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The day was not jinxed.
Eddie refuses to admit that even when they were trapped in the literal deathtrap or when their firetrucks got hijacked. In fact, his ball is already rolling the way he directs and things are going smoothly considering. Ana had already texted back last night, and she's open to the idea of them grabbing breakfast together.
Real smooth.
So no, Eddie's shift was not jinxed and in fact is going to be better. His talk with Bobby finally put his worldview into perspective of seeing things from different angle.
An angle that includes him considering dating again and move on from the ghost of his late wife.
And Eddie is giddy at the thought, the same feeling he had felt during his teenage years when Elizabeth had asked him out for an ice-cream date. The giddiness eventually mixes with nervousness when he finally admits to the team, that he already had another plan and not going to join them this morning. He sees Bobby smiling knowingly, at the same time noticing a flicker of unidentified emotion plays over Buck's face just seconds before the blonde finally offer him a small smile which tug his heart a little, but Eddie is too excited to dwell on it.
So what? Maybe he had forgotten to mention his plan to Buck, but the man is a traitor, feigning innocence as he nonchalantly outed Eddie about Ana to the team without any ounce of remorse. Yeah, Eddie is not feeling guilty at all. Serve him right.
As he sits in the metal chair at the cafe looking over at the unfamiliar menu, his unyielding nervousness finally tramples the excitement, afraid that Ana might stood him up.
He's a mess. A single father who has lots of unpacked baggage on his shoulders.
But he's lucky the team is there to support him nevertheless. It is even a bigger surprise that Buck decides to stay with him unconditionally after all this while since his first day at the firehouse. Even after all the cock-up attitude. Like a golden retriever guarding his own territory; adorable with a bit of annoyance, stepping on Eddie's nerves. Which he still does sometimes. Urgh, this only reminds him of the coffee maker. At least it makes great coffee so Eddie can't stay mad at Buck although he is still very wary around the thing.
His mind has long forgotten the menu and what to choose. Wondering with every passing minutes if Ana could see through his mess and decides that Eddie is not worth her time.
But half of them fly out of the window when Ana arrives, looking very pretty and sweet and Eddie can't help but to gush.
Initiating and keeping small talk is never his strong suit, that is Buck's. Always finding a new topic to talk about, knowing Eddie will listen. Eddie on the other hand, is good at providing commentary, but to start one, that really is his weakest trait.
Eddie stumbles a little in the beginning to find the correct words and joining phrases, but he finally got a grip of their conversation after a while. Ana doesn't seemed to mind much at his fumbling, so Eddie takes that as a win. They dive into various topics, discussing and debating their opinions. To be honest, Eddie owes Buck for the fun general and random knowledge he has now possess, which outright are incredible conversation starter.
After the waiter comes by to refill their water, Eddie admittedly thinks the date is a success by his own definition. And towards the end of their time together, Eddie is back to feeling giddy. Ana is an intelligent, amazing, and accomplished woman and it is an honour for him to spend an after shift breakfast with her.
So yeah, despite the rumoured 'jinxs', Eddie honestly feels like his day had turned for the best and he has a great well-spent morning.
Eddie packs some bagels for Christopher and Abuela when they are about to leave, and even sneaks in a chocolate muffin as a treat for his son, too excited to meet the little man after a long day and a date. Abuela's disapproving look at the sugary food early in the morning could not dampen Eddie's mood.
Nope. Edmundo Diaz is back in the game.
///
Eddie walks with renewed exuberance as he steps into the firehouse 24 hours later, still feeling bubbly over the successful date and a promise for a second one soon after.
Eventhough he hadn't share the story with Christopher (yet), Eddie is eager to share it with his best friend, who is now grinning stupidly (adorably) at his phone in front his locker.
"What do you got there?" Eddie half expects it to be about some wacky facts Buck manages to get hold of. Last time it was about some dark history of nursery rhymes and bedtime tales, which got Buck hit on the head by Hen with the medicine book for ruining her children's and her own childhood.
"Eh, nothing much. Just trying to fix a place for a date that is both silly and romantic." Buck replies casually, eyes still glued to the screen, the tips of his tongue peeking from his lips just like he usually does when Buck is deep in concentration.
At the uttered words, Eddie somehow feels like the happiness he had experienced for the past two days suddenly drained completely dry of him, leaving him hollow and empty.
So Buck finally got a date.
And why is this news to him?
And apparently he had stupidly said those out loud because Buck looks up to him excitedly with the widest grin plastered on his face.
