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“Know this, Darth Vader, the artefact may only be used once. So choose the point of return wisely.”
The words echoed in the head of the towering Sith as he strode quickly and purposefully through the Mos Espa marketplace. The bustling crowd wisely parted for him, inherently sensing that it would be foolish to stand in his way. They eyed the suit and the lightsaber on his hip with fear splashed across their faces as they wondered what and where and why.
Long accustomed to stares, Vader merely ignored them, along with the fear and anticipation that hummed in the Force. Once he would have made known his wrath, but he had not seen her in years and the boy buried deep under the darkness could not wait any longer.
Vader stormed the Hutt Palace, pausing only to ensure Gardulla received the death that she deserved. Her guards were too unloyal and cowardly to avenge her. Thus, he was unchallenged and unopposed when he used the Force to crush the durasteel door of Gardulla’s safe, and when he took two deactivator wands.
It was at that moment that a ghost from his past used her voice for what was perhaps the first time.
“What about the rest of them?” the young Twi’lek, named Pala Kwi’teksa, had bravely yelled at his back when he turned to leave.
He halted in his stride and turned to look at the child who could not have been a day older than six. She was shaking with fear, but her green face sang of determination and her gold eyes burned with hope.
“Free them all,” he replied. He had not meant it to be an order, but the youngling who was raised a slave took it as one. She rushed into the room and lifted the front of her skirts and filled them with as many wands as she could carry. Behind his mask, Vader’s eyes narrowed when the wands started slipping as she overfilled the small span of cloth. He sensed her desperation, her fear, and he knew it was not unfounded.
Refusing to be the reason for anyone’s continued enslavement, he walked past the crushed metal door and stepped into the room. Using the Force, he lifted the hundreds of wands in the air and let them collect in the space behind him. Then he picked out the one that had her name written on it and floated it to the small Twi’lek.
“Deactivate your chip then destroy the wand,” Vader instructed, “and tell everyone that their freedom can be found with Shmi Skywalker.”
She reached out to grab the wand, nodded once and ran, and he turned back to his task, his heavy step echoing, his dark cape billowing, and the wands bobbing along in air behind him.
- - -
Seeing his Mother again was everything and nothing like he always imagined it would be. She was younger and far more beautiful than he remembered. Her dark hair was braided in that perfect way, and her eyes still sparkled with stars.
“Can I help you?” she asked, as she shoved her two-year-old son, the boy who was once him, safely behind her.
The Force shuddered with her fear and shone with her courage.
Calling forth the two wands that belonged to Shmi and Anakin, he floated them forwards until she reached out and pulled them back into her chest. “I need your help, Shmi Skywalker,” he told her, bringing all the wands forward so that she could see them. Her eyes grew wide as she looked at them all, as she wondered at what held them in the air. “And in return, I will help you and your son.”
Shmi simply gaped at him, her face riddled with confusion, distrust, and disbelief.
“Why?” she asked when she found her voice.
“Because the biggest problem in the universe is that no one helps each other.”
- - -
It took them two weeks to return all the wands, and as each day passed Vader became more and more agitated.
Strangers no longer feared him.
The boy did not. Stop. Talking.
And the sand got everywhere.
But there was no arguing with Shmi. Once the insufferable woman had been given the responsibility of returning the wands to the slaves, she stubbornly refused to give it up. According to her, the temptation was too much and even those she thought of as friends could not be trusted to take on the task.
And she knew that she was important to him. Important enough that he could resist the burning desire to hurtmaimkill. Even if she didn’t know why.
Thus, they were still on Tatooine when the Jedi arrived.
- - -
It was disappointingly easy to remove Qui-Gon Jinn and Adi Gallia from his path. He had hoped he would have to draw his lightsaber, to show them what he could really do, but a mere Force push had taken them to the ground and then, as if they were yet another of the Emperors incompetent men he lifted them both up by their throats, smirking at their gasping breaths and soaking up their shock and fear.
“NOOOOOO!”
Vader froze, surprised to find himself staring into the youthful face of his former Master.
“Obi-Wan!” Qui-Gon gasped, his eyes filling with terror and he struggled harder against Vader’s choke hold. Shame it was to no avail.
The eighteen-year-old lit his lightsaber, a beam of blue light, blazing brightly between them. “Let them go!” he roared, his voice surprisingly steady and his blue-grey eyes alight with resolve. It was the same light that he had seen in young Pala’s eyes; a promise to give everything to do what was right.
Dropping the Jedi Masters, he looked pensively at the youth. “You care so little for your life that you would sacrifice it for your Masters, Obi-Wan Kenobi?” he asked
The teen frowned at the use of his name but did not reply.
“Then I offer you this, Padawan: Come with me and I will spare them.”
“Obi-Wan, no!” Qui-Gon cried as he struggled to get off the ground.
Vader squeezed his hand and the Master fell back to his knees, his hands at his throat. He was tired now, pale, desperate for air. He would not be able to fight for much longer.
