Chapter Text
Dani dropped to her knees, her arm across her stomach. Jamie, who had been arranging a vase of flowers at the counter, dropped everything she was holding and tore at her gloves, desperate to get them off.
“Dani!” Jamie exclaimed as she rushed over. She knelt down and put a hand on Dani’s back. Dani just hummed quietly in response, one hand over her eyes and the other still wrapped around her side. Her knees were splayed out to either side of her and she was folded at the waist, her head nearly touching the ground. “Dani, what happened?!”
“I can’t-” Dani stuttered, swaying under Jamie’s touch. “I can’t see-”
“Dani, let’s get you upstairs okay? Let me help you,” she placed her hands on Dani’s shoulders, but Dani shook her head.
“One second just give me a second-”
There was a ding towards the front of the store as the door opened, and Jamie looked up to meet eyes with a bewildered customer.
“We’re closed!” she insisted, scrambling towards the door and practically pushing the woman back onto the street. “I’m sorry, we’re closed.” She locked the door and flipped the sign around before drawing the curtain and stepping back over to Dani. “Dani, what can I do?” she begged, feeling helpless as she watched Dani all but writhe on the cold tile of the shop’s floor. Dani didn’t reply, just shook her head “Alright let’s get you sitting up so you can put your head between your legs, okay love?”
Dani nodded, but made no attempts to move on her own. Jamie placed her hands on her shoulders once again, and Dani allowed herself to be moved this time. Her head lolled forward as she let Jamie guide her to sit upright and lean her back against the front of the counter. She drew her legs in to her chest and put one arm around them. She reached out with her other hand and Jamie took it. She gripped Jamie’s hand tightly - making a mental note to apologize later for what must have been an agonizing death grip on the other girl’s hand - and gasped in pain. Jamie took a deep breath, sitting in front of Dani and using her one free hand to stroke her hair gently.
“Breathe with me, okay baby?” Jamie moved her hand down towards Dani’s back, drawing it up and down slowly to signify when she should breathe in and out. Dani’s breaths were concerningly staggered and raspy compared to Jamie’s encouraging, steady ones. “There you go, keep going, okay?” she said quietly, trying everything to keep her voice even despite her growing anxiety. “Dani I think it may be time to call an ambulance,” Jamie informed her, then winced as Dani somehow managed to tighten her hold on her hand.
“Don’t-” Dani managed, looking up for the first time to meet Jamie’s gaze. Jamie felt a pang in her chest as she saw her face. Her eyes were sunken and barely open, and all color had left her cheeks.
“Dani I-” she cleared her throat to keep her voice from breaking. “Dani I think we need to call someone, this seems bad, I-” Dani shook her head and dropped it back down into her knees.
“It’s happened before. It’ll pass. Just stay with me, okay?” She let go of Jamie’s hand and rubbed the back of her neck, fighting to stay conscious.
“Of course, Dani, I’m sorry,” Jamie slid herself next to Dani and draped her arm around her.
“Nothin to be sorry for,” Dani mustered. Her breathing was leveling out now, and she had almost completely stopped shaking. Almost. She let her legs slide down slowly until they were straight out in front of her and leaned her head on Jamie’s shoulder. Jamie wrapped one arm around Dani’s waist and took her hand with the other, stroking it softly with her thumb. “I think the worst of it’s over.”
“Dani what was that? That’s happened before? I think I need to call a doctor, I think we should-”
“There’s nothing a doctor could do for me,” Dani interrupted. She sounded sure of herself, as if she had given it plenty of thought in the past. “It’s because of her .” She shuddered on the last word and closed her eyes, suddenly seeing white again. She buried her face in Jamie’s shoulder and gripped her hand tightly. “Ah, f-” she winced. Jamie stroked her hair and held her steady.
“Ride it out, poppins, it’s okay,” Jamie tried to keep her voice calm. Dani let go of her hand and moved her grip to Jamie’s flannel button up, practically pulling it off. When she finally spoke again, her voice was tight with panic.
“Jamie?”
“Yeah?”
“Jamie?”
“What is it?”
“I’m gonna throw up.”
Jamie acted quickly, grabbing the small trash can from beside the counter and placing it in between them - not a moment too soon. Jamie grabbed Dani’s hair out of her face as she heaved forward. Jamie stared at her own hands and didn’t look down. On some similar occasion in the past she had told Dani it didn’t bother her, but seeing Dani get sick really made her sick as well. Partly because of whatever psychology makes people throw up when other people throw up, but also partly because she literally couldn’t stand to see Dani in that state. She focused hard on her hands, and Dani’s blonde hair clasped in them.
“Let it out, good girl,” she said. Dani choked and coughed, spitting one final time before swiping her mouth on her sleeve and returning her head to Jamie’s shoulder.
