the field, it’s like watching an arch-Angel flying to deliver divine retribution, it’s beautiful.
Intense like concentrated acid, prettier than Aphrodite and a true princess, Chigiri makes him feel a lot less like the tall, muscular sportsman and more like a helpless fool. He quietly thanks Tomoe for her picky hair styles as he helps Chigiri with his.
Soft, vibrant too. There’s something intimate about running his hands through the bright hair and listening to ‘Miss’ Chigiri’s fluctuating whims and requests. They talk while his hands work, about muscles and football and their respective families.
Isagi is loved by all, but Rensuke thinks it’s Chigiri who he wants to lie next to and hold.