Chapter Text
It was always Georgia. Why did it have to be fucking Georgia ?
Morgan sighed as the SUVs pulled into the familiar parking lot, killing the engine and slipping out of the car and into the sweltering heat.
‘Honestly, we could have gotten a case for anywhere else, but noooo, we just had to get the case smack bang where Reid was tortured and basically murdered.’
Emily bumped a shoulder against his arm, smirking at his indignant look.
“C’mon ‘Chocolate Thunder’,” She taunted while walking backwards into the station. “We got tortured corpses and dozens of doors for you to kick down.”
“Oh really? That’s how you wanna play?”
Reid passed him with a smirk, cane clicking with every step. “All doors cower in the presence of Derek Morgan. His Door Death count is exactly 420. They know nothing but despair when he’s near.”
Morgan spluttered as the two laughed, throwing his hands in the air.
Bryce looked up when Detective Farraday stood with a grin, rushing to grasp the hand of the stern-looking man who came through the door, a group of people right behind him.
Must be those special FBI agents.
“Agent Hotchner! It’s great to see you again, even under these circumstances.”
He turned to a tall yet thin man with curly, shoulder-length hair with a side bag and cane.
‘Why is an FBI agent with a cane? He doesn’t look like much.’
“Doctor Reid, glad to see you’ve recovered from last time I saw you. It’s been five or so years, correct?”
Bryce blinked. No way was this kid a Doctor.
Reid smiled back. “Five years, seven weeks, three days, twelve hours, and forty-six minutes.”
Farraday eyed the cane curiously. “Is that?...”
Reid shook his head. “Completely unrelated.”
“Ah, glad to know.” Hotchner had a small smile on his face. “You already know Agents Jareau, Morgan, and Prentiss. And this is Agent Rossi.”
Hotchner motioned towards a pretty blonde, a bald dark-skinned man, a stern-looking woman with black hair, and an older man with salt and pepper hair.
Farraday gestured to the cleared-out meeting room. “We got a space cleared out for you, same as last time.”
Hotchner inclined his head. “Thank you.”
Bryce stared up at the pale corpse splayed against the tree with its arms held out like a cross with a grimace.
“Another one dammit.”
He bit his lip and glanced towards the pipe cleaner agent and scowled. ‘How are these guys helping?’
“Oi pipe cleaner! What the hell is so interesting that you won’t even pay attention to the dead person hanging up in the tree?”
He startled and stared at him for a moment, eyes presumably wide behind his sunglasses.
“Well, the dumpsite is just as important as the body itself.”
“And? Are you sure actually needed on this case? You don’t look like much.” He sneered.
The Doctor’s eyebrows jumped before he smirked.
“Is that what you think?”
Bryce frowned. “Yes.”
Reid hummed, fingers tapping along the bird's head of his cane.
“I don’t think my friend SSA Emily Prentiss won’t be pleased to hear that”
Bryce frowned, confused by the way he said it, but then there was Agent Prentiss, eyes concealed by matching sunglasses and a scarily blank expression. She stepped forward, an ominous air surrounding her.
“What the fuck did you just fucking say about him, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to Spencer? Think again, fucker.”
Bryce reared back in surprise, staring at the Agent.
“As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot . The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue.”
Desperately Bryce glanced at the Doctor behind Prentiss, who simply watched with a small smirk and with a quick glance around only revealed the other cops and techs watching with varying degrees of surprise.
Prentiss leaned closer.
“But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.”
With that she leaned back. “Do you understand?”
Bruce squeaked and nodded.
“Yes mommy.” He whimpered.
Prentiss smirked and nodded in satisfaction. “Let’s go, Spencer, we have better things to be doing.”
With that, the two of them walked off, completely at ease like Prentiss just hadn’t verbally flayed Bryce alive.
Later, when the case was solved (thankfully no torture and subsequent dying this time) Spencer and Emily curled up on the plush leather couch on Spencer’s apartment with wine and popcorn, dim lights and a random foreign film playing on the TV.
They were a quarter of the way through the film when Spencer finally spoke up.
“How long did it take you to memorize that whole copypasta?”
Emily shrugged. “Not too long.”
“ Suuure .”
“Oh fuck you too. I defend your honor, and this is the thanks I get?”
“Only the best for the bitch with mommy issues.”
“Says the one with mommy and daddy issues.”
“ Okay , no more wine for you.”
“Wait no Spencer-”