Chapter Text
The wind was howling like a demon. Thor had packed the snow in as best he could, but every gust still seemed to send a fresh burst of cold into the cave. He felt it, though not acutely yet, and the cave would warm. But…
He glanced across. As far away as he could get, folded into the opposite corner like a shadow and looking at him out of baleful eyes, Loki glowered at him as though this had been Thor’s idea - the snowstorm, his wretched state, all of it.
"I didn’t want this," Thor tried reminding him. Loki’s teeth flashed.
"No, of course not." His voice was faintly hoarse. "You always say that, when you err, as though it makes any difference what you wanted when it happened.”
"I didn’t know," Thor tried, and Loki scoffed and pulled the rags of his clothing around himself, tightly drawn together, huddled like he had as a child under Thor’s blankets when the nights were cold.
"You’re chilled," Thor said.
"I am fine." A small shudder ran visibly through his body, stifled too late. "We are in a snowy wasteland. I am not comfortable. For a number of reasons.”
Thor refused to take the hint. “You’re not well, Loki. You need to-“
"Do not tell me what I need to do.” Loki’s voice cut through his like a knife, and Thor fell silent, but only for a moment. He cleared his throat and tried again.
"If you would just…you would not feel the cold, would you, if you…"
Loki’s shoulders locked, even more rigid, though Thor would not have believed it possible. “Do not,” he said, and no more, but Thor didn’t dare press harder, afraid Loki would leave if he tried, to vanish out in the snow. Perhaps die. Could he refuse - his nature, even that far?
Thor didn’t want to find out.
Another gust of wind howled by, and Thor felt a burst of cold air. Loki shivered violently, though, and Thor heard his teeth click. After it passed, he didn’t stop, his shoulders shaking, his breathing coming unevenly.
"Loki," he said, carefully.
"Don’t come near me," he spat, through chattering teeth. Thor took a step nearer, but when Loki tried to press back he stopped.
"I only…" he trailed off. "…it doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t have to mean anything. I will not…"
“I will not.”
"Then let me help!"
Silence, but for the sound of Loki’s shivering. Thor held very still, as though if he didn’t move perhaps he could change what Loki would say, because he knew, he knew-
"Fine."
Thor blinked. Stared. Blinked again. “—what?”
"I said, fine.” Loki’s teeth clattered together. “I don’t wish to die. And I will not - do as you suggest. So if these are my choices…” He looked up at Thor, eyes empty of affection. “Then I will take it.”
Thor took a deep breath, and let it out. He edged a little closer, half expecting some attack, and then sat down next to Loki, whose shoulders were like a wall. “I need to,” he started to say.
"Get on with it." Loki’s voice was sharp, harsh. Thor eased his arm carefully around his shoulders, felt Loki tense impossibly further, and then relax, very slightly. He left his hand loose, not daring any more even though he could feel the small tremors in Loki’s body beside him. He kept his eyes straight ahead, listening to the wind.
Loki’s body relaxed a little more against his side. Thor unwrapped his cloak and folded it over them both.
"Do not think," Loki said, his voice still tight. "That this means anything to me.”
"I will not," Thor said, even if his heart hurt, saying it. More moments passed. The next gust of wind sounded softer. “I think it might be dying down,” Thor offered, but Loki didn’t answer. A slight shiver ran through his body, and then a sigh. Thor looked down in surprise as Loki shifted, curling up against his side with his head on his shoulder, his eyes closed.
"I do not forgive you," Loki mumbled, after several long moments. His voice sounded slightly slurred, and for a moment Thor felt frightened, until he reached under the blanket and found the back of his neck, which if not warm was at least not cold, and he wasn’t shaking.
"I know," Thor said. He tightened his arm a little around Loki, pulled the cloak up to both their necks. "Tomorrow…tomorrow everything goes back to the way it is." But not, he added in his own mind, as it should be. He would never allow that.
Loki didn’t answer. His face turned to tuck into Thor’s shoulder and his breathing was slow and quiet, even. Sleeping.
Thor closed his eyes and tucked Loki’s head under his chin. He could feel the air starting to become warmer.
Tomorrow he’d have to let go again. But whatever the reason, wherever they were, whatever had happened…it was good to have just a little bit of the illusion of his brother back.