Archive of Our Own ^beta

‘You know that unconscious shit happens naturally, pretty damn hard to force it not to’.

‘I don’t care, my body not yours’.

‘Yeah yeah, now how do I use your goo blaster thing?’.

‘Right elbow, twitch like you or I or whatever, have an itch’.

‘Well that’s vague’.

Phantom can feel Red mentally glare at him but he just rolls her eyes. Shooting her board forwards and maneuvering it with ease, as he chases after the centipede; which has unfortunately gotten pretty far away by now.

‘Phantom... how do you know how to use my board?’.

‘Uh, I’ve done it before? That and it’s pretty straightforward’.

‘What! When?! And bullshit, I took days of practice to maneuver it this well’.

Phantom quickly jerks to the right as the centipede tries to smash his tail into them. 

‘When I got us out of the Zone, when Skulker abducted us. I got you home my way, which yes, meant over-shadowing’.

‘You ass! But fine, good enough reason’.

‘And Red, your board is way easier than my tail and that’s attached to me’.

Phantom manages to use her blaster after a few tries which he can feel her snickering about. Shooting off the goo to melt away some scales on the mid-back of the centipede. Ducking low on the board he flies them in. 

Phantom’s kind of glad for the full-body suit right about now, since this thing is dripping ectoplasm all over them. Red pipes up again as Phantom is flying them through twists and turns of what’s basically a giant maze, all lined with what’s basically egg sacs. Really ugly slimy egg sacs. 

‘Okay this is disgusting, you are helping me get this off my suit’.

‘It’ll be a lot worse if those sacs burst, which will happen if I, or I guess we, don’t find the right one in about thirty seconds’.

‘Well you fucking better, driver’.

Phantom mutters out loud, “that’s what I’m trying to do”. Flying past one of the offshoot hallways Phantom jerks to a stop, flies backwards and speeds down the hall. Smirking the whole time, “found you”.

’Care to explain why I couldn’t just play scavenger hunt myself?’.

‘One, I could sense about where it is. And two you can’t just shoot it, that’ll make everything way worse’.

Phantom feels quite satisfied with himself at Red mentally grumbling to herself. Phantom starts rubbing Red’s hands on the sac and a bunch of lights show up on it. He starts tapping the lights wildly in a specific pattern, that he forced himself to memorise after one too many unpleasant encounters with this thing.

’How many times have you had to do this?’.

Phantom completely ignores her, which she mentally glares at him for. But watching the sac turn green and liquify, Phantom grins, “Hell yeah!”.

‘More times than I like and here comes the unpleasant part’.

‘Um what?’.

After about a second or two the entire ghost just liquifies into very wet jello-like green ectoplasm. Half climbing and half swimming, Phantom gets them to the surface and sits them down on Red’s board, shaking the ectoplasm off her hands.

’This is disgusting. Again, you’re helping me clean my suit’.

‘Try doing that without a helmet. Shit gets into everything. And yeah sure, I’m not an ass’.

‘Well, could you get out of me now?’.

He nods her head a little, “yeah yeah, sure”. But before he has a chance Red’s suit electrocutes him which results in him knocking Red out cold, accidentally. Jerking, “what the fuck!”, shaking her head he tries to actually hop out of her but nothing happens. “Oh fuck”, mentally poking Red back into consciousness.

‘What the Hell, Phantom!’.

‘Your suit shocked me, or us, lost my grip on the not knocking you out thing’,

’Fine’.

Phantom shifts a bit awkwardly on her board. ‘There’s uh, a bit of a problem though. I can’t seem to get out now’.

‘What! Did you even try?’.

‘Of course I tried! I’m not an asshole, and no offence but I like my own body. Preferably not inside someone else’s, even if it’s you’.

‘Uh, you’re not half bad yourself but seriously, you can’t get out?’.

Phantom nods her head but tries again anyways, this time Red can actually feel him trying to get out but both can tell that somehow the suit is stopping him. Frowning, Phantom flies them into an alleyway.

‘Okay that’s weird, it would be really dumb for my suit to have a feature like this. I’m guessing we’re in an alley so you can deactivate my suit?’.

‘Yup, not about to reveal you in broad daylight’.

’I don’t even know how I feel about that, you’ve revealed me before’.

‘Only to your own dad. To stop you from a damn suicide mission’.

Phantom shakes her head and deactivates the suit, or at least attempts to. Talking out loud while looking down at her still suit-covered body, “uh, unless this works differently from last time, we’ve got another problem”. 

