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Chuuya tossed Dazai a helmet. Dazai tossed it right back.
Chuuya made an exasperated noise. A common side effect of long term exposure to Dazai. “Either you wear the helmet or you don’t directly touch me while we’re on the bike, and we both know you can’t keep your hands to yourself. Put the helmet on.”
“Or I could do neither of those things,” Dazai said cheerily. Then he tilted his head to the side slightly, “Unless you think your driving is that bad?”
Chuuya scowled slightly, “My driving is perfectly fine. I’m just not stupid.”
Dazai knew full well that Chuuya was good with his bike, though prone to speeding and fond of risky maneuvers since he could use his gravity manipulation to keep himself safe. Unfortunately for Chuuya, that wouldn’t stop Dazai.
He pat Chuuya on the shoulder condescendingly. “It’s alright if Chuuya is a bad driver. Suicide by motorcycle crash could be interesting.”
Chuuya swatted his hand away.
“I don’t share your death wish, mackerel. I’m not letting you die on my bike. She deserves better than that.”
Sensing that Chuuya wasn’t going to give in, Dazai decided to move into phase 2 of Getting Chuuya to Do What Dazai Wants: whining.
(phase 1 was goading him into it. phase 2 was annoying him into it, and nothing got Chuuya annoyed faster than Dazai whining. phase 3 was sex(in an ‘I’ll do this sexual act you like that we don’t do very often if you do x’ way, not a manipulating the emotional intimacy of sex way. just as there are things Dazai can only do with Chuuya there are also things Dazai does not do to Chuuya). phase 4 was an insufferable combination of phases 1 and 2 that irritated not just Chuuya but anyone within hearing range. phase 5 was having a genuine conversation about it and offering a compromise. Dazai did everything possible to avoid phase 5)
Dazai started his whining off with a classic “Chuuuuya!”
Chuuya instantly looked ready to kick him.
Dazai continued “That was a really mean thing to say. You should make it up to me by not forcing me to wear a helmet.”
“No.” Chuuya shoved the helmet into Dazai’s arms. “Put the damn helmet on and shut up. Let’s get going before you’re late.”
Silly Chuuya. Dazai was going to be late no matter what. He had intentionally told Chuuya he needed to be there by a time that was 20 minutes past the actual meet up time; Chuuya liked to get places a bit early, usually about 10 minutes early for casual events, so they’d be there about 10 minutes past the actual time. This was both to maximize the audience for their arrival and because Dazai refused to be on time to anything ever on principle. Kunikida frequently referred to him as allergic to punctuality.
Dazai had recently decided he was comfortable with making his relationship known to the agency. Back closer to when they had started dating again Dazai had been strongly against the idea of anyone knowing about the two of them, not willing to risk complications when he was finally back together with Chuuya after four years apart. As time had passed he’d grown more amicable to the idea, as had Chuuya. However, just because he was no longer taking precautions to keep the ADA from knowing didn’t mean he was actively telling them. Recently Dazai had finally reached the point where he wanted his coworkers(read: friends) to know. Luckily an easy opportunity for his reveal happened within a week of his decision so he didn’t have to start pulling any strings to create one. He hadn’t even been the one to suggest they take separate transportation to their Monthly ADA Bonding Experience(as Kunikida called it). Yosano had asked Ranpo if he wanted to split the fare for a taxi rather than take the train from the dorms, prompting the group to choose various methods of transportation and allowing Dazai to state he had his own ride.
“You feeling alright, Dazai? You better not throw up while on my bike.”
Dazai’s attention snapped back to the situation at hand. Chuuya. Chuuya’s bike. Chuuya’s spare helmet in Dazai’s hands. Dazai had accidentally gone silent right after Chuuya told him to shut up, something so strange to Chuuya it became mildly concerning. Whoops. Maybe he’d be extra annoying later to make up for it.
“If you consider being trapped in this mortal coil alright, then yes.”
Chuuya rolled his eyes but seemed reassured. “Most people consider being alive to be a good thing. Now put your helmet on already.”
