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Cody hated the jungle planets. They were always hot, because somehow, none of them ever seemed to have a winter season, or if they did, the Force never deemed to send them there during it. Mild, his karking shebs. He was sweating in his armor; it soaked through his blacks, making them uncomfortable and somewhat itchy. His armor was actually making matters worse and not better. Something must have busted, because the humidity seeped through every nook and cranny of it.
He was starting to get dizzy, and he tried to take a sip of water, but his canteen was dry. He groaned, as he remembered that they were short on water. General Kenobi and he had agreed that the men needed water first, and he had long ago finished his ration of it. He placed his canteen on his belt, hoping no one had noticed. He pulled up his helmet to wipe away some sweat, just to find that none was there. That wasn’t good. He felt like he was on fire… Was he actually on fire? He looked down, but his vision blurred, and he stumbled.
“Are you okay, Commander?” Waxer said.
“Fine, Wax…” he slurred.
His vision was swimming, but he could see his brother in front of him frown. “I’m Boil,” he said, “Waxer’s bald.”
Waxer was bald. He didn’t like taking care of his hair, so he just shaved it whenever it started to grow. “Boil… yes, Boil… I said Boil. Boil’s great, Waxer,” he said, confused and dazed.
“I’m Boil,” Waxer said again.
“You know who else is great?” Cody continued, as if he hadn’t heard Waxer. Waxer was yelling for the General. “Yes! The General! General Kenobi is great!”
“He is pretty great,” Waxer said, and Cody was leaning heavily on him.
Cody frowned, eyebrows furrowing. “No, you’re not allowed to have him.” Waxer looked at him confused, and Cody frowned more. “He’s pretty and perfect. And I want to kiss him. I want to do more than kiss him.” There was a choking noise nearby, but Cody ignored it. “He is very smart, and he flirts all the time. And it makes me confused. Because he is flirting with me because he also wants to kiss me. But he flirts with everyone. It’s like his default state.” Waxer, who kept claiming to be Boil, was sending help me looks to somebody. “Also, why would he want me? The only think I’m good for is that I’m an almost perfect clone of Jango. That’s why the Kaminoans liked me so much and why Fett named me Kote, because I reminded him of himself. Stupid karking sheb.”
Before Cody could speak for much longer, he felt a needle prick his skin, and he fell unconscious. Which was good. Obi-wan was beet red. Waxer was confused. Boil was five seconds from strangling both of his commanding officers, and everyone else was left wondering how this train wreck had come to pass.
It was a few hours later when Cody woke up with a groan and a throbbing head. The medic came over and quickly gave him some medicine, before glaring. He crossed his arms and tapped his foot, waiting for Cody to look at him. Cody, somehow, felt like he had committed a cardinal sin, and he would rather face a hundred rancors than the medic’s wrath.
“I don’t remember you,” Cody said.
“I’m new.”
Brief response. Oh no, he ticked off the medic. That would not end well for him. He swallowed around the dry lump in his throat. He glanced around, before he saw a glass of water, and he shakily reached for it. His body felt weak, like he had come down with some very rare stomach bug that could penetrate even the clone’s immune system. They had been exposed to just about every known virus and bacteria known to the universe while still in the tubes. Hundreds of tubies died because of it.
“What’s your name?” he asked.
“Bev,” he answered.
“Nice to meet you,” Cody said.
“You know, it’s very nice to meet you too, A’lor,” Bev said.
*******Oh kark*******, Cody thought. He was in some deep poodoo. “What did I do?” asked Cody.
“You almost had a heat stroke, you karking di’kut!” the medic exploded on him. Cody winced. That was pretty bad. Heatstrokes were nothing to joke about, and that explained why he felt the way he did. “Now, you’re going to sit here and cool off, literally, and you won’t move or ask for work until I clear it. Do you understand?”
“I understand,” Cody said, and with one last glare, Bev moved to finish formwork in the office.
Someone cleared their throat, and Cody startled, fortunately having put his glass down. Obi-wan was watching with concern in his eyes but an amused smirk on his face. Cody felt his cheeks heat up, but he decided to believe that was still the barely averted heatstroke, and nothing untoward about his General. Obi-wan moved closer after Bev only rolled his eyes at his presence.
“I see you met our new medic,” Obi-wan said.
”He’ll fit in great,” said Cody, “And I can’t wait to unleash him on you, sir.”
Obi-wan chuckled. “I’m sure you can’t. But unfortunately, we had to set him on you first.” Obi-wan stared down at him with concerned blue eyes, which were way too distracting to be legal. “Are you okay, Cody?”
“I’m fine, General,” Cody said, yawning. “Just feeling a bit under the weather.”
“That’s good,” Obi-wan said, nodding. “I, unfortunately, have some work to do, but I’m glad you are feeling better already.” Cody gave him a crooked smiled, as he leaned back yawning again. “Get some rest, Commander.”
“Yes, sir,” he said, slurring his words, this time from sleepiness.
“Hope you get better soon,” Obi-wan said, as Cody started to drift off to sleep. “After all, I would like to kiss you too.” Cody’s eyes shot open, suddenly not tired. His heart pounded, and he was about to call after his General, but he was already gone, with just the tent flap swishing behind him. He could hear Bev snickering from the office, and Cody’s head thumped against the pillow.