Chapter Text
“If I have to jump overboard one more time” I lean over to locate the source of the splashing.
“You lost the round.”
“He is lucky he paid the full amount.” Tying the rope around my waist I climb onto the railing. Once assured of his location I jump after the fool who fell to the siren's call. “Just another day at–”
“Don’t drown too.”
Sirens. An alluring voice reels its prey to their demise. Using human’s desires they become unable to resist temptation, diving to the depths below. Anyone who has traveled by sea has a horror story about these creatures. Whether it be facing death themselves or witnessing a loved one perish. What sirens do to humans that are never found is unknown. One thing is for certain, no one has survived an encounter. It is a risk one takes when venturing out into murky waters. With encounters happening frequently, seafarers searched for protection. With nothing but a barrel and a sign, my best friend and I offered a solution.
“I will never understand how a voice is enough to make someone jump off a boat.” Dumping the man onto the deck I kneel to make sure he is still breathing.
“Neither will I.”
“Thank God we are approaching our destination. Let’s hope that’s the final incident and we won’t have to jump overboard”
A voice as sweet as honey, soothing as a lullaby began chanting promises of bliss filled the night. Snapping my head back down to the water I see the source of the enchanting noise. A creature of grace, elegance and ethereal beauty comes to the surface. For a brief moment our eyes meet and only one thing comes to mind as my blood rushes.
“Shut. The. FUCK. Up. Don’t you have other people to bother? If you do not get away from this ship I won’t hesitate to murder you. Today is not the day and I am not the ONE!” Reaching for the harpoon gun I aim to be ready to fire.
Startled by the outburst, the creature swam away from the ship allowing silence to settle once again. Glancing back, the man had finally come to consciousness.
“Welcome back Fred.” Kiyoko hands him a glass of water as he stares at us.
“Is there something we can help you with?”
“How did you not jump into the water? That siren was saying such wonderful–”
Kiyoko let out a sigh as I started gagging. Cringing at the ‘world’s wonders' the words had been implying. There is a reason we are known as the prized associ-aces among travelers. It’s not everyday you meet someone who is immune to a siren’s call.
In a land where the desire to participate in human mating rituals trumps every other need (even survival). It's only natural for creatures to use this knowledge to their advantage. From the sirens in the vast seas to the succubi and incubi that occupy the lands luring those with urges to their demise. That is why people who have no need for such experiences are essential to the survival of any traveler who finds themselves venturing into these parts. Asexuals, with immunity to hormonal induced craze are also immune to seduction or those attempting to use looks to get their way (should they mention carnal interactions). Less knowledgeable folk try to imply there is something ‘broken’ or ‘fake’ with the blessed beings on the ace spectrum. Though infuriating, they are the ones who are only alive thanks to our disregard (even disgust) with such thorny promises. These fools are also an easy way to earn extra money, such as this baron.
“You lost the wager, we told you no harm would come to you. Now pay us the extra gold for your blasphemous claims.” Smirking, I extend my hand towards the non-believer.
“The price is double of the normal fee! If I refuse?”
“You will be blacklisted and all other guardians will refuse to escort you or any of your associates across such territory. We are aware of who you are as you would not stop bragging about your ‘status’.” Kiyoko rolls their eyes at the man fumbling over his words.
“I cannot afford such a price–”
“Were your claims of ‘endless wealth’ and threats to ‘buy your business’ false?”
“Which you offered to give us if one of us spent a night with you- you absolute pig! We agreed that should we fail and you survived one of us would… spend it .” My fellow ace lets out a cough behind me as I shake my head. “However if no harm came to you as depicted by your watch then you will pay whichever price we choose for your foolishness.”
“I was merely jesting!”
“Let me remind you that the ban will extend to the guardians who operate on land. You will have to venture through the woodlands with no protection against the underworldly creatures you will encounter.”
“Also, you had the audacity to say our immunity was fabricated. ‘That every human felt such primal urges’! Then implied you could show us the fruits in a less than tasteful manner mind you. We should charge you triple the amount for your perverted behavior!” Backing away I reach for a handkerchief cringing at the idiotic baron.
“You cannot be serious, please have mercy–”
“We are. Do not think we didn’t see the gold you brought on board with you. I believe with your behavior and the time you have wasted that triple is indeed in order.” Motioning for Fred to come over with a wave of their hand, Kiyoko begins to walk to our booth along the dock .
“You absolute wenches how dare you!”
“Oi bro who are you talking to like that? That’s not cool, brosky. You better start drinking respect people juice or you will be sorry.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“Don’t make him repeat himself, he may be young but he is certainly strong. The choice is yours, we will expect the payment by the end of the hour. Have fun with Fred!” Snickering, I walk over to the other passengers helping them unpack.
Fred is an odd fellow. One of our longest customers we ever escorted. His wanderlust had landed him in hot water in the past and a notorious reputation. When we offered a ride for a reduced price as a promotion back when we started our business, he was all too happy to try it. His enthusiasm brought customers in as he and his belongings survived his voyage, delivering us credibility. So began our unexpected friendship with the self proclaimed ‘dude bro’ Fred who refuses to travel unless it is with our company. When we grew we debated having him pay full amount as his jumping overboard had us at our wits end. We settled for a slight mark up for every lunge he takes overboard. After all, in addition to his rather unique charm he has grown to be an amazing ally as he traveled with us.
“DUDE! You are being such a downer, now stop being an ass and pay full price. Your fault for totally being an absolute beta bro. I don’t want to have to make you pay.” The baron grips the bags tighter as he leaves the triple fee we placed.
“Thank you for your business. Please make your way to the land guardians as they have been expecting you.”
“I would rather-”
“BRO YOU BETTER WATCH YOUR WORDS!”
“I apologize. Please get him to stop following me. I implore you.”
“We do not pay Fred for his services. He is just merely a long time customer who appreciates us, you’ll have to figure it out yourself unless you wish to pay more.” I sneer at the baron as Fred stares him down.
“Whatever amount it takes. Just get him to leave me alone!” The baron shoves a pouch of coins into my hand which I give to Fred.
“So long mighty Baron of the east, may you not die along the way!”
This is the tale of me and my best friend’s business as aces who protect those who are not immune to the call of a mating ritual.