Chapter Text
Loud angry voices echoed from the living room, down the hallway and into a dark room filled with stuffed bunnies, dolls, toy blocks and one little girl curled up in a princess bed. She had her pillow over her head to try to muffle the sounds but it did little good. She knew it. This wasn't the first time she had to try to muffle the noise. Eventually, air starts to run thin and she pulls the pillow off and looks up at the dark ceiling then to her slightly cracked door where a little bit of light filtered in, the voices kept on. She sits up and grabs her pink ipod touch from the nightstand and puts the headphones on and presses the play button, turning up the volume. Some Hannah Montana song plays as she closes her eyes and mentally sings along. After a few songs she pauses it and listens. The voices sounded like they were in another room and were too muffled to make out anything. She fiddles with the ipod for a bit before hitting the texting app and scrolling through the few contacts she has before finding the person she wants and opening a text.
it takes a few minutes before a message is sent back
She puts the ipod back on her nightstand and pulls the blankets around herself and closes her eyes. Tomorrow things would be all better. She normally forgot whatever she and her friends were fighting about at school, it was probably the same for Daddies.
--
As usual she was up before everyone else. Even though she had no idea what time it was, she was hungry. So she got out of bed and made her way to her desk where her backpack sat and where her Daddy had put her clothes out yesterday. She changes out of her princess Ariel pjs and slips legs into her jeans. Next is her shirt, it was white and had a little yellow duck at the bottom right corner. It took more effort than her jeans but managed to get into it, even though it felt a little funny on her for some reason.
The kitchen was just down the hall, right past the living room and her Daddies room. A peek into the living room showed a large flat screen tv, a brown leather L shaped couch and feet sticking out from one end. She frowns and walks in to inspect whos feet she was seeing. Turns out it was Dads. Why was Dad sleeping on the couch? It wasn't that comfortable and she knew from experience, one too many times falling asleep watching Sesame Street. She noticed Dad's sunglasses still on his face and quietly padded over and slipped them off his face and set them on the table. Dad didn't move and for a moment she was scared that maybe Dad had died. But the hands on top of his stomach were rising ever so slightly so her fears were eased and turned around to make her way back to the kitchen. Her Daddies door was closed as usual. She knew better than to open it so she carried on to the kitchen.
It was still a little dark so she jumped and swatted at the light switch. The lights flickered on and she smiled in triumph, first try! Dad would be proud. Looking around the kitchen she briefly wondered what to have for breakfast. She would like a poptart but Daddy didn't like her to have those in the morning. Or at all really. Daddy rarely let her have sweets, unlike Dad who was more relaxed and if she asked for a poptart all she needed was to say please and thank you.
Cereal was probably the best idea. Since it was on the lowest shelf and the poptarts were kept on top of the fridge, even if she climbed on top of a chair she still wouldn't be able to reach them. The cereal cabinet was cool and spun around in a circle. Like a merry-go-round inside the cabinet, it was too bad she was slightly too big to fit or else she would try it out. She told that to Daddies once and they both laughed and said she was a lot like Aunt Jade.
Crouched down on the floor she opened up to reveal the spinning cereal cabinet. She moved it around till she found the Honey Nut Cheerios. She pulled it out and set it on the floor. She looked around for a bowel and saw some sitting in the dish rack. With a help of a chair she reaches one of the plastic bowls, along with her favorite green monsters inc spoon, and drops them to the ground. She hops down, collects them and sets them beside the cereal. Now all was left was the milk, something she couldn't exactly get herself most of the time. The fridge was quite tall and the milk was usually kept on the very top shelf. Despite all odds, she ends up getting the milk out.
The cereal was poured cautiously into the bowl, only spilling out a little bit. Whoops. She picked up the pieces that fell out and shoved them into her mouth. All that was left was to pour the milk and that didn't always end so well. But Dad says practice makes perfect whenever he goes to sword practices. Dad always had the best advice! She twisted the milk cap off and set it down. Carefully, with both hands, she tips the jug forward and a little pours out and onto the floor. Rats! Needs better aim. And with a slight nudge she moves it closer to the bowl and tips it and a small stream comes out and into the bowl. She lets out a delighted laugh and stop when she deems it enough and sticks her spoon into the cereal. All out abandoning everything else she takes her bowl and moves to the table. She pushes the bowel onto the table using her tiptoes and finger tips, nodding with approval she climbs up the chair and well... since she doesn't have her booster seat she has to pretty much stand to eat. That was ok, she was a big girl sitting...er...standing at the adult table!
Eating breakfast went without any problems other than a few stray Cheerios falling off the spoon or some milk dribbling down her proud face. She hummed some song she learned in school as she ate and wondered when her Daddies would wake up. It was pretty lonely eating by yourself, even though Dad and Daddy did it a lot! Do they not miss each other? Dad was almost always home while Daddy would be at work working with Grandma and Aunt Roxy at the labs. Sometimes Daddy wouldn't be home till after she went to bed! That was ok, she always waited till he got back to hear him sneak into her room and kiss her on the head.
