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Another day, another portal.
As Time exited the swirling mass of darkness he subtly shook himself, as if to flick off the residual magic.
He wasn't the only one affected by the dark magic; Hyrule was far less subtle in shivering at the feeling and Legend blinked furiously as if bright lights were flashed in his face, eyebrows scrunched up in mild annoyance. Wind was kneeling beside Four, who had promptly tilted over and clutched at his aching head and rolling stomach.
In stark contrast stood Twilight and Warriors, who were already doing a quick sweep of the area to determine any danger. Neither of them have ever had any problem with the portals and were quite comfortable moving between time and space via darker means. Both had gotten used to the dizzying effects of portals during their journeys.
Sky and Wild were just as unaffected, although in their case it was simply a matter of their magic being dormant. Wild held Epona's reins and Sky was quickly trotting over to Wind to offer his assistance with the smith.
Time counts them mentally.
Hyrule, Legend, Four
Twilight, Warriors, Wind
Sky and Wild....
Eight.
Eight?
He counts heads to be sure.
One two three.... Eight again.
Time's pulse quickens.
This time when he counts he lifts his finger and bobs between bodies to be extra sure.
Sky, Wind, Four, Hyrule, Legend, Wild, Twilight, Warriors.
Eight.
"Someone's missing!" Time calls, swiveling around to look at the portal to see if someone else walks through, "Who's missing?"
Warriors reacts in a split second. His eyes pass over every hero, counting heads and metanlly marking them off. Twilight is right behind him, moving around the group and patting each hero on the head to do a literal headcount. Around them, the rest of the heroes all lurch into action, picking up anything they dropped and glancing around to try to find out who was not among them.
Time joined them, mentally running down the list of heroes by age.
Wind - check
Four - check
Hyrule - check
Legend - check
Wild - check
Sky - check
Twilight - check
Warriors - check
That's eight.
Who the hell is missing? Time blanks, failing to conjure up another face.
Oh goddess, He thinks, Not only am I missing one - I'm outright forgetting them!
A hand plants itself firmly on his head, ruffling his hair. Twilight chuckles with relief when Time turns to him and meets Time's stressed eyes with a serene expression.
"Nine," Twilight announces, ruffling his hair playfully as he's known to do to the younger Links, "All present and accounted for."
Warriors exhales and loses that edge in his eyes as he confirms Twilight's count.
"Goddess, Old man," Legend groans, slumping in relief, "How many times have we done this? You still don't know how many of us there are?"
"I know perfectly well there's nine of us," Time insists, still tense. He doesn't see another kid he missed. Who was he missing?
"Then why did you say someone was missing," Four grouches, lowering himself back down to the floor. Getting up suddenly seems to have made his affliction worse and he goes sickly green.
"Because I only count eight!" To be sure, he counts one last time, "I'm still only seeing eight. Captain, where are you seeing nine?"
Warriors blinked at him slowly. And then, "Really? Only eight?"
"Only eight," Time answered seriously.
"Hmm," Wars hummed, considering the elder. There’s something in his expression that rankles Time’s nerves, "Count them for me, if you please."
"One two three four five six seven eight," Time finished, pointing to each kid and ending with a jabbing finger to Wars’ chest on the final count, "Eight, as I said."
Wars glanced at him and, seeing how serious he was, exchanged looks with Twilight, who's expression was bordering on amused. It was jarring to see, since Twilight was usually the one most concerned about the safety of the group. It boiled Time's blood, the flagrant disregard for the safety of whoever was missing, and he turned on his descendant, "Something funny about missing someone, Twilight?"
"Uh," Twilight jerked away at Time’s intensity, but his lips still twitched ever upwards, humor undefeated by his intimidation by Time's glare.
"Nine."
War pokes Time in the chest before Twilight can respond. The captain meets Time’s eyes boldly, full blown smirk on his face, "You forgot yourself."
Time blinks and then stares down at the finger lightly resting on his chest, breathing heavily as his heart struggles to catch up with his brain. Nine.
Wind, Four, Hyrule, Legend, Wild, Sky, Twilight, Warriors....
Time.
Nine.
Relief is fleeting in the reality of eight grinning bokoblins.
"I think his age is finally catching up to him," Hyrule is the first to descend upon his momentary lapse, smiling large and teasing. He loudly whispers this to Legend, who snorts in agreement.
