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Matsukawa Issei was sitting on a barstool in a small pub on the border between the Shiratorizawa Dynasty and the Kingdom of Aoba Johsai, listening to the chatter between two particularly loud patrons. They were talking about his idiot younger brother, the nation’s new king. Isamu was exercising his power over the people at any chance he got, passing laws quickly and without much thought and even going as far as to execute any opposition. What was Issei to expect, though? Isamu was the youngest of three children. He was spoiled right from birth because he was not expected to ever take the throne. However, their sister had eloped with a peasant man from the Johzenji Kingdom, and Issei, although he was not an idiot, did not care for his position as first in line. He had ruled the kingdom for around a year, and despite his success, it was quite boring. There was no war to command his armies during, and there was no political turmoil that would turn the kingdoms of the Miyagi Empire against each other. The most exciting it had gotten was when he would go to meetings with the other five other rulers, and King Wakatoshi of the Shiratorizawa Dynasty would chase after one of Issei’s personal guards and the general of his strongest army, Oikawa Tooru.
And as a result of his boredom, Matsukawa Issei abdicated his throne in a short letter he left on his desk before jumping out his window to search for something that piqued his interest. It had been two months since then, and in that time, his brother had taken over and driven the kingdom to near collapse. The two most worrisome cases were the Karasuno-Aoba Johsai alliance along with the kingdom’s relations with the all-female Democracy of Niiyama. The Kingdom of Karasuno was a highly influential nation. They had alliances with countries outside of the Miyagi Empire, which consisted of their own kingdom, the Kingdom of Aoba Johsai, the Shiratorizawa Dynasty, the Johzenji Kingdom, the Kingdom of Date Tech, and the Democracy of Niiyama. The most important alliance was with the United Kingdoms of Fukurodani. With relations with Karasumo put at risk, it also put their relations with the entirety of Fukurodani at risk. And it certainly did not help that Isamu had a misogynistic streak, putting the kingdom at odds with the Democracy of Niiyama. It would cause terrible problems if Aoba Johsai became an enemy of that nation because every other kingdom in the Miyagi Empire thought of Niiyama as their little sister country. Not only was Niiyama comprised of women who had left the other nations—and thus, the family members of many citizens in the Miyagi Empire—, but Amanai Kanoka, the country’s elected ruler, was universally loved and trusted throughout each kingdom.
To add to his brother’s idiocy, he did a number of things and passed a number of laws with which many in Aoba Johsai and the entirety of the Miyagi Empire disagreed.
“That damn bastard passed Prohibition because he wants to keep all the good booze to himself! Now, all we’re left with is whatever this crap is!” one of those two aforementioned patrons yelled, staring into his cup with a repulsed look on his face. Issei could not agree more, although he was not a fan of liquor himself. He watched as the liquid sloshed around in his glass, nearly splashing up into his nose.
The other man chimed in, saying, “As much as that dumbass Matsukawa Issei is obviously a deadbeat flake, he at least seemed to do what was in the interest of the citizens all the while making the kingdom more prosperous. Even though he abandoned the throne, I would take him back as our king any day over his damn brother.” The man stopped talking as the bell above the door sounded.
No! Keep going! Stroke my ego even more! he thought to himself. But they didn’t say anything else. His shoulders slumped. He immediately bounced back, though, reminding himself that he should not let Oikawa influence him. As he slid some golden coins across the table with a yawn, a man with pinkish-brown short hair and a nice forehead plopped down in the seat next to him.
“Leaving already? And here I was hoping I could strike up a conversation with the guy with the sexiest caterpillar eyebrows I’ve seen all day,” the man said with a fake pout. Issei laughed at that and turned to the person who had piqued his interest, whose eyes were now wide and his cheeks red. “Damn, wait! I said that, but I wasn’t expecting you to actually be really hot!”
Issei’s smile widened. “So the eyebrows weren’t telling enough already?” The other man returned his grin, revealing nicely kept white teeth. Issei leaned in close to the guy’s ear, which clearly made his blush become even more prominent, and said in a low, gruff tone, “The name’s Masachika Isao, 25-year-old bachelor and traveler. It’s nice to meet you, Pinky.” Pulling back, he grinned as he observed the blush spread across the man’s face and down his neck. It was absolutely adorable. The words still seemed to be processing in the other’s head as more people walked into the bar. This time it was a group, and when Issei caught sight of the members, he stood up swiftly to leave.
“Iwa-chan! I searched for Matsu-chan for a whole month, but I couldn’t find him at all! He’s too good at these types of games! And anyway, maybe it was for the better, seeing as Ya-chan received an oracle from that old witch, telling her that she was the one to find him!” Issei could recognize Oikawa’s whiny tone anywhere, even without the nicknames that would immediately give him away otherwise. And an oracle? Goddamnit, Issei did not want to be dragged back to the throne by destiny. “Oh! Look, there's Makki-chan! I found him! And he’s sitting next to… Who is that, Makki-chan?”