When Daddy did come home, Dad and Daddy would kiss sometimes or give each other a long hug. She was confused as to why they would be crying. If they missed each other that much why did they yell all the time?
Aunt Jade wasn't married and seemed to be ok with living with her friend Jake and Aunt Jane. It confused the poor girl, so she always asked why Aunt Jane and Jake weren't married and were promptly scolded by Daddy while Dad just laughed and Aunt Janes and Jakes face would turn red. Which would prompt more questions and then be shooed away to play in the other room.
As she finished eating her cereal she heard a few bumps and then some footsteps heading towards the kitchen. She looked up as the person entered but they didn't seem to recognize she was there yet. The tall figure shuffled to the coffee maker and started taking stuff out of the cabinets. They opened up a small red plastic can and began putting the black stuff into a white paper thing. She watched, intrigued, as he missed and let out a word she had heard before and knew it wasn't a nice thing to say. Maybe he nodded to a reminder!
“That's not a nice word!” The person jumped and spun around frantically looking around till their eyes landed on her small figure. She smiled and waved with the one holding the spoon, little bits of milk dripping from it. The person smiled and ran a hand through their messy blond hair.
“Good morning, Princess.” He looks at your bowl. “You do that yourself or is Daddy up?” She shrugs.
“Daddys door was shut and you were still asleep.” He nods and leaves the kitchen and hear him call your Daddy's name and a door open. She didn't hear the door close and Dad walked back into the kitchen, looking a little angry.
“Seems like Daddy already left. Figures.” He mumbles the last part and a little angrier than necessary finishes making his coffee. Its quiet as Dad finishes making his coffee. He sits across from her and sips his drink. Shes tempted to ask for a drink since Daddy left for work already but decides against it. She was already pretty full from her cereal. Speaking of cereal, Dad seems to notice the box and the milk still sitting on the floor and looking between her and the mess and just sighs.
“Why don't you go get your brush so we can brush those tangles out, hm?” She nods and hops down from the chair and speed walks to her room, snatching up the brush with Princess Ariel print on the back, a few hair bands and runs back to the kitchen.
“Can you braid my hair today? You always do it better than Daddy.” Dad smiles and nods, patting his lap. She climbs up and settles herself down with a content hum. Her hair gets braided and she hops down and puts her brush back. When she returns to the kitchen the milk and cereal is put away and her bowl, along with his now empty coffee cup, is set into the sink. He pulls out his phone from his pants pocket and leans on the counter as he reads.
She's about to head back to her room when Dad's voice stops her. “Looks like school's canceled today, kiddo. She grins and goes to run back to her room when a hand stops her. “Wait a sec. Looks like you've got your shirt on backwards.” The shirt is lifted over her head and then back down the right way and suddenly feels more flexible. She thanks him and runs back off.
The day is passed with a lot of playing, mostly by herself since Dad seemed to be busy with something. Barbies are scattered all over her room with the Barbie house set up in the middle of the room. She lays her Barbies down in the bed and pretends to tuck them in. She takes the kid doll and puts it in its own bed. She smiles and gets up from the house and looks around. Maybe she could convince Dad to play a video game with her or maybe watch him make music. She makes her way to the living room and peaks around the wall and sees Dad on the phone, pacing. Hes talking in hushed tones so she cant make out what hes saying but she can see tears rolling down from behind his glasses. Eventually, his voice picks up and she gets a bit of the conversation.
“John, you can't just leave, you-” a long pause. “No...n-yes! Of course I have, you would know how she is if you would come back.” A short laugh, “She thinks you're at work, John. You know she made breakfast all by herself this morning. Yeah, it was a bit messy but she did it. No- no I was asleep. If you would have been here you could have made her breakfast yourself.” He hisses the last part and suddenly the voice on the other side is louder and Dad looks angry.
“You can't put this all on me, John. You're never here.” Dad pulls the phone away from his ear for a minute and then shoves it back to his ear, “You know if you weren't trying to become the next alcoholic in the family maybe I would be willing to make up but with how you're slurring your words, well, that doesn't sound like that's going to happen.” a pause, “You're not coming home like this. Stay with Roxy or Janes, or hell, go visit Rose because you sound like you could use a little help. There's loud yelling on the other side of the phone again and Dave puts his shades on top of his head and rubs his eyes.
“John. John- hey whoa I never said I wanted that, you're the one blowing this up. No. No, John, we have a KID. Did that suddenly slip your mind?” Dave shook his head and sat down in the recliner and put his head in his free hand. “Come on, John. You know you don't want that. Look at your hand, no the one with the damn ring on it. You see that- shut up! You see that ring? For better or for worse.” Dad pulled the phone away from his ear and threw it across the room, it hit the couch and flopped down onto the cushion. She watched as her Dad covered his face and as his shoulders shook. She turned away from the scene and chewed on her bottom lip as she wondered why her Daddies were always fighting. Uncle Dirk and his roommate, Jake didn't fight like that.