Dazai finally put on the helmet Chuuya had given him and waited for Chuuya to straddle the bike first before climbing on behind him. He snaked his arms around Chuuya’s waist, sliding one hand up his torso to grip his pec and the other down to grab his well muscled thigh. Dazai loved riding on Chuuya’s bike, it gave him a great excuse to feel Chuuya up. Unfortunately Chuuya disagreed. He always made him stop before they actually hit the road.
“Oi!” Chuuya smacked one of Dazai’s hands, “Hold on properly, idiot.”
“I am! This is the way that makes me feel most safe.”
Chuuya turned to glare at Dazai over his shoulder. Dazai couldn’t actually see Chuuya’s face through the dark visor of his helmet, but he knew exactly what expression Chuuya was making. Dazai grinned back at him. Chuuya threateningly squeezed the hand Dazai had on his thigh. Clearly he didn’t need to see Dazai’s face to sense his shit-eating grin. Dazai pouted but relocated his arms to actually wrap around Chuuya’s waist. Chuuya muttered a thank you and turned the key in the ignition. Dazai could both hear and feel the motorcycle’s engine roar to life. Chuuya took good care of his bike and it showed.
The ride to the meeting place the ADA had agreed upon was enjoyable, as riding with Chuuya tended to be. They wove in and out of traffic, going at least fifteen mph(~24 kph) over the speed limit at any given time. Dazai squeezed Chuuya every time they took a sharp turn, which happened to be almost every turn. He wasn’t scared, something Chuuya knew full well, he just liked doing it. Dazai did this every time he rode with Chuuya, who always complained afterwards about his vice grip but never made good on his threats to never let Dazai ride with him again.
As they drove down the final blocks to their destination Dazai felt more anticipatory than anxious. He expected it to be an entertaining experience. He wasn’t worried about what would happen. The reason he could do this in the first place was because it wouldn’t create any serious problems for himself or Chuuya.
As soon as the bike made the final turn of their route Dazai could immediately spot the agency. They were a large enough group with distinct enough looks to be recognizable. The members were standing together near the entrance of where they planned to go. This part of Yokohama was neither overly busy nor vacant, which worked just fine for Dazai. That meant he could discard his plans for in case the area was too crowded for Chuuya to pull up near Dazai’s coworkers. Dazai was almost tempted to ask Chuuya to rev his motorcycle as they approached, but only insecure assholes rev their engines like that and that was definitely not how Dazai wanted Chuuya’s first (nonviolent) interaction with the ADA to start.
Chuuya killed their speed quickly, almost dramatically as they pulled up to the curb. Exactly the type of entrance Dazai had been hoping for. Before they came to a complete stop they already had the eyes of the entire group on them. Excellent. Chuuya put a leg down to steady the now stopped bike and cut the engine off.
The agency was nearly silent but Dazai could practically feel the questions radiating off their faces. For maximum effect he removed his helmet while still sitting on the bike. He kept his expression neutral and shook his hair out, subtly watching his friends’ reactions. The confirmation that it was indeed Dazai riding passenger on the bike seemed to create several more questions than it answered.
Dazai passed his helmet to Chuuya, who rested it on his thigh and laid his arm across it, his other hand remaining on the bike’s handlebar. Dazai put his hands back on Chuuya, this time grabbing his shoulders to help himself off the bike. He didn’t necessarily need the help balancing, but he would never pass up an opportunity to put his hands on Chuuya. Especially for the display he planned for this to be. Dazai really didn’t keep his hands to himself in general when it came to Chuuya. Not that Chuuya was much better. Nakahara Chuuya: Port Mafia executive and fearsome cuddle monster. Chuuya was also a master at the arm wrapped around your lower back with a hand gripping your hip type of pda. Unlike Dazai, Chuuya was classy when he felt handsy. As someone who felt little to no shame, Dazai didn’t see the point in conforming to the public’s definition of classy. He personally felt it should be considered classy for him to use Chuuya’s lap as a seat in any and all public settings, but sadly both Chuuya and the public frowned upon that. Admittedly, Chuuya did let him get away with quite a lot of bold pda, not that that stopped Dazai from complaining.
