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Despite the fact it was an outdoor wedding, the ceremony seemed to drag on and on and on and on and -- “Loras, smile.”
Loras glared at his boyfriend, who’d just elbowed him sharply in the ribs. Renly raised his eyebrows at Loras, and with an irritated huff, Loras plastered a grin to his face. Loras bounced his knee. Renly stared at it for a few minutes as the septon rattled on for a little bit longer. Loras was very glad that he wasn’t one of Garlan’s groomsmen because then people would actually be paying attention to him.
Renly put his hand on Loras’s knee to stop it moving. “Sit still.” Loras’s fake smile made a quick transformation into a much more real glare.
A gust of wind (it had been very windy all morning) blew some of Loras’s hair in his face. Loras decided to blow it back out of the face after hissing in irritation. Renly elbowed him again. “What did I do?” Loras whined.
“You fidgeted again,” Renly hissed at him, ruffling Loras’s curls.
Loras leaned over so that his lips were against Renly’s ear and, in a whisper, whined, “But I’m bored.” He pulled away and pouted at Renly. Renly shot him a glare. They couldn’t do too much since they’d agreed to tell Loras’s family they were together in about a month.
“Tough,” Renly informed him. Loras groaned.
“But Renly!” Loras protested.
“Watch your brother’s wedding, will you?” Renly exclaimed, sounding rather exasperated.
Loras elbowed Renly, accidentally pushing hard enough that his boyfriend fell to the ground. Fortunately, the wedding was on a beach, so he had a soft landing. The septon paused, and everyone turned to stare at Renly and Loras. Renly’s ears turned pink as pulled himself into his chair.
The ceremony started back up. Loras tugged on his jacket’s sleeves and started twiddling his thumbs. A moment later, he started burying his bare feet in the sand once more. When he started bouncing his knee again, his foot caused sand to bounce up and hit Renly’s slack’s leg.
Renly quirked an eyebrow at him before turning back to face where Leonette and Garlan were getting married. “Stop fidgeting or I’ll have to punish you later.”
Loras flushed. “And you expect me to stay still now?!” Loras shifted in his seat every two seconds, suddenly even less able to sit still.
“Loras,” Renly admonished, turning to look Loras in the eyes, “hush.”
Loras growled and tapped his fingers on his leg but otherwise remained perfectly still. Renly smirked and patted his boyfriend’s knee.
❋ ❊ ❋ ❊ ❋
This was officially the best day of Garlan’s life. He was finally getting married to the love of his life, Leonette, and he’d be able to be with her forever and ever and ever. Despite Willas’s affinity for stories and Loras’s romantic notions, it remained an undisputed fact that Garlan was actually the romantic of the Tyrell family. He even had the vows to prove his extreme sappiness.
Or he would have had the vows to prove it. Leonette had made it halfway through her vows -- the septon had finally finished after about half an hour. The wind had been rather violent all morning, heralding ill weather, so they’d been going through the ceremony as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, quickly as possibly ended up being not nearly fast enough, according to the weather.
Halfway through Leonette’s vows, the heavens opened, and rain fell in torrents.
He could vaguely hear Loras crying, “Shit! Shit! My hair!” He could also hear Renly’s laughter, and Margaery and Sansa joking around as they both ran from the rain. Willas struggled to wheel himself up the ramp that had been specially built for him before his father rescued him. Olenna walked with Alerie back to the cottage they were staying in while complaining loudly.
Garlan, for his part, however, picked Leonette up and carried her back to the cottage despite her insistence that she could walk. A few minuted later, however, and Garlan was sincerely wishing that he had listened to Leonette. He slipped in a patch of mud on the path and dumped both of them in the mud.
Leonette glared at him and slapped him upside the head. “You silly man!” she exclaimed through her laughter, “I’d been hoping you’d destroy my wedding dress some other way!”
Garlan smirked. “Oh? I’d think that’d be a bit inappropriate right here, sweetheart.”
“You know what I mean.” Leonette rolled her eyes.
Garlan nodded. “I do.”