Oh, shit.
Issei had to escape. Despite how he often presented himself, Oikawa was not dumb. He was probably on the same level, if not higher, than Issei himself, although Issei would never admit that aloud. Oikawa’s ego was already big enough.
“Wait a second!” Goddamnit!
“What is it, Loserkawa? Don’t just leave us in suspense like that.” And even worse, Iwaizumi was with Oikawa. Issei was so tempted to just yell “Get a room!” like he usually would, but that would give him away to all of them. As smart as Oikawa was, he was very dramatic, meaning he would drag out his response to add to the suspense. And that meant Issei had time to escape. He glanced around quickly without fully turning to face anyone but the pinkish-brown-haired guy, who had now been revealed to be part of the group of people trying to drag him back to the throne. He had to leave before he willingly went with them if the intriguing “Makki-chan” asked him to. The only escape route he could see—because the group of people with Oikawa and Iwaizumi was blocking the only door—was through the window. But these windows did not open. Oh, fuck it! Isamu probably already has me on a list of fugitives, anyway, so it doesn’t matter if I break any laws at this point!
And then he found himself breaking the pub’s big bay window, landing less than gracefully on the dirt path leading into the Shiratorizawa Dynasty. He cackled as he heard the calls of Oikawa and friends, as well as the bar’s owner. This was certainly more fun than being a king.
He could hear Iwaizumi yelling at Oikawa. “Oikawa, who the hell was that? Why did he jump out of the window?”
“Iwa-chan, that was Matsu-chan! I’d recognize his curls anywhere!” After a second, it seemed to really hit Iwaizumi, and Issei heard an “Ow! You’re so mean to me, Iwa-chan!”
Before he was completely out of earshot, he heard one last voice say, “Wait, that was King Issei? Damn, he is way hotter than I thought he would be!”
Issei smiled to himself as he disappeared from their sight into the Witches’ Forest, the shared domain of Yahaba of Aoba Johsai and Shirabu of Shiratorizawa. As long as he didn’t hurt the forest creatures, he was allowed to into their territory due to his royal status. Yahaba also seemed to take a particular liking to him—okay, so mainly to Oikawa but detail, details. That could be a disadvantage, but Shirabu did not like Oikawa at all. He would probably be a lot stricter with him. The white trees, for which the forest was known throughout the Miyagi Empire, added an ethereal air to the place, along with the blue mist flowers, which gave off an angelic scent and released a harmless light blue mist into the air. Unfortunately, that mist thickened as one ventured further into the forest, and soon enough, Issei found himself slipping on a slick piece of ground. Except it wasn’t ground. It was a sword that's tip was now pressed against Issei’s neck. Slowly getting onto his knees, he picked the sword up, examining it. It was obviously expensive but would be absolutely useless in battle. For some reason, whoever had crafted it had made it out of glass, and it was decorated with needless jewels. Who the hell would want this sword? It sucks! Issei thought to himself.
Lost in his own thoughts of criticism, he did not hear the group of six approaching him in the forest. They watched as he examined the sword, the small blonde girl with a look of nervous excitement in her eyes and the black-haired woman standing next to her with cool disinterest. There was a boy with grayish-green hair standing on the other side of the blonde one who had his arm wrapped around her in excitement. Iwaizumi, Oikawa, and Makki-chan stood behind them, watching quietly with unreadable expressions. Finally, Issei looked up but did not seem to notice his observers. He looked pissed, although that was only noticeable to the three in the back. Without even glancing at any of them, he stalked out of the forest, the sword slung over his shoulder. They followed as he exited quickly, knowing the best route to get out of there.
The six continued to watch him, some with amusement and others with confusion and still others with apathy, as he placed the sword on the dirt road and went off to find something. He returned with a heavy, iron mallet, much to the bewilderment of the four who had not previously known him. Issei stood in front of the sword with a grin that sent shivers down all of their spines. In one seamlessly swift movement, he raised the mallet above his head, bringing it down on the sword. As it shattered and he continued to do the same thing repeatedly, he yelled, “You stupid fucking waste of resources! What is the point of this dumbass sword if you can’t fight with it? Only someone as idiotic as that idiot Isamu would make something so wasteful of the resources in the Miyagi Empire! This glass could have been spent on that window that I just broke, but it just had to be spent on a useless display sword! What a fucking waste!” By that point, the blonde one was hiding in the arms of the two who stood next to her as they looked on, utterly shocked. The sword was completely shattered, only the gemstones embedded in it were left. Soon enough, Issei was bent over the gemstones, picking them up while getting cut on the shards of glass. He stood up straight and began walking in the direction of the pub. The group followed hesitantly, and when they reached the bar, they were surprised—well, not Iwaizumi, Oikawa, or Makki-chan—to see him handing the mallet to the owner, along with the gemstones from the sword. The owner seemed to be as confused as the blonde, the green-haired, and the black-haired ones.
