Chapter Text
one day joey jojo n speedbump n old man zpelli were walkin thru amercia coutryside on there qeust to fight vampire dio and stony mask and make them dead and broke. it was hard walk but joey jojo n speebdump and zepeli were strong and good becuase they were ripple men who thad trained to fight bad vampire zombies except spedbmp because zeplei oopsed and couldnt give hime ripple magic kung mfu.
"GEE IT SURE IS A BEAUTFIL DAY TO FIGHT BAD VAMPIRE ZOMBIES HUH" said zepely with nthusiasm. it was indeed a beatufil day because the trees were growing and brids were signging and the sun was almost down from the top of the sky. but joey jojo did not hear his bro zeppely because he was too busy thinkin about spedbump's HOT ABS.
spodbump had magic abs that taught joey jojo that he could put hot things on cold things and make the cold things hot too. joey jo jo was very grateful to sepedbump for teaching him this thing because hhe had failed all his science calsses at school like a big dum dum. but he was feeling hot even though speedump was not putting his manly abdonminal muscles on joey jojos big strong arms...
then joj noticed... how do i say this... he had a boner.
"WAIT NO" he yeld iside his head "I AM NOT A GAYBOY I ENJOY THE COMPANY OF LADIES IN COMPROMISING OUTFITS" but it did not work. spedbtmp's smile... his hairs... his manly body... they gave him a feeling so complicated.
"what do i do" he thought to himself. "what if swagbump doesnt like guys who like dueds... i will neverlive it down and he will hate me!" but then he looked sat sbepump again and saw into his
genrleman eyes and new that he could trust the honest spebendump.
while all this had been happening spedward and jojo and zepelei had been travelin aross amerkia and teying to find a place for the spleeping because it was late and they needed a rest time. then spemupm sed "hey whatis that thing voer there" and joey jojo and zelplin looked and saw waht i t was.
it was a hotel and it said "widny knight hotel guardneteed bampire zobie free"
"wow what a deel" sed zerplei "come on gus lets go in there" abnd they went
inside it was dark and kinda spooky but they were courage bugs and didnt afraid
"hello gentlemans" said the counter guy "welcome to our hotel would you like some rooms or something"
"yes we would" said joj "and here is some money for staying"
jojo paid with his jojo credit card that his father had given him when he was young for his birthday.
zpeleing paid with bitcoins beause he was a librarian and didnt belive in statist money
but spenedwagon had no moneys at all! "啊!" he sed with sad "i have no moneys at all"
"it ok my bro" said jojey jojo "i wil payed for you beacusse i am gentleman like you and that is what hgenlyemtn do for each others"
so he did that
"okey that is good (which is the opposite of bad)" said counter man guy and he gave them their boarding bpasses for the room so the could go in and sleep.
zepleien was tired because he was old man so he went to bed imediantlewy but jojo and springtrap decdided to talk.
"GEE WHILICKERS what a hot day it was" said joey jojo wiht enthusaitic.
"i speutndmp is agreeing" saed speedebump because it was true, joey jojo awlays told the true because of his kind jjoey jojo heart.
:i a thinking we should taek off all of our clother so we can be cool and not hot" said jeoy jojo
"you are walwys having the right ideas my good freind" said steinbeck.
joey jojo striped off his clothes so that his bicceps and muscls could be free and breath the claen air like they should. they glistened in the moonlight and sparks shot into the sky from the bautey of his manly body.
sonicbump had also nuded and was hairy like a goat that had not shaved since it was a small goat wth is goat mom. joey jojo caught hismtelf stareing and blushed and truend away because it was to sexy and cool BUT THEN SPENDPUP SAID HEY JOJO GOGO WUT R U DOIN STAING AT ME LIKE THAT and joey jojo was scared and fariad and beause speedguy knew that he loved him.
and because jey jojo was honset and true he said what he said
"spendbump i like u"
pseebdump was confusion
"but joey jojo i knew that u like me because we are gentlyman endventure friend bros fighting zombie mans and dio and mask together"
jojeyjo sadded in his onble heart.
"NO BUMPSPEED" he creid with love and anugush "I LIKE U IN THE WAY THAT PORL FROM STEVE JOBS UNIVERSE LIKES ROSEY QUARTZ BECAUSE YOU ARE SEXY AND GOOD"
edspmbumps face falled and he looked at the ground and the dirt on the ground and the moonlight on the ground and the dirt and his feet.
"so wait" he said "you r my mentor and i am ur apprentice?"
joey jojo sighed with despair like in dang it ronpal.
“BLOODY HELL SPEDDMBEMDP” he yelled at the top of his lungs but quiet so as not to wake up sleepy zpelepinly “SHE IS QUEER AND SO AM I”
“o” said fastcars
he took off his rad bowler hat and sighed ddeply.
"joey ojo ever since that day in chia town when i saw u..." he beinnned with hestitancy "my heart went boom boom because you were very attractive to me"
joey jojos heart went boom boom too.
"every since i was little speedybump grwin up on the streets and fighting bad guys fr money i keew i was a different but i dirnt know how it was." he said some more. "all of my thug friends were like 'hey spagbol i got a gril predgmant with pabby ad we will married' and i didnt get it because grils were gross and dum. so i ran away and went home and criend because i realized i really wanted do to things withe pepes and butts and i didnt know what was wrong."
joey jojo hoed his hand and felt his warm bloods in his veins carrying his breaths to where they needd to go to.
"but y ru a gayboy tho?" he asked the manly man joey jojo. "i tho you were loves with erina back at home but know you are loves with me?"
joey jojo abajed o himself because the conflicts of his loves were tearning him apart (but not really, its only a methaopr).
"i duunt know what it is" he said in sad. "i am loves with erina but iam also loves with you? how can i be in loves in the right way but also in the wrong way ta the same time?! is it a vampre dio tirck to make us weak?!?!"
"oh joey jojo" said slamjam "does this feel like a bad trick from stony mask?" and his kissed him
joey jojo was shcok but it felt good to him so he kissed back and rubbed sidbump's side with his hand as they were hugging.
then he pulled away because his bresths were running out of air and he needed to breat or he would be a dead. "no" he said to his fried seepump "it feels nice and right."
"now u see joey jojo" sed apeedmbup "vampire tricks feel bad and wrong but our love feels good and pure. zobie mans and vampires cant loves with poeople because they are bad. does dio even love any one any way?"
jojee jojo thinked hard to him self. dio had not loved him or his dad or donny or erina but only pretetend to so he coudl rich. and he didnt love whiskey father brandy brendo because he had mde him died with poison tirkc.
"no" he admited "he only loves making zombie mans and evil tricks"
"then if we are loves its cool and we can togethr" said the wise pumpanddump.
bt jojey oj was still not satsitfacted bcause of that erina.
"but what abt that erina tho?" he asked in a sad small voice that did not fight a big stronh man like him at all. "i am still loves her..."
"it ok man" said speodrwang "u are loves with ur dad and erina before dio used his bad tricks to make his dead rite?"
joey jojo nodded.
"so if u ca love u r dad and erina u can love me and her too." spededbump responed.
joeye joj's heart was clar and fee of doubt and pain so he kew hwt to do.
"hey spamfilter u no that things with the ppepee and but that u sed?" he saked.
"r u curuos about doing it rite now" saeid spedbmmmmm
「ＹＥＳ Ｉ ＡＭ！」aid oey ojo and he put his boys thingy in ukebumps u no wut and they did it.
"O YES GIVE ME THE CUMMIES DADDY" yelld speed.bmp but quiety so pezeplin didnt hear what they were doing together in loves
"OK PRINCESS HERE IT IS" said joeyjojo and he hand an orangutang.
spermbump organismsed too BUT THEN SUDDENLY A LOUD VOICE SAID "WHAT IS ALL THAT NOISE I HEAR I AM OLD AND NEED SLEEPS"
AND ZEPLRWERIN WAS AWAKED!
"OH SNAP!" said jjojeyojojo and he did a ripple magic clothes back on trick to put ther e clothes on
Zelenin rosed up like a bird in the sky to his full height and he said in loud voice "JOEY JOJO AND ROBOT EO SPEEDBOMB WHAT IN THE SHIT ARE YOU DOING AT THIS LATE HOUR OF NIGHT! DONT U NO WE NEED OUR SLEEPS SO WE CAN FIGHT VAMPIRE DIO AND HIS BAD GUYS WITH ALL OF OUR STRONG?!"
"well u see mr old zeppleien" said spacehump "joey jojo and i were pro wrestling ad im sorry that we wokr u up."
BUT THEN PEZLPIN POINTED 2 A SMEAR OF STICKY WHITE STUFF ON THE FLOOR AND SAID "NO U LIER THAT IS NOT FROM WRLESTING IT IS FROM GAY!"
joejyoe jojo stepped forward and let his pure heart like goku guide him.
"OLD GUY ZEPELPEN I WILL TELL U THE THRTH! SADBOYS AND I WERE GAYING TOGETHER BECAUSE WERE ARE LOVES!"
then pezdispenser loled.
"oh u guys i know its k." he sed in kind hearted voice like santa clause. "i was a gay like u guys too when i was young and strong and adventure. when i studed rippled magic kung fu in alberkery with tommy pets and dier and stains i became loves with dier and we had many homeoritc wretstling matches together it was rad."
jojey jojo and spendthrift stared in surprised like it was their birthday and they had been given new cars to drive in but it was not birthday it was past revalations from old man.
"啊!" they yelled
then zepely loked oldered than they had ever seen him old before.
"but now it not the time for gay stuff or storeis or storys about gay stuff it is time for sleeps he said and feel asleep.
joey jojo and supeedobump kised and went to sleep 2.
BUT IN A FAR AWAY CASTLE BAD STUFF WAS GOING DOWN
vampire dio was wathing the hotel with magic crystal like on power rangers.
"WTF IS THIS" he angried and punched a wall so it fell down. "I AM SUPPOSED TOBE LOVES WITH JOJO NOT EPSDEBUMP!" but then he loled because he had evil plan!
"I NO!" he said with gfleeful mirth "I WILL USE THIS DIARYS TRICKS TO KILL SPEEDBMP AND THEN JEY JOJO WILL HAVE TO BECOME LOVES WITH ME! AH AH AH!"