"It's the gray hairs," Legend whispers back, conspiratorial, "I hear those things feed on brain cells. What a tragedy."
Time glowers at them in an attempt to stop the inevitable but it's too late - the rest of them are quick to dogpile.
"Don't worry," Wild teases, "I know for fact that Malon thinks you're pretty. And I'm sure there are plenty of pickle jars to open at the ranch."
"Malon opens her own pickle jars," Time crosses his arms, trying to save his dignity in vain, "This was just a fluke."
"Okay," Wars shrugs with false nonchalance. The captain’s tone is mild, but Time’s face heats up.
"No, really," Time insists, pride bleeding.
"I believe you," Wars agrees in a tone that disagrees with the words, a huge smirk on his face. Time sees the trap Warriors is setting, but he can’t help but trip into it.
“I can though.”
“It's okay, Old Man. Addition isn't for everyone.”
“I know how to add, Wars.”
“Of course you do.” Warriors has mastered the art of passive patronization. Time’s ears go red all the way to the tips as he attempts to defend his mathematical abilities.
“You think that's why he doesn't tell us how old he is? He can’t add up his years?” Twilight asks Legend and Hyrule, deliberately loud enough to be overheard. His smile is sharp and his eyes speak of vengeance for Time’s earlier glare. Time vows to never have children to rectify this.
“Great scott! Rancher, I think you've cracked the code!” Legend laughs. He and Hyrule crowd around the rancher and the sight reminds Time of a particularly horrid murder of crows.
Time can’t help himself, “I know how to do math!”
“Sure you do, Time. It's fine, really,” Wars pats him on the back condescendingly.
“Yeah,” Sky cut in like a shark smelling blood, “I know enough algebra for both of us! Don't sweat it!”
“That's not-” Time sputters, taken off guard by Sky’s betrayal, “I know how to count!”
“Uh huh.” Wars nods.
“No, really! I'll prove it! Ask me a math question!” Thus the hole gets deeper. There’s no coming back from this. Time can feel it. This is going to hang over his head the rest of their journey. He’ll never hear the end of it. But goddess damn it he can’t stop himself!
“Oh, how the mighty fall,” Four grins despite his pale face.
Time glowers down at him, “I don't want to hear that from you - you just puked into the grass.”
“And yet I still have more dignity than you. Say’s quite a bit about this situation, doesn’t it?”
Time can’t help but sulk as the harpies chortle and snicker. Traitors, all of them. He can’t believe he ever thought of them as noble. How quickly respect is lost.
A slight tap on his arm. Time glances down to see the sailor comfortingly patting him.
“It’s okay,” Wind says, “Don’t mind them. I get it.”
His tone and face seem sincere. Time lets himself feel a little bit of hope. Of course Wind wouldn’t let him down - if there is one thing he can count on it’s the Wind would always look up to him, “Thank you, sailor. It's nice to know at least one of you is on my side.”
He glowers at the rest of them, who stare back at him with unrepentant glee.
“Of course I’m on your side,” Wind puffs up his chest.
“Joykill,” Four boos.
“It’s not funny,” Wind turns on him with a very serious face, clearly meaning every word, “Just because someone doesn’t know math doesn’t mean it’s okay to tease them. Tree’s aren’t great at counting, okay? So it’s not fair to make fun of the Old Man for it. Just because he doesn’t know how to add doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve respect, okay?”
Deathly silence.
No one finds the words. Just disbelieving looks and shock. A timer starts at the back of Time’s mind. His insides shrivel and die.
Oh no, He thinks, This is much, much worse.
Wind, oblivious to the ticking time bomb he just set off, turn back to Time’s stunned face, “Just so you know - I don’t care about the math thing at all. Everyone is bad at something, so don’t feel bad about it. I still respect you.”
He’s so earnest it hurts.
Time hears the detonation.
Legend is the first to break. The veteran bends in half, cackling. Hyrule and Wild are fast to join him, tears streaming down their faces. The others just smile wide enough that it must be hurting their faces.
And in the middle of it all, Time stands around the shredded remains of his pride.
“Sailor,” He says mournfully, “I know how to count.”
“You don’t have to lie,” Wind is oblivious to the irrevocable damage he’s done, “You’re still a great hero in my eyes!”
Warriors breaks character. He howls until he wheezes, both in laughter and because of Time's elbow in his diaphragm.