Chapter Text
Shigaraki had been a gangster from the day he had been adopted. And being the son of the kingpin in charge of said gang had not made his life easy. For most gangsters it was hard enough not getting shot or stabbed to death, but for Shigaraki the risks of that were increased tenfold. So he had to be better than your average gangster, or else he’d be a stain on the pavement, or a corpse at the bottom of the sea. And even so, despite proving himself capable of surviving against all the odds time and time again, the others in his father’s gang didn’t think he was strong, and just a feeble little boy, and not the adult that he was.
The younger generation in All For One’s gang were always scorned by the elders. Especially when one of those youngster’s left the gang by burning multiple of his co-workers alive as a ‘fuck you’ and resignation to All For One. Shigaraki hadn’t seen Dabi since then, but that crazy jerk was probably dead in a ditch by now. The gang had been furious and had become more hateful of the youngsters ever since.
“They fear what they can’t control, and they can’t control me!” Dabi had declared to Shigaraki, days before his departure. Shigaraki should have seen it as a red-flag back then, but Dabi had always been spontaneous and impulsive. A loose-cannon, even towards the very gang that he had been a part of. He hadn’t seemed to fear anyone, not even All For One. And since Dabi had been a guy with skill, he had been useful to keep around, right up until Dabi decided that he didn’t like being told what to do.
Shigaraki and Dabi had never got along. So the fact that Dabi hadn’t set Shigaraki on fire as a ‘goodbye’ had been a relief. The two had always bickered, and had gotten into a few physical brawls, and Shigaraki had even threatened Dabi by holding a knife up to his neck at one point. But hey, Shigaraki considered it a lucky escape.
If Dabi was alive then All For One wouldn’t allow that for very long. Dabi had basically spat at the man in charge and had made a mockery out of him, and his gang, for not being able to stop one guy from leaving with a few souls along with him. What was even the point of leaving when you had to spend your life on the run anyway? Not to mention that Dabi had more than one enemy on his back.
“Maybe you and I should ditch this charade and make our own little gang. Doesn’t that sweet, just you and me? We’ll make something better than this shit-show, with all these stiffs around,” Dabi had said one day, as the two tussled and were bloody and bruised, with Shigaraki’s hands wrapped around Dabi’s collar, ready to wrap around the bastard’s neck who grinned with blood dribbling from his lips.
Shigaraki hadn’t thought the guy had been serious. He was always like that, always pushing buttons and pissing people off for his own amusement. Because Dabi would sooner light someone on fire than let them be on the same level as him. As if nothing mattered to him. He was as cold as gangsters could get, but seemed to get something out of killing. Maybe it was the thrill of the hunt, and perhaps even now he took delight out of being hunted himself.
Well, it had been a year since then, and no signs of Dabi. Asides from a few suspicious cases involving burning, but arsonists weren’t all that uncommon in their line of work. There was even an entire gang associated with fire, but Dabi wasn’t a part of it and didn’t seem to have any connection to it.
Right now the Shie Hassaikai were the bigshots in the city, as they were a yakuza group that were gaining respect and wealth like wildfire, and All For One didn’t like that. He liked to be the biggest kingpin in the city, but starting an all-out war with them would be pure stupidity, or just pure arrogance…right?
So of course, at a meeting with All For One and various of his lackeys, Shigaraki sighed in annoyance when the man in charge decided that yes, he wanted to end the reign of the Shie Hassaikai for good rather than just accept being the second best criminal organisation in the city, or to have a treaty with them. Shigaraki kept quiet, as he always did, as the other older men in the gang agreed, all ‘yes-men’, all wanting blood more than they wanted to live or make an actual profit. Because why not just trade goods with the yakuza? But no, old men wanted to fight a war and hey, why was he even surprised?
Ever since Dabi left, Shigaraki had been questioning All For One more and more. He used to be so devoted to him and his teachings. Until he got to go outside, see the world, and learned that maybe being trained for this kind of life wasn’t actually a normal childhood. He used to think that everyone in the world was in a gang. All For One hadn’t taught him anything different. So it had been confusing to learn that this life wasn’t a universal experience, and that schools were indeed a thing. Imagine that. He had never been to a school, though he had been taught to read and write by a tutor, and had used video games to help him learn more about the world (well, kind of, as video games were purely fictional, but they could be educational, and the real world made his skin crawl and itch).
“The Shie Hassaikai are our public enemies from here on out. Don’t do business with them, don’t associate with them unless you’re under my orders, got it?” All For One said, addressing his underlings. “We’re going to tear them to the ground and send them packing. This is a war, and they’re a mockery of everything that criminal organisations stand for!”
The crowd roared with praise, but Shigaraki really didn’t get it. A mockery? Of what? The Shie Hassaikai were doing so well because they owned some legal (for the most part) businesses and were often open to making deals with other gangs. Obviously they fought with other gangs, and did crime, but their public reputation was good because they kept up a friendly image to civilians. They were approachable, unlike the men under All For One’s thumb. Shigaraki sure as hell didn’t look approachable. Dabi had called him a ‘hyena’ more than once. A mad hyena was pretty spot on, though Dabi had seemed to fit that insult even more.
And over the next few days, All For One did send out his lackeys to attack the Shie Hassaikai and sabotage their businesses, you know, like an idiot. Because like a shaken bee’s nest, the Shie Hassaikai hit back and stole some of their goods (an expensive shipment of guns). The entire thing went back and forth, and Shigaraki kept to himself as the insanity continued, not taking part in it himself and glad that All For One didn’t care enough about him to notice, because when All For One was feeling power-hungry, he was blind to everything else. Even the boy he had adopted, and had tried to shape to be the next in line to inherit the gang.
Right up until, oh, Shigaraki suddenly became useful because he was actually competent? So All For One sent him, along with some of the older men, to a warehouse owned by the Shie Hassaikai to steal some medical shipments. They took out the guards, easily enough, with Shigaraki at the back, because the men didn’t see him as useful and felt the need to prove themselves capable in front of the ‘feeble’ son of their boss. All the while whispering and snickering at him, and he was used to that. Snapping their necks would have proven just how capable he was compared to them, but All For One wouldn’t like that. And when he wasn’t happy he didn’t exactly just use his words.
They cleared the warehouse with little trouble, as it really wasn’t heavily guarded at all. Odd, but not unheard of if this was a surprise attack.
While some of the men got the supplies ready for transporting by stuffing them into duffle-bags, Shigaraki froze up when he heard whistling, and the tap of heavy boots on the pavement. Not only that but he smelt smoke, and his senses went haywire.
“…Oh? Naughty, naughty. Thought it was a false call, but huh, seems like some little ants crawled right into the honey. Ever set ants on fire before?” a voice said, as Dabi himself rounded a corner, alone, and with a lighter in one hand, and a gun in the other. “No, that would be fucked up!” Dabi exclaimed, as he dodged back into cover, as bullets rained down at him. “I would never do that to ants! But people, though? Ha…let’s find out!”
Shigaraki felt strangely unnerved, and sick, and even though he had not used to fear Dabi, he had seen what exactly Dabi did to his victims during his departure. Now it felt different, because now Dabi wasn’t a part of the same gang. He really could do whatever he wanted. Shigaraki had no immunity here.
So Shigaraki edged away, world seeming to blur as the men went after Dabi, and they seemed to burst into flames before his very eyes, because he couldn’t focus on what was happening. He kept backing away, and wanted to run, and that was so unlike him.
It was over surprisingly quick, or not so surprising, because Dabi had always been skilled. Both with fire, and with bullets.
And Shigaraki was the only one left. He hadn’t run. He told himself it was his own pride, and not because he felt glued to the spot. And stayed that way as Dabi tilted his head to the side with a mad grin, and pointed his gun at him. “One left? …Oh, is that Shigaraki? Is that you?”
