Actions

Work Header

Rating:
Archive Warning:
Category:
Fandom:
Relationship:
Characters:
Additional Tags:
Language:
English
Series:
Part 2 of All I want is you
Stats:
Published:
2021-09-13
Words:
3,509
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
14
Kudos:
175
Bookmarks:
9
Hits:
1,120

If you were a wink, I'd be a nod

Summary:

In which Alec goes through eleven iterations of first-date jitters before he even has a date. (To his credit, he does eventually remedy that.)

Notes:

Title is from the song "All I Want Is You" by Barry Louis Polisar.

i'm sorry, but that's a thing now. it's not my fault, the song just vibes with this 'verse.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Alec kind of... doesn't know what in the world he'd been thinking, keeping the flirty warlock's phone number.

...no, that's not the truth. He knows exactly what he'd bee thinking. He'd bee thinking 'shit, he's hot', and he'd been both overwhelmed and flattered, confused as well as reluctantly charmed with the absolutely shameless, blatant way he was being flirted with.

He can't even quite say why. People have been interested in Alec before; some even were as blatant about it as Magnus had been. But... somehow, with Magnus it had felt different. Something unique. The things Magnus said to him, the way he behaved, it was completely over the top, but there was an edge of self-awareness to it that told Alec that Magnus was well-aware of that, that it was intentional. The way his eyes had twinkled at Alec, it was like Alec was in on the joke, like it was a little secret the shared, something humorous and innocuous. Magnus was inviting him in on the joke rather than laughing about Alec's reactions.

And then there were those instances when Magnus dropped the act, just dropped it, because something else was more important. Like when Alec panicked and apologized for being unprofessional, Magnus had instantly dropped the act to reassure Alec that it was fine, that he was just playing. And then he'd picked it up again to add another outrageous comment, and he'd winked at Alec, and. There had just been something, something genuine about it all. Like the over-the-topness was real, but it wasn't all there is to Magnus. Magnus didn't play his games at the expense of other people. He's self-aware about it instead of callous, playful but not cruel, a bit ridiculous but thoughtful, blatant but mindful of boundaries.

Or, well, at least that's the impression Alec got. It's not like he actually knows Magnus, at all. All he knows is that Magnus is strongly interested in books and history, that he's a bit reckless, and light-hearted, cheerful, and playful, that he is unashamed to show his interest and be both blatant and blunt about it, but he's never obnoxious, demanding, or overbearing. He'll flirt outrageously, but he pays attention to make sure he isn't making anybody uncomfortable.

...alright, so maybe Alec does know a bit more about Magnus than nothing. But a single interaction is not proof of anything. Maybe Magnus was just bored. Maybe he was in a good mood, and when he isn't he turns into a tyrant. Maybe Alec just wants Magnus to be a good person. It's perfectly possible.

"Which is what dates are for, Alec," Izzy points out when he tells her that, eyes rolled heavenwards. "We go on dates to figure out if a person we're interested in is actually a good fit for whatever it is we're looking for. How else are you going to figure it out? It's not like you're going to divine it in your tea leaves or whatever."

"I know what dates are for, Isabelle," Alec retorts scathingly. "I've dated people before, you know."

"You've gone on dates with people before," she corrects, one eyebrow lifted. "That's very different from actually dating them and you know it, hermano."

Alright, he can concede she has a point there. But. "That was always very deliberate and my choice, Izzy." Alec doesn't like the concept of dating. It's basically like reserving tickets without committing. It's all 'just in case I feel like it I'll have guaranteed myself a seat, but if something better comes along I can just let the ticket expire, no harm, no foul'. No, it's not for Alec. If he likes a person, he wants a certain degree of commitment – he wants to know that he's the only one the person is going on dates with, and vice versa. If that's not something the other person wants to commit to, then that's fine, no hard feelings, but Alec can't do it. He doesn't care if that makes him old-fashioned or whatever.

"I can hear you panicking from here," Izzy calls out. "Will you relax, Alec? It's just a date."

It's not "just a date". It's never "just a date".

"I can't do this." Dropping his phone onto the sofa, Alec turns away and strides over to the window, crosses his arms as he stares out.

A sigh, and then Izzy steps up to him, leans her weight against his arm. "What is it?" Her voice is soft. "Why are you freaking out so much? If it doesn't work out, then it doesn't work out. No big deal. There are plenty of other people out there. Mundanes, downworlders, even warlocks. Someone out there will be interested in you, and you in them. If it's not this guy, then it's someone else. Why are you so stressed?"