She ran back to her room and picked up her itouch and opened the texting app. She clicked on her uncles name,
A while later, during dinner (a can of spaghettios) when they hear a knock at the door and then, “Dave, Casey, we know you're there.” The little girl grins at the voice and jumps up from her chair and run towards the door. She swings it open and looks up at the faces of her Aunt and Uncle. Aunt Jane immediately picks her up and swings her around and Uncle Dirk gives her hair a ruffle and she whines about her braid that Dad worked so hard on coming undone. Dirk just laughs and lightly taps her nose, “Nice to see you too, Casey.”
--
Dad comes in to view and he had his glasses on. He rarely ever had those anymore, just normally when he was upset. Was Dad upset that she invited them over? I opened my mouth to say sorry but Uncle Dirk cut me off.
“We decided it was time for a stop, its been a while since I've seen my favorite niece.” He pokes me tummy and I try to hold back a giggle and push his hand away. I wiggle out of Aunt Jane's grasp and run up to Dad.
“I'm gonna go finish my food!” I say as I feel my stomach growl. I wave at my aunt and uncle as I head back into the kitchen. I climb back up into my chair and shove spoonfuls of spaghettios into my mouth. A few land on my shirt but I just pick them off and eat them, no reason in wasting yummy food! I finish quickly and sit in my chair for a minute because it feel like my belly was the size of a whale. After I decide that my tummy has gone back to regular size I jump down and creep down the hall and keep my back to the wall to listen in on their conversation.
I didn't understand most of it. Mostly because Dad was whispering and Roxy sounded like she might be crying.
“This is all my fault. If Mom and I just kept the alcohol out of our celebrations-”
“No, Jane. John didn't take a drink and decide to become a raging alcoholic and run away from his family. You don't party that often, so he's been doing it in secret. For some reason I can't even begin to understand.”
“He ran off?” Uncle Dirk asked.
“Yeah. I don't have a clue where he went. He was gone when I woke up this morning. I call him and he was piss drunk. Started yelling at me about how I could never be his soulmate because I was too good for him.” You hear a frustrated sigh, “I became a stay at home dad when we adopted Casey. He was okay with that. He had the college degree, I couldn't let him throw that away.”
“Maybe he feels bad because you don't get to go out to clubs and DJ anymore?” Jane added softly. “He's mentioned it before in passing. Said he wanted to get home so you could go out and have some time to yourself.”
“He knows I willingly gave that up. We talked about it when Casey came along. When we adopted Casey, she was my number one priority. I knew I had to give up some things before she even came along. It's not like I never mix anymore. Casey loves to sit in my lap as I put things together.”
“Could he be jealous of Casey?” Jane asks and it goes silent. “I mean. I'm not saying she's the problem at all. I had never seen you both so happy when you both brought Casey home for the first time. I can tell Casey is your both pride and joy, but do you both ever just make time for yourselves? You know Dirk and I are always willing to take her off your hands if you guy's need some time.”
Dad laughs, “You've been hanging around Rose too much.” Everyone laughs quietly and as soon as it comes its gone and silent. I bit my lip and slid down the wall and sit. Was this my fault? Was I taking up too much time with Dad and making Daddy jealous? If that was it I could stop so they could get along again.
I run past the living room and into my room. I hear my itouch making noises and pick it up. Aunt Jade was trying to text me.
I think about it for minute. Maybe if I went away for a bit Dad and Daddy would make up. But... if I left I would miss Daddy coming home!
I set the itouch down and go to back to playing with the Barbies. I get so caught up in it I don't realize how late it actually was until I started to yawn. I glance up at the clock and squint. I'm not very good at telling time so having a clock in my room felt dumb, but Daddy insisted on it, saying that I would learn better that way. I put myself off the floor and grab my princess pjs from last night and change into them, this time making sure I put my shirt on the right way, its slight struggle but it ends up on me the right way. I poke my head out the door and can still hear everyone talking.
I go back into my room and turn off my light and shut my door a little bit. But not too much, I wanted to make sure that I caught Daddy when he got home. I jumped onto my bed and covered myself up. I felt around for my bunny and then wrapped my arms around it. I closed my eyes and smiled as I waited for Daddy to come into my room to kiss my head goodnight.
Hours went by. Dad, Dirk and Jane stand outside my door as I pretended to be asleep.
