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“ Anthony, open this door right now!”
Tony rolled onto his side, facing the back of the couch. Maybe if he concentrated enough, the world would just melt away around him. Or swallow him up.
Unfortunately, neither of those things happened. The banging didn’t stop. Nor did the voice calling for him go away or get any quieter.
He wasn’t sure how long it all lasted, but at some point, the voice was closer and a hand was on his shoulder.
“Tony, you can’t stay cooped up in here forever,” Pepper’s gentle voice sounded. “You need to get back to your life.”
“My life is gone, Pep,” Tony sighed, his voice rough from all the crying he’d never admit to anyone but Pepper he’d done everyday for the past 15 days, 3 hours, and 24 minutes.
It was a testament to just how well Pepper knew him that she didn’t call him out for his choice of words right now. She knew just how much he’d lost two weeks ago. Which was saying a lot for the man who was about to inherit the biggest weapons manufacturing company in the world and become one of the most powerful businessmen as a result.
“I know you miss him,” Pepper tried again. “I miss him too. But your dad is going to be here in a couple of days-“
Tony turned to her then, rage building in his already dark brown eyes. “Oh, and I should look presentable and respectable for his sake? Maybe he should see what he’s doing to me. How absolutely ridiculous all this is.” Tony shook his head as yet another wave of tears overtook him. “How much he’s hurting me by forcing this on me,” he finally added.
“Oh, sweetie.” Pepper sat besides him on the couch and pulled him into a hug. They sat in silence for long minutes, except for the sounds of Tony sniffling from time to time, before Pepper spoke up. “You do know you have options. And I’m following you, whatever you decide.”
Tony shook his head again. They’d had this conversation before – about 17 days or so ago, when his dad had dropped the news on him. Pepper had tried so hard to convince him that he didn’t need to go along with Howard’s crazy plans and ideas, but Tony insisted this was the only way.
“You know why I can’t, Pep.” Tony finally pushed himself away from her and off the couch. “I’ll go shower. You’re welcome to stay for… whatever meal’s next. Just order something. You know where my credit card is. If you leave, just lock the door behind you, please.”
Pepper tried to call out for him, but he ignored her. He hated the way she’d looked at him since he’d told her of Howard’s ultimatum and what he referred to as ‘what was best for everyone'. The pity and the sadness that she tried so hard to hide but was always visible in the small creases when she frowned, on the downturn of her lips.
He went through the motions of living. Whether it was simple things like making sure he ate – which mostly only happened because of Pepper – or like now with the routine gestures involving taking a shower. He’d all but become one of his bots he’d thought once, but even saying that was an insult to them. They had more fire and life in them than Tony did right now. He’d lost his spark, the spirit that used to consume and fuel him. The happiness and bounce in his step. All of that had gone away 15 days ago.
The day he’d had to tell Steve Rogers it was over between them.
Tony finished his shower and went to find clothes. After some rummaging he found one sweater that wasn’t dirty and almost started screaming when he realized it used to be Steve’s. Instead, he slipped it over his head and tried to find a hint of him left on it. It had been hidden for so long at the back of his closet that that had faded away months ago. Maybe it was for the better, he thought ruefully.
He puttered into the kitchen just as Pepper was finishing a call. He didn’t pay her much mind as he went to the cupboard to grab a glass and fill it with water.
“We’ll be down in 5,” Pepper said before putting her phone on the counter. “I need you to come outside with me for a minute.”
“And why would I want to do that?” Tony asked, not looking at her as he refilled his glass. If he was going to be crying, he needed to refill the tank, so to speak. The massive headaches after the first few days had at least taught him that much. “Did you order that much take out?”
“I need to show you something,” she answered in her own matter-of-fact way. She leaned against the counter facing him, and Tony noticed a hint of a smile on her lips. He hadn’t seen her smile in his presence in 16 days, the last time being just before he’d told her his plan to do what he’d called ‘the right thing’ and break up with Steve. “Come on. A few minutes outside and then you can go right back to moping all you want. I won’t even make you dress up for your dad’s visit.”
He narrowed his eyes at her. “Pepper, what’s going on?”
“I need you to trust me,” was all she said as she extended her hand and wiggled her fingers for him to take.
Tony slipped his hand in hers, following her to the entrance, then outside the townhouse he rented once he had proper footwear on. The door opened and he regretted not grabbing a jacket.
And then he regretted leaving the house altogether.
“Hey,” was all that left Steve’s mouth when their eyes met. He looked just as miserable as Tony felt on the inside; probably a reflection of how bad he would have looked if he hadn’t just showered.
“Pep, what the fuck?” Tony pleaded with her quietly.
“Just trust me. Hear him out, then whatever you decide to do, I’m on your side.” Pepper kissed his cheek, then Tony saw her wink at Steve before she disappeared back inside.
They stared at each other awkwardly for a long minute that felt like a year. Tony was torn between wanting to run down the stairs to throw himself in Steve’s arms and stomping back inside the house behind Pepper and giving her a piece of his mind.
“Did you two plan to ambush me like this or what,” was what finally left his mouth, and he winced. He had no reason to be mad at Steve, not really. None of this was his fault.
“Pepper had nothing to do with this. Was just a happy coincidence she was here,” Steve answered softly.
“Happy,” Tony scoffed. “Funny choice of words.”
Steve chuckled humorlessly before nodding. “I’ve never felt as miserable as I have the past two weeks,” he admitted, and Tony’s heart broke even more than he thought possible given how badly he’d felt himself.
“I’m sorry, Steve,” Tony shrugged before crossing his arms tightly around himself. “I don’t know how many more ways I can say it or how to make this better. You have no idea how much I wish I could make this better.”
