Chapter Text
A soft violet glow made Karkat raise his eyes from his computer and notice his surroundings for the first time in what had presumably been hours. He glanced at his phone just to make sure; yes, late morning had caught him working once again. He couldn't say he had officially messed up his sleep schedule if he didn't plan on sleeping at all, right?
When he turned his attention back to his multiple screen setup, a stupidly bright red "game over" had taken it all up. It was the sixteenth test run—and the third time in a row—he’d failed to beat the game in one of its more accessible modes. He fought the violent urge of destroying something with his bare hands in favor of screeching like a distressed car tire; the deadline to turn over this particular bug log was threateningly close and he couldn’t find it in him to stay focused.
"Fuck me sideways with a chainsaw," he groaned out loud.
Testing games wasn’t precisely his dream job, but his programming skills had proven to be too abhorrent to get into the game industry as a developer. In fact, his moping over how jobless, talentless and basically miserable he was had apparently been so remarkable that Sollux had had the benevolence of putting in a good word for him at the company he worked at, which in turn offered Karkat a semi-regular job as a game tester. It had been a blow to his pride to see his career crash before him, but he was secretly filled with gratitude and, as it turned out—although he had never considered himself much of a gamer—he was pretty decent at finding and recreating bugs.
Or he usually was, anyway.
He rubbed his eyes and ran his fingers through his thick hair and all the way back to his neck, then pressed his face to his cluttered desk and exhaled very slowly. This was getting ridiculous; his life was spiraling out of control at a staggering speed and all for what? That ridiculously handsome hipster douchebag at Starboons who he had been going out of his way to stare at for the past two weeks? He didn't even have a passion for coffee to justify the trip or the void that it had created in his wallet; he just drank it to stay caffeinated through his perpetual state of crunching to meet deadlines.
"This has nothing to do with that insufferable jerkfuck. For fuck’s sake, get a grip, Karkat!" he reminded himself.
He grabbed his phone. Someone had to pay for his crabby mood and the Universe demanded it was Eridan. He was the one who had kick-started his descent to insanity, after all, even if he didn't know.
carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling caligulasAquarium [CA] at 10:06
CG: HEY, ASSHOLE.
CG: ARE YOU AWAKE?
CG: I HOPE YOUR NOTIFICATIONS ARE ON AND MY INSISTENT PINGS DRILL THROUGH YOUR THICK PRINCELY SKULL OR WHATEVER THE FUCK UNTIL YOU'RE *LITERALLY* FORCED TO GET OUT OF YOUR PATHETIC DREAM JUST TO BEG ME TO STOP.
CG: BUT GUESS WHAT? I WON'T BE GIVING YOU THE SATISFACTION, YOU MISERABLE PIECE OF PRICY ROYAL FILTH. YOU'LL IMPLORE ME FOR MERCY WITH TEARS IN YOUR EYES… ALAS, ALL YOU WILL GET IS MY CONTEMPT AND THE CERTAINTY THAT YOUR STUPID FACE IS THE SECOND MOST VOMIT-INDUCING THING TO EVER GRACE THIS BITCH OF A PLANET…
CG: RIGHT AFTER YOUR IDIOTIC CAPE AND SILLY LITTLE BOWLING SHOES. SERIOUSLY, WHO WEARS THAT?
CG: JUST TELL ME THIS, ERIDAN, WHO THE FUCK WEARS CAPES CASUALLY?
CG: MASSIVE RODS LIKE YOU IS WHO.
CG: HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED WHAT US MERE MORTALS THAT HAVE THE MISFORTUNE OF KNOWING YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH ON THE DAILY?
CG: CAN YOU GRASP THE VISCERAL HATRED YOU STIR IN ME WITHOUT EVEN TRYING?
CG: WAIT, I SEE YOU TYPING. TO WHICH I SAY: STOP RIGHT THERE.
CG: AND MOST IMPORTANTLY SCRATCH EVERYTHING I JUST SAID. KNOWING YOU, YOU PROBABLY GET OFF THINKING I HATE YOU ALREADY (THANKS FOR THAT MENTAL IMAGE, BY THE WAY, I FUCKING HATE IT).
CG: SO LET ME BE CRYSTAL CLEAR: THIS IS *NOT* BLACK FLIRTING AND I ASSURE YOU IT WILL NEVER BE. NOT NOW, NOT IN A MILLION SWEEPS AND BASICALLY NOT EVER IN ANY CAPACITY OR ITERATION OF THE WORD.
CA: wwoww kar
CA: wwhat an intense and frankly desperate thing to say to a friend this late in the mornin
CG: I HATE YOU SO MUCH I THINK I MAY HAVE IRONICALLY ENDED UP TROLLING MYSELF JUST NOW.
CG: PLATONICALLY. I HATE YOU *PLATONICALLY*.
CA: im flattered to be in your thoughts i really am but as a friend i feel like i havve to break it to you
CA: i wwas regrettably wwide awwake and your shameless flirtin didnt havve the desired effect a wwooin me im afraid
CG: GOD, SHUT UP. WHY WOULD YOU TURN THIS AROUND TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE *YOU’RE* THE ONE REJECTING *ME*? I’M NOT THE DESPERATE SADFUCK AROUND HERE, REMEMBER?
CA: wwell excuse me but you literally havvent stopped sayin you hate me for twwo minutes straight so im gettin some mixed signals here
CA: youre alwways wwelcome to try a paler approach you knoww since you obvviously lack the required hatred for any sorta blackrom wwith me
CA: wwhich is apparently a recurrin thing in my life anywway
CG: WHAT PART OF I'M NOT FLIRTING WITH YOU DID YOU NOT UNDERSTAND, YOU NUMBFUCK?
CG:(HAVING SAID THAT, YOU ALREADY KNOW I’M HERE TO TALK IF YOU NEED IT).
CA: thanks kar i really appreciate it
CG: YEAH, WHATEVER. WHY THE FUCK AREN'T YOU SLEEPING ANYWAY? DID SOMEONE BREAK YOUR HEART AGAIN? I THOUGHT SLEEPLESS MORNINGS WERE MY THING, NOT YOURS. OR OURS, FOR THAT MATTER.
CA: id rather not get into the deep muddy wwaters that are my plentiful romantic troubles and evverlastin loneliness right noww if thats okay
CG: YEAH, SURE. HANG IN THERE, MAN.