Once Dazai climbed off, Chuuya strapped the extra helmet down on the back of the bike. It wasn’t designed to have a storage compartment large enough for a helmet and Chuuya never let Dazai keep it with him even if Chuuya was going to pick him up later. This was supposedly because ‘You’ll probably lose it, and if you don’t you’ll let people assume you drive a motorcycle and use it to flirt, you shameless bastard.’
Dazai straightened up and turned to face the others, brushing nonexistent dirt off his coat.
“I’m here,” he announced, as if there was a single agency member present unaware of his arrival. Before he could be fully hit with their barrage of questions he turned back to Chuuya and lightly tapped the side of his helmet twice. Chuuya took the cue for what it was and removed his helmet. Dazai wasn’t the only one willing for their relationship to be public. Chuuya had likely guessed from the start that the event he was dropping Dazai off at was ADA related. It’s not like Dazai had friends elsewhere.
Dazai allowed for his coworkers to get a solid look at Chuuya in all of his leather jacket wearing, motorcycle straddling, hot as hell glory, then cupped Chuuya’s cheek as he leaned down to press a firm kiss to his lips. It wasn’t anything too indecent, but it was several seconds long and Dazai couldn’t resist moving his lips against Chuuya’s. Luckily for Dazai, Chuuya didn’t seem to mind that it was more than just a peck. It was definitely enough to make it clear what the nature of their relationship was.
When Dazai pulled back he continued ignoring the questions that were starting to spill forth from the agency members once again and pat Chuuya on the head twice. “Chibikko looks so small without his hat. Maybe that’s why he wears that ugly thing all the time.”
He didn’t even try to dodge the slap to the arm he earned for that.
“You want me to pick you up in a few hours, right?” Chuuya confirmed.
“Yep. I’ll text you when we’re wrapping things up. Oh, before I forget to ask, are we eating at home tonight?” Home as in Chuuya’s fancy apartment, because why would Dazai choose to live in the agency’s dorms when he could stay at his boyfriend’s place and not only sleep in the same bed as him every night, but also have easy access to his near endless hot water, amazing water pressure, and his easy to sabotage hair care products.
Chuuya matched the volume Dazai had spoken in, answering clearly enough for the whole group to hear. “Yeah, I’m going to pick up a few things we’re out of from the store and then I have a recipe I want to try.” Before Dazai could even open his mouth Chuuya continued “I’ll cook some crab you can put in yours.”
Dazai smiled brightly and pecked Chuuya on the cheek. “Chuuya is the best cook.”
Chuuya rolled his eyes but there was a small smile on his face as he replied.
“You only ever say that when I make something with crab.”
“Every good chef should know the importance of crab.”
Dazai turned to the agency once more, throwing a wave and a “See you later, hatrack” over his shoulder as if he expected Chuuya to drive off any second. In accordance with what he actually expected, Chuuya stayed put, knowing that Dazai was only acting as if he wasn’t going to introduce Chuuya to his friends.
“Dazai,” Kunikida began, pushing his glasses up in the way he did so frequently but especially when establishing a new conversation topic, “Care to introduce us to your friend?”
Dazai found it amusing that Kunikida said that as if he didn’t recognize exactly who was on that bike. And like Dazai hadn’t just made it very clear they were more than friends.
The question was more a prompt than a genuine question but Dazai answered it literally anyway. “Hmm, I don’t think I do.”
Kunikida scowled but before he could berate Dazai for purposefully misinterpreting him another voice introjected first.
“Oi, don’t be a pain in the ass.”
Dazai turned halfway towards Chuuya and grinned, “Aw, but Chuuya! You like—“
“I want you to remember that I’m the one that controls whether your dinner has crab before you finish that sentence.”
Dazai mimed zipping his lips shut.
“My esteemed colleagues, this,” Dazai gestured broadly towards Chuuya with one hand, “is Nakahara Chuuya.”
Chuuya dipped his head in greeting and made eye contact with several members of the agency. He probably would’ve tipped his hat had he been wearing it.
“Call me Chuuya. Nice to meet you all.”
There was a moment of silence. Then the chaos began.
“Isn’t he a Port Mafia executive!?” That was Atsushi.
