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Spike looked up at the giant robots that had just recently come into his life with awe. They were amazing beings of advanced technology and it had been his honor to introduce them to Earth and human culture.
Some things seemed to get lost in translation though.
They spoke English well enough, but it was clear they had some meanings for things that were not shared by the humans. Things like “spark” and “matrix” had required some explanation. Other words like “glitch” and “slag” had of course required a little more explanation, but they were easy enough to pick up on in context.
But for some reason, some Transformers really liked to say his name. He wondered if it was some kind of honorific.
“Hey, erm, Spike,” Jazz said biting his lower lip. “Can you come’ere for a klik?”
“Sure, Jazz, what’s up?”
“Can you see if you can crawl in here and tighten this… pfft… valve for me? It appears to be leaking,” Jazz said, his vocalizer strained.
Jazz was standing next to an open pipe in the Autobot base, and Spike understood his trouble. He was the smallest being there, so he was happy to assist since the Autobots were all so big and couldn’t fit into tight spaces.
“Sure, buddy,” he said with a smile, as he crawled inside the pipe. He didn’t have a lot of room to move around inside. “Kind of tight in here.”
He heard Jazz make a weird, strangled noise outside the pipe.
“You okay out there?” Spike asked as he turned on his headlamp, looking for the valve.
“YE-up,” Jazz said breathing deeply. Or, as Spike had learned was something more along the lines of “exventing.”
Spike heard two more Autobots join Jazz outside the pipe. “What’s going on?” asked Sunstreaker.
“Oh, gentlemechs. Spike here is looking for a valve,” Jazz replied.
There was a kind of weird pause and some kind of weird static that came out of their vocalizers.
“Jazz! There are Decepticons fliers incoming!” Spike yelled.
“Oh, slag, hold on there little buddy, I got you!” Jazz ran across the battlefield, impressively doing some acrobatics to avoid fire from the Decepticon fliers that were bearing down on them.
A black and purple plane was coming in fast and fired close to Spike on the ground. He couldn’t help but yelp in fear.
“SPIKE, GET BACK INSIDE ME!” Jazz said, clearly about to transform so that Spike could get in his door to safety. Spike was a little surprised when Jazz just froze, blinked (or did the equivalent), and just covered his mouth. His eyes went wide, and he looked like… he was laughing.
The Decepticon flier had stopped firing at them, and was hovering in the air, suspended and staring.
“Wait. Wait, wait, wait, what?” he said.
Jazz snorted and held up the palm of his hand. “Just… just gimme a klik, Skywarp,” he said, still trying to compose himself.
Skywarp, tilted his head to the side in confusion. “You… you named your pet human Spike. Like. That’s cruel even for Decepticon standards. I think.” He shrugged.
Jazz was shaking his head, still covering his mouth.
“They didn’t name me Spike! My parents did- it’s my nickname!” Spike cried angrily. “Now, buzz-off, flyboy!”
“Your name. Is. Spike,” Skywarp repeated. God, was he just dumb or something?
“Yes, that’s what I said! I am Spike, ally to the Autobots, the defenders of Earth!”
Skywarp trembled a little and made a weird giggling noise. “Uh, wow. That’s. Erm, sorry Jazz, I gotta… I gotta steal your Spike.”
Jazz burst out laughing but then realized what Skywarp had said. “Wait, no, Skywarp, you can’t have a human-”
Skywarp had already leaned down and grabbed Spike, holding him in his hand, tightly enough that he couldn’t move. “I’ll take real good care of your Spike,” Skywarp said grinning darkly.
Jazz winced in laughter again but moved forward. “Skywarp, nah mech, this isn’t- don’t do this, he’s just a kid.”
“I’ll bring him back- we all know how you need your Spike, Jazz.”
Jazz sighed. “Skywarp, it was funny the first couple of times, but now I’m serious-”
“Ah okay, so like three-pun maximum. Got it. Thanks for the Spike, Auto-dork!”
And then Spike dematerialized into thin air.