‘Oh come on! I bet you anything that weird ectoplasm is at fault here’.

Sighing. ‘Yeah probably, I swear I had no clue though’.

’I believe you, this doesn’t really benefit either of us’.

With a groan, Phantom summons Red’s board out again and flies them both to her place. Landing in her bedroom, 

‘I’m guessing you have suit repair stuff’.

‘Yeah, though my suit’s self-repairing, usually. Just grab the diagnostic machine from my closet. It looks like a PDA but red and pointy’.

Phantom chuckles as he pulls it out, looking exactly like what she described. Thinking to himself about how Tuck would love to get his hands on this. Flopping down on her bed.

‘Now open up the panel on the underside of my left arm and plug it in. It’s just a push and pop, I’m sure you can do that’.

‘What do you take me for, a moron? Well, you’re absolutely right’.

‘You’re awful’.

Phantom leans them back on her bed as he waits for the machines results. He can’t help but smirk at a couple of the glow-in-the-dark stars on the roof.  

’You know, I can feel what you’re doing with my face. What? My stars not to your liking?’.

Phantom can feel the sarcasm there and chuckles almost loudly at that.

‘Red, my ceiling’s covered in them. Ancients, I’d stick these fake ones on everything if that wouldn’t make me look insane’.

’My knowledge on lairs is pretty small, Phantom. Couldn’t you just make literal stars everywhere?’.

Phantom laughs again as the machine starts beeping, grabbing it as he responds to Red.

‘Pretty sure Amity Park would have problems with me doing that. Might make it hard to drive or live with literal balls of flaming gas everywhere! Even fake ones would make things difficult, for everyone involved’.

’Wait, all of Amity is your lair?!’.

Phantom nods as he stares at the screen, “uh, the Zone does any of this mean?”. Rubbing Red’s neck, “and yes, all of Amity is my lair, though I have my own little room inside Amity as well”.

‘That’s major contamination, need a system flush. We’re stuck for a bit, and seriously? Why is there such a ghost issue then? Shouldn’t you be able to keep them out or whatever? And you better not be messing with people’.

Phantom can feel her glare, though he can tell she’s more curious than genuinely angry. 

‘You can’t just keep ghosts out, all you can do is make your lair a place they really don’t want to go. Tons of humans is pretty well attracting them, looking to mess around with them. Amity would be a very unpleasant place for anyone but me to live, if I went out of my way to make Amity unappealing to ghosts. And there’s nothing wrong with a prank or two’.

Phantom rolls her eyes at Red’s continued mental glaring, “I don’t mean anything nasty, so chill. You know me better than that, I’d hope”. Sitting up and glaring at the little device, “so... system flush?”.

’Just push the green button, red one, and blue one, at once. And you’re right, I do know you better than to be mean. Thanks, I guess, for not screwing with Amity. Lots of folks live here. You really are as protective of the people as much as the town, aren’t you?’.

Phantom nods and smiles warmly as he pushes the buttons. Jumping a bit at the sudden weird tingling and movement in her body's veins, but shaking his head a bit amused at Red’s mental laughter. 

‘Trust me, having two or four bodies feels weirder, that was just unexpected. I forget your suit is literally inside you and part of you. And what? You gonna sue me for being a protective little shit. I care more about the people than the town. Buildings can be fixed, people just can’t’.

Phantom can’t help but shiver at some old memories. He could feel Red’s shock, though he’s glad she seems kind of happy.

’I’m not sure I want to know what your sudden disturbed feeling was about. But that’s good you care about the people. Man, I really used to be a real dick to you’.

‘Don’t worry about it, I don’t really care much about myself getting hurt. And no you don’t, I wish I didn’t. Well, sorta; it’s complicated. Anyway, how long does this take?’.

‘We are both messes, but about six hours’.

Phantom flops them back down on the bed and fiddles with Red’s fingers in front of Red’s face. Blinking her eyes a bit before muttering, “oh well, that’s, uh, not actually good, shit”.

’Oh now what?’.

‘Well, the stupid weapon that shorted my powers is gonna wear off in about an hour. And they’re going to be a bit... squirrely‘.

’So what? You’re just going to use them at random?’.

‘Pretty much, only easy to use ones though. Might fall through the bed a couple of times or start sneezing ice’.

’That is going to be very weird, it won’t hurt me will it?’.