“Please- stop! I- I will! I will go with you, if you swear, if you promise to let them go.”
Vader smirked behind his mask.
“I will free them, I swear it.” He looked past the youth at the Masters. “But if you come after us, I will make you watch as I destroy him, and then I will kill you.”
Qui-Gon and Adi stared at him dumbly with horror in their eyes.
Vader’s lip curled behind his mask. “You should have been better,” he growled at them as he waited for Kenobi to join him, his hand held out. The youth passed his lightsaber over without hesitation.
“Release them, like you promised,’ Kenobi ordered, his voice free of emotion despite the turmoil behind his eyes.
Vader grinned behind his mask. He shoved the Masters with the Force sending them back into a passing speeder that took them with it.
The Padawan closed his eyes and breathed out relief, even as Vader roughly grabbed his arm.
“Come little Jedi. We have a lot to do.”
- - -
“Who is he?” Shmi demanded boldly as Vader threw the Padawan into the seat behind hers.
He watched as Obi-Wan’s wide eyes met his mother’s and then slid to the boy who was strapped into the seat behind the pilot’s
“Another slave that needed to be freed,” he growled belatedly as he moved to take the pilot’s chair.
Shmi frowned and met the youth’s eye. “Is that true?”
Obi-Wan blinked, surprised by her boldness, then he looked at Vader, a new light entering his eyes.
“From a certain point of view.”
- - -
Vader took them to Naboo because he had been happy there once, and because he knew of a place where the Jedi could not find them. An old, abandoned manor house warded with long forgotten Sith magic that turned away the unwanted. They would be safe there. The Jedi would not find them, nor would the Sith that sat in the Senate.
“Woah, Mom! Look!” the boy cried out as they made their approach.
“Is that your home?” Shmi asked him softly. She seemed hopeful, like she was looking for something, like she knew. And it was too much.
“No,” he snapped coldly, at the same time that Kenobi whispered a slightly awed: “He’d like it to be.”
Hating how easily they saw through him, despite everything, he sped towards the ground. For a moment he relaxed into their distressed cries, but when Anakin yelled out a delighted “Yes!” as he pulled up at the very last moment, he realised it wouldn’t be long until they would see through this too.
- - -
“You’re going to lock me in here?” Kenobi clarified slowly, clearly not sure what to make of the situation he was now in. He was picking himself up of the dusty floor of the mansion’s ancient library, where Vader had just roughly deposited him.
“It’s a library.”
The youth frowned. “I can see that... Is that somehow supposed to make me feel better about being your captive?”
“You enjoy learning.”
“Yes, I do.” He agreed slowly, his brow furrowing further. He looked around. “Is there something you want me to learn?”
“No.”
Padawan Kenobi looked up at him, confusion written all over his face. “So, what do you want from me?”
Vader considered not replying. He considered letting his old Master stew for hours, wondering what his fate might be. The youth must feel the death in the house. The many poor souls that had been part of his Master’s Master’s experiments when the twisted Sith had been just a youth. But keeping secrets from Obi-Wan Kenobi had been his downfall and he had not come back to make the same mistakes.
“You will help with the boy and his mother.”
Kenobi tilted his head just slightly, then his frown deepened. “I won’t help you train him.”
Vader cackled. “I am not fool enough to try tame that child! Nor will I waste my time trying to turn you towards the darkness.”
The Padawan’s brow furrowed. “Then, what is it that you want from me?”
“For now, you will protect them. From me.”
Kenobi studied him for a moment. “You don’t seem as though you would hurt them,” he said, making Vader snarl behind his mask.
“Do not underestimate me, Kenobi. All those who have done so before are dead,” he growled, letting dark clouds billow around him, filling the room.
“And you expect me to be able to temper you... From in here?” the youth exclaimed, his bright inner light making the clouds recoil distastefully “What exactly do you expect me to do differently to ‘all those who have done so before’? You took down two Jedi Masters without even trying. I’m just a Padawan!”
Vader’s whole being objected to the calm he forced over himself. The boy did have a point. He was not yet the formidable Jedi that had put him in the suit. “Very well. Tomorrow we will commence your training,” he replied before finally slamming the door between them and locking it.
- - -
“Third form kata. Now.” Vader snapped, when they made it to a small clearing near the lake at the back of the property. The area was tainted with a darkness that was particularly unfriendly and it took a lot of his strength to ignore the chanted promises of power and greatness.
Kenobi frowned. “Soresu? Here?” He questioned, astutely recognising the darkness that was soaked into the very earth below their feet.
“Do you know it? The third form?”
Kenobi’s frown deepened. “Some.”
“Then begin”
“Why?”
Vader considered his words before replying. If he gave the wrong answer the youth would leave. He had not earned trust, just curiosity. The one benefit of his many displays of weakness, he supposed.
“In a dark place we can find ourselves....” he began, but he could not finish. The old Jedi platitude rang a little too true and brought another time and place to mind. It did not matter; Kenobi had recognised the words.
