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The meetings happened once a month, and every month there was always drama and gossip that seemed to revolve around the small cul-de-sac that the Locksmith Drew York and his husband Michael North lived in.
“Do I have to go?” York asked, leaning against the wall, watching his husband go over his mental note of what he needed to grab.
“Yes, South is here to watch the boys already, and you skipped out on last month’s meeting. I really don’t need to hear it from Helen how you’ve skipped another meeting, she already thinks out marriage is falling apart. I really don't think she grasps the understanding that gay men can have a healthy long term relationship with kids,” the taller blond explained and grabbed the car keys. “Now come on, we are going to be late. And please grab the cupcakes I made.”
York sighed as he reluctantly shuffled to the car. “So, what happened last month?” he asked. “Anything juicy?” he might as well know what was going on before he had to walk into the shit storm that he assumed was going to happen.
“Oh, you missed the Anti-Vaccination mom…was her name…Ruth?” North questioned, he tried not to think about them. “Anyways, she told Reggie and Butch, those guys across from us, that their boy, Gamma, was going to, quote, ‘be injected with the gay-autism.’ The look on Butch’s face was priceless, Drew. It was like the woman completely forgot that she was talking to the dads of the boy.” North chuckled as he got into the car. “The meeting was pretty quiet for a while after that.”
“What about President Helen, I know she can be a cake walk.” York said her name in a bitter tone, she was the least favorite person he had met so far from the PTA meeting.
“She continues to make comments towards Maine and Wash. Poor guys, she just picks on them. I hear she’s called child protective services on them a few time because their kid is a little….violent.” North explained. "She blames Maine for Sigma's issues, apparently."
“Guess we have to see how that goes.” York laughed, “I want to see Wash beat that woman up,”
“I think most of the PTA members want to see that, I think a pool is going for when Wash snaps.”
The drive there to the school was short and because of North, they were five minutes early.
Of course, ready to great them was President Helen herself. “Good to see you this month Drew.” She smiled, it was dripping with sickness and York had to wonder how her teeth weren’t rotten. “Oh! And Michael those cupcakes looks lovely!” she gushed.
“Good to see you too,” he offered back, rolling his eyes at how fake the woman truly was, after a moment as he and North walked to join some of the other parents from the cul-de-sac.
“Evening Gents.” Reggie greeted from against the wall. His husband was in the middle of a heated debate with Ruth, for the third month in a row about how gay-autism was not caused by vaccinations.
The three men could hear Ruth explain to Butch that gay-autism was real and there were thousands of articles about it on google.
“So, I’ve just decided I’m just going to sit back and enjoy the show,” York whispered to North as he found a seat next to Reggie. He was going to enjoy this meeting.
“Oh fine, just sit there,” North shook his head as he removed Butch from Ruth before things got ugly. Butch could say some vulgar things when he got worked up, and those really didn’t need to be said at a meeting where one’s reputation could be so easily tarnished.
As the meeting was about to start David Washington and his very large and intimidating boyfriend walked in.
“HELEN!” Washington yelled, hands crossed over his chest, doing his best to be at the same level of intimidation that Maine was. “FIGHT ME!” the smaller, freckled covered male walked over to the snack table and flipped it over.
"David! What are you doing?" Helen screamed in that shrill voice of hers.
“Helen, no one even likes your sugar-free cupcakes!”
“Washington! I brought those cupcakes!” North yelled, standing up from his seat. He had slaved over them all day-okay, so he went to the grocery store and bought the stupid things, but that didn't mean Wash had to go and flip the table.
“Oh…oh shit…” Washington flushed because he had hyped himself up to flip a table that wasn’t even centered on Helen’s terrible baking.
“Washington, what is this about fighting, and…and is my baking this terrible?” she asked, her voice held hurt, but everyone knew how this act ended.
“You heard me! I..I want to fight you! I wont let you bully myself or Maine anymore. And if you won’t fight me, Maine will fight your husband, Robert!”
“I did not agree to this,” Maine shook his head, “Robert is cool Wash.” The few times that Maine spoke out in public like this, it was usually something like this to disagree with what Washington had stated.
“There will be no fighting, Washington!” Helen was aware that this disturbance was going to cause an uproar and she was right.
“Says you!” Butch stood up now, “Hey Ruth, in my honest homosexual opinion you can go fuck yourself!” he flipped the woman off, “Let’s go cupcake, I’ve been itching to see if you can actually fight or not.”
The PTA meeting went into hysterics because of Washington’s stunt, combined with Butch's rampant and rapid-fire insults, and fights actually broke out.
Butch broke Ruth’s nose.
Carolina had put one of the PTA dad’s into a headlock.
It turned into chaos in a matter of minutes.
York and North removed themselves from the situation as quickly as they could.
“So, I'm glad you made me come to this, it was a lot of fun to watch Washington flip a table.” York teased. “I think next month I want to start the fight.”
“You are not starting any fights! Just get in the car, Drew.” North shook his head.
PTA Meetings just wouldn’t be the same.