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"WHAT IS THE ONE THING I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO!?" Sakura hissed, looking for all intents like she was about to pop a blood vessel. Sadly for her teammates, even if she did, it wouldn't stop her for a second. She'd heal it without even pausing her shouting.
Sasuke winced. "Not to try experimental time-space ninjutsu on the battlefield."
"AND WHAT DID YOU DO!?"
"Tried experimental time-space ninjutsu on the battlefield," he monotoned, shuffling his feet. Sakura huffed. Sasuke allowed his eyes to wander to the dumbfounded faces of the armies behind them, unsurprised to see a man who looked almost identical to him. His attention was quickly refocused when Sakura resumed her yelling.
"WHY? WHY DOES NO ONE LISTEN TO ME!?" Sakura shrieked. "I AM THE MEDIC! I AM THE APPRENTICE OF THE SANNIN WITH THE HIGHEST DEATHS BY DRUNKEN RAGE! I AM CAPABLE OF SNAPPING YOUR TWIG NECKS WITH A FLICK! WHAT MORE MUST I DO TO GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULLS THAT I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!?"
She paused to take a deep breath, panting slightly. Exhaling slowly, she massaged her temples and tried to calm down.
"I do not have an all-powerful sharingan," she said, "or a literal demon as my best friend and partner, or personal pocket dimension. But I do have one thing that none of you do. Do you know what it is?"
It's silent and Sakura waits. When it becomes apparent that she wants an answer, Naruto scrambles for anything to say.
"...Pink hair?" He pipes up hesitantly. Sakura's eyes flash dangerously.
"COMMON SENSE, YOU IDIOTS! HOW YOU LOT ARE STILL ALIVE IS A MIRACLE; A MIRACLE BY THE NAME OF SAKURA HARUNO, YOUR MEDIC TEAMMATE WHO HAS HAD TO SAVE EACH OF YOUR LIVES AT LEAST FIVE TMES!" She just about ripped out her hair right then and there, angling her head to the sky and letting out a wordless scream of frustration. Kakashi-sensei cleared his throat with a nervous cough.
"Uh, now, now, Sakura... It's okay--" The glare Sakura sent him pinned him in place and shut him up immediately. Sweat rolled down the back of his neck.
"Okay?" She repeated, deceptively calm, "It's okay, Kakashi-sensei? Is it really?"
She gestured to the stunned faces of Madara Uchiha and Hashirama Senju behind her. "BECAUSE IT LOOKS TO ME LIKE WE'RE IN THE FLIPPING PAST, BEFORE KONOHA WAS EVEN BUILT! IZUNA UCHIHA IS STILL ALIVE, FOR GOODNESS SAKES!"
Izuna blurted out, "I'm dead?" at the same time Hashirama perked up and said, "Konoha?" Sakura shot them both death glares.
"Shut up! This has nothing to do with you!" She snapped. Madara frowned.
"It seems like it has everything to do with us, seeing as you just implied my brother should be dead and that the peaceful delusion Hashirama and I made up as kids actually comes to fruition."
Sakura's whole body was trembling, Sasuke realized suddenly. His eyes widened and he barely grabbed Naruto, screaming, "GET DOWN!" before the world erupted into chaos.
From the rock he ducked behind for cover, Sasuke could hear screams and felt the earth shaking with the vestiges of Sakura's fury. He jumped when a dark-haired shinobi flew past him and hit the ground with a choked sob. The shinobi's face was white as a sheet, eyes haunted and wide open. Sasuke held his breath, thinking the guy was dead. He almost screamed when the shinobi's eyes moved to meet Sasuke's. The shinobi's face reflected complete, unadulterated terror.
"She—" The man choked on tears— "She's a monster."
The man passed out and Sasuke almost had a heart attack.
Meanwhile, Kakashi dared peek a glance at the one-sided beatdown. Sakura alone stood, hunched over like a savage animal and a wild snarl. Her pupils were blown wide and when Kakashi dared move, her eyes snapped to him.
"Sakura-chan..." Kakashi called hesitantly, reverting to the affectionate suffix of their genin days. "Sakura-chan, happy thoughts. Think happy thoughts."
Sakura titled her head, hair sticking to the blood that splattered her face. Kakashi approached cautiously.
"Think about syrup-coated anko dumplings and umeboshi and, uh, the cute little bonsai tree that Yamato made you. Think of... of..." Kakashi's mind raced. "Uh... Dammit, Naruto, help me out here!"
Naruto squeaked, blurting out the first thing that came to mind, "Remember Ino's face when I dyed her hair orange!"
A glimpse of sanity entered Sakura's eyes and Kakashi let out a breath of relief. Naruto gave a tentative grin, laughing slightly.
"She was so mad, heh... She really didn't pull it off well."
Sakura snorted. "Yeah, she... she refused to leave her bedroom until it wore off. I had to drag her along on one of my missions and she was so pissed. Then, one of the rouge nin we encountered insulted her hair and she broke every bone in his body. She even spit in his face after."
Naruto's smile became a lot more strained all of a sudden. Sakura didn't seem to notice, finally snapping out of it. She shook her head, frowning down at the mutilated army at her feet.
Sasuke crawled out from his hiding spot, pale as a ghost.
"Is it over?" He whispered to Kakashi-sensei, eyeing Sakura like a ticking time bomb. Kakashi-sensei hummed uneasily, shaking his hand in a so-so motion.
Naruto gathered all his courage and walked to stand beside Sakura. He eyed Hashirama Senju's twitching body, before passing a quick glance at Madara's silent black and blue form.
"Ne, Sakura-chan..." Naruto kicked Madara's hand. The world's supposed 'most terrifying Uchiha ever' didn't even open his eyes. "Did you kill the founders before they could even found Konoha?"
"Hmm?" Sakura cast an uninterested eye over Madara and Hashirama. She shrugged. "They'll live, as will the others. After all, it's not like I'd actually kill anyone. If I did, I might accidentally prevent Sasuke from being born or something."
Sakura paused, narrowing her eyes. "On second thought..."
Kakashi sweatdropped.