The youth's surprise melted into regret then resolve. He nodded once, then finally moved, slowly and carefully recalling a form that he clearly knew better than he believed.
Vader watched and made corrections until the youth had mastered each pose, then he left, trusting that Kenobi was both diligent and stubborn enough to continue until he was told otherwise.
- - -
“He didn't hurt you did he?” he heard Shmi ask Kenobi quietly, later that evening. The softly spoken question had carried through the still night air to where he was sat meditating in the garden.
“No,” the youth replied honestly.
He did not hear a reply from the woman, and assumed that she had sighed in relief or simply nodded.
He wondered what he looked like in the picture she was putting together of him. He wondered how she thought she and her son and the Padawan fit in.
His three guests had bonded while sharing the measly dinner that Shmi had made. He had heard their voices warm, and felt the shift in the Force as their anxieties lessened. He supposed the uniqueness of their situation may have forced their hand. Better to have an ally and all. But he suspected that it was simpler than that.
Shmi’s heart was too good not to share what little food she had. Kenobi was right amount of thankful and kind, and he listened patiently to the child.
“No one has been here in a long time from what I can tell,” Shmi said after a little while, picking up the conservation again.
“I came to the same conclusion. The dust in the library is rather suffocating,” Kenobi replied. Vader struggled to hear him over the creaks and groans of the ancient pipes as the water was turned on and the sink was filled. “I'm rather impressed you found something to eat.”
“I’m used to putting together meals with very little food.”
“You did well, Shmi. I can't thank you enough for sharing” Kenobi said politely. “Please don't feel as though you must, though. If there is not enough, I am willing to go without. Your son needs it more."
“My- You- That is -“she stuttered, as struggled with the unfamiliarity of kindness. Vader clenched his fists. He hated that she was so surprised by what Kenobi afforded her. She deserved to be treated kindly by every being! “It's alright,” she said, startling Vader out of his downward spiral. “We have enough. There is large vegetable garden that Vader said we can take from. He- He said we can do what we like so long as we stay away from his room and his ship.
“I don't think Lord Vader cares much for possessions.”
“He said the same. But in the beginning you can't always be sure that...” she trailed off, aware that her words spoke volumes about her. “It- It's probably best that you know that Anakin and I were slaves until recently.”
“I am sorry,” Kenobi said, his voice thick with understanding. “If there is anything I can do...”
“We’ll be alright. It is just change. A good change... But it will still take me some time,” she explained. “Anakin, on the other hand.”
Kenobi chuckled. “From his chatter at dinner it sounded like he had a good day.”
“He hasn't had many liberties in the past so he is taking advantage of it. Thankfully, Vader didn't seem to mind his exploring.”
The conversation broke for a while and he heard the familiar clicks and clangs of crockery and cutlery being put away.
“If you don't mind me asking. How did you meet Vader?” Kenobi asked when they seemed ready to retire for the evening.
Shmi hesitated for a moment but then seemed to think better of it. “He was the one that freed us.”
“He freed you?” Obi-Wan repeated slowly.
“I know it doesn't make any sense. He is a creature of nightmares,” she replied. “And yet...”
He heard Obi-Wan hum thoughtfully in agreement. “And yet.”
- - -
“What should I call you?” Kenobi asked the next day. Vader recognised it instantly for what it was: a test. A test he would undoubtedly pass which would likely further confuse the youth.
Quietly though, Vader was impressed that Kenobi had the gall to find out where he stood. The simple question echoed of the youth's wisdom. He was intelligent and humble enough to recognise he could be making a mistake and would do his due diligence before he was led blindly to the darkness.
Vader wished he had been so wise.
“Vader,” he replied shortly.
“Not Mast-”
“No,” he snapped, fighting to stop the word creeping under his skin.
“Because I am not a slave?”
Vader froze, caught off guard by that question. Slowly, he twisted so he could look at the youth only to find the boy studying him once again. Vader fought not to give anything else away to the frustratingly observant Padawan but he didn't quite keep the anger from his voice when he replied.
“You are a student.”
There was a pause as Kenobi considered the words. “You implied you wouldn’t make me your apprentice,” he pointed out. There was a touch of accusation in his tone. There was also a touch of guilt.
“No, Young One,” he replied, slowly, carefully. “I said I would not make you a Sith.”
- - -
“Fix?”
Vader looked up from the datapad he had been studying to find his younger self holding out yet another ancient device he had found around the old house.
“Find Ben,” he barked, before dropping his gaze back to the datapad. Ben was the ridiculous nickname that the child had given the padawan after struggling to say Obi-Wan. And because Ben was unbearably patient and kind to the child, he had adopted the name.
He was also the one who encouraged the boy's curiosity, spending hours helping him with the things he found throughout the house. Often it meant Vader was dragged in to help guide them through repairs, but other times Ben was on his own, helping the child to read a book that had caught his interest or search the house for a lock that a key the boy discovered would fit. Thus, this was entirely Kenobi's fault and he could deal with it.