“She goes to bed by herself? She's such a big girl, Dave.” You hear Jane say fondly. Dirk makes a noise of approval. I hear the feet move away from the door so I peak an eye open as I see the hall light turn off. I sat up, a bit confused. Why did they turn the light off? Daddy needed that to see when he comes home. I tuck myself back under the blankets and watch my door. I hear the front door shut and everything is silence. Dad's feet shuffle down the hall and I hear the bedroom door shut. I wait a few minutes before I get out of bed and move towards my Daddies room. The door is shut, as usual. I hear crying coming from the other side and I sit down beside the door and wrap my hands around my legs, pulling them up against my chest.
Eventually Dad's cries stop and the light turns off. I stare down the dark hall, waiting for the front door to open. I don't know how long I wait but I feel my eyelids drooping and furiously blink them to stay awake. It wasn't long before I couldn't keep them open any longer and I fell asleep.
--
I woke up on the floor. I sat up, looking around, confused. Why wasn't I in bed? Daddy always puts me in bed when he comes home. I rub my eyes and look over to see the door still shut. I get up and walk to the front door and only see two pairs of shoes. I frown and make my way back towards my Daddies bedroom and stare at the door. I put my hand on the door knob and slowly twist and push it open. I peak inside the dark room, the only light was coming from the half open window. I squinted and only saw one lump laying in the bed. I quickly shut the door and ran to the front door, unlocking it and opening it. Only one car in the driveway. Daddy never came home.
I shut the door and locked it back up. I stood at the door unsure what to do next. I rubbed my arm nervously and decided to head back to my room. I shut my door all the way and looked around my room as if I will find an answer somewhere. Nothing comes up and I sit against my door and think. I should put my plan into action. If I spend less time with Dad, Dad and Daddy will have more time for each other. Then Daddy will come home! As much as I loved spending time with Dad, I know sometimes sacrifices have to be made! I giggle to myself at the line, I spend way too much time watching Daddy's weird movies!
I look over at my desk and dont see any clothes for today. Daddy always picks out my outfits. My chest suddenly hurt and I whine. I try to ignore it as I make my way to my dresser. I pull out a pair socks and slip them on and search for my jeans, which are still lying on the floor where I changed last night. I walk over to my closet and look over all my shirts. I see my favorite Princess Ana one and pull it off the hanger and quickly change into it. I smile at myself, proud that I was able to dress myself. I open my door and immediately bump into a pair of legs. I almost fall backwards but a hand catches me. No one catches me that fast but Dad! I grin up at him as he helps me stand back up.
“What the hurry, Case?”
I shrug and walk around him, “Breakfast.”
He follows me into the kitchen, “Alright. Well its another snow day so we don't have to worry about the bus.” I nod and go towards the cereal cabinet and pull out the Honey Nut Cheerios. Dad watches me as I jump and grab a clean bowl from the counter. I pull open a drawer and get a regular spoon instead of my usual green Monsters Inc. spoon. I pour my cereal into the bowl and shove the spoon into it and put it on the table. I look up to see that Dad wasn't in the kitchen anymore. I sigh and grab my booster seat from the floor and put it on the chair, using the straps to keep it on the chair. I climb up and eat quietly. I didn't really like dry Cheerios but I didn't always have the best of luck with the milk like I did yesterday.
Once I get done eating I go to hop down from the chair, but as I lean forward I hear a ripping sound. I feel myself going forward and crash onto the floor along with my booster seat. My eyes water as I rub my right arm where I scraped it trying to grab onto something. The noise doesn't seem to be enough to have Dad to come in so I pick myself up, put my booster seat away, and walk to the living room. I stop at the sight. Daddy was standing in front of Dad, who was sitting in his usual brown recliner. I rubbed my arm again as I hid from view to listen.
“I'm collecting my things, Casey and leaving.”
“You can take whatever shit you want but you're not taking Casey. Not with how much you're drinking. Hell, you're not even completely sober right now. Hey, don't give me that look, I know tipsy when I see it, if you forgot half of my family are- well were alcoholics.”
“I'm not an alcoholic, Dave. You don't even know me.”
“Yeah and that's the fucking problem! You don't tell me shit anymore, John. You go off to work, come home, eat, and then go back out to do god knows what. I wouldn't be surprised if you were off with someone else and just don't remember.”
“David.”
“Johnathan.”
There was such a tense silence that I feel like if I moved that they would notice me. I had only heard them call them those names jokingly, but no one was laughing. It was silent for a long time before someone sighed.
“I'll be back for Casey.”
“Not if the courts have any say in this.”
“You're going to drag this to court? Seriously?”
“You need help, John, and I refuse to have Casey watches as one of her parental figures is barely able to keep himself above water. She doesn't need that.”
“She needs me.”
“Obviously she doesn't need either of us! She's been doing everything herself, she has not once come to me for help.”
“She's 12, Dave! She needs someone there to tell her that its okay to need help. She doesn't need coddled but she needs to know that its okay to ask for help. Don't be your Bro.” A smack echoed through the house and then a crash.
“Don't you ever compare me to my brother again.” I peek into the room to see Daddy collapsed onto the, now broken, coffee table. He's holding the side of his face and glaring at Dad.