Phantom rubs her neck and chuckles awkwardly. ‘Uh, can’t say I know for sure. But it is safe to use my powers in someone else’s body. This really isn’t a power I use much’.

‘That’s just great. Well, try not to hurt me’.

‘Of course, and I’m guessing you’ll need to sleep at some point?’.

Thinking to himself, about how he really needs to himself and he’s not even a regular human. 

’Duh, which is going to be a whole new level of weird. Do you even know how to sleep?’.

Phantom can’t help but start laughing his ass off, putting Red’s arm over her eyes. “Sometimes I think I don’t, Ancients! But yes, Zone yes”. Ancients, he was so sleep deprived.

‘Not sure why that’s so funny, ghosts don’t sleep, so it’s a damn valid question’.

‘It just is. Just chalk it up as another weird aspect of the enigma that is Phantom’.

‘How do you manage to be so powerful, horrible, and cute’.

Phantom coughs, caught a bit off guard, “what was that?”.

’Uh’.

Phantom laughs playfully at that complete lack of a response, “well then”. He can also tell Red’s grumbling to herself, probably berating herself for saying that ‘out loud’. Which honestly just makes him snicker to himself. 

‘Jerk’.

‘Oh come on, you’re all those things too. I’m just not embarrassed to say it, well, think it; in your general direction’, shrugging, ‘but hey, at least you weren’t twenty-four years old this time’.

‘What? What the fuck? You’re less of a jerk now, but what?’.

‘’What the fuck’ is a pretty accurate way to describe time travel. You look pretty good with a buzz cut by the way’.

‘That’s insane, what uh, what was I like?’.

‘Pretty much the same, didn’t really talk much. You realised I was from the past, called me cute, and then passed out’.

‘Wow, somehow that feels really lame’.

‘That was the only real highlight of that day. Pretty shit day. Come to think of it, every-time time travel is involved shit gets really messed up’.

‘You really are a mess’.

Phantom scrunches her face up a bunch before lifting her hand to her face, completely invisible.

’Holy shit, you weren’t kidding. How did neither of us feel that’.

‘My powers are extremely natural to me, like blinking or breathing to you. It can be harder to not use them than to use them’.

’That’s weird even if it makes sense, I guess it’s like how I don’t notice my suit doing its thing in me anymore’.

Phantom shakes her head but feels a fair bit embarrassed. 

‘Even from the very beginning, it was like that for me. Half the time I was using my powers on accident and usually didn’t even notice’.

Phantom can feel her snickering at him.

’Goddamnit that’s adorable, oh hell’.

‘I like how you go from mocking me, to being embarrassed’.

‘Oh shut it’.

‘I don’t think I will’.

Red mentally yelps as the two phase straight through the bed and floor. Phantom has to latch onto a ceiling light to keep them from crashing into the living room. Phantom silently watches Mr. Gray walk from the living room into the kitchen, before phasing them back into Red’s room. “Well, that was eventful”. 

‘More like nerve-racking’.

‘Eh, nothing much phases me anymore’.

‘You’re awful’.

‘Then you must have awful taste in men’.

‘You’re a child!’.

‘So are you!’.

‘You’re a ghost...’.

‘So what? Why care?’.

Phantom sighs a bit as he sits them down cross-legged on her bed, she doesn’t think anything at him for a bit.

‘We’re not the same, you’re literally possessing me right now’.

‘No one is the same, and you have a nanobot suit in your veins. How is that not just as weird as my powers?’.

‘You, you’ve thought about this before’.

‘Like I said, or thought, I’m not embarrassed by my interest. Ancients, most ghosts, and even a few humans, know how I feel’.

Phantom rubs Red’s neck, “though I’ve been called an insane idiot many times for it. I guess it is kind of absurd and stupid to be interested in someone who’s trying to kill you”.

’Wait, so you’ve been... interested, in me since almost the beginning? Yeah that is pretty stupid, I really was trying to destroy you’.

‘Heh, yeah I know. My self-preservation was pretty well butchered by the time you popped up’.

‘Can’t really say mine’s all that intact either, but this is just so weird’.

‘Red, for as different as we are, we are also very similar. Ancients, our ‘jobs’ are basically the same. And we’re both out to lunch compared to the rest of our kinds’.

‘True, I don’t know if this would be more or less awkward face to face’.

‘You’re the awkward one here, I’ve been owning this shit pretty well publicly for years’.