“Ben busy,” the two-year-old replied before scrambling up onto his desk, knocking over a stack of holos as he did. When a leg flailed too close to his helmet, he grabbed the child's ankle and stood so that the boy was hanging upside down in front of him. The child had the gall to giggle before repeating his request. “Help fix.” He held up the device again.
It was an ancient droid processor. And once again Vader found himself faced with the horrible truth that the brat was, in fact, him, because deep down he desperately wanted to help.
But another part of him, the part broken by Palpatine, hated the triviality of it. He had more important things to do. Like save the galaxy from this... brat.
Vader stared down at the boy through his mask, but the boy, as usual, did not cower, in fact, he looked more hopeful than ever.
Vader sighed. “It is a droid processor chip.”
The boy's eyes nearly popped out of his head in his excitement. He held the chip closer to his face, looking at it carefully.
“There is no point in fixing it because we don't have a droid to put it in.”
“Find droid!” the boy declared, twisting, and wriggling until Vader carefully put him down on the desk. Then he launched himself off it and raced away.
Vader groaned, thinking that the next seven years might be a greater trial than the last twenty.
- - -
“You should come to dinner.” Ben said a few evenings later, cutting short Vader’s meditation session.
Vader looked in the direction of his student's voice to find Ben sitting on a nearby rock, watching the sun going down in the distance. He looked at peace, which actually made him rather jealous. He didn't feel at all settled by his time in the Force, nor by the youth's sudden appearance.
While they tended to meditate at the same time, they meditated separately and had done so from the beginning. Ben fell into peace and light like he was coming home while he would drag himself into the shallows of the dark and spend the time fighting to stay out of its depths. He hated it, and he was embarrassed by it, but his broken body needed time in the Force, and he had no right to attempt meditating in the light.
“There is no point. I do not eat,” he responded, finally.
The boy turned to look at him. “There is. Shmi would be more relaxed around you if you weren't so distant,” Ben argued, smoothly sidestepping his mention of eating. All of them, thankfully, seemed to sense that bringing up the suit, or asking about what put him in it would be crossing a dangerous line. “I know it upsets you that she still fears you.”
“I wish you still feared me,” he muttered under his breath, and he had to restrain himself from force-pushing the boy off his rock when Ben rolled his eyes. “Then I would not have to deal with your insolence,” he added.
Ben sent a disappointed glare his way, one that he had been quite familiar with once. Then he turned to leave, but not before he left one last piece of advice. “She will not truly believe she is free until she can trust you.”
As the youth walked away, Vader looked up at the manor, his eyes drawn to the lit dining room windows. It pained him to admit it, but he knew Ben was right.
But how can I earn her trust when I do not trust myself?”
- - -
Vader went, but not until the next night. Ben rolled his eyes again, but Vader could tell he was genuinely pleased. Young Anakin filled the awkward air with excitable, exaggerated stories of his day. And Shmi went from scared stiff, to unsure, to laughing at his and Ben's banter by the end of the night.
When it was time to retire the child made him promise to come again the following night, and the night after that, and he did so knowing he would keep it.
He hated to admit it, but he was glad he had listened to Kenobi's advice.
He wondered where he would be if he had done so a lifetime ago.
- - -
As the weeks turned to months, Vader and his guests settled into a routine that slowly brought them closer.
Ben and he started early, training for a hours before the others awoke. Teaching Ben was not the burden that he knew he had been on his Jedi Master. Ben was clever, calm and competent. Jinn had brought him most of the way already. But Vader wanted him to have that little bit extra that would help him raise Anakin, that would help him win the war.
After breakfast, Ben and he let themselves be ordered around by Shmi or Anakin. His mother was insistent on cleaning up the old place, room by room, and was no longer afraid to tell him he needed to wash windows or dust tables or sweep the floor. It was ridiculous. He knew it was ridiculous because whenever she handed over the pink feather duster young Anakin would snicker and Ben's eyes would light up with glee. But it was harmless, and sometimes when she left, Ben and he would use the Force to bring the room to life, lighting up Anakin's eye's with awe and filling the house with laughter.
If it wasn't jobs for Shmi, it was helping the relentless child with yet another project. Not always, because there were days he couldn't find the patience, but sometimes, when he thought he would learn something new, or when he could simply sit and appreciate the kind way that Ben taught the child or when he knew it would make Shmi smile.
In the afternoons Ben and he would spar or train or argue about the galactic news or debate the meaning of Jedi proverbs, before settling into meditation. Shmi and Anakin spent that time together, cooking or crafting, tinkering or building.
He didn’t know whether it would last, or whether it would change the future. But he was glad he had stolen this time nonetheless.
- - -
“Is Force lightning truly achievable?” Ben asked mid-duel, looking honestly curious.
