Chapter Text
“She’s dead, Anne.”
They’re in the Plantars’ front yard. The sun is just beginning to rise, casting a soft, grey light over everything.
Sasha stands with her back turned to Anne, leaning on the fence, hands holding it like it’s a lifeline. Anne can see the tension in her back, in the downwards tilt of her head. She takes a deep breath to steady the onslaught of mixed feelings that kept rising ever since she’d been reunited with her…former best friend.
“Maybe to you. But not to me – I know she’s alive. And I’m going to find her, whether you want to come along or not.”
Sasha laughs, and it sounds more like a scoff than anything else. “It doesn’t matter what I want, Anne. You’re lying to yourself because you can’t face – ”
A stray spark of anger lights up in Anne. “No, you’re lying. The way you always have! And now you’ve decided to give up for the first time in your life – on Marcy!”
Sasha turns to her. There’s anger in her eyes – the same one that’s always been there – but there’s also sorrow. Strength. There are new scars on her – one worryingly close to her eye. There’s the way her hair barely reaches her shoulders now, framing her face in messy locks. There’s Marcy’s hairclip, too, holding back blonde strands that were too long.
“Given up?” she says, wounded, furious. “Everything I have done while you were gone – all of it, the rebellion and fights and bleeding – was because I lost her. I lost you. And I couldn’t bring either of you back, but I could make sure that Andrias wouldn’t get away with it. That I would die trying. And I wouldn’t – give – up.”
Anne tastes tears at the back of her throat. She doesn’t know if it’s because of the I lost her or the I lost you. Sasha’s standing closer now, the slight breeze lifting her hair, and in another lifetime, Anne would have reached out and brushed it back.
She clenches her jaw instead. “Well, I’m back now. And we can get Marcy back, too.”
“Are – are you hearing yourself? Didn’t you see what happened? She’s gone, she died where she stood – !”
Blue flames flicker somewhere in Anne’s chest. “You don’t know that! I’d know – I’d know if she was. She’s still there. Why won’t you believe that?”
Sasha looks at her, incredulous. “Why won’t you not believe that?”
Because, Anne thinks, otherwise this is all for nothing. Otherwise, we’d be hurting for the rest of our lives.
“Because,” Anne says, “she’s my friend.”
“She’s my friend too, Anne. And losing her once was hard enough. I’m not going to do it again.”
The sun had risen fully now, the grey giving way to gold.
Sasha begins walking towards, then past her. Anne hears her steps suddenly stop.
“I don’t know what you expected when you came back,” Sasha adds, soft and sharp. “But we won’t get to play the heroes.”
Anne doesn’t respond. A moment later, she hears Sasha continue walking away, her final words lodging themselves in Anne’s lungs.
I’m coming to get you, Marmar, Anne promises. And then we can go home. Together.