"Yeah. Finally got myself a date after years of chronic singleness." Buck confirms with twinkles in his bright blue eyes.
Eddie swallows, suddenly feeling very tired. Buck announcing that he got a date to plan seems to not sit very well with Eddie today. Is he jealous Buck's plan is going to be the highlight with the team over Eddie's dating life? That Buck putting himself out there is stealing Eddie's thunder when he finally and painfully moves on from Shannon?
Now however, Eddie is hating the idea of Buck dating instead of being happy for the younger man. And that got him so confused because he wants to be happy for Buck, but he can't and he doesn't even know why.
"Who is the unfortunate girl?" Eddie attempts to tease, trying hard to feign interest.
"Taylor Kelly." Buck shrugs, still typing on his phone.
"The reporter?!" Eddie (almost) shrieks, at the same time (almost) drops his bag.
If anything, Buck knows Eddie hates her gut and honestly, she is not a good match for Buck. She brought out the worse out of his best friend, used him like a piece of meat, never bat an eye.
"Isn't she's the worse?" Eddie snarks as he pulls his uniform change from the bag.
Buck just shrugs his shoulders again. "Um, she's not bad." Buck tries to placate. "But I think she's changed. An upgrade. Just like Buck 3.0, she might be Taylor 2.0, a much more considerate person than the previous version."
"And how do you know that?" Eddie does not sneer. And enough with the upgrade talk, his best friend sounds like the damn Hildy. Eddie just wants Buck, plain ole' Buck.
"I bumped with her at the cafe after our breakfast. She recognised the team after we saved a patient with a heart attack. We chatted a bit...and she was genuinely concerned about the patient."
"You know I hate her guts." Eddie can't mask the look of grudge on his face and he knows Buck sees it loud and clear.
"Well, if you decides Ana is worth a second chance even after she let Christopher hurt himself, I honestly think this new Taylor Kelly is worth a shot." Buck retorts playfully complete with a wink before closing his locker and run up to the loft, exclaiming something about Bobby's special omelette.
Eddie genuinely does not know how to argue with that logic.
///
Eddie hates this feeling.
He knows he is being a bad friend, but he can't in good faith condone Buck going out with Taylor Kelly.
"So Buck, have you decided where to bring her?" Chimney asks from behind his coffee mug after Eddie follows Buck up to the loft.
"Chimney knows?" Eddie mutters begrudgingly, nodding a silent thank you to Bobby when the Captain hands him a plate of steaming omelette. Why does Chim got to know this news first before him? Isn't he's the best friend?
Buck frowns at his attitude, but doesn't say anything. "Yeah, Chimney knows. He was there." He simply remarks before turning back to Chim. "And Josh says the arcade is a good choice."
So what? Eddie missed a team breakfast and now he is the last to know about Buck's date with Taylor Kelly.
"Huh, I must have missed his text in the group chat." Chimney says as he puts down his coffee mug and grab his phone, before scrolling through the unread messages.
"You guys got a group chat?" Eddie asks incredulously, suddenly feeling left out because he thought he was in every group chat there is with Buck.
"Yeah, Josh, Buck and me. It supposed to be for poker night because Maddie is infallible." Chimney explains without batting an eye at Eddie's "sudden" grumpiness.
Buck laughs at that.
Great.
Another inside joke that he had missed.
"So, how was your off day Eddie?" Hen pipes up from opposite of the table.
"And the morning plan after a jinxed shift?" Bobby adds, wearing the same pleased smile as before Eddie left to meet Ana, only now the emotions raging in his heart are like the total opposite.
"Yeah, went to grab some breakfast with Ana." Suddenly he does not really like the word 'date' this morning.
"At least someone got an uninterrupted breakfast." Chimney sighs, jealousy clear in his voice and Eddie is positive there are more stories there.
"Damn, you lucky bastard. We got jinxed through and after breakfast. Thank the EMS God it's finally over." Buck says dramatically, nodding upwards with his hands clasp together as if in prayer.
On good day, Eddie will smirk at his friends and Buck's antics.
But today's supposed to be a good day.
Eddie stares at the lone omelette on his plate, still confuse at why is he feeling this way?
He went on a date. A good date.
Buck is going out for one too, soon.
So they're both finally get their dating life in order, not ailing with some chronic singleness anymore like Buck had said before.
But now, why does it feels like Eddie's day is getting jinxed?
///
Buck had chatted animatedly with Eddie and the team all morning about random topics that got nothing to do with his oncoming plan with Taylor Kelly.