“…Yeah.”
“It is! Your hair’s longer, you know? Didn’t recognise you at first.” He put his gun away, probably because Shigaraki’s wasn’t even drawn. He kept his lighter out though. “Why didn’t you say so sooner? I could’ve shot you!” And then he advanced, and Shigaraki felt himself backing away slowly, until his back met the wall. “How’ve you been?” Dabi asked, stopping a distance from him, peering at him with his usual cold blue eyes.
“Oh, you know, this and that. And what about you?” Shigaraki said, a bit too quickly, his mind blanking on a better response.
Dabi smirked, in an unhinged way, which meant he was still on a high from killing, so he was very dangerous to be around right now. “Got myself a job, and a new digs. It’s way better than the crap that All For One gave me. See, these people appreciate my hobbies. They like my creativity, and don’t put a collar on me. They say ‘go wild’ and I can do whatever I want.”
“Doesn’t sound any different.”
“Trust me, it is, or else I would have melted their faces off.”
“…And who are your new employers, Dabi?”
Dabi leaned in and put a hand on the wall by Shigaraki’s head, and held the lighter near Shigaraki’s face with the other hand, flicking it on. It was far enough away that Shigaraki could feel the warmth, and gave Dabi’s eyes a strange glow as he locked eyes with Shigaraki. “The Shie Hassaikai…” Dabi murmured quietly, “And that makes us enemies, doesn’t it? How very fitting for us? You know, we’re allowed to kill you guys on sight...”
“…So why don’t you?” Shigaraki pressed, raising an eyebrow. Now he felt like he was calming down, and this was like the old days when they used to threaten each other all the time. He knew that Dabi could be serious right now, but Shigaraki wasn’t feeling intimidated. He could pretend, for now, that he wouldn’t be reduced to a pile of ash by this dangerous man. Besides, Shigaraki felt sure that he could snap Dabi’s neck before that happened, but he wouldn’t make a move until Dabi actually did him serious harm. No use provoking out of the blue.
“I just might,” Dabi said quietly, holding the lighter closer.
Shigaraki slowly lifted a hand up, and placed it over the lighter lid so that it closed over the flame, and his hand covered Dabi’s loosely, as Dabi watched attentively, so distracted by the action.
“No, I don’t think you will.”
Dabi’s eyes wandered back to Shigaraki’s face, and he looked spooked, right before he stepped back, and gave Shigaraki some space. “Not much has changed with you,” he said distantly, as he put the lighter away, seemingly coming down from his killing high.
“Well you seem different as well.”
Dabi turned back to him, a little confused. “In what way?”
“You don’t smell like cigarette smoke anymore, just normal smoke.”
“Huh? Yeah… I guess. I quit that kind of smoking. Now I just burn people.”
“Well that’s one way to beat an addiction I guess. Just do more murders. It works wonders. You should make that into a campaign,” Shigaraki said mockingly.
“You’re such a bitch,” Dabi said, rolling his eyes. “Yep, still the same crazy bastard. But you better go. With you being the son of All For One, that’d make things awkward when my employers show up to see this mess.”
“And why don’t you just shoot me?”
“What, do you have a death-wish? The thing is that they’ll probably want you as a hostage, and if you think I’m dumb enough to try and prevent you from leaving when you’re clearly at full strength, then you’re joking. I just took down a bunch of guys, and I know how you fight. Good thing you hung back. Didn’t want to deal with a fucking jumping spider along with those lugs. Next time though, it’s on. Call this a freebie, for old time’s sake.”
“If there’s even going to be a next time.”
“Aww, is All For One still hurt that I left without saying goodbye to his face? Send my best wishes to him,” Dabi said, sending a dramatic air-kiss in Shigaraki’s direction. “And do be detailed about your report, will you? Tell him all the gruesome details of how I burnt his gingerbread men to smithereens!”
*
And Shigaraki did just that.
“And you escaped all of this unscathed?” All For One asked, seeming to have a hard time believing it as he scrutinised Shigaraki.
“I think he thought it’d be funny to send a messenger back.” Which did sound like Dabi, who loved to boast and loved an audience. It was very on brand for him. “He likes attention and doesn’t like flying under the radar.”
“Yes, I remember. Such an insolent little boy. Too rabid to keep around. Well I’ll put a reward out for whoever puts that dog down. If you see him again then I expect you to dispose of him.”
“Of course.” Easier said than done. Dabi had always been physically stronger than Shigaraki, while Shigaraki had been faster and skilled at breaking bones and stabbing vitals. But it was hard to stab any vitals when Dabi could create a blowtorch out of a spray-can of deodorant and a lighter on the fly. Even worse when he had any Molotov cocktails with him.
“Oh, and Shigaraki?”
Shigaraki turned back to All For One. “Yes, father?”
“Do be careful. It would be inconvenient if you were to be apprehended during all of this, when it’s vital that you remain in the game.”
“Yes, father.” As if I’d let myself be caught willingly. What kind of idiot do you think I am? I’m literally an adult! Inconvenient for you?! What about me?! Fucking asshole.
“If you disappoint me, the repercussions will be severe…do you understand?”
“…Yes, father.”
*
The next time that Shigaraki ran into the Shie Hassaikai, they got locked into a severe firefight in the shady part of the city, with All For One’s men dropping like flies.
Oh for the love of—I swear the old man’s senile! Did he give me the weakest men on purpose to weed out the weak? This can’t be a coincidence! The Shie Hassaikai are good, but they aren’t that good! Shigaraki thought furiously as he took cover. Another man fell, shot in the head, and Shigaraki gritted his teeth. He peeked around the corner, and sighed when he saw none other than Dabi among the Shie Hassaikai, clearly the sharpshooter of the bunch. Well that explains it. For fuck’s sake! Do I seriously have to do everything around here?
He put his gun away and cracked his knuckles before adjusting his gloves and flexing his fingers. Built into the gloves were fake nails that were so sharp that they could slice flesh—he knew this through experience. And around his knuckles metal spikes were built in, as well as a protective layer over his knuckles so that impacts wouldn’t hurt as much for himself. He had always been good with his hands in combat, and even better with the right equipment. Guns weren’t really his thing anyway, and he had a feeling that Dabi wouldn’t shoot him, even if the others might. No, Dabi would want their final showdown to be all fancy and dramatic. He was such a drama queen like that.
Shigaraki sneaked around, as the firefight continued, hearing the booms of Dabi’s laughter all throughout, and smashes of glass (yep, this time he had indeed packed his homebrew Molotov cocktails). With the gunfire drawing all the attention, the Shie Hassaikai members were too distracted to notice Shigaraki advance on them from the side before it was too late—and Shigaraki grabbed the closest one, and snapped their neck with a violent jerk as he pulled him backwards into the shadows before anyone could notice. The snap had been masked by the gunfire, but Shigaraki just knew that Dabi was insanely observant of peculiar little details that others didn’t notice. That’s what made him so frightening. It was hard to blindside him.
When Shigaraki drew out of the shadows next, Dabi had moved, and Shigaraki felt his heartbeat quicken when he couldn’t see him, but didn’t let that distract him from shoving the next victim into another, and cracking their skulls together when he drew in close, using their surprise as their own demise. They dropped to the ground, probably not dead, but bleeding severely and not really moving, which was enough for him, and he leapt at the next guy, who turned to him with their gun drawn, and he slashed their face with his claws, aiming for the eyes, and succeeding in destroying their sight completely.