“You're going to get the divorce papers within the next few weeks.”
“Perfect. And don't think I wont fight you to keep Casey. I would be a terrible father if I gave her to you for just one day. Get out, John.” Dad walked out of the room, right past me, and into his bedroom. Daddy followed behind but slower, and as he passed into the hall he seemed to take notice of me. He stopped and just stared.
“What are you doing, Casey?” Dad comes out of the room at that and you suddenly feel smaller under their gaze.
“I was just uh, finishing breakfast. Sorry.” I hurry past them and goes into my room and closes the door. I put my ear up to the door to see if I hear anyone following me and when I hear nothing I relax. I go over to my Barbies and stare at the inside of the house. I hear noise in the hall, loud voices, a few thumps and then finally the door shut. I walk over to my window and pull back my curtain to see Daddy walking to his car, shoving things into the backseat before getting in and driving off. I watch the car as it goes down the road and disappears around a corner. I let the curtain fall back into place and I rub my arm again, this time not letting go. I feel tears roll down my cheeks as I walk over to my bed, lay down and press my bunny close to me.
Daddy didn't even say goodbye.
---
It was a few weeks after that when Dad told us that we were moving and that I would be spending time at Aunt Rose's when Dad was at work, which would only be at night. I learned that Dad worked midnights at the hospital. That meant he would have time for me during the day but after that I would go to Rose's house to sleep.
I never saw Daddy after that day either. I texted him every morning, but he never responded. After two calendar flips, I stop texting him.
Aunt Rose seemed to know everything, especially when I'm feeling down, when has been a lot. She told me it was ok to be sad and that I could talk to her whenever I wanted to. I never did. Mostly in fear that if I told how I really feel that she would tell my dad.
I finish up my homework, shoving it all back into my backpack and heading upstairs and into my room. It had become more of my home than it did at my Dads apartment. Dad wasn't around as much as I would like him to be, he's busy working though and when he does come home he sleeps most of the time. It start to secretly fear that he'll leave me like Daddy did.
Aunt Rose start to mention more about talking and of course I say no. She doesn't push but does look worried. Aunt Rose started to become more like a parent over time. She would get me up and take me to school, pick me up, help me with homework, let me help cook with her. She played with me and read me weird bed time stories before bed. She even started to teach me violin.
Her constantly being around finally started to make me wonder what she did as a grown up. She never went to work.
“Aunt Rose.” I say, not looking up from my coloring book. She doesn't let me color by myself. I rarely do anything inside my room anymore. I didn't mind, though some alone time was nice once in a while. She did give me my space but most of my day was spent around her.
She looks up from her laptop, “What is it, Casey?”
“What do you do?”
“What do you mean?”
I put my down my crayon and look at her, “Like, for work. You don't go to work. How do you make money?”
“Oh I go to work. I work for my moms company. I take care of the money and make sure they aren't spending too much. Stuff like that. I can do most of it from my home and just send the reports in the mail. Sometimes I need to go to the labs but that's rare, when I do go to the labs I go when you are in school.” I nod in slight understanding, “I also write. I've published a few books and I still profit money off of them.”
“Oh? What do ya write?”
“Adult books.” I wrinkle my nose and look back at my coloring.
“Like love stories?”
“Yes.”
“Love is dumb.”
The clicking on the key board stops, “Oh? Why is that?”
I shrug, “It just is.” Aunt Rose must understand that I don't want to talk about it anymore and the conversation is dropped. I continue to color for a bit before I start asking more questions, “Do you love anyone?”
The clicking stops, “Excuse me?”
“Do you love anyone?” I pause and tap the crayon to my lip and look at her. Her cheeks have a light dusting of pink and she clears her throat.
“I have someone I fancy, yes.” I raise an eyebrow and sit up from my laying position.
“Do I know them?”
“Probably not.”
“Can I meet them one day?” Rose seems startled by my sudden outburst of personal questions and she nods.
“I can bring her by the next time she's off work.” I nod back and go back to staring at my page. “Her name is Kanaya.”
--
I met Kanaya the next day, after school. She's really nice and a lot like Rose but at the same time she wasn't at all. I learned that Kanaya is teaching Aunt Rose to sow and Aunt Rose was teaching her to knit. I input that I was learning to play violin and got embarrassed when she asked if she could hear and I mumbled that I didn't really know any songs yet. She told me that it was ok and when I was ready she would be love to be one of the first to hear me. I grinned, Kanaya was really nice!
Rose was apparently having a sleep over with just the three of us. I was in the middle of getting my hair done by Kanaya. My hair had gotten longer in the past couple months so she was able to easily able to make what she called a 'fish tail braid'. She commented on how soft my hair is and how the golden color was ' absolutely beautiful on you'. She finished the braid and I looked at it in the mirror with the help of Aunt Rose. I wanted to do Kanaya's hair.