And Eddie honestly is quite pleased with it. At least it shows that the woman is not the only thing that occupies Buck's head.
It is until they were on their way back to the station from a medical call when Buck pipes up with, "Taylor is cool with the arcade." He grins at all of them, before landing his eyes expectantly on Eddie.
Eddie tries so hard to return his smile with a nod to show that he is listening, but doesn't offer any comment. They sometimes bring Christopher to the arcade, and now it feels so weird to know Buck is going on date at one.
Chimney pops his chewing gum. "Awesome! When's the date?"
Buck has thoughtful look on his face before answering. "I got Sunday afternoon off."
"Aren't you off from Saturday afternoon? Why not go out on Saturday night. It's gonna be more romantic." Chimney offers suggestively, with a smile that can only means one thing.
"I can't. I've promised Chris to help him with a project, and Saturday night is a movie night." Buck explains like it is a normal routine for a single 29 year old man will have.
"And Sunday morning is breakfast with Chris?" Hen asks knowingly before smiling slyly at Eddie.
"Yeah!" Buck beams brightly. "Chris has been begging me to try the viral mini pancakes cereals."
"Mm hmm." Hen nods with a twinkles in her eyes. "And when are you planning to go out with Ana again, Eddie?" She smoothly change the target, still smirking her signature smile, just like everytime she does when she knows something before anyone else does.
"Saturday afternoon." Eddie mutters quietly under his breath, now regretting for telling the team about Ana after Buck outed him.
"Interesting. So I take that Buck will be baby sitting Christopher while you're gone?" She continues her prodding, even though she very well know the answer to her question.
"Yeah." Buck chimes in happily at the thought of spending time with the little Diaz. "I can't wait! We'll be having a sleepover." He adds, totally oblivious to Hen's prodding.
"Interesting indeed." Hen smirks devilishly.
Eddie just grunts at the remarks. He got enough time to organise his thoughts and feelings.
///
Saturday morning arrives in a blink and Eddie did not had his thoughts and feelings in order and now they are all still scrambled around the place that is his heart and mind.
As their shift is reaching the end, Eddie has been second guessing every decision he made throughout the day up until this very second.
Is the change he had brought along is fancy enough?
Should he change at home instead go directly from the station?
Does he even need to go for the date?
"What's up?" Chim's sudden greeting breaks Eddie from his frenzied stupor.
"Nothing." Eddie answers a tad automatically.
"Right...." Chim drawls. "Is this about the lunch date with Ana?"
Eddie sighs. "I don't know?" Totally sounds like a question instead of an answer. But in Eddie's defence, he really does not know.
"What?" Chim took a seat beside him on the bench. "I thought you like her? The first date was a success, wasn't it?" He continues as he friendly nudges Eddie in the shoulder.
Eddie wipes his face in resignation. There's no running away from this. "Yeah, about that. I thought I like her. But now... I'm just..." Eddie couldn't place the word to it.
"Having second thoughts?" Chim offers.
"I don't know. Maybe? I...I really don't know." Eddie slumps his head to his chest, feeling defeated and overwhelmed.
"What made you to have these thoughts?"
Eddie shrugs, trying to recall the 'what' and the 'why'.
Or maybe...it is a 'who'.
Eddie went to a date, and now he is going for a second one this afternoon, while Buck look after his son, finishing some school project Eddie has lost track which one. And tomorrow is Buck's turn to go out too, after he spent his Sunday morning with Chris doing the mini pancakes cereals. And Buck is going to spend his whole afternoon, maybe evening too with Taylor Kelly. Maybe Buck will come late to his next shift so he can spend more time with her.
Eddie sighs harder.
Oh God, now he is spiraling.
"Well," Chimney slaps him on back encouragingly before continues, "someone did say to me; tomorrow is not promised to anyone. So if you like her, stay on the course to see how things goes. If not, she doesn't deserve to be led on. You too, deserve to be happy, whatever your choice is. But choose to be happy, now."
Their sage moment is interrupted by Buck who skips enthusiastically towards them with his eyes twinkling so bright, they could light up the room.
Which is an invite for Chim to jab at him. "Someone's seems excited."
"Yup! I've researched so hard for Chris' project and I can't wait to share them with him." Buck squeals delightfully as he opens his locker to grab his civies.
"Oh, I was referring to your date with Taylor Kelly tomorrow." Chim teases.