“He’s in the mafia!” Tanizaki. It seemed fitting that the comments about Chuuya’s mafia affiliation were both first and the loudest. Their concern certainly wasn’t without reason.
“You definitely did not fill out the paperwork for living somewhere other than the agency dorms!” Kunikida accused him. Of course. Because who else would be concerned about paperwork at a time like this. He was right though.
“Why isn’t Mr. Fancy Hat wearing his hat?” That one was Kenji, who apparently thought Chuuya could wear his hat under a helmet.
“I can’t believe you found someone willing to put up with you.” Yosano. Dazai petulantly stuck his tongue out at her for that.
A few other things were said but Dazai couldn’t quite catch them amidst all the noise. Although he was pretty sure he heard Naomi’s voice asking if he and Chuuya were related. Ew. Dazai wouldn’t even bother to respond to that.
Dazai put his hands up as if surrendering. “Alright, alright. Give me a second and I’ll answer your questions.” Once the group quieted down, he continued, “To address the primary concern. Yes, Chuuya is an executive in the Port Mafia. No, I am not returning to the mafia. Our relationship will not effect our loyalties.”
Atsushi, though still slightly wary, seemed sufficiently appeased by that, unlike Kunikida who was still glaring at Dazai between glances at Chuuya. But maybe that was because of the paperwork Dazai had chosen to ignore.
In what appeared to be a merciful attempt to dispel some of the awkwardness, Atsushi asked “so how long have you two been together?”
“7 years.”
“5 months.”
Dazai and Chuuya turned to look at each other.
Chuuya raised an eyebrow. “It has not been 7 years.”
Dazai shrugged. “7 years, on and off again relationship.”
Chuuya scoffed. “Dating for 3 years then being apart for 4 years before getting back together again absolutely does not count as an on again off again relationship.”
Dazai put a hand over his heart as he proclaimed “But my heart was with Chuuya the whole time!”
“Shut up, mackerel.” Chuuya shoved him, but it was a half hearted push at best.
Dazai ignored Atsushi’s mumble of “Sorry I even asked.”
“Moving on!” Dazai clapped his hands. “To answer the second most important question: Chuuya isn’t wearing his ugly hat because it can’t fit under his motorcycle helmet.”
Dazai enjoyed Chuuya’s grumble of “It’s not ugly,” but paid it no mind.
“Next question! Ask away.”
It was Kunikida who spoke next. “Are you two on the same house register? If so there is some spousal paperwork you’ll need to fill out, in addition to the living quarters document.”
Dazai chucked softly, “What a boring way to ask how we label our relationship. No, we aren’t married.”
“We’re partners,” provided Chuuya, his tone making it clear that Kunikida might be the work partner these days but Chuuya was the life partner.
“You know you’re allowed to ask non-paperwork related questions, right?”
Kunikida reacted to Dazai’s teasing by aggressively crossing his arms and blustering a response about ‘just thinking practically since we all know you won’t.’
It was with a twinkle in his eye that Ranpo spoke up. “So when did you guys get together again?”
Ranpo, being Ranpo, knew full well when they had sorted their shit out. The fact that he was asking meant he wanted Dazai to say it, either because it would be funny or the reaction it earned would be funny, or possibly even because Ranpo already had something he planned to say in response.
“The day after the whole ordeal with Shibusawa went down.”
Ranpo smiled. “Oh, you mean the day after you let yourself get stabbed with a poison knife because you had that much faith that Chuuya would not only believe you were still alive and fight a dragon, despite knowing that if you were actually dead he would die too, but manage to find you while in a state where normally he can’t think about anything but causing destruction?”
“Yeah,” Dazai returned Ranpo’s smile, his expression a blatant challenge of ‘yeah, we’re like that. Got anything to say about it?’ “That day.”
“Oh, so you’re both that crazy,” said Atsushi, seeming utterly done them already.
“We weren’t being crazy or reckless. It’s called having trust,” Chuuya defended.
“Don’t worry, Atsushi,” said Dazai in faux consolation. “Perhaps one day you too will have this level of trust with Akutagawa.”
“With Akutagawa?!”