Issei turned around with a wave and finally noticed the people who had been watching all that time. “Oh, shit,” he gasped, trying to run. However, before he could, Makki-chan caught up to him with impressive speed, wrapping an arm around his neck and pressing a dagger to it. Issei gulped audibly, the blade drawing a small bit of blood. He opened his mouth to speak, the sound coming out a bit strangled. “Makki-chan, as hot as you are right now and as much as I want you to ride me and vice versa, I would really appreciate it if you let me go. You see, I would not like to have a hard-on while trying to run away from you guys.”
Makki-chan scoffed. “Like you could get away from me.”
“It’s true that you do make me weak at the knees, especially with your breath running down my neck… Wait, I don’t know where I was going with that.”
“Makki-chan, hold him really tightly! He’s slippery!” Oikawa said as he jogged toward the two. When he got to them, he grabbed Issei’s hands, tying them behind his back with rope. Makki-chan released his grip around Issei’s neck, pulling out a cloth to wipe the blood from it and then moving down further to his hands. Although his face had a bored-looking expression on it, his cheeks were tinted with red.
“My dick-”
“Shut up, Issei,” Iwaizumi interjected, glaring at him as he approached to stand next to Oikawa. “What the hell were you thinking, abandoning your position like that? What is wrong with you? You know your brother is a danger to the kingdom’s prosperity. Why did you flake? Do you know how much danger this nation is now in because you decided to do whatever you wanted?”
Before Issei could even attempt to answer any of those questions, the blonde girl walked up to him and stuck her hand out for him to shake, which he couldn’t do because his hands were tied behind his back. She seemed to realize that a moment later as he blankly stared at her, her face heating up from embarrassment. “H-Hi! I’m Yachi!” she said, stumbling over her words.
Yachi seemed to be quaking under his gaze as he observed her every movement. She was clearly a nervous wreck, avoiding his eyes and fidgeting with her fingers. Not once did she even look at his face during her introduction, and she could only muster a shaky smile. She was intimidated by him. Issei sighed, and for the first time, she looked at his face. “It’s nice to meet you, Yachi,” he said with a small smile on his face. “May I ask why you are working with these two utter buffoons?” He hinted towards Oikawa, who looked offended, and Iwaizumi, who just clicked his tongue.
“Um… Y-Yes!” she responded. Issei stared at her expectantly, waiting for her reason. It didn’t come for quite a while. An awkward silence had settled over the group, much to the amusement of both Makki-chan and Issei—although his was lessened slightly by the discomfort of his hands being tied behind his back. In the time it was taking for Yachi to realize that she was supposed to tell him why, Makki had wrapped his arms around Issei’s neck and rested his chin on his left shoulder. It must have been a bit uncomfortable for him, seeing as he was about two inches shorter than Issei, so Issei bent his knees a little. He could feel Makki-chan smile against his neck as he did so. With two intimidatingly tall guys now staring down at her, Yachi seemed to realize that she was supposed to explain why she was helping Iwaizumi and Oikawa. “Oh! You see, s-sir, a witch named Ono Minaho told me that she had foreseen great turmoil and war if King Isamu continued his rule. A-And she told me that the Kingdom of Karasuno would be ravaged by starvation and suspicion if war broke out. When I asked her why she came to me, she told me that, with Kiyoko and Tadashi, I should set out to find you. O-On the journey, we were supposed to encounter three willing helpers. She told us we would know who they were when we saw them. A-And for some reason, the third of those helpers was supposed to present you with a bejeweled sword that would intrigue you so much that you would return without protest.”
“I think I shattered your sword,” Issei stated with a deadpan expression on his face. Makki-chan let out a cute chuckle but stopped when Yachi nodded, tears filling her eyes. Issei sighed, turning his head to the man with pinkish-brown hair. “Babe, can you untie my hands. If I try to run, you can do whatever you want to me when you catch me.” He winked, and Makki-chan’s cheeks turned a light shade of pink. It wasn’t like he would run, anyway, not with Iwaizumi’s hand already on his sword, just waiting for the moment when he tried. Makki-chan complied, and once his hands were free, he placed one of them on top of Yachi’s head and ruffled her hair. She looked up at him with regret in her eyes, and he smiled softly at her. “Yachi, I know I make an awesome king, but this is practically slavery.” For that comment, he received a kick in the ass from Iwaizumi. “Fuck, Iwa, what the hell? I didn’t choose to be the king. It’s a birthright that I didn’t ask for. At least you got to choose that you wanted to serve my family. I get no say in the matter unless I do what my sister did. Just make my idiot brother fall in love with someone who’s smart enough to rule a kingdom well and make them manipulate him. Easy enough. He’s a fool.”