CA: yeah im tryin
CA: to answwer your other question i lost all sense a time cause i wwas vvery invvested in this movvie
CG: OH. WHICH MOVIE?
CA: you probably knoww it its about this highblood that falls in lovve wwith a lowwblood
CG: THAT’S A SOLID REFERENCE, IT’S NOT LIKE THERE ARE A TRILLION MOVIES WITH THAT SAME EXACT ARGUMENT.
CG: I’M GONNA NEED YOU TO BE A LITTLE MORE SPECIFIC THAN THAT, GENIUS.
CA: ehhhh
CA: one of the main characters is a wwhore
CG: ERIDAN.
CA: thats not my judgement kar
CA: shes literally a hooker
CA: as in she shags for a livvin
CG: MY MISTAKE THEN.
CG: HOLD UP. IS THE OTHER CHARACTER... PERHAPS... A STONE COLD BUSINESSMAN WHO’S TERRIBLE AT QUADRANTS?
CA: hes a businessman alright but hes not terrible hes like
CA: suavve
CG: OF COURSE YOU’D THINK THAT.
CA: wwhy do i feel like this is a dig at me
CG: BECAUSE IT IS, STUPID. IF I GUESSED THE MOVIE RIGHT, HE FUCKING SUCKS.
CA: maybe wwere not evven talkin about the same thing
CG: NO, I’M PRETTY SURE WE ARE AT THIS POINT.
CA: howw are you so sure
CG: ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO MAKE ME TYPE THE TITLE?
CA: if you lovved yourself evven a little bit you could sorta copy and paste it instead
CA: genius
CG: HERE GOES NOTHING:
CG: "In Which Indigoblood Corporansacker And Notable Casanova Edward Lewis (Played By Troll Richard Gere) Encounters Illicit Bronzeblood Pleasure And Genetic Material Provider Vivian (Played By Troll Julia Roberts And Supported By Troll Laura Giacomo, who plays Her Rustblood Associate And Moirail) And Pays Her To Drive A Manual Gear Selecting Four Wheeled Device He Has Borrowed From His Trusty Intimidatvocate (Played By Troll Jason Alexander) To Luxury Respitecluster, Where He Hires Her Not Only For Her Expected Services (Which He Does), But Also To Play Pretend Matesprit For A Week To Attain Pail Insurance After Flushed Rupture; Following A Lot Of Shenanigans (Among which: A Dramatic Makeover, Several Sensual Scenes, A No Kiss On The Lips Rule, Grubhood Dreams Of Fairytale Knights On White Steeds Saving Princesses, A Hoofbeast Race, Multiple Social Standing Difference Conflicts, An Almost Love Confession, A Serious Reconsideration Of Careers On Both Leads’ Sides, A Failed Business Deal In Favor Of Character Growth And An Inappropriate Pitch Solicitation Which Turns to Ashen Vacillation Upon Further Consideration And Finally Results In A Physical Altercation That Leads To A 4.62 Sweep Relationship Termination), A Now Highly Lovestruck And Morally Reformed Highblood Asks His Lowblood Love Interest To Stay With Him For One Last Night (Not Because He’s Paying, But Because She Wants To) To Which She Refuses; She Then Leaves With The Intention Of Venturing Into Newer Territories And Achieving A Higher Level Of Studies (By Leaving Supportive Moirail Behind); Ultimately The Male Lead Re-thinks His Life Choices While Heading To The Airport And Instead Detours To His Partner’s Subgrub Hive With A Beautiful Blossom Vessel In Hand To Put A Lid To The Previously Mentioned Fairytale Metaphor, Overcoming The Blood Obstacle And His Fear Of Heights Through The Raw Power Of Love In The Process. Relevant Counters Include: 10 Kisses On The Lips, Possibly More Than 4 Buckets Filled Off Camera, 44 Fancy Cutlery Tines And At Least 10 Lavish Outfits."
CA: hm
CA: yeah thats the one
CA: it wwas so good
CA: the music wwas so catchy and there wwere some stellar getups like that wwhite button dowwn dress topped off wwith mid length glovves and a wwide brimmed sun hat
CA: the black lace cocktail dress on the other hand wwas hideous and i havve a lotta things to say on the matter
CG: WAIT, YOU LIKED IT?
CA: no im tellin you it wwas a poor fashion choice
CG: I MEAN THE MOVIE, DID YOU LIKE *LIKE* IT?
CA: sure i did
CA: you might not believve this kar but the class quandary struck a chord wwith me and i kept thinkin that it must havve been so hard for that bronzeblood to be constantly humiliated for somethin she cant change
CA: she deservved to be treated like the princess she is
CA: an irritatingly ill mannered princess but a princess still
CG: ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW? I CAN'T TELL IF YOU'RE BEING SERIOUS.
CA: the pitch to ashen vvacillation wwith that vvile intimidatvvocate had me on the edge a my seat too and the moirail farewwell scene made me tear up cause
CA: wwell cause im wweak to that for reasons that youre already privvy to
CA: wwait wwhy wwouldnt i be serious
CG: HJSKADSJLFJSAEWFEFDEW
CA: kar
CA: kar wwhy are you keyboard smashin at me
CG: I’M LOSING MY SHIT SO HARD RIGHT NOW THAT I COULD PUT UP A LOST GRUB ANNOUNCEMENT WHERE THE GRUB IN QUESTION IS REPLACED BY MY SHIT. I’VE NEVER FOUND A GOOD OCCASION TO RECOMMEND MOVIES TO YOU, MOSTLY BECAUSE YOU’VE NEVER SHOWN ANY INTEREST IN ROMCOMS BEFORE; BUT *THIS* MOVIE IN PARTICULAR? IT’S ONE OF MY ALL-TIME FAVORITES.
CA: is it
CG: NOT TO GET SAPPY ON YOU, BUT I RELATE A LOT TO VIVIAN’S BLOOD STRUGGLE AND KNOWING YOU’RE NOT ONLY EMPHATIC WITH HER SITUATION BUT ACTUALLY ALSO FEEL A CONNECTION WITH HER? I’M HAVING A MOMENT HERE. AN "I MAY OR MAY NOT BE GETTING TEARY EYED RIGHT NOW" MOMENT, TO BE MORE SPECIFIC.