Atsushi waved both arms in front of himself frantically, “No way! I don’t think that’s possible. I’ve barely gotten him to stop trying to kill me as soon as he sees me. I think you’re all kind of crazy. No offense, Dazai-san,” Atsushi looked over at Chuuya, “And Chuuya-san.”
“You hear that, Chuuya? We’re both crazy. Twinsies!” Dazai said while wiggling the fingers of one hand at Chuuya.
Chuuya pushed his hand down. “Idiot, don’t say that, we’re dating.”
“Maybe I just wanted to hear Chuuya say that we’re dating, hm?”
Chuuya sighed, intertwining Dazai’s hand with his own. “You really couldn’t think of any other way to get that?”
“Oh, I could, but this way made you do that funny ‘I can’t believe I’m dating you’ sigh.”
Chuuya did the ‘I can’t believe I’m dating you’ sigh again. “For some reason that doesn’t surprise me.”
Dazai decided he would entertain a few more questions then send Chuuya on his way. Less is more, always leave your audience wanting.
“Final questions, please. The Chibi Chuuya Circus will be packing up shortly.”
“Shut the fuck up, you bastard! The audacity you have to say that as if you aren’t an absolute clown.”
Dazai danced out of reach from where Chuuya sat on the bike, but wasn’t quite quick enough to dodge the small piece of trash Chuuya sent flying towards his back with his ability. Dazai evaluated Chuuya’s expression and deemed the risk of another attack low. He returned to his previous position near the bike.
“Chuuya,” Yosano began, “Could you get me the number of that hot ginger executive? Not you, obviously, the taller one. Wears traditional clothing, carries a parasol and a sword, that one.”
“First of all, she’s not that much taller. Secondly, her name is Kouyou and if you get me a bottle of decent wine I’ll give you her number.”
“Deal.” Yosano whipped her phone out and quickly typed something. “Would you prefer Bordeaux or Chardonnay?”
“Bordeaux, if you could.”
Yosano nodded and tapped the screen a few more times. “In 3-5 business days I’m getting that number.”
Dazai was watching Yosano busy herself with her phone when Chuuya’s hand grabbing his jacket sleeve stole his attention. Once Dazai turned to him Chuuya spoke quietly.
“How long have you been waiting for a chance to show me off, huh?”
“Not that long, Chuuya. Under two weeks.”
“Are you the reason the agency didn’t travel together to get here in the first place?”
Dazai gasped silently, sending Chuuya a dramatic look of betrayal. “How dare you accuse me of meddling. It was Ranpo and Yosano’s idea, I simply went along with it.”
Chuuya chuckled lightly. His eyes wandered over the others as they talked amongst themselves, not staring at Chuuya and Dazai but still keeping an eye out in case they did anything interesting. Chuuya barely glanced at him when he told Dazai “You know you’re a possessive bastard, right?”
“Of course. I would never claim to be anything else.”
Chuuya gave him a look that showed just how strongly he disagreed with that claim, but didn’t say anything to contradict him. He looked over at the group of agency members nearby and watched them for a few seconds. Then his face morphed into a grin, a wild thing full of mischief, and he turned his attention back to Dazai. Dazai didn’t know exactly what Chuuya was thinking, but he knew Chuuya had just gotten an idea.
“You’re lucky I’m possessive too.”
That was all the warning Dazai got before Chuuya grabbed him by his jacket collar and pulled him down into another kiss. A very thorough, not appropriate for a public setting kiss. Dazai immediately reciprocated, resting one hand on Chuuya’s leather clad shoulder and cupping his jaw with the other. He hadn’t expected Chuuya to initiate his own display of public affection, much less one this bold, but he certainly wasn’t averse to the heavy kiss. Dazai probably should’ve expected this. Sometimes he forgot that just because Chuuya wasn’t usually quite as possessive as Dazai was didn’t mean he wasn’t possessive. And that Chuuya could be just as much of a menace to the public when he felt like it.
Chuuya was the one to break the kiss, leaning back slightly but maintaining his grip on Dazai’s jacket and stage whispering loud enough for the detectives closest to hear, “Pick out a nice red from that store down the block before I come to get you and maybe my bike won’t be the only thing you get to ride.”