“Yes,” Vader replied, wondering how the youth could ponder such things while blocking every strike.
“Does it hurt?”
Vader jumped back and swung his lightsaber straight up to signal the end of the duel. If they were going to discuss such things he would not be able to fight.
“It is extremely painful.”
Ben frowned. “Can you defend against it?”
“Jedi who are strong in the force can deflect it, but it takes a lot of energy to do so. Most Jedi use their lightsaber to draw it away from themselves. Lightning is attracted to the weapons.”
Obi-Wan looked doubtfully down at his lightsaber. “The positive charge I suppose. But surely that means you should be able deflect using your lightsaber, shouldn't you?"
“I have seen it done,” he admitted.
Obi-Wan looked thoughtful.
“Would you like to try it?”
Obi-Wan’s head shot up. “You can... Of course, you can.”
Vader waited.
“Well, I am curious.”
Vader sighed, returning his lightsaber to his belt. “I am doing this because I am likely not the only Sith you will ever meet. Not, for the sake of science.”
Ben grinned. “As you say,” he replied cheekily as he brought his lightsaber up and fell into his ready stance.
“Don't say I didn't warn you.”
- - -
Vader thundered through the house to the kitchen, where he knew he would find Shmi. He was furious with himself and with the young man in his arms, and as a result the Dark Side was roiling around him, greedily lapping up his emotion.
When he found his mother happily working some dough, he dropped Ben on the island counter in front of her, making her shriek and the boy groan.
“Again?” Shmi groused, her floured hands quickly moving to pull at the blood- smeared cloth, searching for the wounds underneath.
A part of him was glad that they had reached the point where she would not hold back, but it was currently buried beneath fear and anger. So instead of accepting it, he fought.
“He must learn,” he growled darkly.
“Why must he learn like this?” she snapped.
“Because one day soon, he will be in charge of protecting and training your son!”
“You want him to do this to my Anakin?!” Shmi shouted, horrified, her own anger feeding off his.
“He won’t hurt your boy,” Vader snapped. “He’s Jedi.”
“But you can’t extend him that same courtesy?!”
Vader lifted his hand but before he could do something he would regret, Kenobi stopped him with a feeble Force push that was just strong enough to send him stumbling back. He paused then, not allowing himself to move any closer, but refusing to back away without argument. “Listen closely Shmi Skywalker. This Jedi is all that will stand between your boy and a creature far darker and far crueller than I.”
“You are every bit-
“Shmi,” Obi-Wan rasped, cutting her off. “Please... It’s all right.”
The woman diffused, looking down into blue-grey eyes that still managed to look warm, despite the pain in them.
“He did warn me that it would hurt. I wanted to learn anyway.”
Vader felt calm slowly return to the room, but he could not grasp it. Shmi’s angry words still echoed in his ears feeding the dark anger that he barely managed to keep at bay.
He needed to get out.
After dropping the bacta bandage he had crushed with his fist on Kenobi’s chest, he turned and walked away, struggling to remember a time when he did not feel like a monster both inside and out.
- - -
“Why?”
The question echoed in the grand room he had hidden away in. It had been a ten-day. Ben’s injuries had almost healed and yet, Vader knew exactly what she was asking.
Vader turned away from the window to find Shmi looking at him. He was both shocked and impressed that she did not seem worried about being be alone with him.
“Why must Anakin be trained?”
“Yes,” Shmi breathed.
“He is the Chosen One. The one destined to bring balance to the Force.” Vader replied.
“What does that mean?”
“It means that he is powerful. It means that his choices have impact and consequence, galaxy wide. It means that he will be preyed upon by the darkest of monsters and feared by the brightest of beings,” he told her. “But most importantly, it means that he will one day bring peace and freedom and light to a galaxy ruled by the dark.”
Shmi swallowed. She looked seconds away from tears, but she did not let them fall.
“And Ben?” Shmi prompted boldly. “Why is he the one to train my son?”
Vader’s own answer saddened him. The youth had never been part of his original plan, but he realised now that he never would have been successful without him.
He did not reply. Instead he returned to looking out the window, down to where at the two boys in question were busy building some sort of structure in a large tree. The child radiated excitement as he issued a flurry of instructions to Ben and the little droid he had found (and corralled them all into helping him fix). Ben, as usual, was humouring him, frivolously lifted planks of wood up with the Force where the little droid joined them. The light danced around them happily. They were brothers already.
‘Because I owe him a second chance,’ he thought, but did not say, asking instead, “Would you choose someone else?”
- - -
“Are you going to come to dinner tonight?” Shmi asked when she caught him heading up to his room a couple of weeks later. He had not joined them since he almost lost control. In fact he had been avoiding all of them for the past month.
“No,” he replied shortly, hoping that would be the end of it. Unfortunately it was not.
“Why not?” She asked, even though she damn well knew.
“I am dangerous,” he replied shortly.
“You have been dangerous since the beginning and yet it did not stop you from coming to dinner before. Nor did it stop you from training Obi-Wan or teaching Anakin. They miss you.”