CA: awwwwwwww
CA: i dont knoww wwhat to say to that kar
CA: am i really makin you THAT emotional
CA: just to check its me wwhos makin you emotional and not the lack of sleep right
CG: WE’RE BONDING OVER A SHARED INTEREST FOR THE FIRST TIME IN SWEEPS, PLEASE DON’T MAKE ME REGRET THIS.
CA: i wwont
CA: cross my blood pusher its just
CA: youvve nevver said anyfin like this to me
CA: you barely refer to me as a friend
CG: COME ON, WE TALKED ABOUT FISH PUNS; YOU DON’T NEED THEM.
CA: wwwwww
CG: OF THE TOPIC AT HAND: ME NOT SAYING WE’RE FRIENDS 24/7 DOESN’T MAKE OUR FRIENDSHIP ANY LESS REAL? EVER HEARD OF OBJECT PERMANENCE, DUMBASS?
CA: at the risk a soundin like a fuckin idiot
CA: you consider me a friend
CG: YEAH?
CA: wwoww
CA: i
CG: ALRIGHT. FUCK OFF ALREADY, ALL THIS SENTIMENTALISM IS MAKING ME SICK. ESPECIALLY SINCE MY INTENTION WAS TO GIVE YOU AN EARFUL, NOT A FREE DOSE OF VALIDATION. I MEAN, YOU’RE FUCKING WELCOME FOR THAT, I GUESS. MY GENEROSITY TRULY IS UNMATCHED.
CA: oh yeah wwhy wwere you contactin me in the first place
CG: OKAY SO, REMEMBER THE OTHER DAY WHEN YOU DRAGGED ME OUT OF MY HIVE AND RIGHT INTO A STARBOONS BY BRUTE FORCE BECAUSE "if youre gonna ovverwwork yourshell you might as wwell do it in a less depressing envvironment"?
CA: you dunce it doesnt make sense to use my quirk if youre paraphrasin wwhat i said instead a directly quotin me
CA: and im pretty sure i NEVVER said anythin about shells
CA: but i do remember
CG: THE BLONDE BARISTA, DO YOU REMEMBER HIM TOO?
CA: the one wwith the shades
CG: YES, THE ONE WITH THE SHADES.
CA: wwhat about him
CG: HE IS SO PERFORMATIVELY PRETENTIOUS THAT I CAN'T HELP BUT FEEL INTRIGUED.
CA: wwhat does that mean
CG: HE'S SO… DOUCHEY HE MUST BE FAKING IT. HE HAS TO BE. SEE; YOU'RE A POSER BECAUSE YOU BELIEVE IN WHAT YOU'RE POSING AS, RIGHT? OR RATHER, BECAUSE YOU *WANT* TO BECOME THE POSE. A CLASSIC CASE OF "CLOTHES MAKE THE MAN". WITH HIM IT'S LIKE HE'S CONSTANTLY PLAYING A PARODY OF A COOL KID AS A FUCKED UP WAY TO ACHIEVE A LEGITIMATE COOLNESS STATUS. SOMETHING DOESN’T ADD UP AND IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
CA: uh ill just ignore you insultin me outta no fuckin wwhere but as a matter a fact no i dont knoww wwhat youre tryin to get at
CG: AT FIRST I THOUGHT HE'S JUST YOUR AVERAGE TRY-HARD GUY, BUT UPON FURTHER CONSIDERATION I THINK HE'S… NOT THAT. HE ACTUALLY PUTS EFFORT INTO BEING THE LAMEST DOUCHEBAG AT THE STORE.
CA: kar im actually lost howw does any of that havve anythin to do wwith me
CG: IT HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH YOU, ASSWAD. IF YOU HADN'T FORCIBLY TAKEN ME THERE I WOULDN'T HAVE SEEN HIM. AND IF I HADN'T SEEN HIM, HE WOULDN'T HAVE PIQUED MY CURIOSITY. AND IF HE HADN'T PIQUED MY CURIOSITY, I WOULDN'T BE SPENDING A CENT ON THAT GODAMN OVERPRICED COFFEE SHOP AND I WOULD BE DOING MY JOB EFFICIENTLY INSTEAD OF WASTING TWO WEEKS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE FUCK'S UP WITH THAT GUY.
CA: wwhat youvve been goin to starboons on your owwn evver since i took you there
CA: ohhhh
CA: i see wwhere this is goin
CA: youre gettin distracted at wwork because you keep thinkin about him huh
CG: YEAH, WISE GUY. GREAT READING COMPREHENSION SKILLS.
CA: wwhich one is it flushed or pitch
CG: EXCUSE ME, WHAT?
CA: your crush
CG: NO.
CA: wwhat do you mean no
CG: WE'RE NOT HAVING THIS CONVERSATION, IT'S JUST NOT HAPPENING.
CA: karkat
CG: WHY ARE YOU SAYING MY NAME? IT'S MAKING ME VERY UNCOMFORTABLE.
CA: karkat youre tellin me youvve been consistently sacrificin your mornins for twwo wweeks just because that guy is sooo lame
CG: THAT'S WHAT I'M TELLING YOU, YES.
CA: and you genuinely believve youre absolutely not crushin on him
CG: THAT’S RIGHT. I GENUINELY BELIEVE I’M ABSOLUTELY NOT CRUSHING ON HIM.
CA: youre bee essin me and wwe both knoww it
CG: I'M NOT. HE'S INTRIGUING, THAT DOESN’T MEAN I'M ABOUT TO JUMP INTO HIS ARMS.
CA: for howw perceptivve you usually are wwith romantic stuff you sure are bein dense about it
CA: evven i can tell howw stupid you sound tryin to deny it
CG: YOU THINK THAT EVERYONE'S COMING ONTO YOU BECAUSE YOU INDISCRIMINATELY COME ONTO EVERYONE, BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN WE'RE ALL LIKE YOU. IF CLUELESS WAS A NAME I BET MY ASS IT'D BE YOURS.
CA: wwell youre not wwide of the mark about that but no matter howw you look at it its obvvious that youre obsessin ovver that barista
CA: if you end up gettin it on be sure to thank me you ungrateful bastard
CG: YOU'RE WRONG ABOUT VIRTUALLY EVERYTHING THAT COMES OUT OF YOUR WINDPIPE ALL THE TIME AND I HATE YOU.
CA: sure you do
CG: OH, WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT? IT'S TIME FOR ME TO FUCK OFF. SMELL YOU LATER.