“Can I move this?” Jamie asked tentatively, referring to the trash can between them. Dani nodded in response and Jamie realized she was crying. She moved the trash can out of sight and turned her attention back towards Dani. “Oh, darling, come here,” she opened her arms and Dani moved to straddle her, hugging her waist with her face against her chest. Jamie closed her arms around her, one on the small of her back and the other protectively around the back of her head. Dani’s body racked with sobs, shaking them both. Jamie rocked her slowly, shushing her and telling her it was gonna be okay, running her fingers up and down her back. She lifted Dani’s shirt slightly to trace her spine, suppressing the thought of how cold her skin was. Dani gasped and sobbed as she tugged at the back of Jamie’s shirt.
“Please, I-“ Dani stammered in between cries. “I want to go home, Jamie.”
“Do you think you can walk, poppins?” Jamie asked, not loosening her hold on the girl’s back so she wouldn’t try and get up on her own. Dani nodded unconvincingly, but Jamie figured nothing was going to get better sitting on the cold floor. “Okay. Let’s try together, okay?” Dani nodded with a bit more certainty that time.
Jamie let her go and got on her knees, letting Dani take both her hands and slowly rise from the ground. Once they were somewhat standing upright, Jamie put her hands on Dani’s waist and lifted her so she could sit on the counter.
“Just let me get our jackets and get you some water, then we can leave, okay?” Jamie stroked Dani’s cheek as she nodded, clearing the tears that were still rolling down her face. She gave her a kiss on the forehead before turning on heel to walk toward the back. When she returned with their coats, Dani’s voice stopped her in the doorway.
“Jamie?”
“Yes, my love?” she looked up to meet Dani’s tired eyes.
“I’m s-sorry you had to um,” she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “I’m sorry you had to see me like that.” She tried to smile but it wavered, her face tear-stained. Jamie smiled softly back, taking her water bottle from behind the counter before heading back to Dani and standing in between her legs with her hands on her thighs. She lifted Dani’s chin with two fingers so their eyes met.
“Nothin to be sorry for, poppins,” she kissed Dani’s neck and started to pass her the water bottle. She paused for a moment before handing it over. “Take it slow, okay?”
“Yes, ma’am,” Dani teased, smiling for real this time. She sipped it slowly as she watched Jamie’s hand glide up and down her thigh. “Can we go home now?”
“I’m ready when you are, sweetheart,” Jamie passed Dani her coat and helped her put it on. This wasn’t necessary, but Dani thought it was sweet so she pretended it was. She let Jamie help her off the counter, and take both of their bags. She only protested when Jamie placed her own coat around Dani’s shoulders.
“Jamie you’re gonna be freezing!” she insisted, but Jamie shook her head, holding her arms in place.
“I’m good, poppins. It’s not a long walk, good for the blood flow and all that. Don’t worry about me.” Jamie was definitive, already guiding Dani towards the door. Dani decided she’d just have to walk quickly so they wouldn’t be outside too long, although she wasn’t sure Jamie would be very supportive of that decision. She looked at the floor as she wrapped the coat tighter around her and allowed herself to be led out of the shop.
“Thank you,” she huddled her body close to Jamie, who just nodded politely in response. There was a moment of silence between them as they stepped into the cold air and began walking towards their apartment. It was early afternoon, much earlier than they’d typically close the shop. Dani shivered beneath the two coats - and Jamie’s bare arms around her - and remembered her promise to herself to hurry home since her poor girlfriend had gone jacket-less for her sake. She quickened her pace just a bit, which soon proved to be a mistake. White spots threatened her vision. No no, please no, she thought desperately, forcing herself to continue walking steadily. Please not here. She fought it for a few more steps before she accepted she had no choice but to give in.
“Jamie?”
“Poppins?”
“I do not feel good.” She collapsed onto Jamie’s body. She heard Jamie say something in a soft voice, and her ears rang. Jamie never yelled, never panicked. She was good like that. Jamie’s really good , she thought. I’m safe with her, it’s fine. There was something to wrap her arms around and she did so, her last cling on reality. A voice in the back of her mind was screaming, trying to remind her that she was leaving her body with Jamie in the street. She ignored it. Darkness overtook her and she was back at the lake. Under different circumstances, it might have even been peaceful. But she could recognize the start of this nightmare anywhere, and she figured fighting it for so long had only made it much, much worse.
Jamie acted quickly, sliding her elbows under Dani’s arms in a sort of reverse trust fall.
“Hey, it’s all good, poppins. Relax, I’ll take us the rest of the way, okay?” Jamie spoke so low she was practically just humming into Dani’s ear. They were less than half a block away, what was some extra weight to carry? She was a gardener, after all, used to manual labor of this kind. She knelt down and hooked her arm under Dani’s knees, which were threatening to buckle at any moment. Her other arm wrapped behind Dani’s shoulders, reaching all the way up to protect her head. She brought the unconscious figure close to her body and mused, “Do you think you can put your arms around me, baby?” To her surprise, Dani obliged. Jamie stood up, Dani in tow, and began walking. Her muscles strained a bit but it didn’t matter. Dani’s arms wrapped around her neck prevented her from being a complete dead weight. Jamie made her way back to their apartment, occasionally kissing Dani’s forehead and whispering to her quietly as she walked.