As the man screamed, Shigaraki moved on to the next, and the next, as if he was in some kind of trance-like state, performing a dance of death, knowing exactly where to move and step, in a rhythm that only he could hear. He tore through the Shie Hassaikai, All For One’s warning in his head, because actions were harsher than words, and even death seemed like a comfort compared to All For One’s torture. So Shigaraki killed and maimed, and did anything and everything to finish his opponents. There was no honour among criminals, no reason to fight fair. They all signed up for this, so he didn’t feel bad. He knew what kinds of things these men had done and what they would do, and he knew what he himself had done. Like his blood-related father, they deserved all of this and more.
When the dance of death was over, Shigaraki snapped out of it and was breathing heavily. He looked around and was glad to see that at least some of All For One’s men were alive, if not battered. They looked afraid though. Afraid of him. And he smiled at them, blood dripping down his face. It wasn’t his own. And they ran, like mongrels, back to their master. Well, they survived, so All For One would be happy. And this was a victory.
Until Shigaraki heard applause. Then he didn’t feel the same way anymore.
He turned and froze up when he saw Dabi grinning madly, right in front of him. Maybe the men had been scared off by not one maniac, but two. “Kitten’s got claws I see,” Dabi said, eying the bloodied gloves with interest. “Impressive, and they suit you. Kind of adorable. I think I like it.”
“Hmm, and you’re just a firebug,” Shigaraki retorted, flicking his hands away from him, frowning when the blood didn’t come off. Yep, washing them was going to be gross.
“Firebugs torch homes and forests for fun—I torch people,” Dabi specified, gesturing to a few of his victims as examples. “Firebugs are nothing but pathetic pieces of shit.”
“You know, some would say the same thing about murderers.”
“Is it really murder if they deserved it for getting in my way?”
“Yes, Dabi. Still murder.”
“In a court maybe. They were just fuel for my fire, nothing more, and nothing to shed any tears over.”
“Huh, and you used to call me the ‘crazy bastard’. You sound even more insane than I ever did.”
Dabi shrugged. “Call me whatever you want. But hey… So we meet again. Is this fate, or is it my birthday?” he asked, grinning widely, showing off his teeth. And when he grinned the strange hooks in his face holding his skin together looked even more grotesque. Nobody ever asked why he had such severe burns. Because whenever anyone asked him something personal he’d get this sharp look in his eyes, as if his very gaze could snuff out your life. “Are we going to dance too, Shigaraki?”
It was scary how sometimes it seemed like they were on the same wavelength when thinking about certain things. “Dance, with you? Oh, you wish you were all that, Dabi, but you’re not exactly an appealing dance partner,” Shigaraki said, watching Dabi closely for any sudden movements.
Dabi laughed before twirling around Shigaraki in a circle, keeping some distance between them, playing up the dramatics to the highest degree as the odour of death hung heavily in the air. Shigaraki swore that Dabi had turned into even more of a diva than ever before. He didn’t know what to think about it, and it unnerved him. Because reading Dabi was becoming difficult.
Once he had done a full circle, Dabi stopped in front of Shigaraki and held a hand out to him. “Would you care to dance with me, dear? There’s no one in the world who would be a better match than me.”
Shigaraki sighed and eyed the hand warily. “Are you so sure about that?”
Dabi drew his hand back and looked calculating all of the sudden, his bouncy attitude flung away. “Is there someone who would be better?” he asked neutrally. And that lack of emotion was a warning sign.
“…It feels like I’ve missed something. What are you asking?”
And then Dabi was back to looking playful. “Never mind. So, what happens now?”
“I’m not in the mood to fight.” All For One didn’t have to know that he let Dabi get away. The other men would say that Dabi had been there, so Shigaraki couldn’t lie about that. He just really didn’t feel like fighting Dabi. He felt too confused and unnerved. It would have been better if Dabi would just attack him already and get it over with. “And both our sides lost some men so call this even.”
Dabi looked at the few Shie Hassaikai who looked somewhat alive with little remorse. “I wouldn’t exactly call it that, but sure, let’s do that. A compromise.” Then he lowered his voice with a wild glint in his eyes. “But next time we meet I might not let you get away.”
“I could say the same to you,” Shigaraki said, though he heeded the obvious threat. “Goodbye, Dabi.”
*
The gang violence only amped up from there, with the war not seeming to have an ending in sight. Wars, Shigaraki decided, was something that old men with far too much power and ego did in order to compensate. And both All For One, and the boss of the yakuza, were far from over with their needless displays of warfare. But while All For One was losing men and money fast, the Shie Hassaikai continued to thrive. All For One had lost his touch, and Shigaraki watched the flames and didn’t offer advice. Once he would have, but these days he welcomed the destruction. To think that he used to get so mad at Dabi for mocking All For One—Dabi had probably seen the man’s downfall in advance.
Now it was too late to run. Because while he didn’t care what happened, Shigaraki couldn’t turn away from All For One. The man would track him down and find him, and chase him all the way down to hell. Of that, Shigaraki was certain.
“You are my greatest creation,” All For One rambled to him, drunk, with the office stinking of liquor. “A twisted little monster. You’ll carry my legacy on…”
Shigaraki kept still and quiet, watching as the man downed more of the drink with bloody hands. He had beaten a man to death, purely because he could, and Shigaraki hadn’t been allowed to leave. Better to watch than be the punching bag.
“I raised you from the ashes of your broken home, and here you are. Do you remember their screaming faces, too, late at night? Of when I taught you how to hold a knife?”
“…Yes, father.”
When All For One and his men had raided Shigaraki’s home, and All For One had decided then and there that he wanted a son. And a monster of a son at that. So he had given Shigaraki a knife, and…
Shigaraki had been so small, hadn’t really been able to keep his hold on the knife…
So All For One helped him to…
There had been so much blood.
“We killed them all. I was so proud of you.”
Shigaraki wanted to leave. He felt sick. He hadn’t thought about his family in a long time. When he did, his neck would itch, but if he scratched then he wouldn’t be able to stop, and All For One didn’t like when he did that, so he had to keep still and grit his teeth and try not to picture his mother and sister.
Murderers like Shigaraki didn’t deserve to run. So here with All For One he would remain. His sins against his family didn’t deserve forgiveness from the world.
All For One dug through his desk, and pulled out something wrapped in bloody cloth. When the cloth fluttered away, the kitchen knife was revealed. It was clean, but Shigaraki recognised it and his stomach lurched. He didn’t like the look in All For One’s eyes as he got up from his chair, and slowly approached Shigaraki holding the knife.
“But you are starting to fail me more and more, letting that insolent little child slip once again. You’re not as nearly as smart as you think you are, my son,” All For One said, peering down at Shigaraki who indeed felt like a kid. “So, you must take your punishment. See this as a lesson in compliance. Do you understand, Shigaraki? Will you accept your punishment for your continuous failures?”
Shigaraki took in a shaky breath. “…Y-Yes, father…”
“Good. Now lift up your shirt.”
*
“Magne, I swear to fuck that I’m going to pass out so you better have a fucking med-kit ready by the time I get to the bar!” Shigaraki exclaimed into his phone as he stumbled through the streets, wincing, with a hand pressed up against his side. His anger seemed to be all that was keeping him going, and he probably wasn’t as coherent as he thought he was on the phone. He was losing blood fast, and could feel himself weakening.
All For One hadn’t just scratched him up a bit—he had stabbed him! Pretty deeply, too. Probably not anywhere overly vital, but the man had been drunk. So as soon as he had been allowed to leave, Shigaraki had fled in the direction of his friend’s place of work.
“Honey, did that fucker stab you? Your gang dad? Son of a bitch! If I didn’t have to wait here for you I would be running over to his office and cutting off his tiny dick! Be careful though! The club’s pretty lively right now, but I’ll let the bouncers know to shoo you in.”
“Don’t care how packed the club is, or to get blood on the floors and guests. Fuck ‘em and the world.”
“…You’re really not ok, are you?”