CA: are you heading out somewwhere
CG: UH, YES? BUT IT DOESN’T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH HIM, I JUST NEED TO GRAB SOME COFFEE TO GET THROUGH THIS FUCKING GAME THAT'S DRIVING ME UP THE WALL.
CG: STOP BEING SO NOSY, WILL YOU?
CA: you texted me of your owwn vvolition havve you forgotten
CG: SCREAMING AT YOU WAS SUPPOSED TO RELIEVE MY STRESS, BUT YOU MANAGED TO RUIN THAT TOO, ASSWIPE. I ASSURE YOU I'LL UNLEASH MY FURY ON YOU FOR REAL NEXT TIME YOU TRY TO SCHOOL ME ON ROMANCE. WHICH, BY THE WAY, YOU KNOW SHIT FUCK ABOUT.
CG: INCIDENTALLY SHIT FUCK IS WHERE IT'S AT. MY ABILITY TO CARE.
CG: YOU SHOULD BE SLEEPING, SO GO DO THAT.
CA: fine havve it your wway
CA: dont make a fool of yourself and keep me updated
CG: UPDATED ON WHAT? ARE YOU EVEN READING ME? I'M ONLY GOING TO GET COFFEE. NOTHING MORE, NOTHING LESS. I'M NOT LOSING SLEEP OVER AN IDIOT WHO WEARS MIRROR SHADES INDOORS. I ACTUALLY HAVE STANDARDS, UNLIKE A CERTAIN SOMEONE.
CA: aww look howw smitten you are already
CA: its almost endearin
CA: havve you talked to him
CA: tell me more next time
CG: ERIDAN, MY FINGER IS HOVERING OVER THE BLOCK BUTTON AS WE SPEAK, IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? BECAUSE IT SURE SEEMS YOU'RE GUNNING FOR THAT RIGHT NOW.
CA: hm wwhatevver
CA: havve fun
CG: WILL DO.
carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling caligulasAquarium [CA] at 10:42
carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling caligulasAquarium [CA] at 10:42
CG: IF THAT HAD SOME KIND OF IMPLICATION TO IT: FUCK YOU.
carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling caligulasAquarium [CA] at 10:43
After his rollercoaster of an exchange with Eridan, Karkat proceeded to suppress a growing identity crisis by pumping it up at his modest home gym for ten minutes. Everyone was surprised to discover that he was a bit of a workout addict upon meeting him, but the truth was that he was so pent-up with his daily life and job that he truly needed that release. The way he saw it, the energy he didn’t use up sitting all day had to go somewhere.
He hit the shower, threw on a pair of washed out jeans and a classic Steve Jobs turtleneck—both of which constituted approximately 90% of his wardrobe—and walked out the door. He wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but he was straining at the leash to see the coffee shop boy he genuinely believed he absolutely wasn’t crushing on.
First thing he saw when he walked into Starboons was a middle aged human lady throwing a fit. He didn’t know what the offense had been, but judging by the expressions of every other customer, she was clearly blowing things out of proportion.
"You—What’s your name, kid?" she was telling an unphased barista, who of course happened to be the barista.
"Dave," he answered composedly as he subtly rearranged his name tag. So his name was Dave, somehow Karkat hadn’t been able to catch that in any of his previous visits.
"David. I know mistakes happen, but you have to understand I’m not only paying for the coffee here... Am I wrong to assume the price includes the service?"
"No, ma’am."
"Am I wrong to make a complaint if you messed up my order?" she continued, her perfectly manicured nails tapping the counter rhythmically for dramatic effect.
"No, ma’am," he repeated.
"Then would it hurt you to look a little more willing to serve me? I can excuse the mishap, but I’m getting the feeling you just don’t want to be here."
"Nothing further from the truth," he said in a monotonous tone that didn't precisely help his case. "As I said, I’m very sorry and I’ll gladly remake your coffee or refund you, if you'd like. We also have customer complaints at your disposal if you're not satisfied with the attention you're receiving," he recited like he knew the rowdy customer service protocol by heart, which he most likely did.
"Of course I'm not satisfied! Are you deaf? That's what I've been saying from the start! The attention here is absolutely terrible. What's that face supposed to be? If you're in the wrong you should at least have a well disposed smile to make up for it, don't you think?"
"This is my face, ma'am. Can't do anything about it. My best offer at this point is either a remake or a refund."
"I don't want a refund, I want to speak to the manager," she threatened.
"Sure, let me call him," Dave shrugged.
"—Wait. I don't actually have time for this, just remake it. Make sure it's soy milk this time, will you?" she sighed. "And don't overdo it with the ice, I don't like the texture."
"Soy milk, not too icy. Right up."
Dave began preparing another Iced Caramel Macchiato (not that Karkat knew what it was called) under the woman's unforgiving scrutiny. He managed not to look pressured in the slightest, but then again, he had a dispassionate aura to him that made it hard to guess what was going through his mind. That being said, he looked like he genuinely enjoyed the coffee making part of his job; he still wasn't smiling as he worked, but the corners of his mouth had relaxed into a softer line. His hands moved around the counter and across the coffee maker comfortably: First two pumps of vanilla syrup, then a scoop of ice, some soy milk, one shot of freshly made espresso and a generous caramel drizzle to top it off. The result was a beautifully crafted layered drink. Karkat was no expert, but he could tell the attention and care he had put into it.
When he turned to grab a plastic lid and hand the order over, he noticed Karkat and nodded at him to let him know that he'd be with him shortly.
"Find something?" he asked the problematic customer as she inspected the cup, blatantly looking for any fault in her drink that could justify her entitlement (and fortunately not finding any).
"Hmph. I was just making sure."
"Of course you were. If that's all… have a good one," he politely waved her off. She didn't even bother answering before striding out of the establishment like everyone else was lucky to be breathing the same air as her. Dave and Karkat exchanged a brief knowing look. "G’morning, what can I get you?"
"I was actually wondering if I could get what she got?" Karkat asked and—by the way Dave winced—he knew he’d been too loud.
"An Iced Caramel Macchiato…?" he raised an eyebrow.
"Well, if that’s what it’s called… You know, since you already made it."
"Oh, you literally want hers. Bro, I appreciate the sentiment, but we can’t do that." Of course he’d default to bro talk, Karkat thought.