“I am a danger to you.”
Shmi sighed. “If you are speaking of our argument, I think you'll find that there were extenuating circumstances.”
“I gave in to my rage. I yelled at you. I nearly...”
“You were frightened,” Shmi pointed out calmly. “You don't like to see Ben hurt. Especially not by your hand.”
Vader stared at her, confronted by the truth of her words, but she did not give him time to pull them apart, or to debate them.
“I don't either,” she continued. “It made me angry. We argued. And yes, maybe you came close to crossing a line. And yes, you need to manage your anger better. But you are a fool if you think cutting yourself off from everyone will help you do that,” she told him.
“I- “
“If you aren't on time, I will send Anakin to keep you company for the evening,” she told him. “He is very chatty today… and he seems to have found another droid.”
She left without another word and Vader watched her go, wondering how her trust in him could make him question his own. And how the biggest problem in the universe was further hindered by those who did not seek help when they needed it.
- - -
“You know, you can join me,” Ben said as he meditated quietly on the balcony. He looked so at peace that Vader was surprised by his awareness. “Force knows it would be better than you standing in the shadows staring at me like some predator.”
“I came to apologise for my absence, not join your meditation.”
“You are forgiven, and the offer still stands.”
Vader blinked in surprise. Maybe he should have expected Ben's easy forgiveness, but he hadn't. He hadn't ever considered... He shook his head, cutting off the thought. He couldn't go back, only forward. “The light would not welcome me.”
Kenobi opened his eyes. “That’s ridiculous. Unlike the dark, the light forgives, Lord Vader. It would welcome you back.”
“Once you start down a dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny,” Vader intoned, his ire rising.
Kenobi raised an eyebrow. “But in the dark, you can find yourself... and a little more knowledge may light your way.”
Vader’s frowned and silently ceded the point. It was happening more and more often, surprising him. It was not as if he had invested any time into training Ben into the negotiator his Jedi Master had been.
“Why don’t you try. If you feel unwelcome, then you can leave. It won’t hurt you.”
Vader hushed the voice in his head that barked at him there is no try. He had already made his decision. He'd been struggling in the dark on his own since he returned, it was time to do something different. So he stood and walked across the room, then sat cross-legged in front of Kenobi, his knees awkwardly bumping the younger man’s.
Ben smiled at him, then closed his eyes, letting himself fall back into the light with complete faith that it would catch him.
Vader hesitated, but then he felt Ben – Obi-Wan – tug at his Force Signature, and he leaped.
It was like coming home.
And Vader knew in that moment, everything had changed.
- - -
As months turned into years, the routines shifted and changed but his guests remained.
Shmi took over running the household and forced the boys out of the house, dragging them around Naboo. She unofficially adopted Obi-Wan and eventually Vader too, and she found happiness in ensuring theirs.
Young Anakin continued to use the house as a playground and workshop combined, often leaving things in parts after dismantling them for curiosities sake. He learned the Force through play. He learned the light through love, and he learned peace from Ben.
And Ben, he learned what it meant to have a family who loved him.
Vader changed too. At Ben's insistence, he continued to make friends with the light. And eventually, it taught him the peace to teach Ben without fear, and the patience to fix everything with young Anakin, and the control that made him feel worthy of trust.
He was sure now that he had done what was right. He was pleased with the improvements he had made, with what he had managed to change.
And, for the second time since his fall, he let himself hope.
- - -
Late one night, Vader sat at the desk in the library watching as Ben attempted to continue reading his book with his younger self curled up in his arms, fast asleep.
Ben was twenty-three and he was everything Vader wished his Master had been. If they had been at the Temple, if things were different, he would have put Ben forward for his trials because he was more than ready to ascend to Knight. He was wise and brave and kind, and he cared about the state of the galaxy. He also loved without inhibition or guilt, which was something Vader’s Obi-Wan had never been allowed... and it made all the difference.
Especially for young Anakin.
He was Ben's brother, and the young man loved him.
Vader ignored the spike of pain that came with that thought. It was not as sharp as it used to be, having healed during his time training Ben. But it was still there along with the memory of being left to burn. He could not afford to forget them because that time was coming, and he needed to pass on his story.
It would not be long until the Trade Federation attacked Naboo and as much as he wanted to protect the boys from it, he knew the Force would draw them in somehow. They were destined for great things.
Vader swallowed roughly and looked away from Kenobi before whispering, “There is a Sith in the Senate,” to the room.
“I beg your pardon,” Ben replied.
Vader sighed; he was tired. The cool weather made his body ache and, although he would not admit it, the young man had almost surpassed his skill as a duellist – and they had sparred at length that day. “There is a Sith in the Senate,” he repeated, just a little louder.
Ben frowned. “A Sith, like you?”
Vader frowned behind his mask. “No.” He replied, ceding the point which seemed to spike Ben's interest because he gently closed the book he was reading and placed it on the table next to him.