“I demand you let me go, you overgrown toaster!” Spike’s voice was hoarse from yelling. His face was windburned from the flying and his eyes still stung from the whip of cold air. But now they descended in a dark elevator into what Spike assumed was the Decepticon base.
“Primus you are almost as screechy as ‘Screamer,” Skywarp muttered. “Listen, I’m just gonna show you off to someone then I’ll take your right back out and put you somewhere on land I guess,” he said. “But for this next part, I’m going need you to keep it down because we gotta get past-”
The elevator dinged and opened, and there stood a dark blue mech with a red visor.
“Soundwave!” Skywarp said with a chuckle. He had turned, opened his cockpit, and thrown Spike in there before turning back around. “Didn’t see you there!”
Soundwave’s expression was extremely unreadable, but even Spike could tell he was annoyed. “Skywarp: Returned early from mission.”
“Yep, I got the orders from Starscream to retreat so that’s what I did.”
Soundwave’s shoulders sagged. “Query: Starscream called order for retreat?” Again, Spike could be wrong, but he seemed… defeated almost.
“Yep, but honestly we were losing anyway Soundwave. I’m surprised Megatron didn’t call for it earlier.” He shrugged and stepped around Soundwave. “Anyway, thanks!”
They dematerialized again.
When they came back, Spike almost hurled his breakfast into Skywarp’s cockpit, but managed to stop himself at the last second. While it would serve the stupid Decepticon right, he didn’t know how long he was going to be stuck in there.
“Hey TC!” Skywarp was saying. “Brought you something!”
Spike could see through the yellow glass of Skywarp’s cockpit that there was another Decepticon flier sitting in a bed. He looked like he had been injured based on some of the welds on his arms and wings.
“Skywarp! Back so soon?” he said, concerned.
Skywarp waved a dismissive purple hand. “Yeah, don’t worry- anyway I brought you- SPIKE!”
The blue flier looked very unamused. “Erm, Skywarp, we’ve been over this-”
“No, no this is great, look!” Skywarp popped open his cockpit and pulled Spike out by the back of his shirt so that he was just dangling in the air.
“Skywarp!” the blue one said scoldingly and reached up so that Spike was now resting in his hand. “What in Primus-”
“Tell him your name,” Skywarp said with a smile. He let go of Spike’s shirt so that he was now just resting in the blue one’s palm.
Spike huffed and folded his arms over his chest. “Why should I?”
Skywarp… pouted. He actually… pouted? “Aw come’on, please?”
There was… actually something cute about the way he pleaded- but no, he couldn’t be having those thoughts about a murderous Decepticon! “My name is Spike.” The look the blue flier gave him told him that he sympathized.
“…Oh, legitimately?” The blue one said. He gently set him down on a table. When Spike nodded, the blue one sighed. “I… see.” He had a small grin on his face. “Very clever, Skywarp.”
“HA, I KNEW YOU WOULD THINK IT WAS FUNNY!” Skywarp bounced off the floor and onto the edge of the berth.
Spike screwed his face into a scowl. “Why does everyone think my name is funny?” he muttered. He still had his arms folded across his chest. He wrinkled his nose a little at the smell of briny rusted metal and oil.
“Aw, if we tell you, it won’t be a joke anymore!” Skywarp quipped, winking at him.
“…did the Autobots not tell you?” the blue one asked. He looked down at Spike with a slight frown.
“No, I thought it might be some kind of honorific-”
Skywarp burst into laughter, holding his sides. “Aw, you poor fleshie!”
The blue one’s optics flicked to his louder companion, but then looked back at Spike. “A ‘spike’ is the Cybertronian equivalent of a phallus for… intercourse,” he said.
“A human dick!” Skywarp added, crowing.
Spike blinked and furrowed his brow. “What, really?! I didn’t even think you guys had those things!” His mind raced as he tried to process this information. He needed to sit down.
“Autobots are real prudes, huh,” Skywarp laughed.
Spike slapped a hand to his face and groaned. “I get it now. Jazz kept making me go fix valves, which I guess are...” He could feel his cheeks burning in embarrassment.
