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Chapter 1: chapter 1
Midoriya Izuku is dreaming.
At the very least, it must be a dream; for the last thing he remembers is going to sleep in his dorm room, surrounded by All Mights, and now here he is, standing before three doors.
”Welcome to the Monty Hall problem, Izuku Midoriya!” a voice says.
“It’s Midoriya Izuku.” he corrects.
“Your challenge is to choose a door. One of the doors has the way out of here behind it; the other two have invincible tigers.” the voice continues, paying him no heed.
“Invincible tigers?” Izuku asks.
“They are very hungry.” the voice says. Izuku takes a step back, but the room is a solid black dome; he activates OFA and punches the wall, but there is no effect.
“Pick a door, or the room gets filled with lava.” the voice says. Izuku is not immune to lava, so he points at the door on the far left. One of the other doors sinks into the wall, vanishing.
“The door that disappeared contained a tiger. Now, will you stay with the door you’ve picked, or switch to the other one? You have one minute to decide. Then lava.” the voice says.
So…if there was a ⅓ chance he had the right door before, now there is a ½ chance. So theoretically, he should be fine staying with the same door, right?
Izuku’s just about to say he stays with the same door when a hole opens in the wall, and a woman walks through. She seems maybe Aizawa-sensei’s age, with long brown hair in a ponytail and a tye-dyed t-shirt with a peace symbol on it.
“You! Wait. Not you!” the voice says.
“One of me.” the woman says, and suddenly the dome collapses into non existence, revealing that the two are standing in an area rather similar to the Arizona desert. Izuku, having never seen the Arizona desert, was unaware of this fact.
“So, um, where are we?” Izuku asks.
“Not the Arizona desert, if you’re wondering.” the woman says. Izuku had not been wondering.
“We’re in the space between fanfictions, Midoriya Izuku. I am Thursday Next. Well. Not the real one, the fictional one. One of them.” the woman says. Izuku attempts to process this.
“Fanfiction?” he finally asks.
“Yes. You’re probably unaware of the fact, but you’re a fictional character.” Thursday says.
“That seems unlikely.” Izuku points out.
“Well, it’s a fact. And unfortunately for you, you’re the first from My Hero Academia to make it to the greater portion of Bookworld, though how you got here I don’t know—we have access to a lot of stories, but many of them are cut off from the mainland. The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, for one; and MHA, for another. So as the first from your story, I’m happy to welcome you. But…you’re in danger.” Thursday says.
“Figures.” Izuku mumbles. He always was, wasn’t he?
“As the protagonist of your story, and with the way MHA is cut off from the rest of Bookworld, if you’re killed, your entire world will fall apart without the necessary protagonist energy to support it, and no way of replacing you.” Thursday says.
“What—is everyone okay without me there?” Izuku asks, panicked. He’s not sure what to think of the whole fictional character thing, but he figures he doesn’t really have a choice.
“Yes, Monoma’s surplus protagonist energy (he has quite the unnatural amount for being a side character) can make up for the loss of yours in your absence—that is, provided we keep your absence brief and get you back to MHA as soon as possible. Oh…I really hope we can get you back, I’m not good at this.” Thursday says.
“You’re not?” Izuku asks.
“The other Thursday would be much better, especially for something so urgent, but she can’t do anything to help. So it’s on me.” she says.
“Oh.” Izuku says.
“She’s in Britain. There is an issue with Neanderthals and croquet, but we’ll be getting a clone Shakespeare in exchange.” Thursday clarifies, which really clarifies nothing.
“Okay, time to go. There’s no direct path to MHA, so unfortunately the best way to get you there will be through the fanfiction area. We’ve got no access to MHA itself, but to plenty of fanfictions; all we have to do is find one with suitable levels of dimensional travel to send you, the protagonist, back to where you belong.” Thursday explains, and gestures to Izuku as she walks down a flight of stairs into a valley covered in shifting colors of mist.