Shigaraki laughed and that seemed like enough of an answer. Laughing hurt, but even breathing hurt. Argh, was that bloody patch getting bigger? He could smell it. “See you there, Magne, you angel.”
“You’re really scaring me, Tomura.”
When he got there, the bouncers did indeed let him through, unnerved by him but too loyal to Magne to question his withered appearance. So he shoved and elbowed his way through the glitzy club, flashing lights and bumping music making his head hurt, but he managed to reach the bar and was instantly ushered into the backroom behind the bar by Magne, whose red hair looked even shinier than usual.
“Hun, you look like a pasty ghost,” she said, as she made him sit on a chair before she took out a med-kit. She took his shirt off for him, and he didn’t even flinch, trusting her as the only person in the world who could touch him like this without him lashing out or feeling uncomfortable. “I’m really going to murder that fucker.”
“Mm, that bad?” Shigaraki said distantly, distracted by the lights flickering under the door.
“Bad as in: you could die? Yes! But since we’re all criminals, hospitals aren’t an option! I’ll do my best, but no promises. You’ll have to see an underground doctor after I’ve stopped the bleeding.”
Shigaraki nodded, or he was sure he did, right before the world faded to black.
*
When he came to, it was from a slap to the face with Magne standing over him, wincing. “Sorry, hun, but I needed you awake and alert. You’ve been out for an hour, and while I did patch it up, blood is seeping through.”
Shigaraki looked down at his body, and indeed the usually pure white wrapping was soaking red. The wound was deeper than he had thought. It made him dizzy to look at so he looked back at Magne who passed him a clean shirt that was far too big for him. She put it on him when he couldn’t, and led him back outside with her jacket around him.
“I’ll call someone here,” Magne said. “Sit, and stay. If we don’t get a doctor here immediately then you’ll…” She froze up, her eyes scanning through the crowd. “We’ve got trouble.”
Shigaraki turned and spied the crowd parting to let a man with a black mask covering his mouth and nose, through. He wore a purple feather boa, and had an entourage of men with him. He seemed important, but Shigaraki couldn’t work out just who he was.
“Sit, and keep your head low,” Magne warned.
So Shigaraki sat at the bar, and put the hood of Magne’s jacket over his head, and kept his focus on Magne as she tended to the drinks. He got tired of keeping his head up so he leaned his chin on the bar, sighing at the coolness of it, a nice counterweight to the flaring of his injury, and uncomfortable wetness that made him feel ill.
“This night keeps getting worse and worse for you. Don’t look now but another shark has entered the fray,” Magne murmured when she passed by Shigaraki.
Shigaraki wanted to go to sleep, and not deal with whatever that meant. He felt so tired… But he knew he couldn’t give in. Magne might need him if trouble was brewing. He could pay her back by protecting her, not that he really could in his state but he would sure as hell try.
And then Shigaraki tensed when he heard booming laughter in the sea of guests—Dabi’s laughter.
Shigaraki didn’t turn around to look. He knew he had heard it. And he didn’t want Dabi to see him in such a weakened state. He’d surely take advantage of it. He had to hold on until the coast was clear, then he could see a doctor and sleep as long as he liked.
But that laughter only got closer and closer, and Shigaraki’s nerves couldn’t take it. He had to get out, had to get away, or he could die here in his vulnerable condition. So he got up, and slipped out of reach when Magne tried to reach over the counter to grab him, and rushed in the opposite direction to the laughter—right into the direction that the other shark was with his merry men.
The other shark, pretty for a leader, was seated at a table with his men, and definitely turned his head to look at Shigaraki, who tensed up but kept moving, all too aware of how much attention he was drawing, feet dragging and body slumping as he staggered through the clubbers like a crazed lunatic.
His heartbeat was heavy in his ears, and his head felt like it would split, and that his side would ignite, when a hand fell on a shoulder of his, stopping him firmly. Shigaraki spun, gritting his teeth at the movement, to see a mischievous Dabi, whose face morphed into surprise, as if he had been about to harass a weird stranger, not Shigaraki.
“Y-Your face,” Dabi murmured, eyes wide as he tried to make sense of whatever he was seeing. “You’re so pale—paler than usual.” He took his hand away, and it hung in the air, as if Dabi wasn’t sure what he wanted to do with it. Grab his shoulder again? Choke him?
Shigaraki smiled, trying to look like nothing was wrong. “The lighting.”
“You shouldn’t be here.”
“Neither should you. My friend has some joint ownership over this club.”
“Not what I meant.” Dabi gestured his head, and indicated behind him with his hand. “The son of the current boss of the Shie Hassaikai is here, Kai Chisaki. You are a magnet for trouble.”
Shigaraki’s blood ran cold. He knew the name Kai Chisaki, he just hadn’t seen the man before tonight. It was easy to make the connection what he looked like now. Kai Chisaki was said to be a strong force within the Shie Hassaikai, as well as excelling in the medical field. So instead of a doctor, fate had sent Shigaraki a plague doctor instead!
And looking over Dabi’s shoulder again, it was clear that Kai Chisaki had definitely been keeping an eye on their interaction, and was on his feet and striding over, golden eyes glowing under the lights, like a cat stalking their prey in the dark.
“Your boss has noticed us, dumbass,” Shigaraki hissed out.
“Not my boss. Go.”
Shigaraki turned around, only to stop once he realised that Kai Chisaki’s men had gathered around them, having been concealed within the crowd, slowly closing in as they had talked. So Shigaraki turned back to Dabi—and leapt at him with a snarl. “You planned this shit!” Shigaraki exclaimed, as he forced Dabi to the ground, who fought back and pushed him off far too easily. So easily in fact that Dabi looked confused, then suspicious.
Shigaraki backed away from him, and breathed in heavily. His side, irritated by his jump, felt like it was melting, with the pain and wetness travelling. And it did travel, bleeding through his once clean shirt, and he realised that it was dripping down to his jeans.
Dabi noticed too, and tried to move over to him, but Shigaraki stepped back, glaring at him, as he clutched his side as if to cover the evidence. “S-Shigaraki… What happened?”
“Stabbing. On my way here. Random attacker,” Shigaraki muttered, gritting his teeth, trying to figure out how to get out of here. “They’re dead now.”
“They better be.”
Before Shigaraki could even begin to try and interpret why Dabi had said that in such an angry way, Chisaki was on the scene, and sent Dabi an inquisitive glance, before turning his eyes on Shigaraki who stepped back again. Then Chisaki looked down to the blood that couldn’t be hidden from view, raising an eyebrow. With the medical mask over his nose and mouth, it was hard to read him. “Tomura Shigaraki,” Chisaki said. “A pleasure to meet you at last.”
“Fuck off!”
“Hmm, and I see that there’s no use for pleasantries with you. What is it with gangs always being so dirty and without manners? You wouldn’t know the meaning about being refined.”
“I’ll pluck those feathers out and shove them down your throat until you choke!”
“Indeed, that does sound like something the famous Tomura Shigaraki would do, but you look seconds away from dropping dead. I guess sometimes legends should remain as legends. Really, Dabi, this is the great angel of death that you boasted about? He hardly looks the part.”
Shigaraki wasn’t sure if he had heard all of that right. So he looked to Dabi, who wouldn’t meet his eyes. Dabi looked frustrated though, and his face seemed a little flushed from either anger or alcohol. Or was this club as hot as Shigaraki felt like it was?
“Chisaki…” Dabi said warningly, glaring at the man, not afraid to be defiant despite this being a boss of his (or maybe Dabi truly didn’t take orders from a boss, and simply did whatever he wanted in the yakuza).
“Fine, fine. But the situation is different now. You know that. Our deal remains the same in some aspects, but for others we’ve been given a golden opportunity to…”
The ground fell underneath Shigaraki’s feet—or was it him falling forward? He heard a desperate cry of his name, then the warmth of arms wrapping around him—and he met oblivion.
