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English
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Part 6 of finding equal ground
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2020-06-26
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3,771
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1/1
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An Ache Deeper Than This

Summary:

shikamaru is feeling old and achy on the way back from a mission, and neji gives him a massage.

Notes:

the world is very stressful now so i'm writing things that warm my heart. ;-; i appreciate you guys for reading what i write, it makes me happy and inspires me and if you ever wanna say hi you can visit me at tumblr as mintyfics.

i have a big story im writing but i've taken time away from that to work on little one shots, and this is one of those inspired by the following prompts:

“Your hands are so warm.” + “Don’t stop stroking my hair…”

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

 

“We’ll make a camp here for tonight,” Neji said, looking up to the sky and the setting sun. Twenty-five minutes till sundown, and two more days left till their team reached The Village Hidden in the Leaves. 

 

Two days till home, after over two weeks of mission. Shikamaru could have sighed in relief, but he didn’t -- though he was relieved, he felt like he’d been whittling down his stamina a lot more these days, and he didn’t want to sound too happy at the prospect of rest. He’d save his sighs and complaining for slightly bigger things than settling down for the night.

 

Hinata stopped a couple of branches behind them, and a quick glance showed that she was surveying their area. Her eyes relaxed, with a little smile shot toward Shikamaru. “No one’s following, and there’s no one flanking.”

 

Shikamaru smiled back — he never had to be concerned about their surroundings, not when he was with two Hyuugas. 

 

Lee looked into the same sky, the same direction, and patted Neji on the back. “That is a good call, Neji! The night is swiftly on its way, and we are in a good location to set up camp! We have done a great deal of traveling!”

 

Neji laughed, looking down to the grass below his branch. “Indeed, Lee. I’ll leave the tents for you.”

 

“Leave it to me! It will be ready in half an hour!”

 

Lee dropped to the forest floor, followed by Kiba and Akamaru. Neji and Shikamaru shared a bemused glance. Of this promise, they had no doubt it would be fulfilled, and fulfilled fast.

 

~

 

When Shikamaru wants to complain about pains, aches, and other physical issues that seem to follow him around like a persistent pet, he has to remind himself to not call it a factor of old age. That just wasn’t possible. He knew it, and if he were to say it, it would make him sound more whiny than he cared to be these days.

 

It’s just the way of a ninja -- who cares if he’s 21, he’s been an active shinobi since he was 12. He’s lived through war, too many S-rank missions to count, and plays an active role fulfilling academy duties such as dodging hyperactive students with weapons. He’s a seasoned shinobi, and he has the scars (and joints) to prove it.

 

You’re not old, you’re a ninja.

 

That still doesn’t make the aches and tightness in his shoulder any better -- knowing the cause doesn’t prevent it from happening. Short of retiring, which he didn’t see coming any time soon, this was going to be his life. He was going to have to get used to it.

 

Maybe he can grumble. A little bit.

 

“Nara,” came the calming voice to pull him from his thoughts.

 

Shikamaru looked up from the log he was backed against, eyes focusing in on the Hyuuga in front of him. The sky blended into his long, restrained hair, and the calm fire lit behind him brought a glow to his white robes. His hands were in his pockets, and from his flat expression, it wouldn’t be easy to assess his demeanor.

 

Shikamaru smiled, which in turn brought one from Neji.

 

“Nara? You haven’t called me that in a while.”

 

“You haven’t complained in a while, either, so I figured I’d check in.”

 

“You’re such a good squad leader. Thanks, captain.”

 

Neji’s eyes shifted to the side, a self satisfied smile replacing the gentle one before. “Don’t call me that.”

 

Shikamaru laughed, propping his arms over the back of the log. He liked this. He missed this. He sees Neji often enough, but by misfortunes way, they often take on different missions. This shared mission, it would seem, is a blessing. Even if it was more trouble than it was worth, but it was also an incredible peace of mind to be side-by-side with him and not just waiting to be reunited.

 

That was more common than not, too.

 

Neji sat down on the same log Shikamaru rested against, just to the left of him. His robes were sullied with the regular wear and tear of a mission, and due to the nature of their combatants in the land of earth, the edges of his pants were singed and blackened. 

 

Shikamaru reached out and rolled the material between his fingers, watching parts of it break off. “Did you consider that maybe there’s nothing to complain about?”

 

Neji looked down to him, then sighed. “This mission is long, got derailed, took longer than anticipated, and no one has slept in a bed in two weeks. I’d consider that… troublesome.”

 

Shikamaru chuckled, dropping the hem of his pant leg. His eyes turned toward the fire, where Lee, Kiba, and Hinata roasted veggies. “Hmm. You have a point.”

 

Neji rested a hand on Shikamaru’s shoulder, and Shikamaru tried not to flinch. He thought he must have done a good job, since Neji didn’t comment on it. He just squeezed, gazing out to their friends at the far side of camp.

 

“When we’re home, it’s possible we might have to take on another S-rank. Kakashi already told me that he got word of missionaries out in the Mist, and he doesn’t want to send genin or chunin.”

 

Shikamaru couldn’t help it this time, he had to sigh - he had to, in some way, let out his frustrations, and nothing was appropriate except for the soft tufts of tension that need to be released from his body.