“And oh yeah—since MHA is popular in the real world, you guys have lots of readers, everyone is jealous. So expect multiple murder attempts; the Monty Hall tigers were one case of the type of attacks you should be looking out for. I’ll do my best to try and keep you safe. I know you’re skilled and have lots of plot armour, but this is a world you aren’t used to. So please be careful and don’t die.” Thursday says.
“I will do my best.” Izuku says gamely.
The first story they enter at first seems normal, but Izuku soon understands that much is wrong. The plants and streets of the area aren’t right; everything is flat and without texture, there are no lights in the windows of many empty houses. At least until they get to his house. He blinks.
“Why is Kacchan’s apartment directly beside my house? It’s not supposed to be.” he says.
“Plot convenience. Come on, let’s find the fanfic you, if anyone knows about dimension travel it’s the protagonist. Who in this case is you, but that isn’t correct for many fanfics, you’ll find.” Thursday says, walking up to the house to knock on the door.
“TOGA!” the person on the other side of the door yells; because Izuku finds himself staring at a different version of himself. Eyes literally glowing green, and face nearly covered in freckles, looking at the other Midoriya is like looking in a warped mirror.
“No! He’s not Toga, he doesn’t look exactly the same as you do, see?” Thursday says. Midoriya frowns.
“Who are you, then?” he asks.
“I’m you from another dimension. I need to get back to it. Do you know anything that could help?” Izuku asks. Midoriya’s gaze flicks to Thursday.
“I’m just here to make sure he doesn’t die.” she says.
“My brother might have something.” Midoriya finally says.
Midoriya’s brother is Shigaraki Tomura. Sorry, Shimura Tenko. He’s playing video games when the two walk in.
“Hey. There was a dimension travel incident.” Midoriya explains.
“Hatsume’s fault?” Tenko asks.
“Probably. That, or your father’s.” Midoriya says.
“His father’s?” Izuku asks, dreading the answer.
“All for One. Who I have disowned as my father, thank you very much.” Tenko says. The two seem to notice Izuku staring at them in shock.
“We’re not exactly brothers; Inko is my aunt.” Tenko explains.
“Oh.” Izuku says.
“It makes the fact that our grandmother trained All Might, who ended up as our stepdad, a little weird, but we’re all connected so that’s cool.” Midoriya says.
“Ah.” Izuku answers.
“At a loss of words from this? This is tame.” Thursday laughs. As if on cue, the bedroom door swings open, revealing a girl Izuku knows.
“Izuku-chan!!” Hatsume Mei yells, running over to Midoriya and kissing him.
They are still kissing.
It is at this point that a massive piece of curved metal crashes through the ceiling; Izuku jumps out of the way as the object is hauled upwards again.
“It’s a plot hook! It’s trying to drag you into the rest of the story, as since you’re the real Izuku it would massively improve the plot. Come on, we have to get out of here!” Thursday yells, grabbing him as the plot hook comes down for another swoop. They run, and soon the air around then shifts and crackles as they break the confines of their current fanfic to enter another.
“Is there someone riding that?” Izuku asks, looking at the giant fishhook that’s flying through the air.
“Oh God. It’s a Y/N.” Thursday hisses, voice a whisper of horror.
“A—a what?” Izuku asks. He thinks he heard a name, but he doesn’t know for the life of him what that name is. The Y/N shouts behind him, their form constantly shifting appearance and clothing, mostly appearing as a girl but occasionally as a boy, or as an unidentifiable gender as well. They are screaming, voice flickering through innumerable tones.
“Reader insert. There are hundreds of them, and they’re horrifying.” Thursday explains, helping Izuku through a ruined wasteland of a city; the Y/N and the plot hook are, thankfully, lost in the storm of the area between fanfiction. He blinks at their new surroundings.
“Think we’re in an apocalypse scenario. These often have time travel, though.” Thursday says. The two duck behind a broken piece of cement to look at a battle happening not too far away.
Todoroki Shouto is standing beside Dabi; he looks a few years older than the Todoroki Izuku knows, and there’s lines of hatred etched into his face.