Skywarp nearly started choking with laughter while sliding off the bed onto the floor. The blue one sighed. “I would have expected more from Jazz, but as you can see, some mechs are particularly juvenile about spikes and valves.”
“Hey!” Skywarp squawked. “Just because I like the joke doesn’t mean it’s juvenile, Thundercracker.”
Oh. That was the nice one’s name.
There was a ping at the door, and both Skywarp and Thundercracker’s demeanor immediately changed. Thundercracker gently picked up Spike and settled him into his cockpit, holding a digit over his lips. He clicked the cockpit closed with a click.
The door opened and in swept the terror that was Starscream. Spike knew him at least.
“I thought I’d find you here,” Starscream said with a scowl. His voice sound much less shrill than Spike usually heard it.
“Why hello, ‘Screamer, nice to see you too!” Skywarp got up off the floor and grinned. “How’s it going?”
Starscream took a menacing step forward. “Why did you tell Soundwave I issued a retreat?”
“Well… you did, didn’t you?”
Starscream narrowed his eyes. He seemed slightly shorter than the other two fliers in the room, yet his presence made him seem bigger. “Yes, but only after I had noticed you were missing.”
Skywarp shrugged, seemingly unaffected by Starscream’s displeasure. “I was just anticipating your orders.” He smiled again. Spike wondered if he usually got a way with things with a smile.
Starscream’s face turned into a sneer. “We didn’t recruit you for the army for your processor, Skywarp. Leave the thinking to smarter mechs. Being… anyone else.” He cocked his head to the side and smiled maliciously.
Skywarp balled his fist but held still.
“Besides, I can’t let you keep bothering poor Thundercracker,” Starscream said with a frown. “How much longer until you are fit for duty?”
“Hook said I need another week.”
“Oh? Is that all?” Starscream flicked his optics to Skywarp and then back to Thundercracker. “Want me to get him out of here?”
Thundercracker shook his helm. “Thanks, but I’m okay.”
Skywarp looked like he was incensed. “I’m not bothering him. I was checking on him.”
“That’s good of you, considering it was your fault he got hurt in the first place.” Starscream was examining the tips of his fingers now and his wings flicked. He glanced up at Skywarp who was now trembling in anger, but he was looking at the floor instead of at Starscream. “Why did you leave the battlefield early?”
Skywarp shrugged, looking up. “Guess I’m too dumb to know the difference between winning and losing a battle.”
Starscream just stared at Skywarp for a moment and then sighed. “Look, ‘Warp, it’s just that I needed you and you weren’t there. With Thundercracker out of commission, I need you to pull double the weight.”
“Isn’t the whole trine supposed to shoulder equal burden?”
“Skywarp,” Thundercracker said softly.
Starscream’s mouth had fallen slightly open but he closed it and then smirked oddly. He looked to Thundercracker and affixed him with a soft gaze. “Let me know if you need anything.” He then turned and left, the clicking of pedes following in his wake.
There was a weird silence in the room as the door closed behind him.
“Primus, Skywarp, the last thing you need to do is to torque off Starscream.”
“He started it! Coming in here calling me stupid.”
"He did do that." Thundercracker shifted a little in the bed. "But he did it because you made him look bad, likely in front of Megatron. And… you did something a little impulsive. Again."
"But I was trying to say… sorry." Skywarp sounded incredibly guilty. "I just wanted to make you laugh."
Thundercracker smiled gently. "To make up for something you did impulsively during a battle, you did something else impulsive during a battle."
Skywarp opened his mouth and then just closed it. "Okay but… I’m still sorry."
Thundercracker sighed. The movement jostled Spike a bit and he softly rapped at the glass of the cockpit.
“Oh! Sorry, Spike.” He opened it and held out his hand for Spike to crawl into, and then deposited him back on the table. "You were a little unfair bringing up trine burdens there, ‘Warp.”
“I… know,” he said slowly. “I just was mad.”