*
“You know, if you keep staring at him like that, you’re going to need eye-drops.”
“If he dies I’ll make sure that your death is the most painful out of everyone I’ve killed. You’ll burn for an eternity before you breathe your last breath.”
“Threats of violence don’t work on me. I can do that and worse to you. I can operate on you while keeping you conscious and aware of it but unable to move.”
“Can you two bitches shut up? I feel like I’m going to vomit and I’d rather be back at the club, but no, I’m here to make sure that my friend’s sorry ass doesn’t get maimed by you shady fuckers and I’d rather watch over him in peace without you two assholes threatening each other.” It was Magne’s voice that made Shigaraki register that oh, he was awake, and not just hearing voices in a dark dreamland. “Like seriously, you two should go hate-fuck in another room, and I’ll stay here and not be a nuisance.”
“…For a…’lady’ you don’t talk very eloquently.”
“For a ‘pompous peacock’ you sure as hell act as if you’ve never actually talked to a woman before in your life. I know more than enough women who could talk circles around your sorry ass.”
“Yeah, Chisaki, don’t be a dick to Magne.”
“Oh no, don’t try and suck up to me, Dabi. I don’t like the way that your crazy ass has been looking at my dear Tomura. Get any funny ideas and I’ll shove my heel through your face.”
“Y-Yes ma'am.”
Shigaraki sighed, wishing that he could just drift back off, and not deal with this mess, but he opened his eyes, and sat up, laughing when Magne scrambled over to him, and promptly shoved Dabi away when he tried to push in front of her.
“Tomura,” she exclaimed, sitting down in the seat by the bed that Shigaraki was on. “I was so worried! How are you feeling? Did these two assholes wake you? I’ll kill them!”
“Where are we?” Shigaraki asked, ignoring whatever she said, spooked by the fact that they weren’t in the club anymore. The room was clean, and he was on a bed, and it was too pristine in here. He had no weapons on him, and he was wearing fresh clothes. He didn’t like that either. He tried not to think about that.
“Just some house owned by the Shie Hassaikai,” Chisaki said easily.
Shigaraki wanted to leave. He hated this. So much so, that it probably showed on his face, so Magne grabbed one of his hands, and squeezed it in her own. “Hey, I won’t let anything happen to you. You’re like the annoying little brother that I never had. Well, more murderous than annoying.”
“I know,” he murmured, covering his face with his free hand, trying to figure everything out. They had to get out of here. “How long have I been unconscious?”
“You’ve been in and out for a few days. I operated on you, and you shouldn’t be moving around with an injury like that. I’m surprised you managed to move around at all. I had to give you a blood-transfusion, and stitch you up, but you’re far from out of the woods yet. Tear those stitches and all my hard work goes to waste,” Chisaki explained indifferently. Like an uncaring doctor. “You’re as feeble as a toddler right now so run and you won’t make it far.”
Shigaraki winced. Was it that obvious that running was what he wanted to do?
“Listen to Chisaki,” Dabi said quietly.
“Traitor,” Shigaraki spat out, removing his hand and glaring at Dabi, who was standing by his bed, not daring to sit down on the chair by Magne who looked ready to murder Dabi right then and there herself.
“’Traitor’ implies that Dabi isn’t on the side of the Shie Hassaikai,” Chisaki said neutrally, at the back of the room, searching through a cabinet full of medical supplies.
“I’m on my own side,” Dabi said bitterly. “And it just so happens that my goals fall in line with what your yakuza group are up to, so don’t think I’m on your side in the same way that your loyal little lambs are. And Shigaraki, I never betrayed you.”
“Sure didn’t seem that way in the club. Seemed more like you stalled for time by stopping me.”
Dabi winced and looked away. “Seriously? Purely accidental that things went down that way. But so what?” he asked, and when he looked back at Shigaraki he looked cold. “You’re a hostage to the Shie Hassaikai now. A bargaining chip in this war. Your father is going to be pissed.”
“…I know,” Shigaraki murmured, all his fire fluttering away as despair sunk in. “He’s going to be more than pissed. Whatever happens, you’re all fucked.” And it could be worse for me for landing myself in this mess.
“That old man is out of his depth,” Chisaki said, finally walking over and standing by Dabi. “I’m not afraid of trash that can’t get with the times. Save your threats for someone else and be a nice little hostage.”
“I’ll cut out your tongue and make you choke on it,” Shigaraki hissed back.
Magne sighed. “Ok, before another game of threats can start… What happens now? Like, what happens to me? I know how gang stuff works. You can’t have me roaming the streets just in case I squeal about this, not that I would, Tomura is too important to me.”
“Killing you would be easier than dealing with that, with you being a loose end and all,” Chisaki said without missing a beat.
Shigaraki sprang up, with fury driving him past his weakness and pain, and he would have leapt at Chisaki to strangle him if not for Magne grabbing onto him and pushing him back down. “The peacock ain’t worth it, hun.”
“I’ll kill you, turkey-fucker!”
Chisaki leered at him, obviously enjoying riling him up, which only made Shigaraki want to murder him more. “Really now… Such language! You have a way with words, Shigaraki. A true poet of our time.”
“Magne is too loyal to Shigaraki and won’t say anything,” Dabi said, watching the chaos with a calculating gaze. “And she’s done business with gangs before, so she really does have experience in these kinds of things. We shouldn’t keep her here too. And she isn’t loyal to All For One.”
“Damn right, I hate that fucker. And as long as my dear Tomura isn’t tortured, and is merely a hostage that gets treated like royalty, then I have no reason to do anything.”
Chisaki didn’t look convinced, but then Dabi nudged him. It was odd, but for a moment the two seemed to be silently communicating with their eyes alone. Were they close? It was kind of strange. The two couldn’t be more different. “I suppose that we can always kill you, Magne, if you do actually try to stage a rescue mission. But I can assure you that Shigaraki is useful to us alive, as I have no doubt already shown by operating on him personally. Think whatever you want about my morals, but I am a medical professional. And torture won’t be necessary. There’s nothing Shigaraki can tell us that we don’t already know about All For One.”
“Then fine, I’ll go back to the club before someone reports me missing. But I expect to be allowed to visit him.”
“Naturally.”
The seriousness of the situation sunk in then. Shigaraki seriously was a hostage to the Shie Hassaikai now, with little hopes of escaping. And now that Magne was involved, he couldn’t even risk defiance.
His life had somehow gotten a hell of a lot worse.
*
Shigaraki spent the first few days of his house-arrest on his side facing the wall in bed, back to the rest of the room so that he could ignore whoever walked in. He’d keep the sheets a little over his head, and curl up, fuming, and not sure what else to do. He didn’t eat if someone else was around, and when he did eat it was always very little.
There was a bathroom linked to this room, and he used it when alone and showered in the dark hours of the morning, when it was least likely that someone would be around to bother him.
Dabi tried to talk to him the first few days, but Shigaraki kept curled up and silent until he left. So Dabi stopped. He stopped visiting him for a bit, and when he showed up again it was only to give him food, not to stay and chat.
Chisaki tended to Shigaraki’s wound, and was the only person that Shigaraki bothered with, merely because he wanted to get better so that he would be strong enough to leave. And at least when Chisaki was working on him, he kept quiet, all business like a real doctor. Chisaki wasn’t much for small-talk, unlike Dabi, but they did exchange threats on occasion.
Another thing was that being alone with Chisaki, with the door closed, and with Shigaraki’s shirt off, wasn’t as unnerving as it should have been. Chisaki didn’t stare too much at his scars, didn’t even comment on his scratched up face or dry lips. Chisaki only cared about the stab wound, and didn’t touch him more than necessary. See, there was this doctor back in All For One’s gang that had been…very handsy. And would look at Shigaraki in a very non-professional kind of way. And so differently, Chisaki really did seem to view him as if he were a client, not an object to ogle at.