"Oh yeah. And that too." Buck shrugs noncommittally, still donning a dopey smile on his face. "Well, I see you this evening Eddie. Have fun!" And with that the bundle of energy strides towards the shower, leaving Chimney grinning silently at Eddie.
"What?" Eddie asks, clear annoyance drips through the syllables.
Chimney just put both of his hands up in surrender before leaving the locker room without any further comment.
Yeah, Eddie is still feeling jinxed.
///
Eddie choose an unfamiliar restaurant for their lunch and not some place Buck and he frequent. Just...because.
Now driving towards their agreed location, new set of butterflies have been dancing ruthlessly in his stomach, Eddie swears he's getting a cramp.
Ana is already there when he arrives, nursing her glass of what Eddie guesses some kind of juice. And she looks stunning as usual, donning a well-matched baby blue blouse and white crimped skirt.
"Hey." Eddie finally greets her after stalling for some time outside the restaurant.
"Hello." She smiles sweetly, tucking stray hairs behind her ear.
Great. Things are going a-okay.
They made small talks, catching up with each others' life for the past few days, you know, the usual.
It was until Ana brought up Chris, because let's be honest, that's the conversation starter an Eddie Diaz will dive into so deep he won't resurface for some time. Sue him, he likes talking about his son. So if Ana shows any ounce of interest to chat about Chris, Eddie will bite to it every single time.
"What's your plan with Christopher this weekend? I understand is not often you got the weekend off." Ana asks as she looks up from her aglio olio.
"Oh, we're having movie night tonight. He made Buck promised to watch some movie called "Soul" or something, with two flavoured popcorns. And tomorrow they are trying a viral pancakes cereals hacks apparently. Now from the sound of that, my son is having way too much sugar for the weekend." Eddie perks up, oblivious to his ramblings.
Ana chuckles. "So I assume he's with Buck?"
Eddie's taken aback. "You know Buck?"
Ana wipes her mouth before answering. "Oh yeah. Chris talks about his Buck in the journal all the time when I was his teacher. Even some in the essays."
It's never lost to Eddie how Buck genuinely like to spend his time with Christopher even though he doesn't has the obligation to do so. But Buck always go extra miles and beyond for Chris. Anything to make his son happy and doesn't feel like he is missing out on childhood or life generally, when it is easier for adult to simply dismiss a child with CP and put some limitations on them without giving them a chance to try out by themselves. But not Buck.
"It's great to have someone you can rely on, you know. That have your back." The words automatically stumble passed his lips.
Ana smiles at that. "Of course. I understand being a single father is never easy."
Eddie hums, his mind keep drifting to a warm place bathed in sunshine where Chris will sit and play, beating Buck's butt in videogames, sometimes doing his homework or eating his snacks that Buck prepares. Buck is so much better than him in cutting bunny apples.
"I felt very bad after the skateboarding incident. To be honest, I never would have thought you'd asked me out." Ana says, cutting Eddie off his daydream.
Oh.
"It was...uh...not a fun conversation." Eddie scratches his head, not really wanting to continue with the direction of the conversation.
"Moving on from skateboarding, has Chris finds new interest yet?" Ana continues the chat, still twirling the fork in her spaghetti.
"What?" Eddie belatedly realise there's a defensive note in his tone.
"I mean, kids nowadays are curious and resourceful. I'm sure Chris would find other adventure he wants to explore." She puts down her fork, noticing the tension in Eddie's response.
"Oh, he skateboard alright." Eddie chuckles at the memory. Because Buck had built him one. Because Buck doesn't set a limitation to a child with CP. Because Buck doesn't tell his kid to stop and look somewhere else.
"Have you heard about Jim Abbott?"
Ana has a quizzical look on her face, not sure where the conversation is heading.
"He's a major league baseball pitcher who was born without a right hand. And apparently was able to pitch a no hitter too." Eddie stops to sip on some water. "At first I thought, no amount of practice could make Chris able to skate." He continues after putting down the glass. "But I was wrong."
Ana clasps her hands together, waiting Eddie to continue.
"Jim Abbott needed to pitch differently, so does Christopher. He just need to skateboard differently."
Being different is not a limitation.
Just like how people identify themselves differently.
How people loves differently.
///
Eddie is greeted with soft music coming from the kitchen the moment he steps through the front door.
The honey-like rhythm guides him towards the kitchen entryway to see both Buck and Chris deeply contemplating on some paper cuttings at the island, not noticing Eddie's arrival.
Eddie's smile widens.
They do love differently.