A small, barely there smile graced Steve’s lips and for a second Tony could have sworn he felt his heart piece itself back together. The hardest part of all this had been the memory of Steve’s face as he’d had to walk away from him. Clear blue eyes that had gone clouded because of him. He could deal with having to live with his choice, but knowing he broke Steve’s heart as much as his own? That part was the worst of it all.
“Marry me,” Steve finally said.
Tony leaned against the railing besides him, gripping it hard. There was no way Steve had just asked what he thought he’d heard. He searched his face, hoping to find a crack somewhere that would reveal what Steve truly meant, but all he saw was Steve’s fierce determination and stubborn will start to pierce through the cloudiness of his features.
When Tony didn’t say a word, Steve took a step forward, landing on the bottom step, and he repeated the words again, this time stronger, surer. “Marry me, Tony.”
“Steve you know I can’t-“
“No, I know why you think you can’t,” Steve corrected him. “I get why you think you’re doing the right thing here, Tony, but you’re wrong. Baby, you are so wrong.”
Tears spilled down Tony’s cheek, and he closed his eyes. “I can’t do that to you, Steve.”
“You seem to forget that I don’t care about your last name. I don’t care about the money. I don’t care if we have to live in my tiny apartment together. And I sure as hell know neither of us cares about Stark Industries as it stands right now.”
Tony opened his eyes again and saw Steve had moved up another couple of steps. “He’s going to take everything away,” Tony whispered, remembering his father's threat: Marry someone he thought was an acceptable match given Tony's stature in life, or forfeit everything he had and was set to inherit.
“Like I said: I don’t care.”
“You deserve better than that!” Tony shouted. “You deserve the world, Steve. I can’t give that to you without all of this.”
Steve smiled again, his true smile this time, and Tony wanted so badly to let himself be wrapped in Steve’s strong arms, believe that any of this was true and could be fixed and that Steve was actually saying what he was saying. Tony wanted nothing more than to see that smile on Steve’s face for the rest of eternity. But Tony genuinely believed he couldn’t be the one to make that happen. Steve deserved so much more than he could give him if he was a broke engineer with no job prospects and no trustfund.
“That’s where you’re wrong, sweetheart,” Steve replied, taking one more step up, almost at eye level with Tony now. “All I want- all I need to be happy is you, Tony. The cars and the fancy apartment? The money, the nice dinners and galas? They’re fun little perks of dating Tony Stark. But they aren’t you .
“I promise, I don’t need a single one of these things. All I need is to wake up next to you. To hear you laugh, and see you smile, and get to kiss you whenever I want. To watch as you undoubtedly create a company that is ten times better than Stark Industries, because I know you don’t want to make weapons. I want you to be happy, Tony. And, if everything you have right now is what makes you happy, and if marrying Ty Stone because Howard says so does, then tell me now and I’ll back off. But I don’t need those things and I don’t think you do either. I just need you.”
Tony shook his head, half in answer to Steve’s last point, half because he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “You say that now, but when we’ve been stuck eating boxed mac and cheese for weeks on end and no one will fund my stupid ideas and we can’t even afford our Netflix or Disney+ accounts-“
“I just need you,” Steve repeated as he ascended the last few steps, standing on the one just below Tony now, and nothing could have stopped either of them from wrapping their arms around the other then.
“I’ve been miserable without you too, Steve,” Tony said against Steve’s neck. “I missed you. I don’t care about any of it either, I just want you to be happy. I thought I needed to be me to do that. I’m so sorry, Steve.”
“You do need to be you. You just don’t need all the stuff that goes along with it.” Steve pulled back just enough to cup Tony’s face in his hands. “I will eat Kraft Dinner every day for the rest of my life if it means I get to do it sitting next to you.”
Tony laughed as happy tears streamed down his cheeks. “I missed you so much.”
Steve brushed the tears from Tony’s cheeks away with his thumbs and gently pulled him forward, bringing their lips together for a short, sweet moment. And for the first time in 15 days, Tony’s world felt back on kilter. He felt happiness that he thought would never be there again.
“Did you mean it?” Tony whispered against Steve’s lips, needing to make sure before he let himself get carried away in the wave of pure joy he could feel swelling up inside him.
“I meant all of it, sweetheart. I know this is scary, and we don’t have a lot of time before Howard gets here and we need to talk about a lot of stuff, but I meant it. I love you, Tony.”
“And, um, the ‘marry me’ thing? Was that just you being dramatic-“
“Oh shit, no, I- hold on,” Steve mumbled as he started frantically searching his pockets until a thin gold band appeared between his fingers.
“Oh,” Tony breathed out, having expected the words to come with a promise of a future proposal.
“Marry me,” Steve repeated, beaming at Tony as he said it this time. Tony nodded as Steve took his hand and slid the band on his ring finger.
“You’re really sure about this?” Tony asked again, as if Steve was the one letting go of his family legacy and fortune.
“Stop. I will say it as many times as you need me to say it, but yes. One hundred percent,” Steve answered solemnly.
“That means we need to find room for the bots at your place. And I really can’t promise we can afford Disney+ after my current subscription expires. We might not get to watch the next season of Mandalorian.”
Steve laughed. “Why do you act like I don’t have a job and we’ll end up on the street?”
“I have expensive tastes you know. None of that no name KD. Nuh-uh! Only the real deal for this guy. And Dijon ketchup too,” Tony teased, but they both knew the humour was a defence mechanism.
“Tony, I promise, we’ll be okay. I know it won’t always be easy, and I’m hoping maybe your dad isn’t as harsh as we’re expecting him to be, but even if he sends you off with just U and Dum-E and the clothes on your back, we’ll figure this out. We’re going to be okay.”
Tony nodded. “We’re going to be okay,” he repeated before Steve kissed him again. And for the first time in 15 days, 4 hours and 15 minutes, he actually believed that to be true.