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Crowley was turning to leave the room when it happened. The trial had come and gone with the plan working perfectly, the only evidence of the flames which had engulfed him just moments ago being faint stench of sulfur that clung to him. For the first time in his very long existence he believed that they might be left to do as they please for the time being. No more secret meetings or pretending to not know one another. He was relieved that neither him nor Aziraphale would have to step foot in the clinical expanse that heaven had become, or the pit that hell had always been. Of course that’s when Gabriel decided to speak up - erasing any relief or satisfaction Crowley may have felt.
“I will admit - you are one being I never thought I’d see standing in these halls again.”
“I beg your pardon?” Crowley inquired, careful to maintain his façade.
“I mean I’ll give you some credit - the disguise is pretty clever.”
“I have no idea what you're referring to” He hoped against hope that by feigning ignorance he may be able to slip out of this, though he already knew they were found out.
Gabriel continued on as if Crowley hadn’t spoken at all making a point to look away from the demon “You probably would have gotten away with it - but it’s a bit like fitting a round peg in a square hole isn’t it .” Crowley stared at him all earlier sensations of relief having dissolved into something far closer to grief “Who even knew it was possible! An angel and a demon swapping corporations like that. It’s a wonder that you weren’t both discorporated in the process.” Crowley couldn’t help but notice the slight disappointment in Gabriel's last statement.
“Just goes to show that you shouldn’t underestimate your subordinates I suppose.”
Gabriel continued on as if Crowley hadn’t even spoken, picking at one of his cuticles as if it had become especially interesting to him suddenly.
“The amount of power it would take to even make a miracle like that work, the amount it would take just to make sure your essences weren’t dissolved in the process. I never would have dreamed Aziraphale would play a hand in something so - ” he paused pursing his lips slightly as if looking for the right word “-Grandiose.” Gabriel looked at him directly then “Though I suppose - even at your lowest you have ten times the power of some useless principality.”
Crowley clenched his fists tight hissing through his teeth at the archangel “You don’t get to talk about him like that - he’s better than all of you combined.”
Gabriel laughed harshly before continuing “I suppose I have to ask - does he know?”
“Does he know what?” Crowley spat all previous attempts at maintaining composure gone.
“Does he know who you are? No, sorry, not who you are - who you were before you took the plunge so to speak.”
Crowley didn’t respond which was enough to answer Gabriel’s question all on its own.
His purple eyes lit up “He doesn’t does he!? He doesn’t know what you are! He’s really daft enough to think that it’s a coincidence that you’re the one they sent up to the garden all those years ago - he thinks you're just as meaningless and insignificant as him! He thinks that you’re equals!” His eyes still sparkled with malicious delight “I guess it finally makes sense how such a pitiful excuse of an angel has been able to hold it together so well on earth. It’s all been you following him around like some sort of lost puppy saving him anytime he stupidly gets in over his head. If I didn't know any better I'd say you loved the idiot. ”
He was now clenching his hands so tight that he could feel nails biting into his palm “We are equals Gabriel. He would be just fine without me - just as he will be fine without any of you.”
Gabriel let out a disgusted scoff “Equals! How moronic! You know that even if you have fallen - he could never measure up to the power you have, brother. The power we were all given over the rest of them” the way he emphasized the word brother made Crowley's stomach twist.
“Brother?” He sneered ignoring the knots in his stomach “That’s funny! I don’t remember us being brothers when I was thrown into the flames over six millennia ago! You'd think if we were brothers we may have kept in touch.”
“You were a traitor!”
Crowley scoffed “A traitor?! Really? Even you couldn’t be so daft! I didn’t want any part of your ridiculous meaningless feud! You all punished me because I wouldn’t take a side - not because I took the wrong one.”
“I always thought it was a shame you know. All that power and you chose to squander it. You could have been the best of us - at one point you may have been - if only you hadn’t been so weak. Mother would be so disappointed.” Gabriel looked at him with a sarcastic pout on his lips.
“If refusing to take part in your bloodbath makes me weak, then it is a title I will happily take. I mean look at you now - willing to throw one of your own - even if in your eyes he is only a mere principality- into the flames just because you didn’t get your war? You all really have learned nothing since the first war. Heaven and Hell - both so obsessed with victory that they will destroy anything in their path to have it. You may believe you are superior, but truly you’re no better than Lucifer - you just haven’t accepted it yet” Gabriel looked furious - but Crowley pushed on letting the words that had sat on the tip of his tongue for millennia free “Your superiority complexes are what caused the first war - and it will inevitably be what destroys you all. You both always viewed humanity as pawns- as some sort of token that could be won - something to conquer. None of you have ever cared about the lives they have managed to build for themselves. Lives that they earned - that they designed. They can be so much more than just souls to be won, they have so much more power to change the world than any angel of demon could dream of possessing.”
“You always were delusional Raphael- humans are temporary you know that as well as anyone we existed long before them and we will live long after they are gone. When the apocalypse truly begins - and it will - mortality will be no more than the dust under our feet. It will be as she has always intended.”
“You are a fool if you believe that our existence is permanent, immortality does not make us indefinite. Tell me, if humanity getting destroyed in your war is part of her great plan - then why are we standing here now having this conversation. That is - unless you're starting to question her. We both know what happens when you try and do that.” Crowley took a second to enjoy the influx of expressions crossing the face of the angel in front of him before quickly carrying on “My name is Crowley by the way. It has been for a very long time now and if this is what being an archangel is nowadays then I’ll gladly keep it. I can think of no greater honor than to leave all of this", Crowley swept an arm towards the empty space surrounding them, "behind.”
If Gabriel was angry before now he looked downright murderous. “Now- unless you really want everyone to hear about how the ‘Archangel Fucking Gabriel’ was outsmarted a demon and a - how did you put it - a mere principality.“ Crowley made a flippant gesture with his hand “Then I suggest we keep this little conversation to ourselves. I think it would be better for the both of us. I mean you really don't want anybody questioning your authority when they find out you cant even control your foot soldiers and well” he glanced at the watch Aziraphale kept on his wrist “I really should be going now, I have a prior engagement. Aziraphale does so hate when I'm late and if he found out I had made a scene - in his body no less - I’m afraid he really would have my head.”
Crowley spun on his heel and started walking out of the room, while Gabriel opened his mouth and closed it again a few times, as if he was trying to find words to respond but they just wouldn't come - making him look like a fish out of water unused to not having the last word. Crowley paused when he reached the exit, one hand resting on the door, to throw one more comment over his shoulder towards the baffled angel behind him. He was grinning the way Aziraphale did when he had a particularly persistent customer, more malice than mirth. “I’d say it's a pleasure to see you again Gabe, but I think we both know I’d be lying.” His tone took on a venomous edge befitting the snake he was “ So instead I’ll leave you with a message on behalf both Aziraphale and myself - I hope for your sake that neither one of us ever has to see you again - brother.” He winked, and with that he was gone - finally moving on to live the rest of his life with his angel free to do as he pleases. Leaving in his wake a stunned, and very very angry Archangel Gabriel.