Chapter Text
EA: Hello, and welcome to our little guide. If you actually took the time to go on Archive Of Our Own to look up this shitty guidebook, then you must truly be in desperate measures.
EA: Let's face it: You're fucked.
EA: You must have ignored all the warnings on the cover and entered the game, and now, you’re completely fucked over and your teammates are probably already dead.
EA: Do not fear, though! My clever assistant and myself have created a quick guide to how to survive the dangerous jungles of Sburbia!
AA: spoiler alert: it won't be quick.
EA: Follow me, and together, we shall explore the various marvels of our universes, and understand their beauty and many dangers!
EA: Let's do this and hopefully, you will survive!
AA: Just kidding, you're going to die. I mean, theoretically everyone will die, eventually, but you will be dying very soon. The only mercy you can hope for is that the death is as quick and painless as possible and that you are revived shortly after.
EA: ^ Yeah what she said.
EA: Anyway you might probably be wondering who the fuck we are.
EA: It's actually a really long story.
EA: So basically we joined a session with like, 4 friends (who pretty much all ended up dying) (Rest in pieces, Thyme) and we *actually* managed to finish the game, but since my friend over here is glitched as fuck
AA: Hey! You're the one who thought the bar-punching was a good idea!
EA: Our session got fucked over and somehow the code for the endgame scenario disappeared
EA: So yeah
EA: We basically do a lot of traveling/surviving
EA: Dominique must have died like... 7 times?
EA: Also our time player died. Anyway, through a fuckton of shenanigans we managed to transfer our medium to a different session. we help other people for a living, I guess.
EA: It's kinda weird.
AA: that time with the jester hat doesn't count.
AA: And by the way, Mahoro has died eight times.
EA: don't be fuckin rude
EA: anyway yeah
EA: I'm Mahoro. Rogue of Light, I really like dogs
EA: The green idiot here is my friend Dominique. She's a Mage of Void.
EA: As you can't see she's not exactly the brightest :p
AA: Last week we ran out of food and he ate a raw potato even though he has fire powers. I am, by comparison, quite sane.
AA: Also, to clarify, we go around and fix sessions that were previously thought unfixable. The horrorterrors already hate us, nothing to lose, you get me?
AA: We'd been helping people for a while but then we thought: 'What about the rest of the annoying twelve year olds that are being killed violently for very good reasons? Who will help them?'
AA: and Mahoro thought of this ridiculous idea as a solution.
AA: (note to self; never play poker with a light player again.)
EA: It's like scooby doo adventures except the monsters are actually trying to kill us
EA: So yeah, we've been in the game for a few years now.
EA: And, I mean, after a while, you're kinda just sitting on your pile of grist like, "what about the other kids? What about the poor children who don't get to eat caviar for dinner every day?" It gets really sad. Seriously.
EA: Also we're kinda being tracked by an army of quasi-omnipotent monsters but heeehhhhhh
AA: so yeah. We're gonna make this into a series, maybe,"you're fucked: a guide to surviving sburb". Let us know what you think!
AA: I don't really care but it's funny to see Mahoro cry when people insult his writing.
EA: I still think that "A guide to not being pathetic" is a better title though haha
AA: look, if you want to fly out into the void while trying not to piss off horrorterrors during your installment of the server that will hold this guide, you can name it. Until then, I get full title rights.
EA: I don't know, wanna play a game of poker for it ^( `~`)^ ?
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You're Fucked! :
A guide to Surviving Sburb not being pathetic
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INDEX:
-FAQ- (OFFLINE)
--- Chapter 1: Time ---
--- Chapter 2: Space ---
--- Chapter 3: Void ---
--- Chapter 4: Light ---
--- Chapter 5: Mind ---
--- Chapter 6: Heart ---
--- Chapter 7: Rage ---
--- Chapter 8: Hope ---
--- Chapter 9: Life ---
--- Chapter 10: Doom ---
--- Chapter 11: Blood ---
--- Chapter 12: Breath ---