"Oh."
"Yeah. Besides, isn’t that a bit too sweet for you?"
"How the fuck do you know what’s sweet for me?" Karkat spat out of nervousness. "I mean, how do you know that? " he tried to soft-pedal his aggressiveness, but if anything it came out more aggravating. There was a shocked silence between both parties.
"Whoa, are you angry? I figured—You usually order Americanos with no sugar, right? So I—Uh. I didn’t mean to assume, I guess. Sorry if I offended you?" Dave’s face was still unreadable, but his tone gave away just how flustered he was. Karkat wanted to assure him he wasn’t angry at all, instead he said:
"Shit—You remember me?" He was swooning so hard over this revelation that he tried leaning on the counter to calm himself down, but he miscalculated the distance and plummeted to the ground instead. "Fu—ck!"
"—Wh—?"
If they had been in a romantic comedy, this would have been a good "record scratch, freeze frame" moment, but since they weren't, the troll unceremoniously landed on his ass in as humiliating a way as one might conceive. Time might not have stopped, but Eridan’s words of wisdom did echo in his mind: "Don’t make a fool of yourself". Well, not only had he done just that, but he had also graduated top of his class, for good measure. He could feel everyone’s eyes on him, but Dave poking his pretty head out to check on him was all it took for him to lose his last shred of dignity. Why hadn’t anyone laughed? He should be relieved, but instead he found himself thinking his performance was so poor in all fields that he couldn’t even get a miserable chuckle out of people when accidentally playing a classic funny stunt.
"—Dude, are you okay?"
"Please, don’t ask," Karkat murmured as he attempted to get back on his feet, both figuratively and physically speaking. "I was not angry, by the way. I didn’t even mean to shout, but my volume o’meter is apparently as busted as my spatial perception. Believe me, I know my voice is annoying as fuck, I have to listen to it every time I speak." Confessing he hated himself in their first conversation was admittedly another power move of his, but when Dave controlledly snickered at him… he was almost grateful for being a complete idiot. Or he would have been if he wasn't also tragically dense and currently in denial about his crush. Allegedly.
"Pffft, that was your voice? No offense, my resting bitch face syndrome is right there with you, buddy."
"Yeah, can’t do anything about your face," Karkat shrugged. "You did a pretty good job with that if you ask me—Fuck, not your face. I mean, your face is fine, but I was talking about your handling of the situation earlier."
"I really thought you were ‘bout to rate the crap out of my face for a hot second there, like: Dog, your mug is a solid seven out of ten. Got a few things you could work on, though."
"Haha… Uh, no. You probably won’t believe this, but I’m usually not this stupid; it’s the lack of sleep." Why was he trying so hard to justify himself?
"Man, don’t sweat it. Come to think of it, aren’t trolls nocturnal? We don’t get many of you in the mornings."
"Oh. So that’s why you remember me."
"Well, there's also the fact that you're fucking shredded and generally hot as hell, but yeah, that too," Dave contemplated. "Fuck, did I say that out loud? Don't tell me I actually said that out loud."
Karkat couldn't even answer, so he gawked at the blond like a dumbass.
"—I totally did. Way to go, Dave," he brought a hand to his face to hide what the shades couldn’t. "Look—I promise I’m not a creep. I'm just—not very good at filtering the shit that comes out of my mouth. Like, it’s an actual thing with me, so if you could ignore me, that'd be dope. That's right, just fucking ignore me. I think we can all agree it's a miracle that I didn't fly off the handle sooner, but my grip on that fucker can't be as tight as duck's ass all the time, can it? What I'm saying is: a dude's gotta sit back and loosen up his metaphorical bird asshole once in a while and just fucking watch that handle crash and burn in real time. Like I’m doing right now," he finished. Karkat continued to say nothing, mostly because he was very much still in shock. "So. Your coffee—Is it too late to ask how you want your coffee—?"
"—What? "
"Coffee?" Dave choked in a weird pitch.
"Oh, I'll have the usual," Karkat finally recovered.
"A Venti Americano to go? Or do you want to stick with the… Ahem, Macchiato?"
"First one’s good. Thanks."
"Your name?"
"Uh, Karkat."
"Karkat. Cool," he said as he grabbed a sharpie.
"Cool."
Dave turned his back to Karkat as he prepared his order so that they could both freak out over their respective fuck-ups in peace and the latter took the opportunity to give the human the glad eye. He was on the skinnier side and his face was powdered with little freckles that scattered about his arms, hands and neck. His slight gradient undercut seamlessly bridged between his milky blond hair and his pale peachy skin and his sideburns might as well have been laser cut because he didn’t have a single hair out of place. Both of his ears were pierced and—now that he took a good look at them—remarkably flushed. Karkat wondered if that had anything to do with him, but more importantly: whether he was exhibiting a red to match.
"Sorry, this bad boy ran out of coffee. Be right back," Dave excused himself and disappeared into the storeroom for a full two minutes.
When he came back to finish his business, his ears were still red. An Americano was seemingly a pretty straightforward drink: four espresso shots with hot water. That was it; an ordinary uncomplicated, black coffee. Dave made it in the twinkling of an eye.
"Here it is at last. Be careful, it’s hot."
"Yeah, thanks." Karkat reached for the cup and their hands met only in passing, but it was enough to send his heart thumping. He paid and bobbed his head awkwardly, not knowing how to give their interaction closure.
"Uh. See you tomorrow?" Dave casually leaned back. He actually looked gorgeous in his stupid Starboons apron and his stupid black skinny jeans and stupider three quarters raglan tee. The bastard.
"Gotta get my daily caffeine dose somewhere," he brushed him off, like any coffee shop or barista would do as long as he got his coffee.
"Haha, sure. Have a nice day."
Karkat was very close to declaring himself lost and hopeless.
caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 21:12
CA: kar did you make it out alivve
CG: GREAT, JUST THE MOTHERFUCKER I WANTED TO TALK TO.
CA: really
CG: NO.
CA: guessed as much
CA: so
CG: I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE GONNA ASK, SO I’LL SAVE YOU THE TROUBLE. HERE’S THE UPDATE YOU WERE DYING TO GET: I PULLED OUT ALL THE STOPS TO LOOK LIKE A COMPLETE NOOKSUCKER IN FRONT OF EVERYONE AT STARBOONS AND NOW I CAN’T SHOW MY FACE THERE ANYMORE. THE FUCKING END.