“He is a monster,” Vader finished. He turned and looked out the window at the rain that pelted against it.
“He was your Master?” Ben guessed, and when Vader looked back at him, he found blue-grey eyes that sparkled with sympathy.
“He was,” Vader agreed.
“He was the one that- “
“No, it was my Jedi Master who put me in this suit!” he snarled, his anger filling the room.
It could not touch Ben though, not with both his and Anakin’s light protecting him. He looked pensive, and a little concerned, but it had been a long time since Vader’s anger brought fear to Ben's heart.
“He is dangerous then, to Anakin?”
“He plans to take over, to plunge the galaxy into an era of darkness, and he will succeed.”
“Well, that's a rather pessimistic prediction.”
“I’ve lived it.”
Ben blinked. “Oh,” he breathed as years of tiny puzzle pieces came together before his eyes. “You are Anakin.”
He did not need to reply.
“I thought maybe you had seen... but this makes more sense...” he trailed off when he realised something else.
“Oh, Anakin. I’m sorry,” Ben said quietly, gazing into his mask. The young man's sorrow poured into the Force and there was a knowing in his eyes that caused Vader's old heart to clench painfully even as pride and thanks and even love swelled in its depths.
Vader swallowed it all back because it was too light for him, but not before he let it chase away his angry replies. The past few years had taught him that his Jedi Master was not entirely to blame for his decent into darkness and the Ben that sat across from him deserved to know that.
“As am I,” he whispered and he was startled by a wave of peace that swept over him as he let go of the final threads of hate towards the man who raised him, and perhaps the man across from him as well.
Ben gave him a pained smile and he returned it, despite knowing the man could not see it.
“You are not him,” he added, because it suddenly became apparent that the young man was quietly punishing himself for Vader’s Master’s decisions.
Ben looked at the boy who was still sleeping in his arms. “What if I am something worse.”
Vader sighed. “His actions were a result of my own, Ben. He was never a monster. In fact, he was kind and brave and wise like you. And he cared as much as you do. I just didn’t see it.”
“Careful Lord Vader, that makes you sound as though you like me.”
Vader found himself grinning under his mask.
“Perhaps you are growing on me, Knight Kenobi.”
- - -
Over the next two years Vader told them everything. He told them about his time as a Jedi, about his fall, and about his endless years as a Sith.
He told them about his Mother and C3PO, about Padme and Jinn, about his Obi-Wan, R2, Rex and Cody, Snips and Luke and Leia.
He told them of what Palpatine was capable of, of his many plans, of how they could stop him.
And he helped them get started.
- - -
“Vader!” Shmi yelled after him, making him wince. “Vader! Did you teach my seven-year-old son to fly a star fighter?”
He tried to speed up, to get away, but he had been with the child all day, so he was already aching from over-exertion. He now understood why his Obi-Wan constantly asked him to slow down in the early years of his training. The child was a force of nature.
Sighing he stopped and turned, preparing himself to face his mother's wrath.
“Well,” she snapped, her hands on her hips.
“I suppose you wouldn't believe me if I said it was Ben's idea?”
- - -
“What's that?” Anakin asked as he used the Force to pull to him the datapad that Ben had just put down on the coffee table.
“Really, Anakin?” Ben sighed, making Vader smile behind his mask. He shifted in his seat so he could better see the boy's face, needing to make sure this went well.
Young Anakin was too captured by what he was reading to respond to Ben’s chiding. The boy's brow furrowed as he made his way down the page. “Is this a job application?” he asked finally, looking between Ben and him.
“Almost. It's an expression of interest in joining the Naboo Royal Guard.”
Anakin's eyebrows shot up. “Why didn't you write Jedi in the former employment part then? I mean, not that what you've done is bad, but they’d take you in a heartbeat if you...”
Relief rushed through Vader, followed closely by pride. It drowned out the argument the boys were having, sending him drifting into a place of peace.
If this young Anakin could let go of Ben Kenobi without blinking, then he, and the greater galaxy, could breathe a little easier.
- - -
Vader froze as Ben's lightsaber came to a stop under his chin. It was not the first time the young man had beaten him, but it was the first time he had beaten him easily. And they both knew something was not right.
“Are you...?” Ben prompted as he deactivated his lightsaber, clearly concerned.
“I’m just feeling my age, Ben,” Vader replied although he knew it was more than that. His time was running out.
Ben was not convinced, but he let it go when Anakin raced up with his congratulations and dramatic play-by-plays. “So, wizard! Can't wait until I get a lightsaber,” he sighed happily.
“I suppose,” Ben started, glancing in between him and the child, “It’s time we made you a training ‘saber...”
Vader smiled at the look of shock on young Anakin's face and chuckled when it dissolved into happiness. The boy flung himself at Ben, capturing him in a hug, as he chanted excited thankyous.
Vader reached out and squeezed Ben's shoulder. He was proud and pleased and grateful because this was a much better way to begin.
