Chapter Text
His office was dark.
Dark and quiet.
And Fox was alone.
The bandages weren’t bacta infused, just fabric, standard issue bedsheets stripped up for a better use.
Palpatine hadn’t healed him this time, hadn’t used the cold and dark to sew his skin back together like usual, and Fix was sleeping for the first time in days... Fox wasn’t bleeding so badly he couldn’t take care of it himself. Even if every move was agony on his bruises.
Palpatine left him sometimes, after their ‘meetings’, left him to take care of himself, to be a mess rather than leave his office presentable. Fox knew what to expect.
It didn’t make the ping of his comm any less painful.
CC-2224: just made it back to Coruscant, drinks?
Only when he was too inured to go.
Only ever when he was battered and bruised and...
He wasn’t putting his big brother at risk, and if Cody saw Fox like this, he would be. Cody would be too nosy for his own good, too protective and too worried, and he’d get himself killed.
Once upon a time Cody was the person he could confide in no matter what. Even at his lowest on Kamino, when he was shut down and certain he was being replaced by Rex, Cody had been there for Fox, had patched up his wounds and promised things would be better. Cody had saved him, and Fox wanted nothing more than to be saved again.
But he would not get Cody killed, he would not be the reason Cody, his brilliant ori’vod Cody, died.
So Fox closed his comm and sank back against the wall.
His office was dark.
That was fine.
.
Fox stopped his hands shaking with practiced ease, but Ponds was right there, and he couldn’t see, couldn’t know.
Ponds’ general and Palpatine chose their words carefully regarding the next steps of the war.
Ponds was paying attention, watching, holding a datapad for his General and offering it when he needed it.
Fox stood to attention and refused to move.
Refused to let his hands shake.
Ponds.
He was right there.
Blood was pooling in the lip of his bucket against the seal and sticky in his hair.
He could not let Ponds see how injured he was.
So focused on staying upright, Fox almost missed the meeting drawing to a close, and he stopped himself reacting when Palpatine dismissed him too.
He hadn’t thought they were done; he’d thought the Chancellor had wanted to take more, but he was smiling and Ponds was right there and Fox understood.
He would have to say no.
He would have to make sure Ponds couldn’t hear his split lip or strangled throat.
He would have to choose to be alone.
Or choose to put Ponds in a position where he’d be killed.
“Hey, want to go to Dex’s, get a burger?”
“Sorry vod, the Gala needs a lot of extra...”
“Security, of course. You work too hard vod’ika, next time.”
He let Ponds pull him into a hug and squeezed back, hoping his ori’vod didn’t notice his flinch of pain.
He loved his brother.
He watched him walk away and bit his already bleeding lip to stop himself calling out.
.
The med bay was loud.
Loud and chaotic.
It wasn’t surprising, the power had gone out again and three vode were being hand bagged until it came back, the backup generator was struggling to keep the lights on...
The temperature was dropping.
His comm illuminated his face as Fix worked, humming and frowning as he felt around Fox’s orbital bone.
“Yeah, very broken. Big Bitch or one of the lesser Bitches?”
“Amedda actually, slammed me with that stupid staff of his, Palpatine’s orders though. He and the Reds also got a few swings in.”
Fix grumbled under his breath but Fox wasn’t sure exactly what he said.
The notification dropped from the top of the screen.
Wolffe wanted to know if he was free.
The base was in darkness, the temperature dropping minute by minute, Fox’s face was a mess.
He replied that he was busy, he replied next time.
“Bastard.”
“Wolffe’s not...”
“Not him, Palpatine, only letting you get invites when he’s left you like this, leaving you like this. He’s a monster. Least he could do is heal you, though I dread to think what damage evil healing does in the long run.”
“I could do it, I could comm him.”
“You could.”
“I want him here, I want to feel safe again, I want someone to see, to realise, to protect you all, but I can’t do that. He'd be killed. He’d refuse to drop it and get himself and anyone he involved killed and we’d get nothing but more grief. But he's so close, Fix.”
“I know vod, I know.”
The rest of the stitches were administered in silence.
.
Bly was smiling and Fox had been stabbed.
Bly didn’t know Fox had been stabbed, Fox wasn’t planning on telling him.
Not when he was buzzing about how well his campaign had gone, how few losses they’d had, how beautiful and powerful his general had been.
Not when he actually had an open comm line. Palpatine let them have messages when Fox wasn’t free to go out, for invites, but he was actually talking to Bly, Bly was on the comms, his voice, they were talking. Nothing in person, but an open comm line.
For the first time in so so long.
So Fox let him talk as he probed the edges of the wound.
It had missed everything vital, they were good at that, but he was going to need to make sure it didn't get infected or start bleeding. The one perk of lightsabres was that they cauterised, but kriff did it hurt, and he could easily aggravate it into bleeding again if he wasn't careful.
“It’s not fair, she’ll never do anything when there’s a power imbalance between us.”
“No?”
“She’s my general, she doesn’t want that to interfere. But we don’t know how long the war will last, if we’ll both make it, I... what do I do?”
“Tell her that. Talk to her, you’ve always been about communicating.”
“So what, I just tell her I love her, that I don’t want to wait until after the war because I don’t know what we’ll get there, that there will be an after the war. When the wars over, after the war, those aren’t a guarantee. I hate it.”
When the war’s over, after the war. Bly didn’t know how right he was. Palpatine had plans, and Fox didn’t know the details, but he doubted he was making it to the end... and he wasn’t sure he wanted to know what Palpatine’s after was.
But his own upsets shouldn’t bring Bly down, especially not when he was so genuinely in love.