“Shouto…Shouto, please!” a Midoriya yells; because there’s yet another version of Izuku lying bloodied on the ground, an ice spike speared through his stomach. Holding him as he dies is Katsuki.
“Why are you still fighting? You’ve long since lost.” Todoroki says, an easy smile on his face.
“I’ll kill you. I’ll kill both of you!” Katsuki shouts.
“With what? The quirk you lost?” Dabi laughs. Katsuki grits his teeth.
“Kacchan—Kacchan, you can’t, there’s nothing we can do.” Midoriya says, choking on his own blood as he speaks.
“One thing. One thing.” Katsuki says, and then something in his hands starts to glow.
“Go! If we catch the time travel, we’ll enter a dimension limbo!” Thursday yells, and she and Izuku run towards the burst of glowing energy.
”Bakugou.” Aizawa says. Izuku pushes himself off, the ground, and helps Thursday back up; it appears they’re in the 1A classroom, everyone staring at them with various levels of…interest? Wouldn’t they be more shocked at a second Izuku appearing?
“Wasn’t me.” the Katsuki says, raising his hands.
“Zuko?” Aizawa asks, turning to Todoroki.
“You know I couldn’t do this.” Todoroki answers, looking not at all askance at being referred to by a different name.
“Oh, this would be a crossover fanfic, then. Anyone here have dimension travel?” Thursday asks. Katsuki and Todoroki (?) both raise their hand.
“Cool. Get us out of here.” Thursday says, and Katsuki says something incomprehensible before they’re overtaken with a flash of green light.
They’re in 1A again, and it can’t be the 1A that Izuku knows since Monoma is in Todoroki’s place, with the half-and-half boy nowhere to be seen. Also, Dark Shadow and Tokoyami are separate from each other, and the quirk has a desk of her own. This time, everyone is significantly more surprised at their appearance.
“Sorry! Here from another dimension!” Thursday says.
“The last time we had to deal with this duplication quirk fusion rubbish, someone died. So stop whatever you’re trying now and tell us who you really are.” Monoma snarls. Everyone in the class looks ready to fight; Jirou’s earjacks are crackling with electricity resembling Kaminari’s quirk, and Kaminari himself has Todoroki’s ice and fire coming from his hands.
“No—I’m from the [name of of organization censored because the author forgot what it’s called] You know? The people who make sure everything is handled in Bookworld?” Thursday asks. Izuku stares, as her sentence had gotten halfway blocked out by a robotic voice.
“What?” Aizawa asks, looking no less suspicious.
“Oh yeah…figures you guys haven’t had any contact, since no one’s able to get to the real MHA.” Thursday says, and before Izuku can react she’s grabbed him by the hand and leaped out the classroom window; the two fall through endless darkness until they land yet somewhere else.
“Oh no.” Thursday says. Shards like mirrors are spinning through the gray air, flashing with bits of stories; they shimmer and shatter and reform, but never create something complete.
“We’re in the area of author’s notes, snippets and outlines. Not real stories, but not not a story enough to not find their way here. This place is probably pretty dimensionally loose…if we don’t get killed, we might find a way out.” Thursday says. Izuku picks up a floating shard, but he isn’t sure what he’s looking for, and it falls to ashes in his hands.
Someone wraps their arms around him from behind, and he shrieks, but the arms don’t seem to be hostile and instead are hugging him.
“Deku!” he hears Katsuki cry, and Izuku unravels himself from the arms to see himself looking into the face of a Soft!Good Friend!Katsuki.
“Er.” Izuku says. Katsuki’s eyes are wide and full of an emotion that doesn’t belong there, and it’s terrifying.
“Got dropped from your fic’s plot?” Thursday asks Katsuki sympathetically.
“Where am I? What happened? I’m so glad to see you…are you all right?” Katsuki asks, looking Izuku over.
“I think so. I need to get back to my dimension, though.” Izuku manages. He can’t take Katsuki looking at him like this.
“I’ll help! But I don’t know where we are…or what to do.” Katsuki whines.
“It’s all right. Look, someone else will probably need you for their fic soon, then we can go out with you.” Thursday reassures him.
