Chapter Text
Yet another sorcerer wanted to harm Arthur. Merlin was really starting to get tired of saving him from threat after threat and never getting anything in return. Of course he didn’t do it for that, or else Merlin would have left ages ago. But a “thanks” here and there would be nice. But what does he get in return? Arthur yelling at him for spending too much time in the tavern and piling on more chores. Merlin is really wondering how much more he could take of it.
They were out hunting. Arthur decided in the morning that they were going to go hunting, not caring whether or not Merlin had other things to do, which, spoiler, he did. He had a long list of things to do for both Gaius and Arthur. At least he could pick some herbs Gaius needed while Arthur was killing whatever helpless animal was next.
The worst part: none of the other knights were able to come, so it was just Arthur and Merlin, meaning Merlin had to have an active conversation with Arthur the entire time. Don’t get him wrong, Merlin cared deeply for Arthur, even if he sometimes questioned why, but he could really get on his nerves sometimes. Recently, more often than not. Although, Merlin would never say anything. He didn’t want to actually offend his Royal Highness.
They had been out hunting for a while; Merlin was able to collect a majority of the herbs Gaius needed without actively seeking them out. He barely recognized where they were anymore. Merlin was getting really tired and stopped paying attention. He closed his eyes and started to doze off a little. He registered that Arthur was talking to him, but couldn’t quite care enough to know what he was saying.
A few minutes went by when Merlin felt a rush of magic sweep through him. That perked him right up. “Arthur! Stop!”
“What is it now, Merlin?” Arthur replied, sounding annoyed, but he stopped nonetheless.
“Someone’s here.” As if on cue, a man jumped out in front of them.
“Hello, Emyrs,” was all Merlin heard as he and Arthur were put to sleep with a spell.
They woke up in what looked like the arena Gwaine and Arthur were forced to fight in when they were captured by Jarl. Lovely bloke.
“Ah, you are finally awake. Took you long enough,” Merlin and Arthur snapped their heads to the noise and saw the man from before. Arthur reached for his sword before realizing it wasn’t there.
“What do you want with us?” Arthur asked, getting right to the point.
“Well, I’ve been told that you don’t know the importance of the people around you.” The man looked at Merlin, and Merlin was dreading what was coming next.
“What the hell are you talking about?” Arthur asked in response.
“You’ll find out very soon. You’re about to relive the events that caused the scars you both have received since meeting each other. Get ready to be enlightened, Arthur Pendragon.” And with that, a white flash brought them to a new place.
It started off with Arthur in a cave. He was reaching for a small, yellow flower. Beneath him were giant spiders climbing up the wall to reach him. A blue orb of light appeared above Arthur, apparently trying to lead him out. He finally reached the flower and started to climb up the wall, following the strange orb, scratching his arm on a rock in the process, something he wouldn’t even realize until later.
“You really did all that for me?” Merlin asked.
“You would do the same.”
The next memory that played was of Aulfric and Merlin. They were trying to get Arthur to go with them to what Merlin knew was for a sacrifice. Merlin was pleading with Arthur to get him to stop, but he was enchanted. Aulfric blasted Merlin with his staff before leaving with Arthur.
“You told me you had to knock me out that time!”
“Yeah, you were actually enchanted and I had to save your sorry arse.”
After that played one of Merlin’s least favorite moments: when Arthur was bitten by the questing beast. There wasn’t really a question of how it happened; they both remembered the day better than they liked to admit.
“Feels weird seeing it happen to me.”
“Still hate seeing it happen to you.”
Merlin knew this was coming next.
He was at the Isle of Blessed, Gaius appearing dead by the table. Nimueh was there as well. “With my help, Arthur will become king.”
“I will make Arthur king. But you will never see that day. Ástríce!”
Nimueh caught the attack easily. “Your childish tricks are useless against me, Merlin. I am a priestess of the Old Religion. Forbærne! You, too, are a creature of the Old Religion. You should join me.”
“You think I would join forces with such a selfish and cruel magic? Never.”
“So be it. Ácwele!” A fireball was shot and hit Merlin square in the chest, knocking him down.
“Arthur,” Merlin looked over at him and pleaded. Arthur wouldn’t even meet his gaze.
It cut to Merlin facing Cedric while he was possessed by Sigan. “He does not deserve your loyalty. He treats you like a slave.”
“That's not true.”
“He cast you aside without a moment's thought.”
“That doesn't matter.”
“But it must hurt so much to be so put upon, so overlooked, when all the while you have such power.”
“That's the way it has to be.”