Shigaraki hated that such a small thing was comforting. Because nothing about Chisaki should have screamed ‘comfort’, but it was nice not to be sexualised by a doctor. To be fair, the doctor in All For One’s gang was the only doctor that Shigaraki had ever interacted with before now. He had thought they were all weird.
Another thing was that Chisaki was pleasant to look at, especially up close. Golden eyes and thick eyelashes, perfect skin and perfect features… Chisaki wasn’t the type of man that one would usually associate with the dark underbelly of the city. He could have been a celebrity instead who could get far in his career just on looks alone. Not every celebrity needed or had any talent.
“You know, if you keep looking at me like that then Dabi is bound to get jealous,” Chisaki said casually, making Shigaraki jump because Chisaki had seemed so focused on bandaging him. “And that would just spell trouble of all sorts.”
“What else am I meant to look at while you’re working on me?”
Chisaki looked at him, and was probably smirking underneath his medical mask. “You’re very blunt. You didn’t even try to cover it up.”
“Am I meant to look at a wall instead?”
“Hmm, I see why he likes you. Snarky, but also naïve.”
“We kind of hate each other.”
Chisaki snorted at that and rolled his eyes. “If he truly hated you then don’t you think that you would be dead by day one of meeting the guy? He’s not exactly in the habit of restraining himself from acting on his urges.”
“He’s threatened me multiple times, so I don’t see what you’re trying to say.”
“Maybe not, or you do but just want to ignore it because it’s easier to convince yourself of lies than believe the truth. Well, I suppose I shouldn’t pry. I already have to deal with him almost losing it after our little sessions in here. Like honestly, do you know how many germs you can get from doing what he thinks we’ve been doing? And I’d rather bleach my skin than touch another’s without my gloves. Disgusting.”
“…What does he think we’ve been doing?” Shigaraki asked, feeling as if there was some kind of joke that everyone else understood, but he didn’t. Something between the lines that he couldn’t quite grasp.
Chisaki raised an eyebrow at him. “…Huh. You’re oddly pure for a little horror, aren’t you?”
“W-What is that meant to mean?”
“Never mind. I’ve said too much already. He’ll try and burn me alive if I put any ideas in your head.”
What kind of ideas? What else could Dabi think they’d been doing? Maybe that Chisaki was hurting Shigaraki rather than fixing him up? What was there to misinterpret?
“Maybe you should talk to Dabi though. He’s been so pissy lately and I can’t have him burning all the staff because that boy has serious anger issues. But alas, I’m not a psychologist. I’m glad to not have to diagnose that brand of crazy.”
“If he’s so crazy then why does he work for you?”
“He’s useful, as I am to him. Doesn’t mean I have to like when he throws destructive tantrums just because you won’t talk to him. So childish. He gets so upset that we talk. I’m surprised he’s had enough restraint to not barge in during our sessions, but I find it to be…intriguing. He lashes out on a whim, but as soon as you’re in the picture his habits change. Have you noticed this behaviour?”
Shigaraki almost denied that he had, but then something popped into his head. He had been reminded by Chisaki of a time back in All For One’s gang, some weeks before Dabi had left via a rampage.
The two and other men had been walking back to the base after a mission success. Shigaraki had took the lead, not interested in talking to the men, and he had heard them muttering and snickering to each other about how Shigaraki looked like a woman from behind, as he had let his hair grow out and had always had a thin, slender frame. He had never understood what ‘thin and slender’ had to do with women, just as how ‘broad and muscular’ had nothing to do with men. Besides, while his frame was slime, he did have muscles and more strength than he appeared to. He just wasn’t overly built with them or wore anything to put them on show.
Then they started muttering about things more sinister, things that made Shigaraki walk faster and feel very uncomfortable—right up until he heard choking, and whirled around to find Dabi holding two of the men by their necks, squeezing them as he wore a maniacal grin on his face, eyes wide and furious despite his grin.
“I don’t like those kinds of threats,” Dabi said to the men, grin widening at their fear as they struggled, but couldn’t get out of his tight hold. “It’s one thing to threaten to kill someone, because hey, that’s just our way of life, but to threaten to sexually violate them? Well now, that’s just something else entirely. And his dad won’t be so happy to hear about these plans of yours and trust me, he’s one doting father. He’ll castrate you both before you can even touch a hair on Shigaraki’s head. Do you understand?” The men nodded and Dabi let them go, and leered at the other men who hadn’t been grabbed by him. “Glad that we had this talk.”
It had been an odd thing to happen. So odd that it hadn’t made any sense, because it had seemed like that Dabi had actually gotten mad for Shigaraki’s sake. And Shigaraki had reasoned that perhaps Dabi had hated sexual predators in general, and would have reacted no matter who had been threatened. So he hadn’t thought too much about it.
And then when Dabi had left, he had specifically killed those men. A coincidence, of course, but it was weird that of all the men to die on Dabi’s brutal departure, they had been the ones who had gotten the brunt of Dabi’s fiery abilities and had perished in the flames.
So Shigaraki nodded to Chisaki. “I guess…there’s been times when he didn’t make any sense, as if there’s two different sides of him. He’ll threaten someone with death, and follow through, but he’s threatened me more than enough times and I’m…still here.”
“And without any burns, may I add. A true feat when Dabi is involved. He doesn’t like liars. He is an oddity, isn’t he? Especially around you.” And Chisaki looked at him as if Shigaraki should have been making a deeper connection, but Shigaraki just couldn’t. It wasn’t enough. “Talk to him, will you? Next time he swings around. In all honesty I’m sick of his sulking and want him on his game when I need him to be. You are a distraction, and you would be less distracting for him if he wasn’t getting all riled up about you.”
“I see. So you’re being nosy for selfish reasons.”
“Indeed. I’m stationed here under orders so my hands are tied. And I’d rather not be living in a soap opera during my stay.”
*
By the time that Dabi arrived with food for Shigaraki, it was night time, and Shigaraki had been sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at his hands, probably looking like a zombie. He had wanted to sleep but didn’t want to avoid talking to Dabi any longer.
“Shigaraki?” Dabi asked unsurely, setting the food down on the nightstand and standing before Shigaraki. “…Something wrong?”
“I’m a hostage of the Shie Hassaikai, healing from a stab wound, and have no idea what my fate might be. So Dabi, yes, there might be a few things wrong in my life right now, and you’re definitely one of them,” Shigaraki said, all the words bursting out of him as he met Dabi’s eyes, unable to control himself.
“…That’s fair, I guess.”
“Sit down, Dabi,” Shigaraki snapped, patting a space beside himself.
Dabi slowly did just that, keeping room between them. A lot of room actually. For such a charismatic guy, he sure didn’t like being close to people. He looked awkward too. And…weirdly shy? He placed his hands on his lap and looked tense, but he met Shigaraki’s eyes, curious and nervous.
The sight was so different from the insane cruel man that Dabi could be that it was hard to see this version of him without thinking that this was a dream. Gone was the mischievousness and malice.
“It seems that you’ve wanted to talk to me, so talk,” Shigaraki said.
There was a tense silence, and Dabi chewed on his bottom lip as he seemed to consider what to even say. Did that lip hurt? It looked as burned as the rest of his bottom jaw. And Dabi’s burns had always been a curiosity because they looked far too…precise. The ones under his eyes certainly couldn’t have been an accident. They were too perfect, too rounded, too purposeful.
“Chisaki put you up to this,” Dabi said bitterly.
“He said that he was getting sick of you being grumpy.”