“You think?” Katsuki sniffles. She frowns.
“You are rather OOC, though. We might have a better chance of getting out of here if we fix that.” Thursday says.
“I’m OOC?” Katsuki asks. He looks like he’s going to cry, and Izuku can’t help but exchange a glance with Thursday. This was so weird.
“Help him be better at being Katsuki. He’ll never be the actual character, of course, but all nulls need training, and fanfic nulls usually get very little of that and remain flat.” Thursday says.
“Right. All right.” Izuku says, and takes a deep breath. Katsuki is sitting on the ground, looking disappointed in himself. So this was…like an inaccurate copy of his friend?
“Katsuki is…well, he believes he’s the best. And he is, he’s amazing. But he knows he’s done wrong too.” Izuku says.
“I heard that the real Katsuki hurt you. I don’t like that.” Katsuki says. He seems rather young, Izuku thinks, for his apparent age.
“It’s called a redemption arc. How long have you been a character?” Thursday asks.
“About a week before the author dropped the fic idea, I barely avoided being eaten by the incoming plot bunnies.” Katsuki says.
“Only a week? You’re new…it’s really too bad that fanfic nulls don’t get proper training, but we don’t have the time to spare for what’s going to be a flat character anyway. Except things are urgent now, so, maybe hurry up on the character training?” Thursday asks.
“Can you help? You seem to be experienced at this.” Izuku points out. At the very least, Thursday knows how things work here.
“Maybe. I mean, I am a character myself—but for that matter, so are you.” Thursday says. Izuku thinks about this, for the first time.
“So I’m the real Izuku, compared to all these fanfic Izukus, but I’m still fictional.” he asks.
“Yep.” Thursday says.
“And you’re a fictional Thursday? But there’s a real non-fictional Thursday?” Izuku asks.
“For a given value of real, at least. Someone wrote a book series about her, except both versions were extremely inaccurate to the real woman…I’m not very much like the real Thursday, though I try. I’m better than the other fictional Thursday…she was from books one to three.” Thursday says.
“Who’s she?” Izuku asks.
“It was…really bad. The real Thursday had to kill her, if I’m remembering correctly. But that’s good—we’ll never see her again.” Thursday says.
”Are you sure about that?” a voice asks. Izuku and Katsuki look up to see a woman walking out of the spinning mists, a woman who looks exactly like Thursday except she’s wearing a tight black leather outfit, grinning maliciously at them all.
“Thursday One-to-Three, the fanfic version!” Thursday yells!
“Just cause the original One-to-Three is dead doesn’t mean my books weren’t slightly popular. There’s still some fanfiction in the depths of the internet…which means I’m still here, Thursday Four. And when you foolishly decided to enter the fanfiction islands, and with a protagonist character from an unexplored series no less, it couldn’t not catch my attention.” the other Thursday says. She’s holding a handgun; there’s a tag hanging off the gun’s handle that reads if found, return to the piano.
“And to find you, Four, in the spaces between snippets and outlines…oh, don’t think I came alone.” One-to-Three (why is she called that, Izuku wonders) says, and in the darkness behind her shadows rise.
“Is it the Mrs. Danver clones again?” Thursday asks.
“You wish.” One-to-Three laughs. Izuku finds that Katsuki is standing protectively in front of him.
“Leave Deku alone!” he cries, voice wavering with fear.
“And lose the chance to kill a story protagonist? To get revenge on Four? Not a chance.
For I am Thursday Next From Books One-to-Three, the superior version of all Thursdays; I have long brown hair kept tight in a ponytail and eyes shining with brilliance that have pupils shaped like Nextian Triangles (AN: if you don’t know what those are get da heck out of here!!) and a lot of people tell me I look exactly like the real Thursday (this is unfortunately true). I’m not related to Ojiro Mashirao but I wish I was cause he’s a major hottie. My teeth are straight and white and I’m unfortunately not a vampire but I eat challengers for breakfast. I also almost destroyed all of Bookworld that one time and took the real Thursday’s place, but someone just had to realize that one of the Thursdays was missing. I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. For example today I am wearing a leather combat suit with straps and sparkly silver buckles because I have to look sexy while I’m killing people. I also have eyeliner in the shape of dragon wings, purple glittery lip gloss, and black nail polish, and I’m holding a gold-plated gun that I stole from one of the only four pianos in Bookworld, and now I’ve walked all the way up to the valley of ideas in limbo on the fanfic island, to kill you all and obtain my ultimate revenge and restore my honor.” One-to-Three says, before sticking her middle finger up at them.