Phantom can feel her embarrassment as he rolls over to stretch out a bit, blinking at the layer of ice they’re laying on, “well there’s an ice breaker for you”.

’Pft you’re awful, it’s not even broken’.

‘Oh you know better than to tempt me’.

‘Don’t you dare!’.

He snickers. ‘I’m the scary ghost boy! I do what I want!’.

Phantom flicks a corner of the blanket, shattering it off, “HA!”. While Red mentally laughs.

’So, you going to own your shit now too? Or do I need to make more horrible puns for you actually admit you like me’.

’God damn you, how are you so just out there? With everything? And yes I’m still hung up on the ghost thing, but you really don’t care do you?’.

‘Nope, I really don’t. Two humans, two ghosts, a ghost and a human, or something else entirely; I see no real difference. Though, I’ll never get over Boxy getting with the Lunchlady. They're going to be so confused at the baby shower, I fist fought their kid before they even started dating’. 

’Oh my god, that is really ew. I think this kind of shit is why you are so self-exposed. No matter what weird shit you show publicly, there’s something weirder unsaid or did’.

Phantom scratches Red’s head with her hand, “you might just have a point there”. He then flings her hand over the top of the garbage can, clearly seeing the glowing green forming ectoblast. 

‘Well I hope nothing was hidden in there’.

‘Why would I hide stuff in a garbage can? That’s asking for it to be thrown out’.

‘Must you insult me so’.

‘Seriously? What even are you?’.

‘A mess that’s what. A spooky mess’.

‘The spookiest’.

‘A spooky that you likey’.

Phantom puts her hands behind her head and smirks while Red mentally groans. 

‘So...’.

‘Oh my god’.

Red doesn’t get to properly respond as Phantom snaps her head to the side, ghost sense going off. “It’s been all of three hours”, with a groan Phantom flings them up off the bed and sticks her head out the window to look around.

’What even was that? And what are you looking for?’.

‘Ghost, that was my Ghost Sense. Goes off whenever a ghost is near’.

‘Oh my god, you have built-in ghost radar and ghost tracker’.

’So do you?’.

Phantom jumps about a bit, making sure he can make her body float reliably, as Red thinks at him.

’From nanobots, not my own natural body, but point. And you know none of my suit is usable right now, right?’.

Phantom smirks, “yup”, as he vaults them out the window. Flying low to the ground, off to where he can sense what turns out to be a snake ghost. 

‘Please don’t crash me’.

‘Flying might as well be my number one skill, Red’.

‘And your powers are being crazy right now, so your point?’.

Rolling Red’s eyes, “oh please, have a little faith”. As he shoots off an ectoblast at the snake's head, “that’ll give ya something to sink your fangs into!”. Only to snap Red’s head towards Skulker as he shoots a capture net around the snake. 

The two, technically three, float there for a bit while Skulker slowly tilts his head. Until Skulker smirks, tosses his catch over his shoulders, and gives the two of them a thumbs up, “well whelp, that’s not how I’d go about snagging a lady's but a fellow hunter always congratulates another on a successful hunt”. Phantom, snapping back at the retreating ghost, “I asked first, you metal ass”. 

’You really weren’t kidding about that either. Am I seriously the only one who didn’t clue in?’.

Snickering as he flies them back to her place, “well most humans don’t know and ghosts are horrible gossips, but I’m pretty sure you knew; sort of”.

‘That makes no sense’.

‘I’m an enigma remember’.

Flopping down on Red’s bed and crawling under the blankets, muttering into them, “comfy”.

’Glad you approve, not sure how you’ll handle sleeping for the first time in however long’.

‘Like a very scary baby’.

“More like a cute one”.

Phantom raises her eyebrow, “oh is that so?”.

’Alright fine, I like your ghostly ass, okay? And not in the ‘just friends way. The interspecies thing is still a mind trip though’.

Smirking contently into her pillow, “well now I can die happy”.

‘Don’t you dare’.

‘Be happy or die?’.

’You’re awful and we’re a mess’.

‘Well then, I’ll remind the reaper to bless this mess’.

‘You are an affront to god, now let me or us or whatever sleep’.

’Oh you have no idea’. 

‘You still here, Phantom?’.

‘Yeah, you can’t get rid of me quite yet’.

‘I think I’m okay with that’.

‘Same, but I’m still jumping this body-sharing ship when I can’.

‘Good, cause we so need an out of my body talk, you cute ass spook’.

End.