Leonette smiled at him despite still being covered in mud. “Of course. Now help me up, good ser.” She extended her arm for him to take.
“It would be my honor, my lady,” Garlan agreed, awarding her with his most charming smile. He pulled her up with the proffered arm. “Right, so, Leo, when we get back, are we going to start the ceremony over?”
Leonette arched an eyebrow at him. “I think your brother would die of boredom. In any case, I don’t think I could listen to Maester Lomys prattling on again. Let’s just start from the beginning of our vows.”
Garlan gave her a sappy smile. “Of course, dearheart. Let’s just get back and un-muddy.”
“I like the sound of that,” Leonette agreed. She sprinted towards the cottage, Garlan chasing after her.
❋ ❊ ❋ ❊ ❋
Willas sent the text to Oberyn. The ceremony had been just so long. Even Willas, who of the Tyrells was the epitome of patience, was finding himself growing bored. Actually, Willas had grown bored, and now he was just losing his patience with being bored. He was bored enough that semantics were the most fascinating thing he could think of besides Oberyn.
Oberyn had been his boyfriend for just over a month. They’d become friends after Oberyn had accidentally crashed his car into Willas’s, which had resulted in Willas losing the use of his leg. Well, Oberyn was interesting for certain, and so Willas had decided to text him through the ceremony.
Because Willas was many things, but he was not Loras, so he’d managed to be discreet in his texting. The phone gave him a notification that Oberyn had replied to his text.
From: Oberyn
To: Willas
You know, weddings are much simpler in Dorne.
Received at 11:23
Willas blinked and tried to formulate a response.
Is that an offer?
If that’s an offer, I expect a better one.
What do you know about that?
Willas then gave up trying to formulate a response. That was just not something a person could reply to via text message. Willas sighed and stuffed his mobile back in his pocket.
He glanced up to find that the ceremony was finally coming to an end. He nearly shouted in relief except that would have been highly inappropriate and Loras-esque.
"I am hers and she is mine," he heard, and then, finally, it was finished. Willas wheeled himself towards the door. From what he'd been told, they were to have a buffet-style luncheon, then the cake, then a feast for dinner.
❋ ❊ ❋ ❊ ❋
Magaery could scarcely remember a better lunch, and coming from Highgarden, that was actually saying something. She'd just nabbed a second portion when she decided to move from her seat with her family to go sit next to Sansa.
Sansa grinned when she saw Margaery sit down next to her. "Hi, Margy."
Margaery just grinned back at her. "The rain didn't spoil your mood, did it?"
Sansa snorted, lady that she was. "I'm Northern. It's a surprise if it isn't raining or snowing."
"Fair point, that," Margaery agreed.
Sansa nodded. "I know. Anyway, I'm really enjoying myself. Weddings are just so romantic, you know? The joining of two people in love for all eternity." Sansa was so beautiful like that, runk on romantic notions, Margaery thought.
Margaery was about to ask what Sansa wanted her own wedding to be like when Olenna tapped her spoon on the glass. Sansa jumped backwards, startled. Unfortunately, at that very moment, the servers were carrying the cake down the aisle. Sansa crashed into them all, and the cake was sent flying.
Margaery helped Sansa to her feet, cursing all the while. The cake landed on the people on the other side of the aisle, including Randyll Tarly and the Redwyne twins.
"Shit," Sansa mumbled to herself. Margaery, however, was doubling over in laughter. Randyll Tarly growled a string of curses that blistered the air blue and stormed from the hall.
Loras stood up and called, "Good riddance!" He earned himself a smack on the back of his head.
The Redwyne twins seemed torn between cursing and laughing and eventually settled on mixture of the two. They, too, left the hall, but unlike Randyll Tarly, they returned a few minutes later in fresh clothes.
Sansa walked up to Garlan and Leonette before offering to bake a new cake for them. At first, the newlyweds had insisted that it was alright, but for once, Sansa seemed a true Stark and argued her way into baking the cake for them.
Margaery could only sigh as her girlfriend disappeared to go bake the wedding cake. Sparing a last glance at the banquet, Margaery followed Sansa to the kitchen.