“You're going to have to take the towel off your head and face first.” Rose and Kanaya both laughed at that and Kanaya took the thing off her head and set it aside.
“Its called a hijab, Casey.” Kanaya informed her and Casey picked up the cloth and put it over her head.
“Why do you wear it?”
“Well, my whole family wears a hijab for one thing. I don't really have to wear it if I don't want to, but I prefer to wear it. Some wear it to be respectful to their God or prefer it because its just modest.”
I made an 'o' shape with my mouth, “My dad doesn't believe in religion.” Rose made an embarrassed noise and Kanaya laughed and waved a hand.
“Not everyone does and thats ok. Everyone has their own God.” I hummed and messed with the headscarf till I actually noticed Kanaya's hair. Her hair is so long! I scramble up from my sitting position in front of her, up the back of the couch and sit behind her. I put on my serious face.
“You're hair is so long, I don't even know what to do with it. I understand why you want to hide it, someone would want to take it!” Aunt Rose and Kanaya laugh and I pick up her hair, almost not able to put it all into both hands.
“It is quite much. I've been meaning to get it cut, but it seems I never have the time.”
“And you've let it grow out past your shoulders? Gracious.” Aunt Rose muttered and then smiled. “If you want- and trust- I would love to cut your hair.” Kanaya hesitated, “I cannot say that I am an expert but I used to cut Dave's and Roxy's hair all the time.” More silence and I start to, poorly, braid Kanaya's hair. It was a rather long silence because Kanaya's hair went down to the middle of her back.
“It has to heavy carrying it around in your scarf right?” Kanaya made a noise and you're not sure exactly what that meant but it wasn't disapproving. “Maybe a little cut, like to your shoulders, like mine!” More hums.
“Alright. But if we're going to do this, I want my hair cut short. I want my hair just below my ears, no more, no less.” She looks at Rose, the braid slipped from my fingers and slightly came undone. The two stared at each other before Aunt Rose held up a finger and went into another room. Kanaya and I chatted till Rose brought in a chair and a small black box.
“Kanaya you can sit here.” Aunt Rose said as she laid she laid newspapers around the bottom of the chair. Kanaya got up and sat in the chair and spun it to face Aunt Rose.
“Are you absolutely sure?” Aunt Rose gave her a look and made a motion to spin back around. Kanaya spun back around and fidgeted. She looked at me and I gave her a thumbs up and she visibly relaxed a little. I had seen Aunt Rose cut Dad's hair a lot of times, so I know Kanaya is in good hands.
The scissors and a comb were pulled out along with a spray bottle. She sprayed water all over Kanaya's hair and took out what was left of the braid. After a few times combing through her hair Aunt Rose took out the scissors and Kanaya took a deep breath. There was a snipping sound and Kanaya's fingers gripped the arm rests. I frowned, hair cuts didn't hurt, I had a few of them and they only hurt when my hair was being brushed.
I hopped off the couch, walking over to Kanaya and taking one of her hands. She opened her eyes and looked down at me. I smiled and she smiled back, squeezing my hands lightly.
Kanaya relaxed a lot after that and Aunt Rose still had a long way to go so I picked up my ipod and played a few games. Normally, Aunt Rose doesn't let me play a lot of electronic games but she seemed to be too busy. I soon got bored of playing Temple Run and was about to turn it off when a text message popped up. I didn't recognize the number. I glanced over to Aunt Rose who was still busy. I opened the text.
I nearly dropped the phone and quickly glanced at Aunt Rose then back at the text.
I hesitate. What do I even say to that?
I frown and look up at Aunt Rose. I haven't seen Dad in a long time and whenever I try to ask Aunt Rose she just says that he's busy.
There was a long pause and I wondered if my ipod was acting up when a message finally popped up. ' I love you.'
I hover my fingers over the letters and bite my lip. 'I know.'
I turn off my ipod and look at my reflection on the black screen. I touch my face and then run my hands through my hair. If Daddy loved me so much why wasn't he ever here? Where was Dad? What happened to Aunt Jade? I hadn't talked to any of them in such a long time. An uncomfortable feeling squeezed my chest.
I set my ipod beside me and looked up to check on Kanaya. My eyes widened when I saw all the hair on the floor. I looked up to see Aunt Rose snipping away in the front. I get up and walk over to where I could see better and gasp. Kanaya's eyes looked over to me.
“Is it bad?” Aunt Rose lightly smacked her shoulder.
I shake my head, “No, you're even more beautiful!” Kanaya blushed and looked up at Rose and seemed to immediately get lost in thought. I pouted and decided to make myself useful and go get the broom. I fast walked into kitchen (no running allowed!) and grabbed the broom and dust pan.