Spike looked back and forth between them, not understanding a bit of what they were talking about. He also didn’t understand where the Decepticons seemed… normal. Like friends bickering but actually caring about each other.
“Hey, I’m sorry to interrupt. Any chance I can get home by the weekend? I’ve got a date.”
Skywarp’s head swiveled on his neck to look at him. “Kind of in the middle of something here, pipsqueak.”
“Yeah well, you brought me here, so the least you could do is return me, like you promised.”
Skywarp grinned and shrugged. “What’s a promise to a ‘Con?”
“Skywarp,” Thundercracker chided again. This time he pinched the bridge of his nose as if trying to relieve the headache that was Skywarp.
“Ugh. Fine,” he said reaching for Spike and putting him into his cockpit. Spike was getting really sick of these jet cockpits. “Take… care, TC,” Skywarp said with a wave.
Thundercracker smiled and waved back. “Spike, it was a pleasure meeting you.”
Spike stuttered. “Ugh- n-nice to meet you too.”
With a snicker and a grin, they dematerialized again.
“Slag, Soundwave is still there,” Skywarp muttered, peering around the corner.
“Just talk past him again,” Spike whispered harshly.
“Err, no, sorry. You can really only get away with doing that once with Soundwave per day-cycle. Trust me, we got lucky before. We’ll just have to wait until he leaves the elevator.”
“Can’t you just warp out of here?”
“I’m a little tired, Spike,” he said. “I’ve been hopping around battlefields and fighting Autobots. Just need to wait a little, okay? Don’t worry, I have an idea on how to pass the time.”
Spike hadn’t really been worried about passing the time, but he just sighed.
They wandered through the base, and Spike wondered if he should be taking notes for the Autobots. But the halls were like a labyrinth, weaving and intertwining in strange ways that made his head spin. He slumped down in the chair in the cockpit and folded his arms. He had really stepped in it this time.
He was going to have a serious talk with Jazz when he got back.
Spike was looking out the yellow glass and saw that Skywarp was holding some kind of chain and was stringing it along the top of some stairs, snickering.
“What are you doing?” Spike asked, perplexed.
“Oh, just a little thing I like to call a prank. You Autobot pets have probably never heard of it.”
Spike scoffed. “I’ll have you know I am heavily involved in Autobot pranks.”
Skywarp’s hands froze as he stopped securing the chain. “Wait, the Autobots prank each other too?”
“Definitely,” Spike said, leaning farther back and kicking his feet up on to the chair in front of him. If only his mom could see him now. He frowned though. “So, someone is going to try and go down the stairs and trip, is that it?”
“Precisely.” He sounded so incredibly gleeful.
“Won’t they see the chain?”
Skywarp paused for a second and looked down at the conspicuous chain. “Probably,” he said after a moment, sounding defeated. “But I’ll get at least one mech.”
“Well, what if you made it clear? I’ve used clear tape before with hilarious results. Tape won’t trip one of you guys-”
“But clear resin nanite bandages would!” Skywarp said excitedly.
“Yeah… that.” Spike shrugged even though no one could see him. Suddenly it occurred to him that helping Skywarp with some of his pranks might actually help sabotage the Decepticon base, and therefore help the Autobots. “Hey Skywarp, what other pranks you got?”
There was a dark laugh and a snicker that made Spike smile.
Starscream stalked down the hallway, pulling out his datapad and tapping it. Inspections of quarters was something he hated doing but he was months behind, and Soundwave was constantly on his case to Megatron. It shouldn’t take long given how much his seekers knew how fastidious he was; if their quarters weren’t perfect, they knew they would be on the receiving end of a shrieking rant.
He had them very well-trained.
But the screaming of frustration and misery he heard from his seekers was new.
He cautiously peered into the seeker barracks and saw that the entire place and every occupant was coated in a fine white powder. It smelled like… talc. His optics flicked from the berths to the blankets to the lights and then to the frames of his usually well-kept seeker squadrons. Mechs were trying to find something to wipe off with, but as soon as they did, more talc from the air would just stick to them again.