❋ ❊ ❋ ❊ ❋
Loras hated dances. Well, not really, but he couldn't dance with Renly, so he didn't like it. He didn’t tend to like things he couldn’t do with Renly except for his sports, and even then, Renly encouraged his sports.
Of course, that somehow had translated into Loras being asked by all the girls and doing his best not to shout profanity at all of them. Renly had given him the look when he’d just said, “Fuck, no,” to some girl he’d never seen before and never would see again.
And that had just made Loras all the more irritable that Renly was dancing with all the girls. He’d been watching and probably could prove that Renly had danced with each girl there at least once, even the scarily homely ones. And Loras didn’t like that one bit.
Renly was currently dancing with some female cousin of Leonette’s -- Anysa? Anya? Alissa? -- and Loras glared with all the ire he could muster. The pair moved closer and Renly winked at him.
And suddenly, that was that.
This was something Loras could do with Renly. He could try to scare off all Renly’s dance partners and try to get some of his own. This time, instead of glaring at Renly, he smirked.
He first decided to dance with one of his own cousin, a pretty red-head called Desmera. He had refused her earlier, but now he dragged her out on the dance floor and littered her with compliments within Renly’s earshot.
Renly only smirked, and when they stepped close enough to say a couple words, Renly had with that infuriating smirk of his said, “Glad to see you took my advice.” Boyfriend or no, Loras wanted to punch him for that.
The dance lasted a couple more minutes. Another girl (Leona?) tried her luck with Loras. He sun her out among the other dancers until they were right near Renly and the girl he was dancing with. Loras could barely restrain his smirk as he stuck his leg out and tripped Renly’s dance partner.
She shrieked as she fell, and although Loras quickly retracted his leg, Renly still fixed him with glare. His own dance partner proceeded to smack him before helping her friend to her feet.
Smugly Loras walked over to Renly. Renly continued to stare at him. “What was that for?” Renly asked in an innocent tone.
Loras quirked a brow. “You know perfectly well what.”
“Enlighten me,” Renly answered, but at that moment, another girl asked Renly for a dance. To Loras’s dismay, he obliged and then whisked the girl away for yet another dance.
Loras resigned himself to glaring for a moment before he saw Renly gesturing to the punch bowl. Loras smirked again before walking over to the punch himself. "Renly, hey," Loras exclaimed as if it were a surprise.
"Loras," Renly replied.
Loras looked at the girl. "Excuse us."
She nodded, and Loras dragged Renly off to the side. Renly looked at Loras, apparently amused by Loras's antics. "Jealous much?" Loras's scowl deepened, and Renly laughed.
"No," Loras growled, studiously looking away from Renly's face. "Course I'm not jealous. Who's jealous?"
Renly nearly doubled over laughing, "Oh my gods! You so are!"
"Shut up," Loras groaned. Then, pouting, he finally looked Renly in the eyes. "Make it up to me?"
❋ ❊ ❋ ❊ ❋
Loras nearly choked on his food.
Beside him, Garlan quirked a brow. "Are you sure you're alright, Loras?"
Loras flushed and nodded shakily. He double-checked to see if the table-cloth was still in place. He was quite glad it was.
Loras bit his lower lip to keep from moaning. Whatever Renly was doing with his tongue felt too good, and this could easily turn highly embarrassing. Loras's preferred way of coming out certainly was not having his entire family realize that Renly was spending time with him beneath the table at his brother's wedding reception.
Loras shuddered and bucked his hips slightly.
"You sure you're alright?" Garlan asked him again.
Loras barely managed to say, "Uh-huh."
Garlan just smirked at him. "Have you seen Renly?"
Loras nearly sputtered, but then Renly did that thing with his tongue again and Loras was struggling not to finish then and there. He shook his head when he'd regained bit of his control. "Course not."
"Well, I was thinking you might want to go sit with him since he's your guest, but I didn't see him anywhere."
Loras was about to say something when Leonette said something that got Garlan's attention. Loras didn't think he'd ever been so grateful.
