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'This doesn't look quite right…' Ina muttered.
And what an understatement that was, Amelia thought. She'd wanted to take Myth on a nice temporal field trip - just a little gift to show how much she appreciated them - but this definitely wasn't Victorian London. Maybe she should have tested group jumps a little more thoroughly…
They'd arrived under a towering golden statue in the center of a walled plaza, somewhere in the middle of a sprawling modern city. Technology-wise it seemed pretty similar to the cities all of them knew, with noisy traffic, tall skyscrapers and a monorail zooming by overhead, but that was where the resemblance ended. Everything - buildings, vehicles, even the potted shrubbery flanking the paths around them - in and around this quiet plaza was designed in organic curved shapes with regular pairs of protrusions that seemed to serve no purpose beyond decoration, and it all came overwhelmingly in gold and shades of purple. A bit of gray metal and black asphalt here and there, but if it could be painted or colored it looked like…
A takodachi. It's all fucking takodachis. Amelia realized with a start. What kind of bizarro timeline did they just stumble into?
She turned around and raised an eyebrow at the priestess, who seemed to have reached similar conclusions while the others were still taking in this ridiculous timeline.
'So, uh, I have no idea,' Ina pre-empted her questions. 'Except that this world's Ina definitely hasn't been taken over by AO-chan, because this is as far from their style as it gets.'
'Ame? You might want to take a better look at the statue,' Kiara called out from a few dozen meters down the plaza.
Amelia complied, walking over to the phoenix and turning around to look up.
She was not prepared to come face to face with a towering depiction of herself, clad in the same detective outfit she was currently wearing and holding some kind of orb in one outstretched hand with a confident grin.
'What the fuck,' Amelia mumbled as Kiara burst into hysterical laughter at her dumbstruck expression.
'Dude, have you been secretly taking over timelines or something?' Calli asked as the others caught up and got a good look at the golden statue too.
'I wonder,' Amelia mused, somewhat recovering from the surprise. 'There's definitely some less than sane Ames out there, but why the hell would they do everything in Ina's style?'
'Political marriage?' Gura suggested with an impish grin. She was immediately rewarded with a spluttering detective and a deeply blushing priestess. 'Oh, neat. The red goes all the way up your pointy ears.'
'Gura…' the priestess said warningly.
Thankfully, a distraction appeared. 'Guys, we have company,' Amelia said as something moved at the entrance. As it got closer, it resolved into a wave of bouncing takodachis surrounding several of their bigger kin that were carrying… two Inas?
'They're me, but they're also… not?' Ina muttered confusedly. 'Neither carries AO-chan's influence. It does have a presence in this world, but it's far away.'
'They might at least know what's going on here,' Gura shrugged, somehow taking it all in stride.
The tide of takodachis flowed around them as the big ones came to a halt in front to let their riders dismount.
'Hi there! I'm Ninomae Mumei'nis!' the first one said cheerfully, looking exactly like Ina but wearing a leather dress decorated with gears under a light brown cloak.
'And I'm Ninomae Fauna'nis,' the other added, once more looking just like the priestess but this time dressed in a light flower-patterned gown with blue and golden accents.
'What the fuck.' This time it was Calli uttering her surprise, and all three Inas giggled softly as Kiara squealed something about hugging all the takos behind them. A quick glance showed the phoenix and Gura all but buried under the squishy little guys, and very much enjoying that predicament.
At least they're having fun, this jump wasn't a total waste then, Amelia thought, smiling fondly.
'We came as soon as we noticed your presence,' Fauna'nis said, turning towards Ina. 'But how did you end up here, if I may ask? There were no public appearances scheduled today.'
'Uh, she's probably not your Ina. Or any of your Inas,' Amelia said.
The two of them finally took a good look at the detective and promptly froze on the spot. Then they slowly looked up at the statue behind them and finally, almost mechanically, their eyes moved back to Amelia.
'Nice to meet you?' Amelia said awkwardly after a full minute of silent staring.
'Are- are you the real Amelia Watson?', Fauna'nis asked hesitantly.
'Don't know who else I could be,' Amelia replied with an eye roll. This'd better not turn into another cult worshiping her… that 'Messenger of Kronii' affair had been altogether too messy.
'I- I need to tell the other high priestesses!' Mumei'nis yelled, immediately dashing back the way she came, her tako steed forgotten.
'So what happened the last time I was here?' Amelia asked, quickly connecting the dots.
'You don't remember?' Fauna'nis replied confusedly. 'About thirty years ago you blessed the original Ninomae Ina'nis of our world with a divine boon that allowed her to merge with the powers of the Ancient Ones safely. She went on to achieve peaceful world domINAtion, and we've enjoyed an era of prosperity and happiness ever since. Because of that, she swore to never let your memory fade.'
Now it was Amelia's turn to stare as old memories slowly resurfaced, ignoring Calli's not-so-subtle snickering. Wasn't there some dumb fetch quest from Sana back around then? But that turned out to be an elaborate setup for a valentine's gift… which I ended up giving to the wrong Ina because I chickened out with the watch. This world's Ina, apparently.
'Oh, for fuck's sake,' Amelia said with a heavy sigh. 'Really should have known a gift made by the literal embodiment of Chaos would have side effects.'
'So… what happened to the Ame of this world?' Ina asked, a hint of uncertainty in her voice.
'You mean Nyame'nis?' Fauna'nis replied. Seeing three pairs of eyebrows shoot up sharply, she elaborated. 'For some reason her ascension came with some… feline features. Her highness has been quite enamored with her ever since.'
Being Ina's catgirl… that doesn't sound so bad, Amelia mused. No, bad Ame. You've got your own Ina to… maybe confess to before the heat death of the universe. Possibly.
'So are you all immortal or what?' Calli asked. 'I haven't felt a single death since we arrived, and considering we're in the middle of a giant city that's… statistically improbable under normal circumstances.'
'Pretty much,' Fauna'nis shrugged. 'Most of the priestesses were already immortal, and the few that weren't only needed some of AO-chan's power, which we're now all compatible with. As for the takodachis… they just respawn when they get squished.'
'A few overly enthusiastic hugs from Kana'nis proved that very quickly,' she added with a giggle.
'So all these takodachis. Are they converted humans?' Ina demanded in a low and dangerous voice, the light atmosphere evaporating as she suddenly radiated suppressed anger.
'They were human, yes, but we didn't force anyone. You - well, our you - was adamantly opposed to that,' Fauna'nis quickly reassured her. 'They just volunteered in droves when Hololive ascended, and it didn't take long before almost the entire world population joined the tentacult. I hear there's still isolated human settlements out there, but they keep their distance.'
Ina sighed in relief at that, the oppressive aura vanishing as quickly as it appeared. 'I'm glad to hear that,' she replied with a soft smile.
That was kinda hot… no, stay focused dammit! Amelia thought
Then Gura tugged on her sleeve. 'Uh, I think we're about to have more visitors.'
Following the shark's outstretched arm and ignoring the takodachis still perched on it, she saw the entire horizon darken with purple blobs as a veritable tsunami of the little guys appeared between the buildings, led by at least two dozen Inas riding their bigger brothers. No doubt they'd have another barrage of confusing questions and even more confusing answers, but as she looked at the many approaching incarnations of the adorable girl she totally didn't have a massive crush on, a single thought dominated her mind.
Is this what paradise looks like?