Work Text:
I know your voice for filming. It's much different from your usual self: You make your voice louder for when we need to become the Youtube Violin duo, or Violin detectives, or Violin teachers. It’s a performance of an entertainer, which makes sense. It's important you feel comfortable on screen, for the points we present to make it across to the audience.
But most of the time outside of the camera lenses, when it’s just the two of us (or with a few of our friends too), your voice is quieter, smooth like honey, or maybe like a warm blanket enveloping me in its softness.
Especially when you see I’m being nervous, or when I start to panic over any kind of obstacles - either connected to future filming or daily life things. (Like fighting a cockroach. You deal with the cockroach for me, my hero, while I’m hiding in the next room, waiting for rescue. Did I mention I love you for that endlessly?)
You love to tease me a fair amount, joke around as the rest of our friends and fans do, too, but I don’t mind playing along. You know me well enough to see when to pull back and offer a genuine smile or hand on my shoulder to show your support, to steady me when I’m feeling insecure.
You come up to me and your touch and voice manage to soothe all of my worries.
The tenderness of your touch - of your hand on my knee, subtle, under the table and out of eyeshot but so caring, is making me weak everytime. I treasure that, yearn and pine for more, for all the glimpses of you that I’m allowed to have.
Sometimes, nowadays more often, your calmness carries over into the filming.
When one of our phones announces a new message, so we pause the movie we’re reviewing (roasting) , you check the message and tell me with a smile on your lips that it’s a confirmation of a collaboration we began to put together, or other times a meme from a friend, so we laugh about it together while resuming the movie.
In moments like that, the camera and microphone can catch a glimpse of this calmness in your tone, a quiet satisfaction that is usually not there anymore when you passionately explain proper violin techniques or point out mistakes of yet another non musician actor.
The softer tone of your voice goes hand in hand with how you look at the world as well. It's in the way your smile gets bigger, settles into your eyes and relaxes your whole face. The crows' feet behind your glasses decorate the whole picture when you smile blindingly like that.
When you look my way, you don't rush to turn back to face the camera as much anymore. Instead your eyes slow down to wait for mine to meet them, expectantly and in the gentlest way to communicate your thoughts. In those few brief seconds we discuss what feels like all the matters of the universe.
It makes me so happy, you have no idea, to see you looking at me this way. I hope, you're not doing that just for me (after I asked you if my stares make you uncomfortable, and you rushed to assure me you didn't mind, you like the way I’m looking at you. That's good, because I like looking your way, and with you permission I will keep doing that. Seeing you any time of the day makes everything better, in my opinion.).
So I hope you're doing that for yourself as well. That you feel comfortable enough in yourself now, and with us being more, that you allow yourself to take what you want, when you need. And I will be beside you to offer you the same comfort you give each and every day to me since the day we met.