Chapter Text
My life with Spock had begun, fresh, wonderful… and very difficult. We were so in love, so – in love – that the first few days had been a torture. I needed to be near him, in physical contact if possible; but we were on duty, and people were curious about us; everybody wanted to know what’s that even like? – and especially that nosey, childish, Captain and best friend of mine, Jim.
Spock was maintaining the T’hy’la bond completely open at all times; we were aware of each other, as if I was wearing a blindfold and I could still tell if he was heading my way or entering the room I was in. I would feel his telepathic fingers probing my mind at times; he was greedy, possessive when it came to my mind. We still melded for hours and hours, we did that even more than we made love. And I did not object. I had grown dependent on sleeping with his fingers on my face. He wanted to know what I was thinking about, how and why; he wanted to know what I was reading, what different medical stuff meant; how did I make specific associations in order to synthesize serums and vaccines; he wanted to know what amused me, what annoyed me, what drove me nuts; he wanted to know all the things I adored.
And I wanted him to know all that. I didn’t have any mental shields, but I was willingly giving him all my thoughts, as if our lives together were a huge mind-meld.
“All I’m sayin’ Bones, is that I wanna hang out with you, you know? With you alone.”
“We’re alone now”, I said.
Spock was in Lab 3 and we were having lunch – meaning, Jim was ingesting large quantities of French fries and I was trying to steal them from him – without much luck. I felt that thirst, that huge longing that tortured me whenever I was away from Spock.
“Bones. Give me my fries back or I’ll stab you with my fork.”
“I’ll stab you with a hypo.”
“Dammit. Okay, fine! I’ll just eat this salad and be heartbroken.”
“Do that.”
“So what do you guys do? You know, where you’re alone.”
“Jim…”
“Aw come on! I’m curious! What’s it like?”
Damn curious kid, makes me roll my eyes.
“It’s… dunno, like before. I’m reading, he’s meditating.”
“Whoa, that sounds boring.”
“Reading is never boring.”
“…says Mr. Triple PhD. So can I come over and play chess with Spock?”
“You’ll have to ask him.”
“But you’re okay with that?”
“I’m okay with whatever he wants.”
“That sounded nasty, Bones. It’s like… he’s the boss?”
“He is.”
“Omaygad, what’s it like!?”
“Jim.”
“What??”
“You’re being a bitch.”
“And you don’t love me anymore.”
As Jim was trying to steal the bowl of fries away from me, I became aware of Spock’s presence in the room. The bond hummed and my soul filled with butterflies. In a few seconds, I felt him near me.
“Captain”, Spock said politely.
“Mister Spock! Good to see you. Perhaps you could assist me in getting my food back from your dear Bones.”
“He could not”, I said.
“I would not dare to interfere”, Spock said. “May I join you, Captain?”
“Oh, sit down already.”
Spock sat down near me and we were both feeling better, the thirst was less tormenting; Jim was talking and talking and I did not even listen; Spock’s physical presence was vital and overwhelming.
Want tea?
Yes, Leonard, please.
I was always pleased when he ate and drank something, because he rarely did and I could not get used to that. I went to the replicator and punched the command for a mug of Vulcan tea and brought it to him. He casually touched my fingers when he took it and the bond lit brightly.
“Thank you, Leonard.”
“Don’t mention it”, I said.
He was talking to Jim about the shift rotation; I retook my place near him; I was not really paying attention. In fact, I was looking at Spock’s fingers curled around the mug. I wanted to be alone with him, in his arms; but there were still full 8 hours until that was possible. I had stayed on the Bridge during Spock’s shift; now he was going to stay in Sickbay during mine. We avoided separation as much as possible although we were now able to endure it for one or two hours.
I loved him. I adored him. He was the essence of my life.
“…right Bones?”
“Right.”
“See, Spock? Even Bones agrees!”
What was I agreeing to? I had no idea.
“Doctor, you cannot possibly agree with the idea that the Captain beams down on Dakala. It is populated by carnivorous animals and the non-photosynthetic plants are equally dangerous.”
“Huh. No. There’s no way any of you is beaming down there. Except me.”
“What?” – they both said in unison.
“I am responsible for sample collecting in dangerous environments.”
“That is not true”, Spock said – and I did not like his dangerous glare – “It is well within my duties as a Science officer” –
“… but not as a First Officer. Your first duty is to the Captain. Dakala is on the edge of Neutral zone. Both of you must be on the Bridge. Regulations. End of story.”
“Is there even such a regulation?? – Jim wanted to know.
“There is”, Spock said on an obviously unhappy tone.
“Since when do you know obscure Starfleet regulations, Bones?”
“There is nothing obscure about Neutral Zone regulations”, I snapped, I was starting to be annoyed.
“Dakala is near, not in the Neutral Zone, so the regulations don’t apply here.”
“That is also correct,” – Spock took Jim’s part.
“You are both being obtuse! If I say it’s dangerous, it’s dangerous and neither of you goes. I’m still the CMO of this bloody ship.”
“Now who’s being obtuse??” – Jim asked, angrily.
Are we actually fighting?
Yes, I believe we are.
Are you upset?
Not at all.
“Not at all??” – I wanted to know, looking into Spock’s eyes.
“Bones, you’re not making any sense now.”
“Yeah, whatever. So it’s settled. Neither you, nor the green-blooded computer here beams on Dakala without my permission. I will note this in the ship’s log.”
Jim rolled his eyes.
“Can’t you do something? You’re his boss after all.” – Jim added with a trace of irony.
“I am not his boss, and I will not do anything, Captain.”
“Some things never change… I’ll be on the Bridge.”
We were alone and I was somehow worried that he was mad at me, but the bond was gleaming brightly and his beautiful eyes were warm. He touched my fingers, gently.
“I hated that!” – I said.
“Why?”
“It’s weird fighting with you.”
“We did this all the time and you always enjoyed it.”
“How do you know that??”
“Leonard…”
“Yeah, okay, okay” – and I smiled. Of course he knew. He knew everything about me. “Anyways, I don’t – I mean, do you know what I mean?”
“I do not.”
“Dammit, you’re not helping me.”
“Certainly not.”
But that Vulcan smile was there, visible just for me.
“I mean, I do not mean any disrespect to you – as my – “
“… as your – what?”
As my –
Dammit. I could just not say that in a loud voice. He had my complete submission but I just could not say the word Master. Luckily I knew he was just teasing me.
“Leonard. If I am ever even slightly upset, you will surely feel it through the bond, I assure you.”
“I would like to kiss you”, I informed him.
He touched my fingers with his and I felt suddenly dizzy.
“…on your mouth.”
“That is – unfortunately – not possible.”
“Boy, you’re a real comfort.”
“I know.”
But that evening when we were finally alone, he kissed me for many hours, with his fingers locked on my face, another hand in my hair, one leg over me – and that was my entire happiness, perfect, warm and bright like the Sun in Georgia.
***
As promised, a new story, sequel to You Are Mine, starts today. I decided to build a story with a plot after all, so I hope you will like it. Each chapter will feature a point of view. As usual, your feedback is much appreciated!