Starscream wrinkled his nose but smiled inwardly. He had some pent-up frustration that this yelling session was going to help alleviate.
He took a deep invent and waltzed into the room and began earning his designation.
“You know, this next prank would be perfect to pull on a jet.” Spike was helping Skywarp paint the floor in some kind of sticky, clear adhesive (Spike didn’t know what it was, and frankly, didn’t want to know what it was.
“You mean a seeker?
“…yeah a seeker. You could get this gum stuff up in in their thrusters and then they’ll sputter out randomly. Maybe Thundercracker?
“No, I don’t prank Thundercracker.”
Spike frowned, confused. Thundercracker would be the perfect target, and would likely be kinda nice about it. “Why not-”
“I just don’t okay! Just no.”
“What the frag is going on?! Did everyone just develop a tripping glitch at the same time?!” Hook growled and he buffed out some dents in Astrotrain.
“I just tripped down some stairs, okay, I don’t know what to tell you!”
“You are the fragging tenth mech today.” Hook punctuated his words with applying more pressure from the buffer. “This is all cosmetic, why can’t you all do it yourselves?”
“All our buffers were replaced with high-grit sandpaper, sir.”
“… I see.” But Hook didn’t see. All he got was another pair of mechs walking in through his front door looking sheepish with their paint stripped and dents in their frames.
“So, about this weekend,” Spike ventured as he stirred a hilariously large spoon in an energon cube container. He stood up on some boxes that Skywarp had given him so that he could stir over the concoction, but that made him a little unnervingly close to said concoction. The smell of chemical fumes gave him a headache.
“Right, you have a… date?” Skywarp said, cleaning out a wide bowl. “You gonna… what’s the word… sex?”
Spike nearly fell into the cube. “W-what? I mean…” He sighed, thinking about the pros and cons of discussing this with Skywarp. He decided the hell with it. “We haven’t yet. She just keeps… stopping things before they go there.”
“That’s rough buddy. What have you tried?”
Spike continued to stir even though the spoon began to dissolve. “Well, I’ve tried gifts.”
“…What-” Skywarp started, sounding disgusted.
“I’ve tried hints, uhm, you know like being subtle. I’ve tried you know getting really hot and heavy and she just erm, clams up.”
Skywarp paused and looked at him with confused optics. “Have you tried asking?”
“What do you mean?”
Skywarp put the bowl down and looked at Spike like he was pitiable. He said something under his breath that was in a language that Spike didn’t understand. “Have you asked her if she wanted to do it?”
Spike just started sputtering and dropped the spoon into the concoction. He tried to grab it at the last second, but it slipped into the cube with a slurp. “You can’t just ask that!”
“Of course you can, and you probably should. Maybe she’s got a hang-up? Maybe she’s scared you gonna hurt her? Humans seems to have a big, weird issues about fragging, and not all of them make sense. So, I think you just gotta ask.”
Spike squinted a little more, considering the words. “Asking her? Like just full up asking.”
“I mean you don’t have to be super stupid blunt, but you don’t know maybe she’s got a history. Maybe she’s not sure what you want to do. Maybe she’s into it but is scared you aren’t setting boundaries. What do you think the reason is she’s not going for it?”
“I just thought it was because it was me,” Spike replied quietly, looking down at the table. Carly was so smart and beautiful and honestly too good for him, if he was being completely honest with himself. But he didn’t actually know why she kept avoiding him on this, and begrudgingly, Skywarp was probably right. He did need to ask.
“Could be. It could be you, but you ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed, so it’s worth gettin’ more info, don’t cha think?”
Spike found himself smiling. “Maybe you’re right. What about you; you fragging anybody?”
“Who haven’t I fragged besides Megs and Sounders?”
Spike’s jaw dropped and then he closed it. There was… a lot to unpack there, least of all the nicknames “Megs” and “Sounders.” “You. All are… fragging each other?”
“Yes, absolutely. All the time. Guaranteed right now, somewhere on the base, someone is going at it. Might be in the army, but we ain’t celibate.”
