Chapter Text
A rock flew in a clean arc, whistling slightly as it picked up speed on the way to its target. It struck the dirt with a muffled smack, the crow nearby screaming in surprise and fluttering away. Black eyes narrowed at the empty space, now just a patch of dirt with one medium sized stone and two glossy feathers lying inches away.
Sasuke had perfect aim, he guaranteed it with years of practice, countless trees studded with hundreds of kunai marks. His fingers were striped with long thin scars, tiny white lines that only showed when the sun was bright. All from holding his knives wrong, releasing too soon or too late. Losing focus. They were signs of his efforts, he wasn’t ashamed. A ninja was never ashamed of their hard earned skills.
His eyes moved away from the dirt patch. Crows had no business watching him train. They brought up old memories. Those are dangerous, memories are like hands rising from the graves to hold his ankles. Laughter disappearing into the empty air, dust gathering on shoes.
Hands tightening, Sasuke grit his teeth and pulled another knife from his thigh pack. It didn’t do him any favors to think about things like that. The dead stayed dead. He needed to practice more if he couldn’t even hit a bird with a rock.
The tree above him rustled, the few crows left perching on the branches were ignored. Out of sight, out of mind. Sasuke didn’t have it in him to chase them all away, he just didn’t want to have to see them.
A shaking hand unleashed the next kunai, burying itself far from the bullseye marked on a distant tree. Another knife drawn and thrown. That one was even further from the mark. His hands were trembling worse now. Sasuke felt his palms turning cold and his hair was sticking to his sweaty face. His neck tingled.
With a heavy thump, he sat down. His pants will get dirty. The soil will get glued to his sweaty skin. Stinging eyes dropped to his lap. It didn’t really matter. He’d wash his laundry tonight, in the little creek running through the back of the compound. He’d carry a basket of wet laundry down the silent path between empty houses and hang it all up in his overgrown backyard. Tall wildflowers would brush the edges of his pants as they swayed in the wind.
It’s easy. The weight of the basket and the scrubbing don’t tire him. The chore is easier than letting all the dirt dry, waiting and waiting and realizing there’s no one left to click a tongue at him, no one to scold him for all this mess.
A drop of sweat fell onto his stained pants with a soft patter. A crow above his head croaked. They used to be so bold, back when Shisui could climb into the trees with them. As if the stupid birds saw his smiling face and let it make them brave. Screaming more loudly, dropping from the sky like black darts when someone walked too close to their nest. They stole food right off picnic blankets and on one memorable morning, knocked Shisui’s coffee cup from his hand.
He had whined and thrown a rock at the crow. It hadn’t even gotten close to bird. Itachi was leaning against the side of the house, holding his stomach as he laughed. His own coffee had slowly dripped from the tilted cup he wasn’t paying attention to while enjoying his cousin’s misfortune. That had been what cheered up Shisui in the end. Neither of them got coffee, all was fair.
Sasuke had watched it all from the shade of the porch, sitting cross legged and playing with a jagged stick. The older kids seemed quite silly to him, making a big deal about that nasty brown drink. He’d stick with his juice. Crow summoners were strange, he decided that morning.
Looking upwards, Sasuke made eye contact with one of the birds. Black eyes met black eyes.
“Why are you still here?”
A slow blink, even the wind itself went silent for a moment.
“They’re both gone, there’s no contract keeping you here. Leave.”
Without waiting for an answer, he got to his feet and pushed his hair back with a filthy hand. It came to mind that he needed to drink a glass of water and rest for a bit, if he was feeling okay with talking to birds. He just needed a break. His brain was fried by the heat, or else he wouldn’t have felt so comfortable doing all that.
He was no Shisui. He was no Itachi. Not a summoner, just someone with too many memories attached to something out of his reach. And it was too overwhelming to hold onto all his grief and his hatred every waking minute.
For just a moment under the blistering sun, he let his shoulders droop and remembered the day his cousin lifted him onto his back and led both brothers to the crow nest he found. His chest ached, recalling the soft way Shisui whispered his hellos to the ugly fluffy babies. Like dirty grey cotton balls, Sasuke had told Itachi, who nodded.
Yet weeks passed and suddenly there were two crow summoners in the Uchiha clan and Shisui looked unbelievably proud. “Our dirty cotton balls,” he said with a wide smile, dimples catching the shadows. His arm was thrown around Itachi’s shoulders, who looked pleased with his decision. He would always deny that Shisui had any influence on him but Sasuke could see admiration in his eyes, the same in his own when he watched his two elders.
For just a moment, Sasuke let the crows remind him of his family. His duty was so heavy, surely just one minute of good memories wouldn’t offend his family who waited in the afterlife for justice.
Finally reaching the shade of his house, Sasuke rubbed his hands against this face. Starting from his cheeks, over his precious eyes, up to the edge of his hairline. One two three times, repeating, trying to ease the tight feeling there. When he dropped his hands, he knew he’d have twin red marks on his upper face. No one will see it. Turning back, he noted that even the tree branches were empty now.
What made his eyes sting the most was knowing Shisui would’ve ruffled his hair, seeing him miss the crow with that rock. He would’ve given that dimpled smile that made the whole world feel friendlier and said “I knew you’d get it one day Sasuke. Our dirty cotton balls.”
The wind rustled the trees and no other noise echoed through the maze of his empty family land.
Sasuke kicked off his shoes and entered his house.