“He should have kept his beak shut.”
“To be fair we’re talking now because of him.”
Dabi glared at the floor. “Didn’t know that you had such a high opinion of him.”
“I don’t, but he had some good points. Besides, aren’t you two close?”
Dabi laughed bitterly. “Wouldn’t call it that. We work together, and I can sometimes stand him. That’s about it.”
“Really? Because some would call that ‘friendship’, and he seemed to say the same thing about you. Seems like you’d both rather die than admit to being friends. Nothing wrong with having friends, even in our line of work. Magne’s my friend and I’m not ashamed to admit it.”
“Let’s not talk about this.”
“Ok, so what should we talk about instead?”
Dabi ran a hand through his black locks, and kept his eyes away from Shigaraki. “I dunno.”
“Why did you leave All For One’s gang, Dabi?”
“Huh? You know why. I was sick of him and the old geezers. Sick of being controlled. Wanted to be appreciated for what I could do, not to have my talents shoved into a box. Not to become a dog to be put down and die.”
“I feel like there’s always been more to it. Because the yakuza won’t tolerate defiance either and will dispose of you if you step too much out of line.”
“Then, to clarify: I’m not loyal to the yakuza, or the Shie Hassaikai. I’m loyal to Chisaki. Him, specifically. I’m not a yakuza, and I’m not a part of his gang. I’m on the outskirts. So my defiance doesn’t even matter because I’m not a part of them. But I’m no dog for Chisaki, either. For us it’s a mutual thing. He’s loyal to me, too. There’s no leader between us in this little partnership.”
And that was news to Shigaraki, and suddenly things were making sense. But of course Dabi had left out a couple details, as he was prone to do. Because Dabi didn’t let much slip, even when revealing the truth. There was still some secrecy. “And what exactly is the reason for this partnership?”
“I’ll sum it down to: we don’t kill each other, and everyone gets to live another day. What he wanted out of it was my talents with murder.”
“…And what about you? What are you gaining from this partnership?”
Dabi was quiet, and he considered Shigaraki. Hesitating. “…Something good enough to keep me from torching him and the Shie Hassaikai.”
Shigaraki sighed, sensing that Dabi wasn’t going to give him any more answers for free. “You won’t tell me.”
“Probably because it’s really none of your business,” Dabi replied with a shrug, then he sneered at him. “Maybe he’s doing sexual favours for me.”
Blank-faced, Shigaraki shook his head. “Nice try but even I’m doubting that. And knowing Chisaki I don’t think he’d do that for literally anyone.”
“Not even you?” Dabi asked, a dark look in his eyes.
Shigaraki looked at him, confused. “Are you kidding me? I’d be surprised if anyone wanted to sleep with me once they’ve seen me up close. And Chisaki is literally so pretty that I bet he could get models to chase after him, not that he would.”
“Y-You think he’s pretty?” Dabi said, all tensed up and looking a bit irked.
“Yeah? Because he is? From an aesthetic standpoint he’s very attractive. I’m kind of envious, honestly. I wonder what having perfectly smooth skin is like? My scars won’t ever allow it though. Like I don’t get how you can have unblemished skin? It’s kind of unfair.”
Dabi looked at his burnt arms, frowning. “I like having fucked up skin, though. I wear these burns with pride and love the looks I get.”
“Huh, wish I had that kind of confidence. I grow my hair out specifically to help hide the scars on my forehead.”
“You shouldn’t have to.”
“Huh?”
Dabi gestured to Shigaraki’s face. “You shouldn’t have to hide them. They’ll always be there and if other people get freaked out by them then that’s a win. If you hate them then I get why you would want to hide them, but I really don’t see the point. They’re a part of you, and if someone else can’t accept that then they can go get fucked. And if they really get to you then foundation wouldn’t hurt, but I like seeing them. They make you look intimidating and what more can you want?”
And objectively, Dabi’s skin-damage was far greater than Shigaraki’s, and yet the guy didn’t have a care in the world for society’s warped beauty standards. He exposed his burns to the world with enthusiasm. Meanwhile Shigaraki felt ashamed of his own scars and dry lips, though he hadn’t bothered to cover them with foundation or tend to his dry lips. His hatred for himself had made him want people to be disgusted by him, because he deserved it.
“It would be nice to just be able to not have them.” As in, it would have been nice if most of them weren’t caused by his blood-related father leaving him out in the cold, and his allergies flaring up so bad that he couldn’t stop the compulsion to scratch. And when he got overwhelmed, he’d attack his own skin, as if it was a phantom itch that he couldn’t be rid of until he made himself bleed and feel pain.
“Hmm.” Dabi didn’t say anything else. Didn’t ask any questions. He just looked at Shigaraki curiously, with no judgement on his face. And then he said quietly, after a moment, “…Would be nice to not have burns.” A loaded answer, with implications. Because Dabi, on some level, was admitting to agreeing with Shigaraki, despite liking the burns. So had they not been self-inflicted? At least not by simple choice? He didn’t ask because Dabi tended to get violent when asked personal questions. No matter what Chisaki had said, Shigaraki didn’t believe that Dabi would let him off the hook for prying.
They sat in silence for a while. And then Dabi left, with a quick mutter about Shigaraki actually eating his food lest he turn into skin and bones.
*
When Chisaki changed Shigaraki’s dressings next, he applied an antibiotic, and Shigaraki wondered why in the hell he would bother. Antibiotics prevented infection, and therefore prevented discomfort, and Shigaraki was a prisoner basically. To the yakuza. The yakuza who were waging a war against gangsters, which Shigaraki was a part of. So what was even the point? An infection didn’t always result in death, and Chisaki was always very careful with him. Needlessly careful, and needlessly professional, when he probably knew how to torture someone medically without killing them.
“Any updates on this hostage situation?” Shigaraki asked, as Chisaki was finishing up with applying the dressings.
“Wouldn’t know. My father runs the Shie Hassaikai and he decides what happens with you, and all the business along with it. Hostages are not my department.”
“And yet you’re here.”
“Indeed.” Chisaki didn’t elaborate, pulling a Dabi move.
“Wouldn’t you be useful elsewhere and not tending to my needs?”
“I would.”
Shigaraki gritted his teeth, annoyed that nobody wanted to give him honest answers. Not honest in the way he would like.
“Your wound is healing up nicely, and there’s no signs of infection. I do have to wonder why the wound is so deep… I find it doubtful that the great Shigaraki was stabbed on the street when you have skills in disarming people, being a skilled physical fighter. And yet somehow they got close to you and managed to plunge it in deeply.”
“Think whatever you want, but I won’t tell you without an equal exchange of information.”
Chisaki raised an eyebrow, curious. “And so there really is more to it?”
Shigaraki shrugged.
“Well, I suppose I can partake in this exchange, but you only get to ask me one question. I doubt your answer is anywhere near as fascinating as you play it up to be.”
“What is your deal with Dabi, exactly? You get to use him, and what are you giving him?”
“Hmm, I’m not sure if that’s worth answering. Why not ask him yourself?”
“Already tried that. He played it off as if it might be about sexual favours.”
Chisaki made a disgusted face, as if he had just eaten an entire box of lemons and then some. “I’d rather chop off my own limbs than do something like that. Human beings are breeding grounds for disease and germs. They’re absolutely disgusting and the idea of being close to one in that way? Sickening. He knows that and yet he still goes crazy with paranoia about the idea of us two doing something like that. I’ll never understand how he can think such things, but that’s Dabi for you. I won’t ever fully understand that man.”
“…I’m trying to understand him. And maybe the terms of your deal will help me with that.”