“Uhm.” Izuku manages.
“STUPID FANFIC LAND—“ One-to-Three roars in outrage, her words having been commandeered by the surrounding energy, and Thursday grabs both Izuku and Katsuki by the hand as they run away into the swirling mists. Behind the three chases an army; various fanfic versions of Izuku, all of whom share similar sentiment with One-to-Three towards killing and taking the place of their original. Izuku ducks under a knife thrown by a Villain!Izuku in a suit splattered with blood; Katsuki pushes him out of the way of a strike of Blackwhip, and the horrifying screeches of various Nomu!Izuku shiver his soul. An Izuku with rabbit ears leaps into the air before unfolding a pair of red wings; feathers fly from it, and Tuesday shrieks as Katsuki explodes the projectiles. There are too many attackers to fight, though, and One-to-Three’s gun keeps cracking with the sound of bullets; the floor beneath them shifts, tilting, and they escape into yet another fanfic to the despairing howls of their pursuers.
Izuku: where are we?
Katsuki: no idea 💥💥💥💥
Katsuki: oh my God
Katsuki: 💥💥💥💥💥💥
Thursday: we’re in a chat fic
Izuku: is that why I don’t have a physical presence?
Thursday: yep. Sorry about that.
Katsuki: 💥💥💥💥💥💥 this is amazing 💥💥💥💥
Izuku: how do we get out of here?
Tomura: WHAT IN THE F***
Tomura: …who put the censor back on
Touya: I did, of course
Tomura: you’re not Kurogiri anymore you don’t get to boss me around
Touya: I think we have a bigger problem at the moment
Thursday: there was an unfortunate incident with dimension travel! We’re just trying to get Izuku back to where he belongs
Natsuo: dimension travel I thought we closed the rift
Izuku: I don’t think this has anything to do with a rift
Touya: it better not
Ochaco: what’s going on?
Hanta: I have no idea
Mina: I can probably fix this! Uh…brace yourself for possible psychic damage
”That was weird…I’m not used to being in different writing styles.” Thursday says, blinking awake as the three lie in a field of grass. Izuku rubs his head.
“That was terrible.” he says. The experience of being squished into near non-existence had been terrifying.
“Right, you’re a manga character, so you’re used to having even more physical presence than even this. Fanfic reduces you to just words most of the time.” Thursday says, and Izuku experiences a moment of mental collision and reboot as he realizes he can’t find where he begins or ends, that there’s no art or panels holding him.
“💥💥💥💥.” Katsuki says, his undeveloped-ness as a character glitching after the shift in writing styles. Izuku pushes himself out of the grass.
“So far we’ve just been running through places and trying not to die. Do you have any solid way to get me back to where I’m supposed to be?” Izuku asks.
“I’m trying, Izuku, I’m trying. Probably…the way story tropes go, we’ll find the way out after we go through the most dangerous parts. That’s how things seem to work.” Thursday says.
“๓iງht คŞ ຟēll ງēt ໐ຖ ຟith it, thēຖ.” Katsuki says. Izuku blinks in shock.
“He must be absorbing spare energy, due to being such a flat character.” Thursday says.
“Is that bad? Katsuki?” Izuku asks, worried. Katsuki glares at him.
