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Woo Young Woo had come to learn a great deal more about Lee Jun Ho since their relationship had begun again. Some of the things she had uncovered were surprising; some predictable; some funny; some quite baffling.
This one was most definitely baffling.
Young Woo stared wide-eyed at the sight before her, her hands still on either side of her head, protecting her ear drums. A reflexive action which had occurred as a result of the scream that had rattled through her a few moments earlier.
Breath held, eyes unblinking, she tiptoed towards the tree ahead of her. She could see a shoe, an elbow, and a black tuft of hair sticking out one side of the wizened trunk, and she kept her eyes fixed on these as she crept slowly towards it.
“Jun Ho?” she whisper-called. “Lee Jun Ho?”
Woo Young Woo stopped in front of the tree. She reached both her arms out until she was touching the elbow poking out next to her.
The elbow moved away from her hands, so she stepped forward to follow it.
There was her Lee Jun Ho, behind the huge old tree. Face pressed against the trunk. Making small, strange sounds which seemed to communicate... fear.
Young Woo felt her heart rate pick up in response to this, though she could not say why.
“What’s wrong?” she asked him. Cautiously, she moved to touch his shoulder. “Lee Jun Ho?”
She was taken aback when he suddenly turned around and fixed his gaze on her, eyes wide and unlike his own. They were very red, and his pupils were unnaturally large. They made her think of the eyes of animals being hunted on the wildlife documentaries she sometimes watched.
The rest of Jun Ho’s face was damp and flushed. His fingers trembled as he swiped at the moisture on his cheeks.
“Is it – is it still here?” he asked her hoarsely. “Can you see it?”
“Can you see it?” she echoed back, confused.
“The rabbit, there was a rabbit! A big, black rabbit!” His voice shook as he said this.
“Rabbit?”
“Yes, a – a monstrous, hairy thing! It was right here…”
He spun around, wringing his hands together, eyes darting across the grassy floor surrounding them. He seemed to be breathing faster with each moment that passed by.
Watching this carefully, Woo Young Woo bit her lip and made a quick decision.
“Lee Jun Ho, it’s okay.” She said soothingly. She placed one hand on one broad shoulder, then the other on his other shoulder, stilling him. “It’s gone. It’s okay.” Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Eyes almost meeting his. Then properly meeting his. (She was getting better at this.)
“It’s okay.” She said again softly. Deep breath in. Deep breath out. “It’s okay.”
Jun Ho followed her breaths, though his eyes kept flicking back and forth across the space around them.
For a few minutes, Young Woo continued the slow, steady breaths, and tried her best to keep her eyes locked on to Jun Ho's. As if in response to her efforts, Jun Ho ceased his attempts to spot the cause of his distress and focused the intensity of his gaze on her instead.
This made it somewhat more difficult for Young Woo to keep her eyes on his face, but she persevered. Jun Ho seemed to be calming down, his breathing slowly returning to normal.
Finally, the tension in the muscles beneath her hands melted away, and Young Woo sighed with relief. She was about to release Jun Ho, when -
“Can I hug you?” he asked her quietly.
He sounded very tired. She supposed that the fear response he had just experienced had taken a lot out of him.
In response to his question, Young Woo nodded her head. She did not hesitate as she might have a few weeks ago. She knew well by now that for Jun Ho, giving and receiving hugs both had great power in comforting him when he felt unsettled or upset. Additionally, they had both practiced hugging quite a lot recently and had learnt how to make it a pleasant experience for herself as well as Jun Ho.
Young Woo stayed still as Jun Ho stepped further into her personal space. She kept her arms loose and relaxed and waited patiently for him to proceed with embracing her. She closed her eyes as well – she had discovered that casual hugging felt better for her when there was one less form of sensory input cluttering her consciousness.
Now she could focus slightly better on the sensation of Jun Ho touching her. The familiar scent of him surrounded her as he wrapped his arms around her upper back and brought them even closer together in a firm embrace, with just the right amount of pressure. She felt his head drop down onto her shoulder, and then a puff of air travelled across her nape as he exhaled.
“Will you hold me?” he murmured.
She responded with another nod, her cheek sliding across the soft fabric of Jun Ho’s sweater. Then she was lifting her arms to mirror Jun Ho’s, crossing them tightly behind his back so that the two of them were locked together properly.
No light, superficial hugging here. That type of hugging Young Woo had always hated. It came with the unbearable prickling sensation that made her want to scratch off her skin until she could feel it no more. That type of hugging that had been forced upon her one too many times by well-meaning colleagues, classmates, and teachers alike, and had made her certain she would never willingly accept an embrace that was offered to her.
“Thank you,” Jun Ho whispered. Young Woo felt him turn his head, and then a feather-light kiss was brushed onto her jaw.
Young Woo hummed in response, pleased. She felt happy that she was succeeding in helping to make Jun Ho feel better, especially considering how often he had done the same for her. She found herself half-hoping that she would have cause to give him comfort more often, but she supposed that would mean seeing Jun Ho in distress again. She did not enjoy seeing him that way; she did not enjoy it at all.
“Do you think I’m ridiculous?” Jun Ho huffed out eventually, loosening his grip and moving to look at her.
Young Woo moved back too. Slowly, she set her eyes upon his face. She noted the look of embarrassment that had taken hold of his features. She recognised it easily, recalling its match on the chart in her bedroom.
Jun Ho watched her as she formulated a response, biting his bottom lip as if nervous about what she would say.
“Hmm…well,” she thought aloud. “Phobias of small creatures are quite common, in fact. For example, Geu Rami is afraid of squirrels.” She paused. “Well, it makes sense in some cases to have such fears. They can protect you from diseases you might contract from getting too close to the creature, and from being bitten by them.”
Jun Ho shuddered.
“Although a fear of rabbits is not as common as phobias of other types of small animals,” she mused.
“I know,” Jun Ho sighed. “I feel so silly. I’ve tried to get over it but…I just – can’t.” He finished mournfully.
Young Woo nodded. “It’s okay,” she said. She patted his arms, where her hands were now resting.
She was startled when Jun Ho leaned forward and kissed her forehead softly a second later. Her breath caught in her throat when she looked up into his eyes and saw again that ocean of affection.
Sometimes, Young Woo thought she might dissolve right into that ocean.
Jun Ho cleared his throat.
“Young Woo…” he said, voice soft. “Thank you for not laughing at me. It means so much.”
He said this as if he had expected something else. She wondered who had laughed at him before. She wondered if Jun Ho would tell her if she asked, so that she could go and talk sense into whoever it was.
For now, though, she simply raised herself onto her tiptoes and pressed her lips to his in a quick kiss.
Then she said firmly, raising her chin, “You don’t need to thank me, my Jun Ho. And if the rabbit comes back, I will protect you. Just like you are my personal hug chair, I will be your personal bodyguard.”
(And she was.)
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