Chisaki sighed before sitting down on the bed next to Shigaraki, looking weary. Too weary to freak about being close to Shigaraki on a bed with sheets that didn’t get cleaned every single day. As if this conversation was something to be exhausted by and it hadn’t even started. “So, for context, I met Dabi in person a little after he left your gang. He was a lone wolf going about his life, torching whoever and whatever he wanted. There was probably some kind of order to his madness, but he was as unhinged as men in this life can get. Angry at the world, and wanting to destroy everything. I didn’t know exactly why he was so enraged, but I could see his strength and the fear that he gave to everyone around him. Reputations are useful, so I wanted him on the side of the Shie Hassaikai instantly.
“I convinced him to go out for a drink with me to talk business. He threatened me and my boys at first, and while they were frightened of him I didn’t flinch. I guess he liked that, so used to the world being afraid of him and his madness. So we went out for a drink alone, because I trust my instincts, and my instincts told me that Dabi would respect me if I allowed myself to be vulnerable around him, without any back up. And I was right, as I usually am. He threatened me less and seemed to calm down and start making sense, rather than go on about revenge and cremation.
“I offered him a place in the Shie Hassaikai, specifically with my line of business, and it was a placement with no strings attached. No initiation into becoming a yakuza, and no rules that had to be followed other than to leave my associates alone. A partnership is what I offered, and I was clear about all the terms, and that I’d be using him as a scare-tactic against our rivals.
“At first he wasn’t overly interested, until I mentioned All For One and the stirrings of a war against him. Then he was overly eager, and excited about the partnership. Revenge on the ones that he had left behind seemed to be his drive. So, after promising him that the terms of our deal would stay between us, he asked for something in return. Something that made no sense to me at the time, but I had chalked it up to it being about personal revenge on his enemies. But his terms were this: Shigaraki, the son of All For One, must not be harmed. He is off limits, and if harm is to become of him that is not inflicted by Dabi then Dabi was going to turn against the Shie Hassaikai and burn it to the ground. That was his terms and you must keep this between us.”
Shigaraki didn’t know what to say, or even what to feel. Just like being a hostage, he had been a bargaining chip between Dabi and Chisaki without even realising it. How was he meant to respond to that? It was such a big revelation! Was he meant to feel angry? Afraid? About the fact that Dabi personally wanted to deal with him rather than let anyone else do it? It made sense! Dabi hated All For One, so of course he’d hate his son and make an elaborate plan to enact revenge. It’d hurt All For One if Shigaraki were to die by Dabi’s hands.
He felt cold. He felt sick. “All For One stabbed me,” Shigaraki said.
“What?”
“I messed up. I was to be made to learn a lesson. I took the stabbing then left and you know the rest.”
Chisaki looked troubled. “That’s… Does Dabi know this?”
“Would it matter if he did? He’d probably enjoy it.”
“He… I think you misinterpreted something along the way.”
“Can you leave? Not to be rude but I just learned some messed up things and want to be left alone. And don’t let Dabi in here. I want everyone to leave me alone.”
“Alright, but if Magne wants to visit?”
“Let her in. Her and nobody else is allowed to see me. I will scratch eyes out, I don’t care about consequences.”
Chisaki left, hesitantly, and Shigaraki curled up in bed and hid from the world, shaking, truly afraid of his fate. Maybe being afraid of Dabi was the right idea. He had been stupid not to fear him sooner, and fear what he just might do with Shigaraki when he decided it was the right time to end his life for good.
*
Magne did indeed visit, and sensing that Shigaraki didn’t want to talk, she painted his nails instead as she talked about her day at the club. She painted his nails red, because that’s all she had on her, as she always kept a shade of nail polish in her purse for ‘emergencies’. He supposed a time like this counted as one, and he kept still as she applied the first coat on his broken fingernails, which he had been chewing on before she had shown up. It was weird to watch the coat go over the chewing marks, over the splits in the nails. Weird but soothing as well.
“Have the two bastard boys been giving you trouble?”
“Not really. Chisaki is actually more likable than Dabi, which I wouldn’t have expected,” Shigaraki said, and Magne seemed to beam when Shigaraki actually decided to engage fully in the conversation. “Less threatening, too. He’s even a good doctor.”
“He’s super attractive, too. Too bad his personality isn’t. I think he was going to misgender me when we first met, and he escaped having a heel shoved into his eye-socket. Why is it always the hot ones that have to be bastards? Not you though, sweetie, with your gorgeous blue locks. It’s too bad you’re not my type.”
“Well we can at least agree he’s pleasant to look at.”
“We can! Dabi on the other hand… Well, I’m not sure how I feel about him. He gives me a vibe that he’s dangerous and intense, but not the kind of dangerous that a thrill-seeking woman like me could like. I mean, his looks are definitely bold, and I do have to wonder if all that metal would get in the way if he were to engage in sexual activities.”
“I’d rather not think about it.”
“Yeah, well, can’t blame a girl for trying to imagine it. He seems like a man who would have one-night-stands with multiple people and cheat. He hasn’t done anything perverted to you, has he? And what about the bird-fuck?”
“Don’t worry, Magne, nothing like that has happened. Chisaki seems to either be on the asexual spectrum, or just not interested in physical intimacy in general. Dabi just seems to want to kill me in a very non-sexual kind of way.”
“Well, good! I can’t help but worry about you. You might as well be adopted to be my little brother at this point because I feel like a big sister wanting to fight anyone that tries to hurt you. And don’t get me started on All For One. I’ve already planned where I’m going to bury the body.”
Shigaraki hoped she was joking, because such a thing would be dangerous. He didn’t want her to get involved in gang affairs. She deserved better than that. “I can handle myself. Don’t worry about me.”
“I can’t help it! I just want to protect you from this cruel world! I wish we had met when we were kids, and that I could have saved you before All For One could drag you into a hell of a life. We would have looked out for each other, and I would have been able to come to terms with myself identifying as a woman much sooner. We never talk about this, but I do appreciate the fact that you’ve always accepted me for who I am. No hesitance, not even any prying questions, which I’m used to getting. No invasive questions either about my body. I wish you could understand how much you’ve done for me for just existing.”
Shigaraki was blown away, and was misty-eyed when he saw that Magne’s eyes were just as wet with unshed tears. “Magne…”
“So of course I’m worried, Tomura. Worried that I’ll lose an important person—an important friend. You’ve spiced up my life in the best ways, and I don’t want to lose that or lose you when I can help you. I do know that there’s boundaries, and that I can’t follow you everywhere in the underbelly you’re a part of, but I’ll do the best I can from out here. I’ll always be here when you need me, and I’ll drop everything if you ask me to. So don’t shut me out, or downplay what’s actually going on. I can take it.”
With those words, Shigaraki couldn’t help but expel everything about Dabi to her. And they talked late into the night, and Shigaraki’s nails dried as he went through his fears about Dabi, and their confusing interactions, and all that Chisaki had said. By the end of it, both of them were worn out and unsure what to say, so they slept in the same bed, and Shigaraki felt safe close to her, safer than he had felt in such a long time.
In the morning, she had to leave to get ready for her day-job as a hairdresser, and she left with the hesitance of a worried friend not wanting to leave but having to go to make a living and to not be fired. She left with the parting words ‘be strong’, and a promise to visit again.
Neither of them had been able to figure out what to do about Dabi and his intentions. But the fact that Magne knew about him made Shigaraki feel a little less alone in his plight, and in some way that helped, even if logically he knew that Magne couldn’t stand up to Dabi. But he could pretend that she was larger than life, and a Valkyrie shielding Shigaraki from a beast.
But in reality it was Shigaraki who lay at Dabi’s feet, a lamb to the slaughter. The only difference being that Shigaraki wouldn’t be a willing sacrifice, fuel for Dabi’s flames. He’d fight tooth and nail to defy him and his plans.
Even if he didn’t feel confident that he was really a match for Dabi anymore.