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She was sitting on her couch numb, nursing a glass of wine, replaying the events of earlier today. When she felt the earth tilt on its axis, the last shred of hope left her. The moment she found out, she had lost him. She sat there thinking she would never get to tell him how she felt. She decided earlier in the week after her appointment with Dr. Lindstrom that she would tell him how she felt after this op was over. He told her two days that it was almost over. He promised her he would be safe when she asked him to. He broke that promise and shattered her soul.
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She was in the car with Fin on the way to check on a victim when she heard it on the radio.
"Dispatch to all officers, please observe a moment of silence for Detective First Grade Elliot Stabler, Badge Number 6313, who was killed tonight in the line of duty.”
She felt the breath leave her lungs, her heart shattered into a million pieces, and she felt the tears start to fall down her cheeks. Then she hears Fin ask her, "Liv, what can I do?”
"Can you take me home and let Noah stay with you tonight? I think I just need to be alone." She whispered; she didn't even recognize her voice when she heard it; it sounded so broken, hopeless.
"Of course. I'll take you home now, and we can pack a bag for Noah, and I will pick him up from school. I can hold down the fort tomorrow.”
"Thank you," she croaked, the tears silently falling down her cheeks. "I didn't even get to tell him.”
"Tell him what?”
"That I love him, that I've been in love with him for 23 years. I was tired of just being friends, co-workers, and partners, and I wanted it all. I wanted him to meet Noah and become the father figure he deserves. That I wanted to grow old with him. Even though he never believed in soulmates, he is," she chokes back a sob, "was my soulmate, the love of my life. I waited too long, Fin, now he’s gone, and he will never know any of those things."
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She sat there on the couch, crying for what felt like the hundredth time in just a few hours, wondering how she still had any left. Thinking to herself that Lindstrom was wrong, that she may deserve happiness, but in reality, she would never get it with the one man she always wanted it. She had already lost him once. She didn't think she would make it a second time. At least the first time she knew he was alive, this time he was dead, just like Ed. The two men she loved the most are gone, and she is alone. Never going to get the parallel universe he spoke of, and she dreamed of. Someone knocked on her door.
She rolled her eyes, knowing it was Fin coming to check on her even though she just needed time to herself. She slowly got up off the couch and slowly drug her feet to the door, not even checking her peephole. Opening the door, she said, "Fin, I told you I just needed to be alone, right no-" that's when she saw him there. Maybe I've completely lost it now, she thinks to herself. I see his ghost. She stands there looking like she saw a ghost, and perhaps she is, but she is not. He is standing there looking worried, frantic almost, but most importantly, breathing.
He looks up at her and takes in her appearance, the shock written on her face, her eyes bloodshot and puffy, with tears all down her cheeks. He doesn't think he has ever seen her this broken. It breaks his heart, he just found out that Cho called Olivia at her office to inform her that the call was fake, but she wasn't there, so she just left a voicemail. He tried to call her to make sure she knew it was fake, but her phone was off. He quickly left the squad room and rushed across town to make sure she knew he was alive.
As she put her hand over her mouth and let out a sob, he pulled her into a tight hug. "I am so sorry, Liv. I thought the team told you it was fake. I just found out they couldn't reach you." She was still sobbing when he walked them into her apartment, and he just whispered in her ear, "It's okay, I'm here, I'm alive.”
"I th- thought that y- you w- were d- dead" he pulls back, grabs one of her hands, and puts two of her fingers on his carotid, "Feel that, I'm alive" he pulled her back into his chest, and kissed her forehead, and whispered, "I'm here Liv."
After the tears stopped coming, she pulled away from him and moved to sit on the couch, and he followed. He would always follow her. He sat right beside her, facing her. She looked at him, studying his face, taking inventory of the face she thought she would never see alive again, staring into those blue eyes that could see into her soul, the eyes that reminded her of her son. He has his eyes. "I love you.”
"What?" He was surprised to hear this from her; he didn't think he ever would and wanted to make sure he wasn't hallucinating.
"I love you. I was going to tell you after the op was over, and then when I heard that call on the radio, I thought I would never be able to tell you how I felt. How I've felt for 23 years. I love you, Elliot. I don't want to be just friends anymore. I want more, more than partners, more than co-workers, more than friends. I want to be with you. I want you to meet Noah. I want him to know you. I want him to know the Elliot Stabler I know, the wonderful father. I want him to find that in you. I want you to be a role model for him, someone he can look up to. I never had a father; the closest I ever came was Cragen. I didn't have a stable father figure in my life until I was 30 after I needed one. He has an Uncle Fin, an Uncle Sonny, and an Uncle Rafa, but he doesn't have an Elliot Stabler. A father, a protector, someone who would do anything for him and that he knows will love him unconditionally. I want it all, and I want it with you.”
He was smiling so big his bruised cheek hurt. "I want it all too Liv, with you. I meant it when I said I loved you all those months ago. I can't remember a time when I didn't love you.”
She gave him a small smile, let out a shaky breath, and leaned into him, and their lips met for the first time in 23 years, and everything fell into place at that moment. All of her uncertainty fell away, and all of his grief over what had happened between them was lifted. Because she loves him and that was enough, it was always enough for both of them. When they finally pulled away, breathless, she asked, "Do you still not believe in soulmates? Because I've always thought you were mine.”
His lips met her once more, and when they parted, he said, "You made me believe in them, made me believe in a parallel universe.”
She looked into those blue eyes that melted away all of her insecurities about this and said, "This isn't a parallel universe. This is real. Right here, right now in this universe. I love you, Elliot Stabler."
He kissed her forehead, gave her hand a tight squeeze, and said, "I love you too, Olivia Benson.”
On the day she thought her world ended, her biggest dreams came true he loves her too, which is better than any parallel universe. It was real in this universe, in every universe.
He loves her.
She loves him.
They have loved each other for 23 years, 12 together as partners, 10 apart, and 1 reunited. Benson and Stabler, together again, but different this time, but this time was different.
They were together this time.