‘That was so cheesy,’ was Dazai’s first thought. It was quickly overridden with ‘Chuuya is so hot.’ Dazai loved when Chuuya got possessive. Chuuya didn’t normally use as bold of lines as that, he preferred to use a bit more subtly when they were in public. However, Chuuya did occasionally bust out things like that when he felt like capitalizing on how unexpected they would be in public. Or like making sure Dazai’s friends and coworkers knew exactly what Chuuya was referencing. It was an admittedly corny line, but to Dazai that paled in comparison to what it promised.
Dazai pressed the back of his hand against his forehead and pretended to swoon. “When you put it like that I can hardly say no. Chibi really knows how to charm a man.”
“Good. I’ve known you too many years to not know how to charm you by now.” Chuuya smiled at him then pushed up his sleeve slightly to check the expensive watch he had picked out for the day. “Alright, I’ve gotta get going.”
He grabbed Dazai’s hand and subtly tapped out a message on the back of his hand in the code system they’d created when they were younger. I love you. Dazai gently twisted his hand in Chuuya’s grip to tap out his reply. I love you too. This was for them only, not anybody watching. The others didn’t need to hear it.
“Remember to text me, Osamu.”
With those parting words Chuuya finally put his helmet back on and started his motorcycle. He briefly checked the traffic and waved goodbye before pulling out onto the street. Dazai watched until he disappeared from sight. Here Dazai had been peppering in his usual affectionate(annoying) nicknames for Chuuya the entire time and Chuuya had simply waited until the very end to drop his given name. It left both Dazai and his friends a little stunned. Chuuya didn’t use his given name often, even at home, so it still made Dazai’s heart do a tiny irritating fluttery thing, plus everyone at the agency knew full well that none of them called Dazai by his given name. First that kiss, then the blatantly innuendo filled flirting, and now dropping his given name; Chuuya truly aimed to excel at everything he did, which in this case was making a public claim on Dazai. Dazai fucking loved when Chuuya acted out a little in public, he was definitely buying him a nice red wine and jumping his bones as soon as they got home later. He would even be so nice as to bring him back an actual wine bottle instead of a boxed wine.
Dazai shoved his hands in his pockets and turned to face the others. “Everybody ready to go? I heard this place has a great selection of grilled dishes.”
Atsushi gave him a look of disbelief. “Are we not going to talk about any of that?”
“What, can you not walk and talk, Atsushi-kun?” He began to walk towards the restaurant’s entrance. Atsushi trailed after him like an awkward duckling. The rest of the group followed as well, though unfortunately they did not get in a line to also become his ducklings. “And what is there to talk about? It’s just Chuuya. Unless you wanted to discuss his abysmal fashion sense?”
“Um, I think I’ll pass.”
Dazai turned around and stopped suddenly, causing Atsushi to bump into his chest. Atsushi took a step back while rubbing his nose.
“Hm, for some reason I thought you’d say that.” He booped Atsushi on the nose before starting to walk towards the restaurant door once more. Atsushi attempted to look at his nose in confusion but only succeeded in crossing his eyes. He shook his head briefly and was about to follow Dazai when the man called over his shoulder “Come along my little duckling! If you’re lucky they’ll have chazuke.”
Atsushi asked “Why am I a duckling?” as he
followed. Dazai only chuckled in response. His apprentice was so cute.
Dazai hummed a little tune as he opened the door and held it for the others, except for Kunikida who he attempted to close it on. He gave it a 40% chance he got bored enough to do something that would get himself get kicked out. Bonus entertainment if he could get some of the others kicked out with him. He was going to spend this whole meal dodging questions about his relationship. Even the tiny ones. He had to maintain his air of mystery somehow.
Dazai was unimpressed by the wine selection he saw behind the bar as they walked past. Chuuya would probably walk right back out if he entered a restaurant and saw a wine selection like that. Dazai would try to charm a free bottle off the waitress but Chuuya would be offended by even this place’s best wine. Maybe he would steal some extra yen off Kunikida instead and get Chuuya an actually good quality wine for their dinner later.
Maybe he’d bring Chuuya along on one of these agency outings sometime.