Alec blows out a breath, watches the street down below for a minute. Why is he so stressed out? Is it because Magnus is a warlock?

No, that can't be it. Alec has met warlocks before. He's interacted with some on a semi-regular basis; the same with other downworlders. Sure, generally he'll just meet them as "Isabelle's brother", while Izzy herself is generally known for being Meliorn's girlfriend, but that's not what matters. Even if it is the High Warlock that asked Alec out on a date.

...fuck, the High Warlock asked Alec out on a date.

"I can't do this," Alec breathes, hunching over.

"Why," Izzy asks again, more hardness in her voice now. She exhales noisily, then nudges Alec back to the couch and sits down across from him. "Stop panicking and talk, Alec. I can't help you if you won't tell me what's wrong."

A childish impulse makes him want to say he didn't ask for her help, but that would be unwarranted. She's his sister, of course she doesn't need him to ask to want to help him.

Slowly letting out his breath, Alec tries to put to words what he himself can't even really understand. "He's just... Izzy. He's way out of my league."

"In what way?"

He huffs. "For one, he's seriously hot. Secondly, he's rich and sophisticated, in ways I can't even understand. I mean, what can we even talk about? I'll probably bore him to death. He probably knows lots of interesting people and I'm just... not that. Thirdly, he's the High Warlock, and I'm just some effectively mundane firefighter with parents who used to be shadowhunters." Abruptly, he goes pale. "Who used to be Circle members. Izzy, I can't do this."

She blows out a breath. "Okay. I have to give you that one; that is an obstacle. Not as much of one as you seem to think, but it's not nothing, you're right. The rest, though... none of that fucking matters, Alec. If he weren't interested in you, if he thinks you're boring and, whatever, beneath him or something, then would he have flirted with you?"

Alec scowls. "Izzy-"

"Would he, Alec?" she interrupts sharply.

Glaring at the floor, Alec exhales. "No." It's not like there was any real reason for Magnus to stick around and breathe from an oxygen tank. Even if he had had any reaction to the smoke, magic would fix that right quick. In fact, it would have been very inconvenient for Magnus to stick around; he surely has better things to do. And yet, stick around he did. Flirting with Alec at every opportunity.

"There you have it. It's up to him to decide whether he finds you interesting, and clearly he did, or he wouldn't have flirted as hard with you as he did. And from what you told me, he really went for it."

"But that doesn't mean he finds me interesting," Alec points out. "Maybe he just wants to- wants a- maybe he just wants to, to sleep with me and then be done with it."

Izzy shrugs. "I mean, in theory, that might be possible. But seriously, nobody is going to look at you in your on duty uniform and be that attracted to your body. Potato sacks have more shape, Alec. And frankly, if all he wanted was a one-night-stand, this is really too much effort for that. Even if he really wanted to bang a firefighter, there are bars where firefighters are known to go. All he'd have to do is ask around a little and that's it. It'd be much simpler than flirting with you - and I've seen you when people flirt with you that you're attracted to, Alec, you do not make it easy for them. And it would definitely be easier than giving you his phone number and leaving it up to you to contact him." She exhales. "Listen, I can't speak for him; I don't know what he actually wants. All I can say is that there's more evidence against him wanting a quick fuck than there is in favor. As for the rest, you'll just have to speak to him about it. On a date. Which is how people do that sort of thing."

Well. She's not wrong.

"I have been on dates before, you know," Alec informs her for the second time, barely withholding a grimace at the petulance in his voice.

"Yes," she agrees archly. "So I really wonder why you're this freaked out about it, Alec. Normally you either decide it's no big deal and barely bother to find a t-shirt to wear that's not washed out, or you get too intimidated and talk yourself out of it and cancel. What's different this time, hermano?"

And that is... really a good question. Because Izzy is not wrong, Alec doesn't usually... do this. Oh, he's gotten nervous about attractive people being interested in him, sure, but he's never freaked out about it to this degree. Because either he'll, and he's not proud of this, decide he's not that interested anyway so he doesn't much care about the outcome of the date, or he'll decide it's not going to work out anyway and back out of it.

Magnus definitely could never be the former, and Alec is kind of doing the latter, but instead of taking all the reasons why it wouldn't work out and using them as an excuse to cancel, he just keeps running in circles.

He could cancel. Nevermind whether he should, but he could. He wouldn't even explicitly have to do that, because Magnus left the choice entirely to him; he could just never contact Magnus and that would be that. It's unlikely they'll ever meet again, and even if they did, Magnus will probably have long since moved on and forgotten all about Alec.