“That’s… interesting,” he said. He could feel his face heating up.
“I guarantee the Autobots are doing it too, little guy.”
“What? No, no, no,” he said holding his hands up. “Nah, no, that’s not…” but then he stopped and thought about it and just started squinting more, screwing his face into confusion and maybe a little bit of shock.
Skywarp gave him a knowing look that honestly looked a little fond. “You still have your seals, hmm?”
Spike’s blush deepened as he could guess what that meant. He just quickly changed the subject.
“What about Thundercracker?”
Skywarp narrowed his optics. “What about him?”
Spike realized he was on to something and grinned. “You fragging him?”
Skywarp just stared for a moment and then heaved a big sigh. “No. No one’s fragging him.”
Spike tried to tamp down his delight. “Kind of a surprise since… everyone is fragging, apparently. And when you say you don’t prank Thundercracker… I kind of wonder.”
There was a palpable silence for a few moments from Skywarp. “I don’t need you reading too much into that,” he said quietly.
Spike cross his arms and gave Skywarp a knowing look. “Have you asked him?”
“Oh yes. I have asked Thundercracker in multiple different ways, in multiple different languages, and it’s been a pretty clear no.” His wings dipped a little bit and looked despondent.
Spike was surprised that he actually wanted to help him. “I wonder if he’s worried about what you are interested in.”
Skywarp frowned and looked like he was thinking hard.
“Okay, so maybe, my method would work for you. Gifts?”
“Well, I brought him you.”
Spike pinched the bridge of his nose. “Right, and he was amused but not super thrilled. I don’t know, Skywarp, maybe he’s looking for something less casual that you usually do. If you are… fragging half the base-”
Skywarp pointed upwards, possibly indicated the percentage was higher, but Spike ignored him.
“-could he be worried that you are just, maybe, collecting? I mean, are you… just trying to get notches on your bedpost?”
Skywarp looked like he didn’t quite understand the reference but got the gist of it. “At first… I mean a million years ago or so, maybe. But more recently I just want him so bad. I’ll take him any way he wants.”
“Uh… Skywarp?”
“If he wants me to be a one-mech seeker, frag, I’ll do it. I’ll swear off all casual ‘facing if he wants. I’ll let him do anything he wants to me-”
“O-okay, yeah sounds good-”
“And if he wants me to suck-”
“SKYWARP, thank you I got it. Maybe go tell him that?” Spike said wincing.
“What like now?”
Spike sighed. “Whenever you want, just… don’t tell me, tell him, you know?”
Skywarp smiled. “You’re not too bad, Spike. I might ask Megatron to spare you when we take over your planet.”
Spike sighed. “…Thanks, Skywarp.”
“I feel like you can definitely bag that girl you’re looking for, and maybe that bigger human you are always hanging around with. If you want.”
“…my dad?”
“Frag, what does dad mean again?”
“Creator,” Thundercracker said walking into the room.
Spike noticed Skywarp visibly perked up when he heard Thundercracker’s voice. He smiled just a bit wider and his eyes were bright. “Wait,” Skywarp said suddenly. “Your creator? How old are you?”
“18,” Spike replied. “How did you know what a dick was but not what dad means?” He coughed a little at the fumes from the cube. “God, what is in this stuff, Skywarp?”
“Paint stripper,” he said with a terrible smile. “And frankly… I pick up slang by priority. Thundercracker, you might want to leave. You might not want knowledge of this,” he said with a wink.
And to Spike’s surprise, Thundercracker’s wings twitched. He had been hanging around with Cybertronians long enough now to know that meant… something. Probably good for Skywarp.
“18? You’re barely an adult,” Thundercracker said, picking him up and pulling him away from the vat of fumes. “Skywarp, you stole a youngling.”
Skywarp frowned and looked back at Spike. “Slag, is that what kid means?”
“Skywarp.”
“Okay, okay, I’m going to return him. He’s just been so helpful!” Skywarp smirked and grabbed the concoction and poured it into the bowl. He then grabbed a metal pole, gave them both a wink, and then warped out in a flash. “Be right back!”