CA: wwhy wwhat happened
CG: YOU BETTER NOT LAUGH AT ME OR I’LL GOUGE YOUR EYES OUT. PROMISE?
CA: excuse me but wwho do you think youre threatenin wwith vviolence you savvage i could snap your neck in twwo wwith one hand if i wwanted
CA: im not so stirred that id promise shit under these terms
CG: THEN I’M NOT TELLING.
CA: then im not listenin
CG: GOD, YOU’RE SO FUCKING CHILDISH. YOU KNOW MY THREATS ARE EMPTY ANYWAY.
CA: youre one to TALK
CA: but so are mine
CG: OKAY. FINE. I’LL TELL YOU, BUT ONLY BECAUSE I NEED TO GET IT OUT OF MY SYSTEM. PULL UP A CHAIR, MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE. WANT SOMETHING TO DRINK?
CA: stop wwith the theatrics and get on wwith it stupid i dont havve all night im busy wwith a campaign you see
CG: BEING AN INSTAGRUB INFLUENCER IS NOT A REAL JOB, YOU POSH GOOD-FOR-NOTHING CLOD.
CA: you say that but my 60k and steady income beg to differ howw much do you make again
CG: OUCH. RIGHT WHERE IT HURTS, BUT I WALKED INTO THAT ONE.
CG: DO YOU WANT TO HEAR WHAT HAPPENED OR NOT?
CA: aye
CG: LONG STORY SHORT, I TRIED BEING NICE TO THE BARISTA BECAUSE A FUCKING SNOB WAS CAUSING A RUMPUS AND I DON’T KNOW HOW, BUT I ENDED UP SCREAMING AT HIM AND SITTING ON MY ASS. ON THE FLOOR. AS IN, I FELL DOWN.
CA: wwhat do you mean you fell down you tripped or somethin
CG: NO, I DIDN’T TRIP, I JUST FELL.
CA: you just randomly fell
CG: YEAH, ON MY ASS. WANT ME TO PROSIFY IT FOR YOU?
CA: are you hurt
CG: SEE, NOW THIS IS JUST ANNOYING. WHY AREN’T YOU MAKING FUN OF ME *EITHER*? I’M TELLING YOU I, A GROWN ASS ADULT, TOOK AN ASS DIVE IN PUBLIC. I DIDN’T TRIP, THE FLOOR WASN’T WET, NO ONE PUSHED ME, I WASN’T DIZZY. NONE OF THAT, NO, I OUTRIGHT JUST LEANED ON A COUNTER. ONLY THERE WAS NO COUNTER, BUT PLENTY OF GROUND.
CG: WHICH GOT CLOSELY ACQUAINTED WITH MY HINDQUARTERS. THAT’S SUPPOSED TO BE HILARIOUS.
CA: you asked me not to laugh so i didnt and noww youre angry that i didnt wwhats up ww that
CG: YOUR BULGE IS WHAT.
CA: such eloquence you really havve a wway wwith wwords
CG: I GET THAT A LOT.
CG: SO YOU DIDN’T LAUGH.
CA: no
CG: NOT EVEN A LITTLE.
CA: not really no
CG: WHAT ABOUT A MILDLY AMUSED SNIGGER?
CA: if that helps you cope sure i sniggered out loud readin about your misfortune like the amazin friend i am
CG: THANKS.
CA: dont you havve anythin more juicy for me
CG: OH YEAH, ACTUALLY. SINCE YOU’RE SO INVESTED IN THIS MADE UP SCENARIO IN YOUR THINK PAN WHERE I’M LIVING A REAL LIFE COFFEE SHOP AU. WE MADE SMALL TALK TODAY. HIS NAME IS DAVE.
CA: first-name basis so soon wwhoa
CA: did you get his number or his socials
CG: MAYBE YOU MISSED THE "SMALL TALK" PART OF WHAT I JUST SAID.
CG: I JUST *KNOW* YOU’RE WIGGLING YOUR EYEBROWS RIGHT NOW.
CA: wwrong my eyebrowws are perfectly still
CA: wwhat did you twwo talk about
CG: YOU KNOW.
CG: NOTHING IN PARTICULAR.
CG: WELL, THAT WOULD TECHNICALLY BE A LIE. AS I SAID, AN ENTITLED WOMAN WAS GIVING HIM A HARD TIME BECAUSE SOMETHING WAS OFF IN HER ORDER (WE’RE TALKING OLYMPIC LEVEL RUMPUS HERE, SHE THREATENED TO SPEAK TO THE MANAGER AND EVERYTHING, BUT IT WAS ALL A BLUFF). ANYWAY, I FELT BAD SO I ORDERED THE SAME AS HER, BUT HE COULDN’T GIVE IT TO ME AND, AS IT TURNS OUT, HE REMEMBERED HOW I LIKE MY COFFEE? THAT WAS WHEN I SCREAMED IN HIS FACE AND FELL OVER, I’M NOT GOING INTO ANY MORE DETAIL THAN THAT. MOSTLY BECAUSE I WANTED TO DIE SO HARD I GAVE MYSELF AMNESIA. NOW HE PROBABLY THINKS I’M A WEIRDO THAT SHITS HIS PANTS IN PERFECTLY NORMAL SOCIAL INTERACTIONS.
CG: DISCLAIMER: I DIDN’T *ACTUALLY* SHIT MY PANTS. GOOD FUCKING GRIEF.
CA: oh my god kar
CG: I KNOW.
CG: HE’S NOT BETTER OFF THAN ME, IN ANY CASE. HE APPARENTLY HAS A SERIOUS CASE OF VERBIAGE AND YOU MIGHT THINK THAT’S SAYING SOMETHING, COMING FROM ME. BUT IT’S TRUE, HE HAS NO FILTER WHATSOEVER. HE JUST VOMITS WORDS.
CG: HE SAID I’M HOT.
CA: he said WWHAT
CG: LIKE I SAID, HE HAS NO FILTER, HE DIDN’T EVEN REALIZE HE WAS SAYING IT OUT LOUD.
CA: hey thats good newws great newws evven
CA: you humiliated yourself and he still fancies you
CA: hes fuckin stupid and youre fuckin stupid
CA: wwhats twwo plus twwo
CG: LET ME PULL OUT MY CALCULATOR REAL QUICK.
