Work Text:
Liars.
Mizuki wanted to blame their cynical self for the way they perceived others, but the mass of faceless mannequins that surrounded them on a daily basis never bothered to turn their way and try to understand who they were from deep within.
Their identity. Their secret, if one could even call it that.
The unwavering self that made others, those who promised to stay by Mizuki’s side forever, steer away from them.
Leaving them all alone.
Three years of being in the fashion world, they became a well-known fashion designer who went by the name Amia, yet had to hide their face from the public eye. These were setbacks of being as cynical as Akiyama Mizuki, who experienced lie after lie from people they thought they could trust. They became perfectly content with being in the shadows, unseen, while people revelled in their clothes and wished they could be just like the mysterious designer known as Amia.
It had not been any different for Mizuki, as faces to them were simply a tangled mess of ribbons tied to mannequins. Unable to see anyone’s fake smiles or deceiving eyes.
It’s fine, Mizuki would think. Such visions scared them at first, but they grew used to it. A clear sign that they have simply given up on people.
It’s not like anyone would stick by my side forever.
Being alone had its fair share of benefits.
Mizuki became engrossed in their work, perfecting their craft and dishing out nothing but work that they could be proud of. The whirring of their sewing machine reverberated in the room cluttered with hand-made dresses, accessories, and sketches of their faceless models wearing the very clothes they made. Couture always calmed them, and Mizuki would not hesitate to admit that their particular eye for detail only came from the fact that their otherwise cynical mind was cleared from any distraction.
But with any creative genius came a creative block, or as Mizuki called it, one of their greatest enemies. None of the young designer’s usual tactics of squeezing out ideas worked, and before they knew it, they had been sitting in an almost empty overnight diner with their sketch papers and an array of fabric swatches in various colours, littering the already cramped table.
A sigh escaped their lips as the server handed them their ordered drink.
“Akiyama-san?”
Mizuki looked up. No, they could not recognize the person who served them. As usual, they only saw a bundle of ribbons instead of a face.
“I’m…sorry? D-do I know you…?” Mizuki tried not to be rude, yet their dull, deep voice said otherwise.
The server girl gently tucked her tray under her arm. “We were in the same class together for college! You and I sat next to one another!” She sounded as if she was trying to reprimand Mizuki, but in a joking way. As if, Mizuki assumed, she was treating them like an old friend.
Is this how people usually treat one another? They wondered.
Truthfully, Mizuki had no recollection of their days in college. They simply attended one year that went by in a blur, then dropped out to become a fashion designer with their own abilities. Needless to say, this young woman before her was someone Mizuki definitely did not remember, let alone what class they had been in together.
“Ah…”
“It’s me, Shinonome Ena! Well, I guess you wouldn’t remember, huh? It’s been three years already,” the server continued. She seemingly peeked at the mess of papers and swatches on the table, where she had carefully placed the glass of iced tea. “Doodling clothes as always, huh?”
Mizuki was at a loss, but they supposed a simple conversation like this could be okay. After all, Mizuki knew they would never see Ena after this. “Y-yeah. It helps me calm down,” they replied clumsily.
Ena only kept staring. Mizuki could have sworn that one of the ribbons that made up her face came off, revealing what looked to be a smile.
“You know, your designs? They remind me of a popular designer that’s been getting buzz lately, and one of my personal favourites. Have you heard of Amia?”
Another one of those ribbons undid itself. Mizuki could now see more of Ena’s smile.
Yet Mizuki could not understand why. They still kept their distant front, even while staying true to their identity that had been laid out in the open. They could have sworn that in those few moments, their heart ached.
Ena was showing genuine curiosity. Mizuki did not want to ruin it by talking about themself.
“I’ve…heard of them. The lolita fashion designer whose face isn’t known to the public, right?”
The girl beamed. Mizuki could only read this as being glad. Though their moment could not last, as Ena’s posture immediately straightened up. Remembering they were still on their shift, they scrambled on. “Well, it was nice seeing you again, Akiyama-san!”
Another smile. Another ribbon. This time Mizuki got a peek of Ena’s eyes.
“W-wait, Shinonome-san…!” Mizuki’s mouth moved faster than their mind, and they were unable to stop now. “This isn’t the right place to talk about fashion, so could we, um…. Maybe go out for lunch whenever you’re free?”
Ena agreed to this and hastily exchanged contacts with Mizuki before she got called down by one of her fellow servers. As the brown-haired girl left Mizuki’s side, they began to wonder what made them speak all of a sudden.
Was it the fact that Ena showed genuine interest in what they did, both as her former classmate Akiyama Mizuki and as the mysterious designer Amia? Or was it the fact that deep in Mizuki’s heart, they actually desired for someone to untangle the threads that made them keep their distance from people? Whatever the answer was, however, Mizuki simply knew they could not reveal their true self to Ena, or their spontaneous attempt at finally connecting with someone may backfire.
Perhaps Mizuki should have simply cut themself off before it was too late.
Yet they met. Again and again.
Spending time in cafes and karaoke rooms, talking about fashion and art. Within a few months, Mizuki learned about Ena, who worked as a digital art freelancer on top of her overnight diner job. She had admitted having used Mizuki’s — Amia’s — designs as inspiration for her art, which the young designer felt happy about.
These times suddenly became precious to Mizuki, making it a part of their identity. The ribbons that made up Ena’s face were reduced to a mere hairpiece that held the small braid behind her ear, and for the first time in a while, Mizuki could see a face that was not just a mere mannequin. Ena was now more than a lifeless doll to Mizuki, but someone they could consider a friend.
But Ena was not enough to free Mizuki from the suffocating threads that held them back. Held the truth about them back. Because of this, the more time Mizuki spent with Ena ended up with their future becoming more and more uncertain.
Mizuki was scared to tell her the truth, about them being Amia, and about their gender. All they wanted was to stay with Ena, and throw back anything that could separate them. If they kept it from Ena, they could be together.
Before they knew it, their design sketches which used to be drawn with a faceless model now had Ena’s face. Every single dress Mizuki drew would be modelled by Ena. They were smart enough to know what it meant; their heart started to yearn for Ena, even after all these secrets holding them back. The sheer warmth that Ena gave them just from being friends with them was enough for Mizuki to undeniably fall for the freelancer.
But Mizuki had to remind themself.
Out of all the liars in the world, Akiyama Mizuki was the biggest one of them all.
“If I want to be with you, I can’t part with my secret.”