“What is he doing now?” Thundercracker groaned.
“Er, I have… no idea,” Spike lied. “You’re, uh, looking better?”
Thundercracker flashed him a genuine smile. “Thanks; walking around helps. I’m sorry he hasn’t returned you yet.”
“As long as I go home soon, I guess no harm done,” he said with a shrug, surprising himself how much he meant it.
They heard distant yelling, and some laughing. Then Skywarp appeared back in the room again.
“Managed to nab Wildrider,” he smirked.
Spike gave him a hidden thumbs up so Thundercracker couldn’t see.
“What did you do?”
“Go take a look!” Skywarp reached over and gathered up Spike and put him into his cockpit. It was significantly gentler than the previous times he had done this.
They peered into the hallway and saw Wildrider standing with some other Decepticons gathered around him. He was holding a pole with the bowl on top, pressed up against the ceiling. Should he try to walk away, it was going to be very difficult for him to do so without the paint stripper getting all over him.
“Did you say the thing?” Spike asked from his cockpit.
“HA, yeah I did. ‘Hey look at this magic trick, I can do, just hold this for me!’ You’d think a Decepticon would not be so gullible.”
“SKYWARP!” Wildrider cried.
Skywarp shrugged, laughing. He threw a glance to Thundercracker who had an amused expression and his arms folded.
“Hey, uh, TC, can we… talk? About something?”
Thundercracker gave him a wary side-glance. “If it’s about interface-”
“No, no, I uh. Can we just… talk?”
Thundercracker’s look softened a little. “…Sure. After you return Spike.”
Skywarp smirked. “Oh, I’ll return Spike alright.”
“Skywarp!” Spike yelled from the cockpit.
“Right, right,” he said smirking. “Back soon!”
“Are you honestly telling me you never saw the ‘Bots doing nothing together?”
“No!” Spike cried for the umpteenth time. “I didn’t even know you guys like had… romance and stuff!”
“Must be keeping it under wraps, then.”
“Well, I mean, it’s their business, they don’t need to have out there and everything.”
“Must be afraid of upsetting your poor little human sentiments, huh? Awfully nice of them.” Skywarp banked a little over the water towards the direction of what Spike hoped was the Autobot’s base.
Skywarp transformed and landed in a field nearby. He opened his cockpit and gently put him down just as Jazz and a few other Autobots appeared with their guns trained on him.
“As promised. One gently used Spike, returned to you!”
“SPIKE!” Sparkplug yelled. “Are you alright, son?”
Spike looked up at Skywarp giving him a smile. “Yeah, I’m good, dad.”
Skywarp held up his servos in surrender, waving his digits. “See? He’s good. And a little more enlightened.”
Jazz narrowed his eyes but didn’t comment. He waved Spike over to come to their side, and Spike complied after giving Skywarp a wink.
“Take care of yourself, kid,” Skywarp said before dematerializing and disappearing from view.
Jazz knelt down onto the ground, looking Spike over. “I’m so sorry, Spike. Are you okay?”
“Oh yeah, I’m fine. I just helped Skywarp prank some Decepticons, it really wasn’t a big deal.”
Sparkplug tussled his hair affectionately. “Knew you’d be fine.” He then jumped into the cab of Ironhide as they left to go back to the base. Jazz transformed and opened his door, offering a seat to Spike.
“Anyway, Jazz, listen, I have a new nickname for you. It’s an Earth honorific meaning ‘sharp and quick-witted.’”
“Really? Ah mech, thanks, I feel bad I couldn’t stop Skywarp from taking ya though.”
“No problem… prick.”
“Prick huh? That’s not a bad name.”
“Suits you great, Jazz.” Spike leaned back in the seat, putting his arms behind his head in relaxation. He thought about his little adventure and found himself smiling like a goof. Quite the day.
“Now, Jazz, question for you,” he asked with a smirk. “Are you fragging anyone on base?”
Jazz almost swerved into a tree.