But. "I don't want to," he whispers.

For a moment Izzy remains still, waiting for him to continue. When he doesn't, she shifts a little, then gets up and sits down next to him, shoulder leaning against his as she asks gently, "Don't want to what?"

"Cancel." Alec exhales, considers the revelation. "I don't want to, Izzy. I want to... yes, he's way out of my league and I don't see how it could ever work out, but... he was sweet, Izzy, and kind. I mean, he was loud and outrageous - I don't mean noisy, I just mean, the sort of person everyone looks at, you know? And he was so, so... it's like he doesn't even know what embarrassment is." Her elbow nudges his at that, an acknowledgment that has him send her a rueful look. Yes, he wishes he had that degree of confidence, of comfortableness with himself. Sometimes Alec feels like all he does is feel embarrassed.

Izzy, aware of Alec's feelings on the matter, gently nudges the topic to the side and asks, "What do you mean, he was sweet?"

Alec exhales. "He... he kept saying things to me, and I got so flustered, Izzy, I can't even tell you. And you know how I get sometimes." Just the memory of what Magnus had said to him makes Alec's face heat. Mouth to mouth, really?

"Tongue-tied?" Izzy asks.

Well. "That too, but that's not what I meant."

That earns him a knowing look. "Sarcastic, then."

Alec huffs. "Yeah. And then he pretended to be hurt and made a joke about how I should be nice to him because he's injured, and I got so flustered and panicked a little and apologized for being unprofessional. And he immediately stopped pretending and made sure I knew it was fine, he was just joking. And then he, he made another, uh, comment. But he- it's the part where he immediately stopped teasing me and made sure I knew it was fine when he saw I wasn't, that I was maybe too far out of my comfort zone. It was just. He really paid attention, and he made sure I wasn't, that I... that he was playing with me, not toying with me. You know?"

"Wow, that was well put." She nudges his shoulder and sends him an impressed look. "Yeah, I get it. And I can see why that would... it sounds like he minds your comfort zone and just nudges you a little out of it, he doesn't forcefully push you out and expect you to play by his rules."

"Yes, exactly." Relieved, Alec relaxes back into the sofa. Looking back on their interaction, there's a clear theme there as well: while Magnus made his interest explicitly clear each time they talked, he also never chased Alec. He opened the door and made sure Alec knew without a doubt that he was welcome, but he left it to Alec to decide if he wanted to continue their interaction or not. From the moment they met until the last time they talked, Magnus provided an opportunity and made his own receptiveness clear, but let Alec be the one to make the final decision. Up to and including when he gave Alec his phone number without asking for Alec's in return. He didn't even try one of the more sneaky ways of getting Alec's number, for example by directly putting his number into Alec's phone and calling his own from it, the way some people do.

Respectful. Magnus was intent yet respectful, express but kind, playful but attentive. He. He challenges Alec, and in a way he's scared, but not of Magnus. Not at all of Magnus. Of the situation, of how much he's already feeling, the unfamiliarity of it and the uncertainty of whether it really can ever lead anywhere, of how unable he is to just let it go. But at the same time, he doesn't feel scared of Magnus. Not remotely.

Maybe it's silly. Maybe he's reading far too much into far too little interaction. But Alec kind of feels... safe almost. If there were no other factors to consider - Alec's parents' history; Magnus' status in stark contrast to Alec's own - then he wouldn't even hesitate.

"I'll do it," Alec decides, then instantly gets to his feet and marches to his room to find the folded note Magnus had pressed into his hand before leaving. He'd kept it clenched in his fist until he had a moment of privacy, and then he'd tucked it safely away in a zipped pocket, then later transferred it to his wallet back at the station. That's where he pulls it out from now.

The moment he unfolds it he once again blushes violently. The note itself is innocuous, if thrilling - just Magnus' number with a "Call me XOXOXO -Magnus" written below, but. There's a.

There's a lipstick kiss above the number and a little off to the side, at an angle. It's a deep purple with, with glitter or shimmer or whatever. It sparkles, is the point. And it's Magnus'. Alec knows this for a fact, because Magnus hadn't been wearing it when they met or each subsequent time they interacted, but when he'd given Alec the note there suddenly it was: lipstick. Alec literally almost walked into a pole when he first caught sight of it. And yes, Magnus had laughed, but his eyes had been bright and his cheeks had flushed a little, and he'd peered at Alec from underneath his eyelashes like he was really rather pleased to have gotten this kind of reaction. And then he'd winked, and when he'd shaken Alec's hand to thank him "for the dashing rescue, my heart is still all aflutter, darling", he'd taken Alec's hand between both of his and held it for a moment as he looked Alec straight in the eyes. Made no attempt to pretend like he wasn't very interested in hearing from Alec.