- - -
“You want me to go for a swim.” Ben echoed, looking out at the murky water distastefully before letting his gaze settle back on Vader’s mask.
“Yes. You'll need this.” Vader said, pushing a rebreather into Ben's hand.
Ben lifted his eyebrows. “Will I?”
“You’ll know what you're looking for when you get there.”
Ben gave him a pointed look. “You are channelling Qui-Gon at his best right now.”
Vader grinned behind his mask. “If you are opposed to his teaching style, I could always try Palpatine's.”
“I think I'd prefer mine, if you wouldn't mind,” Ben countered making him laugh.
“Humour me,” he shot back in his best impression of his old Jedi Master, making Ben scoff before he walked out into the water and disappeared beneath the surface.
Vader smiled before a wave of dizziness had him grabbing for the nearest tree. He sighed and a slowly sat down. A small rest and he would be back on his feet.
Looking around he realised it was the same clearing that he had brought Ben that first day. Only, the darkness that had once defiled it, that whispered pretty promises, was gone.
He smiled behind his mask, pleased that he, and his mother, and young Anakin and Ben, had found enough light to both light the way, and to chase the dark away.
- - -
Young Anakin's laughter echoed through the house, forcing Vader out of his armchair. He was becoming more and more tired as they approached the day of the invasion, his body slowly shutting down.
He found Ben at the top of stairs, still wearing his Naboo Royal Guard uniform. He was leaning against the balustrade, looking down at the house's grand foyer with a smile playing on his lips.
Vader followed his gaze to find Jar Jar Binks, the ridiculous Gungan that Ben had made friends with during his time in the lake, playing some sort of ball game with Anakin. No, not a ball game-
“Is that...”
“About a cup full of water encased in some sort of Force bubble. Yes,” Ben confirmed with a smile. “Jar Jar is desperate to pop it. It's apparently the equivalent of a game that Gungan children play underwater.”
Vader watched as Jar Jar clumsily launched himself after the bubble and could not hold back the chuckle when the creature went flailing to the ground. Sadly, it quickly turned into a coughing fit. He felt Ben gently use the Force to help him catch his breath.
“You need to rest,” Ben said quietly.
“No. I- I would like to stay a little longer,” he whispered, allowing himself another look at the boy and the Gungan. He knew his decline was becoming more and more obvious. And he knew that Ben had known for as long as he had that his health was failing... But he still desperately wanted to pretend. He wanted to protect Ben for one more day.
“And you call me stubborn,” Ben sighed, but he moved closer, letting Vader lean on him once more.
- - -
Vader was not surprised when the medical droid informed him that he only had hours left to live. He had done what he came to do and more. There was no reason for him to remain any longer. The siege of Naboo was only days away... It was time that young Anakin took his place.
Ben had not left for Palace that day. The young man could sense it, his life-force slowly dwindling away. He, like the droid, like Vader, knew it would not be long.
“Take off my mask.”
Ben frowned, “But, Anakin.”
“Please. I would like to see you with my own eyes...”
Ben nodded sadly, then moved and carefully lifted off the mask.
Their eyes met, and Ben gently placed his fingers on Vader’s cheek – the first human contact he had had in years. The warmth and care that radiated from it made tears appear in his eyes.
“You are special, Ben, the best of the Jedi, the greatest of men. Don't- Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.”
Ben closed his eyes and place his forehead on his, like he and his Obi-Wan had done when he was young. “You aren't so terrible either,” he whispered, making Vader let out a raspy chuckle.
“I am no longer the monster I was. Thanks to Luke... Thanks to you.”
His chest heaved as he struggled for breath, and he felt Ben slowly move back to give him space.
“Protect him, Ben,” he croaked. “Teach him, guide him, anchor him.” He rasped. “Make sure he knows that I am not his destiny. Make certain that he knows he can be better.”
“He knows already,” a small voice said, and the nine-year old's face appeared above Ben's shoulder. He smiled sadly, tears budding in the corners of eyes.
“I-" His throat worked but the words would no longer come.
“Be brave, my son.” Shmi said softly, appearing on the other side of the bed, taking his gloved hand in hers. “I love you.”
He felt his own tears on his cheeks as he closed his eyes.
“We all do,” Anakin added. “And we'll do better, promise.”
He felt fingers rest on his cheek again. “You are my brother, Anakin Skywalker, and I will always love you.”
Unable to stop his fall into the light, he let his reply echo back through the Force, watching in awe as it travelled across the galaxy. Among the thousands of stars and planets he saw Yoda's face twist with confusion and watched Palpatine's brow furrow. He witnessed Qui-Gon stopping dead in his tracks, and he met Mace's eye. He felt the splash as Adi dropped her tea, and followed the shudder down Maul's spine. He shared a giggle with a tiny Togruta and saw his younger self close his eyes. And he saw Ben smile.
And I you, Obi-Wan Kenobi.