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It wasn’t Percy’s first time getting kidnapped, but it was the first time it wasn’t related to godly matters.
Now you might be wondering, Percy, why didn’t you fight the mortals?
Well, the answer was simple.
Monsters were assholes and math was a pain in the ass.
See, he had a math test today, but he couldn’t study the night before because Kelly the empousa figured he would make a tasty snack.
And he couldn’t skip it because he wouldn’t graduate otherwise.
Although kidnapping was a very valid reason.
So really, this was the lesser of two evils.
Plus, they were clearly professionals, he would never have suspected it if he wasn’t a literal demigod.
So, here he was in a classic interrogation room, bored out of his mind.
He was half contemplating just Iris messaging his mom or one of his friends, but he figured they deserved their rest.
Finally, after what seemed like ages, a woman with brown hair and hazel eyes walked in, an official badge on her chest.
She immediately scanned him, seeming to assess his weaknesses.
So they were professionals.
Oh this was going to be fun.
Time to find out if this was worth it.
“Oh thank god. Can you tell me the time? I can’t afford to miss my math test, I’m already repeating a year and I really, really can’t repeat another year-”
Percy broke off, burying his head in his hands, acting like he was holding back tears.
He glanced up again, hopefully painting the image of desperation properly.
“Please.”
He noticed the surprise in the woman’s eyes, a slight raise of eyebrows, and had to stop himself from grinning outwardly.
“Sick grandmother. It’s all taken care of.”
Percy resisted the urge to punch the air from happiness.
He fucking loved getting kidnapped by professionals.
But he still had a part to play.
“Oh. But my grandmother’s dead. Oh wait, don’t tell me, secret grandma? Is this how I find out I’m a wizard?”
...Annabeth might have gotten him into Harry Potter.
The woman stared at him, unimpressed.
“No. Although I do have a couple of questions I would like to ask you.”
“My mom told me I shouldn’t talk to strangers.”
The woman clenched her jaw, and Percy had the feeling she was getting annoyed.
“Well then, I’m Natalie. You’re Perseus Jackson. Now we’re no longer strangers.”
Natalie. Of course.
He had a suspicion the moment the woman walked in, but now it was obvious.
She might have changed her hair and eye colour and even accent, but her features and face were still the same.
And it was obvious she was a trained assassin, and well, there are only a couple working for SHIELD.
And Natalie? A class half-truth.
Dangerous though, especially when she was part of such a famous group.
Whatever. He was going to use this to his advantage.
“How do I know you’re telling me your real name? I’ve watch enough criminal shows you know.”
The woman’s eye twitched.
She showed her badge, which had her identification number, surrounded by the icon of SHIELD.
“No way! You’re from SHIELD? Have you met the avengers before? Did you meet Black Widow?”
Her face remained impassive. “I’m not at liberty to tell.”
Percy jumped up. “You so met the avengers. How are they? Can Black Widow really turn into a spider?”
His jump had startled her, and Natasha's hand had strayed slightly to her coat.
At least one weapon then, most likely a taser, considering his age.
Although he wouldn’t put it past the literal Black Widow to have a gun somewhere in her jacket too.
“Sit down.”
Percy sat down.
“...On the chair.”
Percy raised his hands in surrender. “It wasn’t specified.”
Natasha’s eye twitched again.
Oh Percy was having fun.
“Alright. Let’s start off easy.”
“What’s your name?”
Percy stared at her in disbelief. “What happened to not being strangers anymore? Is this all our friendship means to you?”
The Black Widow glared at him.
Percy had to admit, it was a good glare. However, it had nothing on the wolf stare. Or Annabeth. Or any other demigod's really.
The silence stretched on.
The longer it was, the harsher her glare became but it barely affected Percy as he resumed counting the tiles in the room again.
Finally the black widow spoke again and Percy had to suppress a smile.
He so won that round.
“Expelled from numerous schools, with huge damage caused at each. Kidnapped at age 12. The same year your stepfather went suspiciously missing. Missing for 6 months last year, hidden from security cameras and later showing up in Europe, spotted in similar places where there were terrorist attacks, despite never boarding a plane. Not to mention numerous other incidents.”
Percy hadn't expected that. He hadn’t known the government was keeping track. So much for the mist.
“Care to explain?”
“Wait. Is it 1 pm?”
“Yes, but I don’t see how it’s relevant -”
Percy didn’t bother to listen to the rest. He had officially skipped the calculus test. Take that Mrs Adams.
“Well? Do you intend to explain?”
“I’m a time traveller.”
What? Just cause he was free to leave didn’t mean he couldn’t have some fun before he left.
“Right.”
“I can prove it.” Percy added then grinned. “ Natasha Romanoff.”
The Black Widow’s eyes narrowed. “How do you know that?”
“Time travel.” Percy smirked, as he saw Natasha Romanoff roll her eyes.
Then, he had a split second warning before she took out her gun on him.
He had to admit she was fast, no where near as fast as a demigod though.
Before she could even aim her gun at him, Percy had kicked it away from her, before twisting her arms behind her and kicking her knees, forcing her to kneel, incapacitated.
“Well Natalie, it was certainly a pleasure to meet you. Although I have to say, I believe you have better things to do then go after teenagers." He bent down, lips next to her ears.
"Don’t even think about coming near me or my family again. Understood?”
He gave her his wolf stare, forcing her to look away.
The wolf stare never failed. It was something otherworldly, no human could replicate it, which made it all the more powerful.
“Well Natasha, glad we had this chitchat session. But I really do have to go home now though before my parents worry. “
With that, he grabbed her id to unlock the door, after knocking her out, of course.
As expected the minute he opened the door, he was surrounded by guns.
Clearly, people had been watching the show through the one sided glass pane.
Percy would have fought his way through them but well there was no reason to expend more of his energy.
Instead he snapped his fingers, focusing on the mist. “You’ll put down your guns and leave. No one was here.”
As the dazed security guards left, Percy gathered the guns, figuring camp could make use of them.
With that he let out a sharp whistle for Blackjack, running towards the nearest window as he heard the sound of footsteps beside him.
Before anyone could say anything though he jumped out of the open window, hands filled with guns as Blackjack swooped in to save him.
“He’s a time traveller -”
“Well, he’s dead now.”
“There’s no body on the floor, Gary.”
"You saw him jump out of the window -"
“Well there was no one here for there to be a body Fred.”
“No one? Tom are you just forgetting the guy who bewitched us and took our guns?”
Clear sighted then. Oh well, the more versions, the better.
“Boss? Can we stop for donuts on the way to camp?”
Yeah Percy wouldn’t have to worry about SHIELD for a while.
Plus, this was an all around win.
Getting ammunition, skipping a math test and antagonising the black widow?
He should let himself get kidnapped more often.