Iwaizumi looked like he was about to protest, but Oikawa spoke up before he could. “I actually have the perfect candidate for that!” he said with a mischievous smile. Everyone looked at him in surprise, their expressions clearly asking who that might be. Oikawa’s smile grew. “Makki-chan!”
“What?” Makki-chan and Issei growled at the same time.
“That’s right, Makki-chan. You are very intelligent, and I’ve heard all of your ideas for the kingdom. They’re pretty great!” Iwaizumi, Makki-chan, and Issei, at that point, had caught onto what he was saying.
Although he knew it was a trap, Issei couldn’t help but fall for it. “No,” he said as Makki-chan’s arms snaked around his waist. As much as Makki-chan would like Issei to become king again and knew what Oikawa was scheming, he didn’t want to even imagine being married off to Isamu. And besides, he had found someone to whom he might want to give an opportunity, even after all his years of avoiding even the thought of love after his parents’ divorce.
Oikawa smirked, knowing that his plot was working. “No?”
“Makki-chan doesn’t want to,” he said, feeling Makki-chan’s emotions as he gripped Issei’s waist. His breathing was shallow and uncomfortable, but as Issei said that, he could feel him smile against his neck again.
Next to his ear, Makki-chan mumbled, “My name’s Hanamaki Takahiro. Call me whatever you want, just not Makki-chan. I hear that enough from Oikawa Hanger.” At his nickname for Oikawa, Issei snorted, reaching behind himself to ruffle Hiro’s hair.
“Well, he’s gonna have to. Unless someone returns to his rightful position as king.” Oikawa really was a scheming bastard. Oh, who gives a damn anymore? As long as Hiro’s by my side, I suppose I can take back the throne.
“I hate you, Oikawa Hanger.” Hiro giggled as Oikawa’s face contorted in a look of exaggerated hurt. But it quickly went back to being his usual stupidly cocky expression.
“So is that a yes?”
“If Hiro agrees to be by my side, then it is.”
“I do.”
“Damn, why are you guys exchanging wedding vows before I even get a boyfriend?” Oikawa asked with a stupid pout on his face.
Issei rolled his eyes, but this smile gave away the fact that he was not as annoyed as he tried to seem. “Just date your Iwa-chan.” He could feel Hiro nod his head along with what he had said. Even Yachi and the other two showed that they agreed with him.
Oikawa boldly turned to Iwaizumi, Issei raising his eyebrows in surprise. Would Oikawa finally make a move? “Iwa-”
“Not yet,” Iwaizumi responded, cutting Oikawa off. A second later, he realized he had added ‘yet,’ but before he could take it back, Oikawa was already attached to his arm, ranting about their first date options and asking when he would be ready.
Hiro and Issei both laughed at the two idiots, and after Hiro jumped on Issei’s back, Issei easily catching him and carrying him piggyback style, he began walking down the dirt road toward the castle at the center of the Kingdom of Aoba Johsai. The others followed them, and Oikawa’s and Iwaizumi’s voices disappeared, the group becoming silent in the cool autumn air. After a few minutes of walking like that, Hiro broke the silence, asking, “Isn’t this technically fulfilling the oracle? I mean, ‘sword’ could be a metaphor for dick, and my dick is plenty bejeweled.” As excitement flashed in Issei’s eyes, everyone else groaned in disgust. Hiro just laughed.
-_-_-_-_-_-
“King Issei, I am happy to see you back at these meetings instead of your idiot brother, but who is this?” King Daichi of the Kingdom of Karasuno asked him. It had been a month since Issei had decided to return to his position as king. It was fairly easy to reclaim his throne, and despite his abdication, everyone was eager to accept him as their ruler. The rest of the time was spent repairing the damage done by his brother within the country. Now, at the meeting with the other rulers, it was time for him to resolve the problems with the other kingdoms.
King Daichi was talking about the pinkish-brown-haired man who was now seated on King Issei’s lap, his arms wrapped around his neck. “This is my ho,” he responded simply, kissing Hiro’s forehead as King Daichi shook his head tiredly.
“Baby, we are each others’ hoes. Don’t pretend you’re the top in this relationship,” Hiro said, returning the kiss on King Issei’s neck. Every other ruler in the room groaned, although they were all smiling internally, glad to have the smarter and more tactful idiot back on Aoba Johsai’s throne.