CG: AH, IT SEEMS TO BE FUCK YOU.
CA: maybe theres hope for you yet maybe you wwont die alone
CG: SOMEHOW THAT’S DOING THE POLAR OPPOSITE OF BRINGING ME COMFORT. YOU'RE DEPRESSING, MAN.
CG: AND SINCE YOU KEEP FORGETTING THIS TINY DETAIL: I’M STILL *NOT* CRUSHING ON HIM. MY INTEREST IS MERELY SOCIOLOGICAL.
CA: you swwoon you sigh wwhy deny it
CG: I’M NOT EVEN DENYING IT, I JUST DON’T THINK I’M *THAT* FAR-GONE IS ALL.
CA: yet not that far-gone YET
CA: kar this is your chance to livve out one of your romantic comedy fantasies you havve to fight tooth and nail for it
CA: you dont knoww if or wwhen hell get bored
CA: need i remind you that humans only havve one type a quadrant someone could snatch him from you right in front of your eyes
CG: WHY DO I FEEL LIKE YOU’RE PUSHING YOUR INSECURITIES ONTO ME?
CA: because i dont wwant you makin the same mistakes i did
CG: OH SHIT, I DIDN’T REALIZE WE WERE GETTING OURSELVES INTO A FEELINGS JAM. IS THAT WHAT’S HAPPENING? BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE THE DUMBSHIT THAT DIDN’T QUITE PICK UP ON THE DRESS CODE AND TURNS UP AT THE PARTY WITH A TRACKSUIT AND FLIP FLOPS WITH SOCKS.
CA: karkat
CG: THERE YOU GO SAYING MY NAME. I GET IT, IT’S THAT SERIOUS. I’LL SHUT UP NOW.
CA: i knoww you havve a lot more redeemin qualities than me but you saww howw i fucked up all my relationships because im a stuck up taxin cunnin asshole no one can stand
CG: THAT’S NOT NECESSARILY TRUE.
CA: let me finish
CA: nevver not evven once in my romantic or platonic life wwas i honest about my intentions or feelins
CA: i wwas too cowwardly to tell fef i wwanted somethin more and by the time i told myself i could do it she didnt wwant me in any quadrant
CA: i really wwas out there braggin about howw wwe wwere destined to be together wwhile she wwas mullin ovver howw to break up wwith me
CA: not that i can precisely complain about it because i wwas selfishly using my moiraillegiance wwith her as a steppin stone
CA: my kismesissitude wwith vvris was nothin short of bitter either she saww me as a disposable tool from the start and i wwas so afraid of rejection that i wwent around beggin anyone to auspistice for us
CA: it didnt cross my mind to ask her if that wwould solvve anythin betwween us i wwas convvinced it wwould as a matter a fact
CA: and i wwas so fuckin jealous and defeated about evverythin that i pressured sol and put kan against the ropes to the point i lost any chance of being their friend let alone anythin remotely pitch or red or ashen
CA: and noww after all this time i finally see myself for wwhat i wwas
CA: a dishonest opportunist prick
CA: i didnt say wwhat mattered wwhen it mattered most and i regret it evvery single day
CA: so if theres the slightest possibility of this being flushed you should hold onto it for dear life so that you wwont end up havvin any regrets
CA: shit i cant evven see the screen anymore
CG: ERIDAN?
CG: ARE YOU CRYING?
CA: i dindt mean t talk about this i dont knoww wwhat happened
CA: i thnk
CA: i think i havve hit rock bottom
CA: im so pathetic
CG: FUCK, MAN, YOU’RE NOT. YOU’RE NOT PATHETIC.
CG: IF YOU WERE FEELING LIKE THIS YOU SHOULD HAVE REACHED OUT SOONER.
CA: im too clingy as it is
CG: SO WHAT IF YOU ARE. WHAT ARE FRIENDS IF NOT PEOPLE THAT PUT UP WITH EACH OTHER’S BULLSHIT? I SHOULD HAVE PRESSED ON THE MATTER WHEN YOU SAID YOU DIDN’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT YOUR ROMANTIC TROUBLES EARLIER. IN HINDSIGHT, THE WHOLE "I'M NOT FLIRTING WITH YOU, YOU DESPERATE FUCK" THING MIGHT HAVE BEEN INSENSITIVE ON MY PART. I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT I DIDN'T ACTUALLY MEAN ANYTHING BY THAT. NOTHING TRULY HURTFUL, AT LEAST.
CA: that wwas you messin ww me like wwe alwways do right you dont need to explain yourself
CA: its not like youre wwrong about me bein a desperate fuck
CG: WHAT’S GOING ON WITH YOU, ERIDAN? SERIOUSLY, YOU CAN TELL ME.
CA: i dunno its humiliatin to admit but
CA: the loneliness must be gettin to my head
CA: and i dont havve the confidence to do anythin about it anymore
CG: IS THIS ABOUT SOMEONE IN PARTICULAR?
CA: wwhen is it not
CG: WHY ARE YOU BEING SO VAGUE? IS THAT AN INVITATION FOR ME TO GUESS OR TO KINDLY FUCK OFF? BECAUSE YOU CAN BE DIRECT ABOUT EITHER.
CA: guess
CG: IS THIS ABOUT FEFERI OR SOLLUX? PLEASE, DON’T ANSWER YES.
CA: i nevver stopped missin her
CG: BUT IT’S ABOUT HIM.
CA: yeah
CG: I THOUGHT YOU TRYING TO GET HER TO AUSPISTICE YOU GUYS WAS JUST, HOW DO I PUT THIS, YOU TRYING TO BREAK OFF WHAT THEY HAD AND FIND A WAY BACK INTO HER LIFE. WASN’T IT?
CA: it wwasnt as much of a ruse as it wwas me genuinely tryin to figure out my feelins
CA: i wwont lie i wwas foamin at the mouth wwhen she left me to havve wwhat i wwanted wwith her wwith someone else and it stung pretty bad that on top of it all it wwas a bipolar mustardblood wwith a lisp
CA: god knowws ivve changed my vviewws evver since about castes i mean
CA: anywway i hated him obvviously
CA: he stole evverythin that wwas dear to me and looked stupidly smug about it howw could i not hate him
CG: *THAT* WAY?