❋ ❊ ❋ ❊ ❋
There was a crash and Willas wanted to do nothing as much as he wanted to facepalm. Well, facepalm and disappear into the floor. Or, more so, facepalm, disappear into the floor, and smack his boyfriend upside the head.
His boyfriend had just burst into the reception with three of his eight daughters. And all four intruders had their guitars in hand, and Oberyn had a microphone. Why couldn't Oberyn have warned him?!
Then, Oberyn started actually playing. Willas mentally cursed. Oberyn was playing a modernized rock-style version of A Rose of Gold. Oberyn was playing it while staring directly at Willas.
Willas noted that Loras looked positively murderous, and Willas wished someone or Renly were there to keep his youngest brother under control. Soon, the song faded into Let Me Drink Your Beauty and then The Lusty Lad.
Loras jumped over the table and ran over towards where Oberyn was standing. Willas banged his head against the table, accidentally spraying the contents of his plate in his hair and down the back of his shirt.
"Loras!" a voice shouted. Willas lifted his head to see Renly, who'd seemingly appeared from out of nowhere, running after Loras.
Renly did not catch Loras in time to keep him from punching Oberyn -- twice. But Renly did save Oberyn from being punched a third time, so that was a plus.
Mace Tyrell then sent for the security guards to take Oberyn off the property. The security guards approached, and then, Oberyn and his three daughters started playing even more loudly. Willas snorted in some combination of amusement and dismay.
After a short fight that the security guards only won due to Loras's help, Oberyn and his daughters were taken from the cottage. Willas was pretty sure that Renly was giving Oberyn a sympathetic look, but he wasn't entirely sure.
Willas glanced around to see if anyone was looking for him. Seeing that the answer was no, Willas wheeled himself out of the cottage after them. He caught up not terribly long after. "Oberyn!"
"Will!" Oberyn exclaimed, and it was then that Willas realized that his boyfriend was well and truly drunk. "Want to come get drinks with us?"
Willas blinked. "I'm pretty sure you'd get alcohol poisoning if you had anything more to drink." Obara snorted in the background.
"Good luck convincing him otherwise!" Tyene agreed with a laugh.
Willas raised an eyebrow. "How about we just go get dinner?"
Oberyn frowned. "Fine."
All three Sand Snakes gaped in shock.
❋ ❊ ❋ ❊ ❋
Margaery had long since learned that interrupting Sansa when she was in the kitchen was a bad idea. However, Sansa had been in the kitchen for hours, and Margaery missed her to the point where she would ignore reason. Margaery waked down to the kitchen.
"Hi," Margaery said as she approached the kitchen.
"Hi," Sansa returned as she worked on decorating the cake. She was biting her lip, and Margery thought it the epitome of adorable.
Margaery gaped at the cake. It was at least three layers taller than the original and much more elaborately designed. How had Sansa even managed this?
"You like it?" Sansa asked as she finished putting on the last floral decoration. She bounced on the balls of her feet nervously.
Margaery continued gaping. "Sansa, this --"
"You don't have to say you like it just because I made it," Sansa said quickly before Margaery could finish.
"This is incredible!" Margaery exclaimed, causing Sansa to turn bright red. "How are we supposed to get this upstairs?"
"I figured we'd call the porters and have them use the elevator," Sansa answered. "Why? Will that not work?"
"It will, but you might want to get on that. It looked like they were about to start the bedding ceremony."
"Shit!" Sansa ran up the stairs only to find the bedding ceremony already begun. "But what about the cake?!" she shouted, but no one seemed to hear her. Pouting, she walked back down the stairs. "So, Margy, do we eat the cake now or save it for tomorrow?"
❋ ❊ ❋ ❊ ❋
The bedding ceremony was easily the most anticipated part of any southron wedding, but Garlan could only find himself dreading it. If he had his way, he'd be protecting Leonette's and his own dignity, but alas, he did not have his own way in this.
The bedding ceremony wasn't quite as horrid as he expected, though he still thought it a bit barbarian as he was carried down the hall behind Leonette. As he was being deposited in his room, the last thing he heard was his mother exclaiming, "So, Garlan, when can we expect grandkids?"