“I . ﾟ . . ✦ , . ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ . . . ✦⠀ , ⠀ ⠀ , ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀. ⠀ ⠀. ˚ ⠀ ⠀ , . . ⠀ ⠀ ⠀✦⠀ . . . ⠀ . ˚ ﾟ . .⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀, * ⠀. . ⠀✦ ˚ .⠀ . . ✦⠀ , ⠀ . ⠀ . ˚ ⠀ ⠀ , . ⠀ traveled the entire galaxy trying to find out
who asked⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀. ⠀⠀⠀✦ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀* ⠀⠀⠀. . ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀✦⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀. . ﾟ . .” he spits.
“Ah.” Izuku says, intelligently.
“He’s becoming more like the actual Katsuki if he’s being rude. Probably a good sign.” Thursday says. This is only slightly reassuring.
“Where do we find these dangerous areas that have the way out at the end?” Izuku asks.
“We must venture into the valley of death.” Thursday says, directing Izuku’s gaze towards a sloping path that leads to a forest hung in black mist, from which terrible sounds emanate.
“The worst kinds of fanfiction, the filth and horror. I truly don’t want to do this, but time is running out, One-to-Three is after us, and I don’t know what other choice we have.” Thursday says, breath shuddering.
“Okay. I can do this. I’m a hero, I’ve probably faced worse.” Izuku says, psyching himself up.
“Canon to the left of them, canon to the right of them…” Katsuki mumbles.
“Who writes this stuff?” Izuku asks.
“Not T.S Eliot, that’s for sure.” Thursday answers; and without further ado, the three walk to their dooms.
Chapter 2: untitled
Haiiii!!!! Sowwy, but I’ve decided nawt to continue this fic—I wan compwetewy out of ideas, and don’t haz da time. So, instead, hewe’s a wist of pwot points I was considewing incwuding, just in case anywon wants to fiwish it!! <(｀へ´)> ۩ ,¸¸,ø¤º°`°๑۞๑
• Izuku, Katsuki and Tuesday encounter a Nejire from a Nejire/Izuku fic, and have to battle the highly OOC yandere as Katsuki slowly becomes his own character
• Katsuki heroically sacrifices himself but while dying admits his love for Izuku, it’s heartbreaking
• Tuesday and Izuku continue on and are faced with the wilds of torture-fics enough to mentally scar them, everyone has a terrible time
• The two get lost in the valley of death and there meet their unfortunate ends—
Wait. Tuesday?
”HAH! CAUGHT YOU!!” Thursday yells, kicking the interfering Bullet Pointer in the face. Izuku jerks back to himself in shock, watching her attack a weird black dog-looking thing that’s snarling and snapping.
“One-to-Three sent it to try and kill us by making us think we were to die! Clever, but I’m used to Bookworld’s tricks. Watch out, though, she might send more Literary Dogs after us. There are all kinds of types.” Thursday says, with a triumphant grin as the Bullet Pointer fades into nothingness. What an odd creature, Izuku thinks.
“Why is she called that? One-to-Three? Couldn’t you just as easily say One-Two-Three?” Izuku asks, ducking under a branch as the small group creeps through the marshy and dark forest.
“It’s really complicated, and [the author might have the numbers wrong, anyway.] Guys, look for a path so we can get out of here.” Thursday says. Katsuki, working intelligently for once, soon finds one. There’s a sign by the rather ill-kept path.
“Beware of R.O.U.S. What are those?” Izuku reads.
“Rodents Of Unusual Size. You two have powerful quirks, though, so I figure we’ll be fine.” Thursday says; she’s correct, for when a giant rat attacks, it ends up being no trouble at all for the two to keep off.
[image ID: Monoma, in his hero costume, his arms raised in a threatening manner with a look of malicious joy on his face. Letters in a creepy font floating about him say: 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓤𝓐 𝓣𝓻𝓪𝓲𝓽𝓸𝓻? He is also a parasaurolophus.]
“Uh.” Izuku says. He squints. What the frick—how is he seeing that? It isn’t in front of him, and yet it is incredibly clear.
“Seems like an interesting AU.” Thursday comments.
“AU?” Katsuki asks.
“Alternate Universe. In this case, one where Monoma is the traitor instead of [redacted].” Thursday explains.
“Hey, I didn’t get to hear who the traitor was!” Izuku complains.