CA: i guess
CA: but heres the twwist wwhen i saww them flirtin i didnt knoww wwho to be jealous of
CG: OH FUCKKKK. THAT CHANGES EVERYTHING. YOU WERE VACILLATING WITH HIM, BUT STILL FELT SOMETHING OF THE REDDER KIND FOR HER? I THOUGHT, IF ANYTHING, YOU'D BE BLACK FOR HIM.
CA: i nevver figured it out
CA: wwhat i wwanted from them
CG: WHAT ABOUT NOW?
CA: i dont really knoww
CA: ivve already accepted fef and i arent gettin back together
CA: she forgavve me and that should be enough
CA: its more than wwhat i deservve thats for sure
CG: SO, FEFERI IS OUT OF THE EQUATION. WHAT INCLINATIONS DO YOU HAVE TOWARDS SOLLUX?
CA: black leanin but wwhat does it matter
CA: he hates me beyond redrom and beloww blackrom all in all i dont think he likes me vvery much
CA: no its wworse than that he doesnt givve a shit about me
CA: i jst dont make a difference in his or anyones life kar do i
CG: SHIT. ARE YOU STILL CRYING?
CA: sorry
CG: WHAT ARE YOU APOLOGIZING FOR? I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT YOU DO MAKE A DIFFERENCE. LIKE HOW YOU ANNOY THE SHIT OUT OF ME AND I GET TO SCREAM AT YOU EVERY DAY? THAT'S A DIFFERENCE.
CA: haha youre awwful
CG: FOR REAL. WHO WOULD I GOSSIP WITH IF I DIDN'T HAVE YOU? THINK ABOUT THAT.
CG: BUT LET'S NOT GET SIDETRACKED HERE, OKAY? HAVE YOU BEEN TALKING TO THEM LATELY?
CA: no not much
CA: and especially not about any of this
CA: i cant
CG: WHY?
CG: RIGHT, YOUR CONFIDENCE.
CG: LET ME THINK. THIS IS A STICKY SITUATION YOU'RE IN, BUT THERE'S ALWAYS A WAY AROUND THESE THINGS. I DON’T THINK SOLLUX IS SEEING ANYONE RIGHT NOW AND MAYBE HE’S NOT *THAT* INDIFFERENT ABOUT YOU? THAT BASTARD IS CAGEY ABOUT THINGS.
CA: you and he are inseparable arent you
CG: ARE YOU SUGGESTING I GET SOME INTEL? BECAUSE I CAN DO THAT. I CAN ASK CASUALLY.
CA: no
CA: kar i can tell youre squeezin your brain tryin to come up ww a solution but its not like you can change peoples hearts so dont bother
CA: airin my grievvances made me feel better already so
CA: thanks for listenin
CG: OKAY, MAYBE I CAN’T FIX YOUR ROMANTIC LIFE (I’M NOT RULING THAT OUT YET), BUT I SURE AS HELL CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT LONELINESS OF YOURS. HOW ABOUT WE HANG OUT TOMORROW?
CG: JUST TWO BROS *NOT* BROODING OVER THEIR UNFULFILLED QUADRANTS OR PLENTIFUL REGRETS?
CA: i honestly dont think im up to it emotionally
CG: GOD, ERIDAN. THAT’S EXACTLY THE POINT. I’M NOT LETTING YOU DWELL IN MISERY IF I CAN HELP IT.
CA: i appreciate it
CA: but you dont havve to force yourself
CG: HOW ABOUT THIS, I’LL TAKE YOU TO STARBOONS SO YOU CAN BUY A MAGNILOQUENT OVERPRICED PIECE OF SHIT DRINK WITH AN UNPRONOUNCEABLE NAME THAT WILL LOOK GORGEOUS IN YOUR COLOR COORDINATED FEED. I'LL EVEN BUY ONE TO MATCH SO THAT YOU CAN KILL TWO TALONSCREECHERS WITH ONE STONE AND BRAG ABOUT YOUR SOCIAL LIFE TO YOUR CLIQUE OF PSEUDO CELEBRITY BOOTLICKERS.
CA: that sounds like an offer i cant refuse
CG: GREAT. SO IT'S DECIDED.
CA: your crush wworks all wweek right
CG: ...
CG: I'M STARTING TO THINK THAT MAYBE YOU WERE ONTO SOMETHING WHEN YOU SAID YOU WERE A STUCK UP TAXING CUNNING ASSHOLE.
CA: rude
CA: didnt you wwant to cheer me up thatd cheer me right up
CG: STATE YOUR INTENTIONS CLEARLY AND I’LL CONSIDER IT.
CA: i didnt get a good look at him last time
CG: SO WHAT? YOU WANT ME TO TAKE YOU THERE SO THAT YOU CAN TAP THE GLASS OF THE MONKEY CAGE?
CA: let me havve my fun kar i just wwant to see for myself
CA: the monkey that managed to seduce the infamous karkat vvantas
CG: YOU’RE SO INSUFFERABLE THAT I DON’T EVEN HAVE THE ENERGY TO ARGUE ABOUT ME NOT HAVING A FUCKING CRUSH ANYMORE. I WON’T EVEN COMMENT ON THE MONKEY THING.
CA: so are wwe goin or not
CG: I PROMISE UNDER OATH THAT NOT GETTING LAID WILL BE THE LAST OF YOUR PROBLEMS IF YOU EMBARRASS ME IN FRONT OF HIM. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
CG: I’M 100% GONNA REGRET THIS, BUT MEET ME AT TEN THERE.
CA: wwonderful ill see you then
CA: try not to look too unpresentable
CG: ERIDAN, WAIT.
CA: wwhat noww
CG: WILL YOU BE OKAY?
CA: ivve been wworse dont wworry
CG: DUDE, OF COURSE I’D WORRY IF YOU SAY IT LIKE THAT.
CA: i havve wwork to keep me busy until wwe meet up so ill be fine
caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 22:22
Karkat was left with an uneasy feeling; Eridan never refused a hang out, he never played down his emotions or dismissed anyone’s words of concern or attention. Since he lived in a perpetual state of lonesomeness, sometimes it was hard to take him seriously, but Karkat felt like he had failed him as a friend.
He stared at the options on the multiple screens in front of him: "Resume", "Quit game". He sighed, selected the latter and turned off his computer. There went another perfectly wasted night, but he figured he’d need all the sleep he could get to deal with whatever nonsense Eridan, Dave, or even himself would come up with next morning.