I fast walk back out and get ready to go to work but Aunt Rose holds up a hand. “No, Casey. I made sure to cut it off in such a way that we could tie it up and send it off to companies that make wigs for children who have lost their hair. I made an 'ohh' sound and ran back to put the stuff away. I came back and Aunt Rose was brushing away the stray hairs, fixing and then went to styling.
I sat in awe as Kanaya went from beautiful to gorgeous. Her hair was now flipped out in the back but curled around the front of her face, and now had bangs that were swept to the side. Kanaya was getting anxious, I could tell by the way she tried to stay still and kept asking to see it, Aunt Rose always saying, 'just a moment'. After five more 'just a moment''s, she finally stepped back and looked over Kanaya, then handing her a mirror. Kanaya took a deep breath and looked into it and stared.
It was silent for a long time and I think Aunt Rose and I were thinking the same thing. She looked nervous. Did Kanaya hate it? Finally,
“Rose... I...I love it.” Kanaya daintily touched her hair. “Sorry if it seemed like I didn't like it. I do. It's just a shock to my system is all.” She finally looks up at Aunt Rose and smiles. “Thank you so much, Rose.” Aunt Rose's face turns a light shade of pink and she smiles and adverts her eyes.
“It's no problem. I'm sure it will be a lot cooler now.” Kanaya nods, looks in the mirror once more and then stands up, walking to Rose and giving her a kiss on the cheek. I grin and cover my mouth. They stand there looking at each others eyes. Looks like its my time to leave! I grab my ipod and go into my room, quietly shutting the door. I lean against my door and smile to myself and as soon as it came it went away. Dad and Daddy used to look at each other that way too.
I open up my ipod and re-read my text with Daddy. I close it and open up a new message.
I put my phone down for a minute, grab a scarf from a drawer and wrap it around my head. I ran to the mirror to make sure all my hair was tucked away. I grinned, I look as beautiful as Kanaya! My ipod makes a notification sound so I run back to the bed and pick up the phone.
I puffed out my cheeks. How could he ask such a thing? I waited and waited for a reply but none came. I set down my ipod and let out a long sigh. I knew a few kids at school who didn't grow up with their parents and were adopted or put into 'foster homes'. I was adopted once and then lost my parents again, then started living with Aunt Rose. Does that count as me getting adopted twice? My chest felt tight again. What was I doing wrong? What if Aunt Rose decided she didn't want me either? I picked myself up from off the floor, flipped the light off and flopped down onto my bed, turning over to look up at the glowing star stickers on the ceiling. I looked at the shooting star, it may not be real, but it didn't stop me from wishing on it anyway.
--
I was dropped off at school but Aunt Rose and walked into my classroom before being told, like everyday, that I would be picked up at 3:15. I made my way to my usual seat, beside my best friend, Red.
“Hey, Case” Red grinned over at me and held up her fist. I bumped it and turned to her all serious like. Red straightened up immediately. “What's up?”
“Okay so you know how I'm adopted, right?” Red nodded, “Well, as you know my Daddies kinda just disappeared and now I live with Aunt Rose. N' I was wondering if that you can be adopted twice or do you keep moving around homes like the foster kids do?”
Red looked horrified, “You're not going to be put into a foster home! Or any other than your Aunts! If you do, well I will have no choice but to have you live with me.” I grin and we do another fist bump before going back to be serious.
“Really though, what if Aunt Rose decides she doesn't want me like my Daddies did?”
Red frowned and opened her mouth but the teacher started talking and she shut her mouth and mouthed, 'lunch'. I nodded and opened up my spelling book, ugh, I forgot to do my homework! The teacher is already coming around to collect the papers so there's no time to do it. Well, it is a sub so maybe she'll cut me some slack. She comes to my desk and I hand her my paper, she looks over it and frowns.
“Casey. Why didn't you do your homework?” I roll my eyes. Why does she have to call people out? I'm only in fourth grade and I know public humiliation in the class room is wrong.
“I don't know, Miss...” I looked to the board and see no name, “Miss Whatever, I didn't do it because I knew it would personally tick you off.” The ladies frown deepens and looks slightly angry.
“It's Miss Serket. You would know if you weren't busy talking to your friend.” She looks at Red and takes her paper, looking over it. “See, your friend knows how school works.”
“Apparently you don't since you're stuck as a sub.” The room is dead silent and I stand up and started walking to the door. “I know, to the principles office.”
I walk out of the office at the end of the day behind Aunt Rose who looks embarrassed and worried. It's silent all the way to the car. I get into the back seat and buckle myself in. Rose sits in the front seat, not moving. Not even starting the car up. I look out the window and see Red following her parents out the school and to their car. Her parents were really nice. Her dad was a bit loud and said a lot of words I wasn't allowed to repeat but he was a good caring guy. Her mom was crazy, in a good way. She is legally blind and claims she can taste colors and words.
I watch as her mom tries to get into the drivers seat and I barely hear her dad yelling something as his wife cracks up and is lead to the passenger side forcefully but Red and her dad. I feel my chest tighten again and I cross my arms hard across my chest.
