Work Text:
Long ago...
Orville and William Wright were born in quiet Millville, Indiana. In the middle of the prairies and cornfields, with no trees in sight and only the empty sky above them forever, the brothers became so bored that they and their sister Katharine resorted to increasingly dangerous play to entertain themselves.
Of these, the one that concerns us is what happened when the brothers were 11 and 14 years old. The incident involves a roof, a jump, and somehow, no broken ankles. How?
The Facts:
- Orville climbed up onto the roof.
- Katharine and William cheered him on from where they stood in the yard.
- Orville whooped and climbed further up the roof; for momentum, of course.
- Katharine and William cheered.
- Orville ran down the roof and jumped off the edge, doing a flip.
- Halfway down, all three children realized the stack of hay was not underneath Orville, where it was supposed to be.
- Orville, Katharine, and William screamed.
- Orville…contracted? Shivered? And all of a sudden, he was floating in the air.
- After a pause, Katharine, William, and Orville screamed.
Then what?
Then the obvious happened.
Orville whooped and flew straight up into the air. He kept going straight up until his siblings could no longer see him. On the ground, after they got over their shock, Katharine and William were fuming.
“How come he gets to fly? I want to fly, too!” William grumbled.
Katharine looked at him in alarm, but it was too late. William was already scaling the house.
“This is a bad idea,” Katharine said.
A Series of Events:
- William climbed up to the highest peak of the roof, for maximum momentum.
- On the ground, Katharine frowned.
- William sprinted down the roof and leapt off the side.
- On the ground, Katharine frowned.
- Halfway down, William realized he was in mortal danger and screamed.
- On the ground, Katharine frowned. This time, she rolled her eyes, too.
- William, just like Orville had not even five minutes ago, spontaneously sprouted wings and then hovered in the air.
- On the ground, Katharine sighed and turned to go back inside.
- William cheered and flew up into the vast empty sky to find Orville and punch him.
And now, a brief description of each brother:
WILLIAM
- Older
- Not wiser
- Powers:
- Flight
- Super speed
- Super hearing
- Endurance
ORVILLE
- Younger
- Reckless
- Powers:
- Flight
- Very loud voice
- Navigation skills
- Endurance
Katharine, who is rightfully annoyed.
Fig. 1: A Wright brother with his wings sprouted.
Alas, as cool as the brothers are, they are not infallible.
Remember, they’re 11 and 14. What do 11 and 14 year old boys do?
Well, a lot, but not much of it is responsible.
A SHORT LIST OF THE WRIGHT BROTHERS’ WEAKNESSES:
- Stubborn
- Fight each other a lot
- Zero control over the direction of their flight.
However!
One time,
Katharine’s cat, Prince Hamlet, got stuck in a tree. Why was he stuck in a tree? Well, trees were new in Indiana. This tree had only been planted three years prior, and nobody, least of all Prince Hamlet, knew how to act around it. So up he went, and there he got stuck.
“MEOW!” the cat yowled.
“We are on the way!” the Wright brothers yelled in unison from all the way over in Des Moines, where they were enjoying bagels for breakfast.
Back they flew to Millville, aiming themselves by kicking off a building, and high fived their sister, who stood waiting under the tree. Orville flew up to Prince Hamlet first, but was scratched. Then, William tried, and succeeded. Prince Hamlet was saved!
So as you can see, Steely William and Flappy Orville are very important members of American society.
What would we do without them? What dark place would we be in?