“Does it? You're young, Merlin. Look inside yourself. You have yet to discover your true power. I can help you. Think, Merlin. To have the world appreciate your greatness. To have Arthur know you for what you are.”
“That can never be.”
“It can, if you join me. Together we can rule over this land. Arthur will tremble at your voice, he will kneel at your feet.”
“I don't want that.”
“You'd rather be a servant?”
“Better to serve a good man than to rule with an evil one.”
“So be it. If you will not join me, I will become you and your power will be harnessed to my will.”
“Ic þín sáwol hér beléac, abide þæt ic þé álíese!”
Merlin fell to the ground. His head began to jerk and his eyes opened and turned black.
Neither Merlin nor Arthur said anything. But Arthur questioned why Merlin wouldn’t take Cedric up on his offer. After all, most of what he said was true.
Merlin and Arthur continued on through the memories, facing things like Arthur during the jousting tournament with the bounty hunter, Lady Catrina trapping Merlin behind the rock wall, Merlin getting his first “battle wound” when they fought the knights of Medhir, Arthur getting hurt while searching for Balinor, and so much more.
They both took notice of how many more Merlin had than Arthur. From the serket’s sting to Morgana putting the Fomorroh in his neck, Merlin easily had triple the amount of scars than Arthur did.
By the end, Arthur didn’t know what to think. Merlin, his closest friend for over 10 years, was a sorcerer. He had magic. The very thing that Arthur spent his entire life hating, Merlin had. At the same time, he had seen all that Merlin had done for him. Merlin had risked his life so many times for Arthur and never once sought credit. He never said anything the countless times he came back from stopping yet another threat and all he got in return were more chores from Arthur for being gone.
Really, Arthur didn’t even care that Merlin had magic. He didn’t have the hatred of it that his father did. During his reign, socerers had stopped being actively sought out and druids were allowed into the kingdom. He cared that Merlin had lied all this time. That Merlin never trusted him enough.
“Arthur,” Merlin started. “I-”
“Don’t. You’ve lied to me all this time.”
“Arthur, please.”
“What did you think I was going to do? Kill you? I thought you of all people would trust me enough.”
“Arthur, it’s not like that.”
“Then what is it, Merlin? Because you told Lancelot within days of meeting him but didn’t tell me after 10 years?”
“What did you expect me to do? What other choice did I have?”
“You could have told me.”
“No, Arthur, I couldn’t have. I never could have whilst your father was still alive, and after he died, you trusted magic even less.”
“I’ve stopped hunting sorcerers! Druids are allowed back in Camelot!” There was a pause. “You could have told me.”
“Really? When? When the Great Dragon attacked Camelot? When your father died and you blamed the loss of both parents on magic? Maybe when Gwen was enchanted with magic? Ooh, or maybe when the Disir, creatures of magic, almost killed Mordred? You know Arthur, it’s not as easy as you make it sound. I wanted to tell you every second of every day. But I was fearing for my life! Do you not understand that?”
“Merlin-”
“No! Instead I had to grieve silently for my father, who I met days before he died, and I couldn’t even tell anyone! You killed the love of my life and had no idea! Having to save your sorry arse again and again and then being blamed for being in the tavern. You have no idea what I’ve been through the past ten years. Scars don’t tell the entire story.”
Arthur was speechless. He had no idea what to do. Merlin had never, never, done or said anything like this before. He guessed it made sense; ten years of rage boiled up and ready to burst at any second. Neither of them even realized it had started raining, even though it was the middle of summer.
Not knowing what to do, Arthur walked up to Merlin and did something he had only done once before: he hugged him. Only then did he notice that Merlin had been silently crying. Once Arthur hugged him, however, he started sobbing into Arthur’s shoulder.
“Well looks like my work here is done.” Arthur and Merlin let go of each other and Merlin stepped in front of Arthur protectively.
“What was the point of all this?” Merlin asked.
“Now don’t be like that, Emrys.” You know why I did this. He said the last part to Merlin’s head.
You’re a druid?
How else would I know your true name?
You’d be surprised. You never answered my question: why did you do all this?
The Albion we were dreaming of was taking too long to come. You needed a little push to reveal your true nature to your other half.
And this was the best way to do that?
“What is happening right now?” Arthur said aloud. Right, he was still there. All Arthur had witnessed was Merlin and the other man seemingly having a stare off.
“Nothing,” Merlin responded. “We can go.”
“Just like that?”
“Yeah, he’s not a threat.”
Goodbye, Emrys. It was an honor to meet you.
“Let’s go.”