I look over to see Aunt Rose turned to look at me. I immediately move my eyes back to the window, not really paying attention to anything, just hoping she doesn't start talking. She does anyway.
“Casey Elizabeth Strider-Egbert. What has gotten into you?” I keep my eyes out the window and lips tight. She sighs when she realize she isn't going to get anything from me and starts the car, pulling out. I watch the scenery go by, lost in thought. As I come out of it I notice this wasn't the usual way to Aunt Rose's house. Panic hits me in the stomach. Was she going to send me away too? The ride is silent as we head out of town and into a more country setting. We drive past fields and fields of pretty much nothing. Just a lot of corn. Boring. Was Aunt Rose going to drop me off in the middle of no where by myself? did she not love me anymore? Why does everyone stop loving me? I watch the clouds, spacing out about my doom till I feel the car slow. I look up and see us pulling into a small building with a barn out back.
Was she so disappointed she took me out of the city? To some farm? This was worse than being dumped by myself in the middle of nowhere! I'm going to be in the middle of no where with some stranger! I didn't even get to say goodbye to Red! Why didn't I get a say in where I live? Being young is stupid. Aunt Rose is suddenly talking and it falls on mostly deaf ears. She said something about being right back and got out of the car and towards the small house. I watch as she goes and knocks on the door, waiting. The door opens but I don't get a good look at who it is as she looks back at me and goes inside, closing the door. I pucker my lips, not fair.
I look outside and notice how clear the sky is. I unbuckle my seat belt and pull on the door handle, locked. Child proof lock. I let out a frustrated sigh and crawl to the drivers side and open the door. Success! I climb out of the seat and my shoes hit the hard dirty ground. I shut the door slowly and quietly so I don't alert anyone. I look up at the slightly cloudy sky, watch as they slowly move to who knows where.
Hey! I could be a like a cloud. They move across the sky without a care in the world. They make beautiful creative pictures in the sky. I could be a cloud. I decided I'm a cloud. I walk forward, away from the car, away from the house and to the street. The heat of the pavement hit my face and I back away a bit. I look both ways and its completely empty. Across the street was a big corn field. I look back at the house, look both ways at the street and cross, entering the field. I run my hand over the tall stalks of corn as I walk forward, without a purpose. I walk faster and eventually I'm running and laughing without a care in the world. I trip but quickly get back up and keep on running. I run until I run out of breath and I flop down onto the dirt. I lay down and let my arms flop out beside me and look back up at the sky as I try to slow down my breathing. I yawn and my stomach rumbles. I didn't really need to worry about food, I had all this corn! And the left over husks made a nice soft bed.
I bunch of them together and lay back down, eventually closing my eyes. If no one wanted me, I can just make my own home.
--
I woke up and its pitch black. I can't see a thing around me. I sit up and the husks crackle. I take another blink look around, searching for any light and find none. I stand up and spin around, the leaves from the stocks hitting me in the face. Its slightly windy. I rub my arm as I stand in place wondering what to do. I could go back to sleep, but I had never slept without my princess night light! Or any night light.
“...Rose?” I call out hopefully. I hear nothing and sigh. It wasn't like she was looking for me anyway. She's passing me off to someone in the middle of nowhere. I decide to walk forward, arms reached out to make to I don't run into anything. The only things my hands touch are corn so it wasn't very exciting for eventful. The only sounds were my hands hitting the stocks and the crunch of sticks, husks and straw. Finally, after what felt like forever of walking my hands hit something cold and metal. I move keep my hand on it as I move around it. It seemed to be round in shape and pretty large, or, at least I assume it is, seeing as how I couldn't actually see. I think I'm on my second time around when I feel my hand hit something. I grab at it and feel it, its a handle. I tightly wrap my fingers around it and pull. It didn't budge. I pull harder and it creaks, I grin and pull as hard as I can, digging my feet into the ground as it slowly slides open, a small amount of light coming from it. I stop and feel my way over to find the open spot. I squeeze in and look around. It was full of large sacks of something I cant read and bails of hay. Lots of hay. There was a small lantern on a wooden table partially lighting up the round room. The ceiling was really high up and it was probably pointed on the outside.
I walk over and pick up the lantern and set it down on a clear spot on the ground and look at the sacks. I pat one and it seemed soft enough. I looked at the sack and tried to read the letters, “C-O-R-N. G.R.A.I.N.” My eyebrows rise. Corn? I guess what wasn't too surprising. I just didn't realize corn came in bags. I shrug and decide it was soft enough to sleep on, so I grab the edge of the sack and pull. My fingers slip and I fall backwards onto my butt. I huff and cross my arms. I stand back up and carefully climb up up onto a small stack of them and lay on my back, looking up at the dark ceiling. I shiver and wrap my arms around my self. Tomorrow would be better.