"Hey." He finally breaks the serenity, much to his chagrin because the scene unfolded before him is exactly what has been playing on his mind for the past hours.
Warm place basked in sunshine.
"Daddy!" Chris cheers from his chair with Buck smiles lovingly from his side.
"Hey, you want something to drink?" Buck offers, already trotting towards the fridge.
"Buck made some cucumber juice for me. It's so yummy, you should try some, Dad! I never thought cucumber could be delicious." Chris pipes from the island, smiling toothily.
"If a vegetable protestor could attest to that, yes, I would love some." Eddie moves from the entryway to hug his son, taking in the mess of school supplies and colourful paper cuttings littering the surface of the island.
"One cucumber juice coming right up!" Buck grins, already grabbing the necessary ingredients and appliances. It's so easy to see how Buck is feeling at home, in Eddie's home.
Afterwards, Eddie is left to nurse his drinks silently as Buck continues to guide Chris with his school project on great lakes. He could totally hear Chris suggesting a camping trip to one of those lakes, probably working on the BuckChris puppy eyes duo.
This is easy.
This doesn't feel like his life getting jinxed.
Except the knowledge that Buck is meeting Taylor Kelly tomorrow keeps bugging his head.
///
Night falls quickly when the day is well-spent.
And Eddie got until the end of bedtime story to get his feelings in check. He even sabotaged Buck, making Chris asking for two chapters instead of one so that Eddie could buy more time.
"That kid is too damn great at bargaining." Buck's voice suddenly emerges from behind of Eddie's back, startling him where he stands.
"Are you okay?" Buck puts up his hand, not meaning any harm after seeing Eddie jumps in his place.
"Yeah. Just..long day." Eddie wipes his face, making a beeline towards the fridge before pulling out two beers.
"You tell me." Buck smirks teasingly. Despite the fact that he had unapologetically told the team about Ana, Buck has never once brought her up in front of Chris, knowing Eddie isn't prepared for 'the talk' yet.
"How's the lunch date?" Buck starts after popping the lid off and continue to take a long swig.
Which Eddie promptly follows suit, because he needs the magic mojo some beer could conjure to speak up. Because the next phrase coming out from his mouth is never easy to say.
"It's nice, but it's not you."
That got Buck staring at him all wide eyed, with his lips gaping open around the bottleneck. It will be more funny if he accidentally drools some of the beer, but life is not a cartoon apparently.
Seeing that Buck completely frozen in place, Eddie takes the opportunity to continue before the courage he compiles all day fade to nothing.
"I told Bobby that I was not over Shannon." Eddie takes a step closer to Buck, standing directly in the blonde's space before taking away the beer bottle and placing it on the counter.
"And the wise man said to me that sometimes people focus too much on what they don't have, that they miss the chance to have something else, something real." Eddie could hear Buck's breath hitches, but the younger man remains unmoving.
"When Bobby said that I need to move on, right after Ana's name was brought up, I thought that he meant for me to move on with her." Eddie could see the flicker of disappointment in the blonde's blue eyes before Buck averted his eyes away from Eddie's.
"But Bobby also said that everyday, I will heal a little bit more until one morning, I'll wake up and losing Shannon is not the first thing I think about." Eddie feels like he's being braver with every minutes that Buck stays and not running away, so he steps even closer and take the younger man's hands in his palms.
"And Buck, there were countless morning I've woken up and not thinking about Shannon but Chris, and you. You've been the first thing I think about when I woke up this morning too." That got Buck to look back at him again, and Eddie can clearly see the hopefulness in the baby blues. "When I learnt that you're going out with Taylor, I feel like my whole life has been jinxed." Eddie tighten his grip of Buck's hands, brushing his thumbs at the warm skin.
"The universe has been screaming at me, I'm just too blind to see." They both laugh at Buck's epiphany.
"Buck, you are my 'something real'. So please, don't go out with Taylor tomorrow." Eddie cups Buck's jaw in his palm, looking right into the eyes of the love of his life, his partner, and the man who loves his son unconditionally.
"Yeah." Buck chuckles wetly, tears starting to pool at the edge of his eyes.
"Yeah?"
"Yes. And I really need you to kiss me now or I'll think this is all a dream." Buck whispers.
Eddie immediately moves forward, sealing their lips together like they're belong all this while.
"I wanna wake up tomorrow and the first thing I'll see is you. Stay the night?" Eddie says when they finally breaks apart for air.
"If you'll have me."
///
And if on the next shift Bobby got a different kind of pleased smile thrown towards Eddie, that's his business.