“That’s because there’s no guarantee the readers are caught up to the manga.” Thursday says.
“You just proved it isn’t Monoma, though.” Katsuki points out.
“True.” Thursday admits. “Unless this was all a misdirection!” she hastily says. It’s not a very effective cover up. Izuku looks closer at the image.
“Why is he a parasaurolophus?” he asks, because the Monoma in the image is quite clearly a certain type of dinosaur. Which…makes absolutely no sense and is not at all explained, but it’s in the image ID, so that makes him one.
“I wouldn’t know.” Thursday says, finally. Izuku stares at the picture that isn’t quite there, and soon chooses to stop attempting to wrap his mind around it.
“Are you guys coming, or what? I’ll get to the end before you!” Katsuki says, waving them on.
“Hey—are you trying to make this a competition?” Izuku asks, grinning. Katsuki was gradually becoming more like the Katsuki he knew.
“Beware of R.A.T.S.” Katsuki reads from another sign, now that they’re some way further into the forest. He looks at Thursday inquisitively.
“That is concerning.” Thursday says, after a long pause.
“Do you know what it means, or not?” Katsuki snarls.
“If I’m not incorrect…Rather Awful Tag Swarm.” Thursday says.
“What are those?” Izuku asks.
“I think you’ll soon find out.” Thursday says, voice full of caution, and both boys look over to see a buzzing cloud of oddly rectangular things zipping through the air.
”RUN!” she yells, and they all book it.
“If any get close, I’ll [bleeping] murder them!” Katsuki roars, hands snapping with explosions; the jolting between writing styles appears to have made him more like the real Katsuki, although the impact of his words is lessened due to the area’s automatic censor. Izuku ducks as a Dead Midoriya Izuku slams into a tree above his head.
“That could have killed you, be careful!” Thursday shouts; Katsuki explodes a Villain Bakugou Katsuki intent on turning him against his allies, and Thursday smashes a Bad Ending and an Everyone is Dead with a big stick the narrative had helpfully allowed her to find.
“Why are we always running?” Bakugou asks.
“Just—just go!” Izuku shouts, Full Cowl enhancing his movements as he kicks tags into dust; unfortunately, he’s hit with a Quirkless Midoriya Izuku and OFA disappears from his control. He stumbles to the ground, the sudden power loss knocking the wind out of him, and Katsuki explodes himself into the air before snatching a tag from the sky.
“Bakugou Katsuki has One for All!Suck it!” he screams, his explosions suddenly bursting with unnatural energy and brilliant lightning that’s only ever replicated in the vaguely non-canon movie of Heroes Rising. Unless I got the movie title wrong.
“Look! There!” Tuesday calls; she’s pointing out a Dimension Travel and a Breaking the Fourth Wall.
“If we get those, we might get a way out of here!” she says, before jumping up to catch a tag from the masses and handing it to Izuku.
“Eat this!” she says, and he shoves the Midoriya Izuku Has Multiple Quirks into his mouth, and nearly chokes on the overwhelming strength of OFA and all the connected vestige quirks rushing into him.
A tag titled Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics is crushed furiously by Thursday.
“The author doesn’t know enough about that trope to have you get hit by it.” she says, before Izuku activates blackwhip to pull himself out of the way of Major Character Death and Blood and Gore. Katsuki catches Dimension Travel with a whoop, and Izuku, floating past tags homing in on him, manages to swoop around them all and wraps his hand around Breaking the Fourth Wall.
“Put them together! Now, before it’s too late!” Thursday yells, and Izuku struggles to mash the two tags together as they writhe in his grasp.
“It’s far too late! Always too late!” a voice crows; the three look over to see One-to-Three, standing at the top of the hill. She clicks her gun, grinning at them, and with the way the tags are all swirling around there’s nothing Izuku can do as she takes aim and—
A piano falls out of the sky to land directly on top of One-to-Three, killing her instantly.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Thursday yells, and Izuku feels uncomfortable; the other woman had been Thursday’s enemy, but they had known each other, hadn’t they? And now One-to-Three was dead.