Alec had been so dazed it had taken him almost a full minute to realize there was a note in his hand, left behind by Magnus. And when he finally had opportunity to actually look at the note... well.

Even now, Alec has to literally hold onto his chest for a moment at the sight of it, like his heart will trip right out of it if he doesn't physically keep it contained.

He takes a deep breath, then exhales. And then, because he knows himself and is well-aware that if he gives himself one second to think he'll probably circle back to trying (and failing) to talk himself out of it, he pulls out his phone, quickly puts in the number and immediately composes a text:

Hey Magnus, this is Alec Lightwood. Would you maybe like to go on that date you mentioned? If you're still interested. But it's fine if you're not, I get it. It was probably an unsettling situation, so I understand if you've reconsidered.

He sends it before he can second-guess himself - or anymore than he already is, at any rate. And naturally regrets it the instant it's gone, because wow, way to sound insecure. Smooth as sandpaper, Alec.

Thus, like a completely normal person, Alec then proceeds to fantasize about dropping his phone into the Mariana Trench and going completely off-line forever hereon out. He gets so into it (will the station pay is wages in cash, he wonders, and what about rent; is his landlord going to think he's turned to crime if he asks to switch to cash?) that, when his phone vibrates in his hand, he literally jumps and flings it away from himself like it launched an attack on him. It bounces off the wall and clatters to the floor, and all Alec can do is watch, wondering if this is karmic justice. This is his punishment for not appreciating his blessings.

"Alec?" Izzy pokes her head into his room, brows furrowed. "What happened? Did he say no?"

Oh shit. Eyes going wide, Alec lunges for his phone, which is- totally fine. Of course it is. Because Izzy got him one of those ultra drop proof cell phone cases for his last birthday, together with a tempered glass screen protector. And below said protector, the screen now shows that Magnus has replied to his message.

"Alec?"

"Just wait," Alec grinds out and has to draw his unlock pattern for a third time, shaky hands making him mess up the first two. But finally he succeeds and opens the message.

Alexander, I'm thrilled to hear from you! I'd so been hoping you would write. Of course I'm still interested, I'd love to go on a date with you. Did you have something specific in mind or would you like to just meet up for coffee and maybe a stroll in the park? I'm up for anything, so long as you'll be there ;)

Exhaling, Alec reads the message again, and a third time. Then, still staring at his phone, he turns the screen off, blinks at his reflection. He looks like a deer that got caught in the headlights, but which also just won the lottery. It's... kind of an accurate representation of how he feels.

Slowly, he lifts his head, blinks at his sister, hanging in the doorway and staring at him intently. "I. Uhm. Have a date."

Instantly, her face brightens. "Really? That quick? Wow!"

A smile slowly growing on his face, Alec nods. "Yeah. Yeah, he. Replied just now. We're going for coffee? I mean, he-" Alec freezes. "Oh shit, wait, I have to reply first, just a second-"

While Alec is once again trying (and failing) to unlock his phone, Izzy laughs. "Catch me up when you're done." With that she walks away, leaving Alec to try to sound a bit smoother than a brick wall while agreeing on a time and date with Magnus. For the date they're going to go on. Alec and Magnus. Their first date, is what Magnus says, implying that there might be more than one.

Oh, god.

"Izzy?!" Dropping his phone once more, Alec stumbles out of his room and into the wall, barely even registering what will later develop into a nice bruise on his shoulder as he scrambles after his sister. "Izzy what do people wear on dates? What's wrong with my t-shirts? Izzy?"

Notes:

thank you so much for all the encouragement, everyone! <3 i really didn't expect much of a reception at all, i don't think i would've written this if i hadn't known people were interested. it was a lot of fun getting into alec's head though. he's such a precious, anxious little bean, i just want to hug him. (don't worry, magnus will handle that eventually.)

...what i'm trying to say is, i never would've found out about this without your lovely comments, so thank you! i've got to say, i'm very anxious curious what you'll think about the "twist" regarding how this is a lot more "canon divergence" than "alternate universe". i do have a backstory and some loose plans for this 'verse, but if there's anything specific you'd like to know/read in this series, please let me know!

Series this work belongs to: