Work Text:
Everyone likes to say that I got really fucked over by Love. And it’s not like they’re wrong precisely but I mean, meh. It could’ve been worse. So much worse.
I was playing a weird ancient game with Apollo and Hermes of all people. They had just been playing by themselves in the park when I glanced over and thought, hey, those two look familiar. And then, of course they look familiar, which other Olympians did I know who would be playing a game of Frisbee at minus temperatures out in the Central Park… Naturally I joined them. I must be at least half as crazy as my boyfriend.
It was almost fun, we were laughing and messing around and Apollo was around so I didn’t even feel the cold winds chilling my skin and even further, as they subtly shifted their pace to accommodate me. Later on, I realized why I didn’t see it coming. Playing with two playful gods, whose domains were the Patron of Athletes and the Protector of Youth? I had gotten caught up in their divine auras. They had unintentionally managed to snare me, captivate me, enchant me. All I could see was the discus, all I could feel was the rush of my blood as I laughed with them.
Hermes and Apollo were quicker though, sharper. One second we were playing and laughing, the next Apollo was turning red and golden, a godly supernova ready to explode and in the split second where I had time to realize that I wasn’t fast enough to close my eyes, I felt Hermes displace the air around me with how fast he moved, the feel of molecules on the moisture and snow around me so distinct and clear as time slowed down, as he slapped his hand around my eyes.
Unlike when mortals cover your eyes and you can peak around them, or see some light or something, Hermes’ hand was firm, strong and huge. I couldn’t see anything, couldn’t even wiggle out and his hand across my face was so tight, so supernaturally hot that I wouldn’t be surprised if he somehow managed to weld his hands across my face somehow, leaving a burning print across my face for the world to gawk at.
Hermes whispered near my ear, his voice barely a hiss, his tone more furious than I had ever heard him. “That ssssnake,” He literally hissed, his voice a serpent’s croon that made me doubt he was still in a human guise behind me, despite his very human hand still covering me. “I willll hunt him down myssselff.”
Apollo snarled, his voice so loud and angry, I felt the shockwaves in the air as he breathed, feel the heat along the tiny hairs of my arms. “That monster,” he screamed so loud the ground shook beneath me.
I admit I was thrown off guard.
For one, I had been abruptly pulled down from the high of playing a divine game with gods, their auras which had been magically boosting me to a natural high now turning me dizzy from their sheer rage. The ground beneath me was melting with Apollo’s rage, a sun going supernova right before me. Everything felt hot and dizzy and wrong, there was a beat in my heart screaming at me to move, a primal part of me that reminded me that for all I had said and done, I was still a mortal caught between two very very angry gods.
This is my boyfriend and his best friend, I try to sternly remind myself. They liked to dance and eat cookies and pop up in the most unexpected places with the sweetest of gifts. They’re nothing to be afraid of.
Despite all my instincts telling me not to draw their attention to myself, my hand shot up to my eyes where Hermes’ hand was blocking it. I tried to move it, but it didn’t even budge a millimeter. “What the- Hermes, let go of me!”
Behind me, he snarled and this time, I froze despite myself, his voice ringing in my ears. He was still breathing heavily, still definitely not human but he seemed to be trying to wrestle control of himself. His hand still didn’t slip past my eyes, didn’t even slacken. They were starting to hurt.
“Don’t move,” he snarled in my ear, angry, defiant and worried. He said it again, this time a lot quieter, a whole lot more desperate. “Don’t move, Percy Jackson. I mean it. And don’t you open your eyes, no matter what happens, no matter what you hear or don’t hear.”
I nodded.
“Can you do something about this, ‘Polo?”
“No can do, Hermes. Love arrows aren’t exactly a disease that I can cure, no matter how disgusting they may be.”
I froze. “Love arrow?” My head was spinning. Had I just been doomed to a cruel insane obsession that would evolve into a Greek tragedy? A footnote on how dumb and disgusting it could get? Apollo, I knew had once chased a nymph to the ends of the world, heartbroken when she had done all in her power to get away, even at the expense of her life. Then there was a Huntress of Artemis with a bear or something, I remember meeting the children of that union once.
My throat felt dry. Suddenly I was in absolutely no hurry to open my eyes. Maybe if Apollo stood right in front of me and I looked at no-one but him?
Feeling my body tense, Hermes patted my shoulder reassuringly even though he was far from relaxed. “Call Aphrodite,” he suggested. “And Dionysus, maybe. Does this count as a mental illness? And um, maybe avoid Poseidon on the way there. When he realizes what’s happened-“
“Yeah, no,” Apollo sounded horrified. “I do not want to be in the blast radius for that explosion. I’ve already earned his ire once this century.”
After a moment’s silence, Hermes said to me, “He’s gone.”
The flashing away was always so distinctive, so bright that I had forgotten it was still mostly silent. I hadn’t heard him leave. I nodded. My heart felt heavy. “What’s going to happen to me?”
His grip on me tightened even more. “Just keep your eyes closed, Percy. Please.”
“They’re closed,” I promised him, even though his hand was still keeping me in place, blind and unmoving. It made me feel trapped despite his best intentions. “So like, it won’t work unless I see someone?”
Hermes seemed reluctant to answer me. “Eyes are the windows to the souls and all that, you remember that right? It is closer to the truth than you assume. You’ll be just fine if you don’t see someone.” I heard the unspoken for now loud and clear.
~
Unsurprisingly, neither Dionysus nor Aphrodite were very helpful. Apparently love arrows were on a league of their own. And Eros was the literal personification of love. Even Aphrodite couldn’t touch that. I just wanted to know why it was always me.
Aphrodite was kind enough to give me a mask though. No eye holes. Practical and fashionable, I thought.
The gods’ reaction was telling though. Apollo sucked in an audible breath of air. “Isn’t that-?”
“Yes,” she said sadly as she stepped away from where she had fastened the mask onto my face. I wasn’t sure how silly I must look with it. But wearing it, I felt stronger, calmer. Not having eyes didn’t seem like much of a problem anymore. I felt elevated, higher, more.
“The mask of Chronus, the primordial of time” she told me. “It’s one of the last heirlooms from the Age of the Protegnoi.”
I carefully touched the mask on my face, opening my eyes to the darkness within. It felt sharp and powerful, antique in a way I could not explain. Chronus, I thought mesmerized. There wasn’t much written about him, I knew from Annabeth when she had been researching on Kronos. The guy was as enigmatic as he was old.
“I don’t understand-“ –why you would give this to me…-how this could possibly help…-what I was supposed to do with it…
“I don’t know,” she admitted, reading my unfinished sentences easily. “I just know I’ve kept it for a long long time, not knowing what to do with it, but it’s yours now. I think you’ll find it a little useful occasionally.”
I had to concede that, it helped me a lot. Even when I didn’t know it.
It gave me courage to do what was necessary, even when it wasn’t right and it gave me a boost in my powers, a spatial awareness around me that helped guide me. But that came later. That moment, I was stuck staring blankly into the darkness of my mask, numb with how fast life had spun out of my control and the direction it had gone.
~
Dad found about the arrow less than a couple hours in.
Apollo was holding onto my hand on the side, calming me, healing me, talking to me; Hermes pacing next to me. I could feel the displacement of the molecules as he stalked angrily, seeming more helpful and more angry on my behalf than I had expected a god to be.
“Did you know you’ve got Vitamin B deficiency?”
“What’s that?”
Apollo patiently explained. Then, “You have a stress injury in your left calf. You really should take better care of yourself.” He healed it all. I have to admit I did feel better, more at home in my own body. Which was when dad arrived in a hurricane of emotions, winds picking up, storm building up in the eye of the place we were in. I could tell it was him by the scent of sea breeze in the air, and a deep connection which had always intrinsically connected me with him since forever.
I felt his hands along my mask, trembling with grief and anger and hurt. “My son,” he said softly. Then turned to Apollo sharply. “What- exactly happened here?” His voice was soft, controlled, but his tone was one I had heard before: the exact one when I had sat on his throne back in the Titan War and he had almost blasted me to pieces for it.
Apollo at my side flinched, abruptly withdrawing his hand from mine. I felt my fake calm vanish with it, but at least I had had time to process it by now. It was well, bad. But all wasn’t lost, not yet. Maybe.
Apollo on his part seemed wary of my father in a way I hadn’t expected. He hadn’t even groveled this much when we had told dad we were dating for the very first time. And boy, had he been nervous for that one. “We tried our best, Uncle- I mean, my Lord. It was all-“ He abruptly shut up. I guess maybe dad shut him up? Life is harder without visual cues. I mean, I could sense movement like the displacement of air around me, but it was something I really really had to focus on. I wasn’t focused all the time. I missed it that time.
“Percy,” his tone was serious, maybe even panicked. “Don’t ever, and I do mean ever, open your eyes. Please. No matter what happens.”
I was startled. “Ever? I mean, what if Apollo-“
“No,” he cut me short before I could even finish my thought. But if I already loved him, surely it wasn’t the worst thing in the world if I stayed in love with him forever?
“Percy,” he sighed. “It’s not exactly a love arrow you’ve been hit with. That would certainly simplify matters. Love is universal after all. I think you could say it's closer to obsession than love in this case. Absolute unrelenting lust and obsession for someone who might just try to take advantage of you, knowing your weakness, if you glance at the wrong person. Or with Apollo, he will then be responsible for you even if he ever falls out of love, knowing you can’t.”
I paused, I certainly didn’t like that idea. And despite Apollo protesting he never would, it wouldn’t be love if I took that step, not anymore. Love has choices. We wouldn’t anymore after that. But then, did that mean I was doomed to be blind till the time someone managed to rip the mask off my face just to take advantage of me?
My head churned, an idea brewing in my head. A stupid idea, but better than none at all, if this did not get resolved soon. For now, I just nodded and let a furious god lead me to the sea for ‘protection’, despite Apollo’s protests. I didn’t protest much then. I was caught off-guard, but I just needed a plan. I had one.
~
If Atlantis was beautiful, I couldn’t see it.
I could only sense the hostility of the millions of her subjects, their blank stares digging holes behind my back, cursing me out in soft but subtle tones. There was a reason why I had never insisted on coming back here, I had understood the reception I would find. Dad adored me. The seas weren’t as forgiving.
The Ancient Rules of Hospitality protected me though.
Poseidon, the master of the house, had invited me and I had accepted so his subjects and his family was honor-bound to treat me with respect. Which they did. They just weren’t happy about it, which made me not happy about it. But for the meantime, I was caught between a rock and a hard place.
Here at least, I won’t be attacked or caught off-guard. Even my blindness was partially offset by the natural focus of the seas around me. I could sense people around me, their gestures and their movements. Not their facial expressions, no, but well, we don’t get everything.
It wasn’t all fun and games though.
I had been in my room, my mask off as I sometimes took it off in the privacy of my room where I was reasonably certain of not seeing any living creature. But it didn’t always stop anyone from barging in. Once or twice it was an accident. I had no doubt that a couple of times it had been deliberate. There were just so many creatures out there, all ready to take advantage of a love-struck hero. They would have way too much ammunition over my father and the gods to bother with pleasantries.
And these accidents were all under the sea. Where I was reasonably protected. I couldn’t stay here forever though. I couldn’t cart my mask around everywhere either. I had to eat, sleep, take a bath. I was still human.
I know my father adored me to the moon and back. He would do anything to not hurt me, to protect me as long as possible. But I wasn’t a damsel in distress in need of a white knight. I had to protect myself. Even if it hurt me.
The undersea forges had a lot of it, it was so hot there. I was drenched in sweat 5 seconds in. I asked Tyson for help. He was sweet and naïve, but more than that, dad wouldn’t punish him for my actions. I couldn’t take the chance with anyone else.
Sure enough, he trotted to me with all I asked for, absolute faith in me, not even questioning what I needed it all for. I almost felt bad for duping him so. But it was necessary. I couldn’t live like this anymore. A zoo animal at an exhibit. A prize to be won. Forever on guard against the light of the day.
So I just extinguished the lights.
I did it in my room, and boy, did it burn. Burning lead hurts everywhere but eyes are so delicate. Gosh, it hurt. So much. But I couldn’t keep my eyes anymore. My eyes to safeguard my heart. A trade, an exchange. Something of equivalent value to be sought in trade.
Dad found me barely ten seconds in, drawn by my screams and my sobbing, my pain a beacon calling him to me insistently. “No, no, no,” he seemed shell-shocked, horrified. I couldn’t blame him. Because when I looked up, there was nothing but two blank holes where my eyes should have been, still sizzling from the heat of the molten lead. I would never see again. But despite the pain, I felt relieved too. At least I was free of the curse. I still couldn’t stop sobbing.
Dad seemed to feel the same, because he dropped on his knees next to me and wailed his sorrow for the world to see. I almost dreaded Apollo’s reaction more.