“THAT WAS ONE OF OUR ONLY FOUR PIANOS!! The real Thursday’s going to be so mad…the budget…where did the piano even come from?” Thursday whines.
“Could be because of this.” Katsuki says, picking up One-to-Three’s fallen gun. The tag that reads if found, return to the piano is still intact.
“She tempted fate by stealing that. More importantly, she tempted the piano.” Thursday says. Izuku abruptly notices the tag swarm is gone, except for the two glowing ones he holds in his hands.
“There’s your way out.” she says. The tags aren’t tags anymore, and are more of a glowing purple gem; it’s smooth and spherical, covered in a recognizable pattern of lines.
“An Immortal Vampire Volleyball Gem.” Thursday says, nodding sagely. Izuku decides not to ask what that means.
“You should probably activate that and get out of here before something happens.” Katsuki advises.
“Will you two be all right?” Izuku asks.
“If I save MHA, I might get a promotion. And Katsuki’s developed greatly as a character—I’m sure he’ll be snapped up for a fanfic in no time.” Thursday says. Izuku smiles. Time to go, then.
Katsuki grabs his hands.
“I know I’m not the actual Katsuki—but I want you to know I know you’re a great hero. You have to be. Because if you don’t live up to that, the real version of me will kill you. Okay?” Katsuki says, and Izuku isn’t sure what to think of his switching tone.
“Thank you?” Izuku says. A giant foot steps on Katsuki and crushes him; he emits a pathetic squeak. Izuku jumps back with a scream, and looks up. And up.
“…Ojiro?” he asks, staring at an incredibly tall version of his classmate with horns and fangs, and a tail swinging side to side enough to cause huge gusts of wind. A primal terror Izuku doesn’t understand strikes his soul; Ojiro pays no heed, though, and simply continues on his walk.
“I’m fine.” Katsuki grumbles. Izuku stares; the fanfiction version of his friend is picking himself up off the ground, and he’s pressed completely flat, 2-dimensional. He notices Izuku staring in horror at his anatomically incorrect form.
“I was a flat character all along, Izuku. Go back to your friend! He needs you!” Katsuki cries, his face orbs shining like an Immortal Vampire Volleyball Gem, impossibly purple even though they are in reality orange. A gust of wind from Ojiro’s swinging tail catches him, and he blows away into the sky, growing smaller every second.
“Don’t cry for meeeeeee, Argentinaaaaaa!!!!!” Katsuki sings woefully as he vanishes. Thursday watches him go with something like regret.
“He’ll be fine.” she says. So Izuku closes his eyes, taps his heels together three times, and wishes he was home.
Izuku wakes up. He’s lying on his bed, in his room, and he takes a deep breath. Was all that craziness just a dream? It’s already vanishing from his mind. He turns on his phone to check the time, and finds he’d fallen asleep reading fanfiction. God…of course it was all the rubbish creation of his mind, what else could it have been? It had been quite the trip.
After getting ready for the day, he walks down to the common room of the door, and sees Todoroki.
“Hi, babe!” Izuku greets, falling into the arms of his lover as they ensue to carry out a passionate embrace, the heat and chill surrounding Izuku making his heart vibrate, his blood pulse, his [censored censored censored censored] before he becomes lost staring into Todoroki’s mismatched heterochrosexual eyes, and they create a fountain of joy between them; Izukus thots are full of the purest love to exist, and every neuron activates as his inner self is truly awakened.
”
Notes:
Thank you for reading! Don’t forget to kudos or comment!! Ɛ>Ɛ>Ɛ>Ɛ>
No, there’s…there’s something wrong here.
There it is.
❤️!
2 comments?
“What were you saying?” Todoroki asks, a look of confusion on his face. Izuku blinks.
“I don’t know. I…I don’t think I want to know.” he says, and shakes his head; something had happened, he knows, but what, he can’t remember. Todoroki seems to have a similar sentiment, and offers him coffee.
“Gainax endings are no good.” Izuku mumbles. There is a penguin outside the window. It is purple.
the end.