“Then do something, ori’vod. You love her...”
“I do.”
“Then talk to her.”
“I will, I just...”
Fox hissed through his teeth at the sting of the antiseptic.
Why was that worse than the damn wound itself.
“Fox? Are you ok?”
“Sorry, just a flimsicut, because why use datapads when flimsi exists.”
“That’s grim, do they ever let you take a break, you never come out anymore. You're always working, always.”
“Breaks, what are those. There's too much happening on Coruscant for breaks, too many Senators. Too many protests and planning for supply movements and regular criminal activities and... there's a lot going on all year.”
“I wish you’d get time off; get some leave, you always work yourself too hard. You need a break.”
“When the wars over, that’s when I'll get a break.”
“When the wars over...”
.
Fox didn’t know quite when he’d started dreading the 501 st returning to Coruscant, but he knew why.
Anakin kriffing Skywalker.
He knew what Rex said about his General, but that wasn’t the man Fox saw when he visited the Senate. In the Senate he was pushy and rude and superior, and he certainly didn’t see the Guard as people, even if he did see the 501 st that way.
Shoving his way into meetings with the Chancellor, shoving his way out of them, all entitled when he wanted to see his wife not caring that security measures are there for a reason.
Sending vode to the icebox because they refused to leave their posts when he wanted alone time.
Skywalker was a nightmare.
Rex always seemed so sincere when he talked about Skywalker, Cody too, but... but didn’t Fox sound sincere when he talked about working with Palpatine. About how things were fine.
And Skywalker was, what, Palpatine's protégé. Fox wasn’t sure what Palpatine was teaching him, he’d only witnessed a few lessons and he’d kept as silent and still as he could the entire time.
But Fox knew what Palpatine was.
And Palpatine was making sure Skywalker felt comfortable being the same, making sure he felt as though he could do no wrong.
He was already slamming shinies into walls and throwing his weight around to get what he wanted, he hardly needed more encouragement.
But with Skywalker in the Senate building, for his mentor or his wife, typically Fox was too busy to see Rex or be glad he was back.
He never had a chance to check to see if he was safe.
But Rex had Cody, right, and Cody would never let them be in danger if he knew. Nor Wolffe or Ponds or Bly and they all still had each other, so if Skywalker was a problem outside these walls, or a threat, they’d have done something. Palpatine was an untouchable creeping danger, inescapable and unstoppable, Skywalker was not. So Rex’ika was safe.
Fox rubbed his shoulder.
The wounds had been healing until Skywalker had shoved him into a wall. Palpatine had asked not to be disturbed and Fox had been on the door. Skywalker had felt himself above that in his ‘righteous’ anger.
He could go and see Rex, he could go and get food with him. It was only his shoulder and he could lie about that. He could tell Rex anything from tackling a criminal to failing to get something from a high shelf. Rex would believe that, and Fox could make sure he couldn't see the actual wound.
He could go.
He missed his batch so much.
There was absolutely no reason for him not to go.
So why was he hesitating...
.
Fox didn’t know whether to smile or cry.
His batchmates were on planet.
All five of them.
He was injured, badly, and his comms were free.
His batchmates hadn’t commed to see if he wanted to meet up this time.
They’d stopped trying.
They'd stopped trying to come and see him.
Not even bothered to invite him, certain he’d say no.
Palpatine would be overjoyed, so Fox could expect some mocking now. That they didn’t love him anymore, that they didn’t want him in their life anymore. But that meant he might be less inclined to use them as leverage now. If Palpatine thought the rift was large enough, he’d stop threatening them to make Fox do things.
And if they weren’t in his life, they couldn’t see, they wouldn’t be at risk anymore.
They were safe from Palpatine now.
They were safe.
He was alone but they were safe.
.
“So can we agree we’re all incredibly worried about Fox. That we need to do something.”
“We definitely need to do something. I’m sick of the constant ‘next times’ if he responds at all, Fox never used to brush us off. I just want to actually see him.”
“He answered my comm last leave, it was audio only but I didn’t realise how long it had been. He... made it sound like he wouldn’t be able to see us until after the war, but... I don’t know how to explain it, it was more than that, more morose. We'd just been talking about how after the war wasn’t guaranteed, about doing things now because we don’t know if there will be a later and then he said it, it didn’t feel right.”
“At least you got to speak to him. He barely even answers me, he’s never withdrawn like this before. Even on Kamino, even after we lost Buir when it got bad, he wasn’t... I just want to know he’s ok.”
“He’s been getting injured and not telling us.”
“What? Ponds are you sure?”
“Yeah, we don’t always share our injuries. If it wasn’t that bad...”
“We go to medics though. Fox was in a meeting with the Chancellor, he spent that whole meeting holding himself stiffly, I thought maybe he was just tired but there was blood on his armour when I hugged him. The bit I saw was dried but there was red on my armour that I only noticed after I'd left the building, he’d been bleeding, for who knows how long. He was hurt.”
“On the comms, he was hurt. It was audio only, he... he hissed in pain. He said it was a flimsicut, I didn’t want to push him on it but...”
“But he was hiding an injury. Again. Hiding from us.”
“But why? Why is he doing this? What happened?”
“Coruscant is rotten is what happened. He's withdrawn, he’s been avoiding us, he’s hiding injuries... our Fox’ika...”
“What do we do? How do we fix this?”
“We go to Fox. You’re commanders, so you can offer to help with his workload, it can’t all be classified. He can't make it out to us so we go see him. We can drag him to a medic too, if we have to. We have to find out what's wrong.”