 

This life was clearly not made with him in mind -- he could do it, but it was a pain.

 

“What a drag.”

 

Neji squeezed again. “Indeed.”

 

Man, my shoulder hurts -- what the fuck did I do to it?

 

Kiba and Akamaru were wiped too, because Lee was animatedly talking to him and Kiba was only nodding in agreement. Hinata, with a bowl of food in hand, was more engaged in the conversation, smiling and nodding along as Lee continues his story.

 

They were far enough that the two of them couldn’t hear any details, just tones, just exclamations. It was sort of heart-warming, if Shikamaru ponders on it. Walking away from a mission that took blood and sweat and tears (Lee’s, admittedly, but tears nonetheless), only to be sitting with your friends and teammates in a tranquil evening of rest.

 

It’s nice, seeing everyone you love alive.

 

“So, which shoulder is it?”

 

Neji’s hand was still resting on him, atop his jacket, and Shikamaru was again removed from his thoughts. 

 

“Hmm? What?”

 

Neji shot an annoyed glance downward. “Where are you hurting? And don’t tell me you’re not, you’ve been favoring your left arm and side all day.”

 

Ah , to think a Hyuuga wouldn’t see… that Neji wouldn’t know. Should’a figured.

 

“It’s not that bad.”

 

“But it hurts?”

 

Shikamaru laughed, looking up to Neji and trying to be annoyed and finding that he couldn’t. Neji could frustrate him, call him on his shit, or generally be a pain to deal with on missions, but Shikamaru couldn’t find it in himself to be annoyed. “... A little bit, I guess.”

 

“Take off your jacket,” Neji said immediately, like all he needed was a reason. 

 

Shikamaru obliged, and he removed his flak jacked with all the care in the world. Sitting down, having a chance for his body to relax and not move, had set his muscles into a calm state that did not take kindly to being interrupted.

 

The sharp pains running down his back, his scapula, and his neck were renewed. He gasped when his jacket was freed from his shoulders. “Damn it,” he sighed, setting it off to the side.

 

“I thought you said it wasn’t that bad?”

 

Shikamaru shook his head. “It isn’t,” he insisted, but he didn’t try to sound convincing.

 

It was Neji’s turn to sigh. In a quick and quiet motion, he stood, hitching a leg around the log so that he could sit behind Shikamaru. Shikamaru sat on the ground, a long leg on either side of him.

 

Shikamaru immediately tensed when he realized what Neji had in mind, and looked over his shoulder with an expression he hoped wasn’t too surprised. “ Neji ,” he said, not quite a whisper, but through tense lips. “They’re…”

 

Neji took it all in amusement. “Kiba and Hinata are nearly asleep, and there’s no force in the world that will make Lee observant enough to notice.”

 

His hands came up to lay gently across Shikamaru’s shoulders, no force behind them, just intent and awaiting action. Shikamaru wanted it in his heart, his muscles begged for a massage that would bring an end to their ache, but the type of person he is has never made him feel relaxed in the face of public displays of affection...

 

They’ve been together for three years, and everyone knows this, and he will still feel himself grow stiff at the thought of being open or vulnerable in public. His ears still would warm if he’s caught in the middle of a kiss…

 

It’s a damn curse.

 

Neji’s hands, all soft angles and long digits, rose up the sides of his shoulder, encouraged to do so with the silence Shikamaru granted him, rather than complaints and arguments. They climbed just to the length of skin between his shoulder and his neck. He leaned down, head dipping to the right, his lips ghosting the shell of Shikamaru’s ear. “Can I let down your hair?”

 

Shikamaru’s face felt warm -- too warm, too fast. He nodded, eyes forward in anticipation. It was dumb, but he’s just... never been the type to be vulnerable in public -- and never on a mission. But he nodded all the same, because Neji’s hands were convincing in any circumstance, and maybe this little log, far away from camp, was private enough.

 

The sounds from the campfire kept steady, a gentle scene of friendly stories and muffled laughter. 

 

“Thank you,” Neji whispered, and he quickly did away with the band in Shikamaru’s hair. He combed through the mass, making sure to not catch in any knots so it could lay flat. 

 

“That’s nice,” Shikamaru sighed, surrendering to him despite their circumstance.

 

Neji carded through his hair, gently and with great care. He was slow, and the feeling was like a calm shore lapped at by little waves. And when he brought his fingertips to trace long paths down his head, Shikamaru definitely didn’t mind at all.

 

“Don’t stop…”

 

He pushed the lengths to drape over Shikamaru’s right shoulder, and Shikamaru opened his eyes, not having remembered closing them at all. Neji began pressing the tips of his fingers into the knots in his shoulders. “How about after a massage?”

 

Ah, yes. That’s what he was supposed to be doing. “Oh… yeah, yeah.”

 

Neji chuckled, and the sound was like a hit to the gut. “I’m sorry I distracted you,” and before Shikamaru was able to disagree, he pressed his thumbs into tender muscles. “Now, relax.”

 

“Mmm,” Shikamaru winced, thumbs grazing over inflamed muscle and painful nerves.

 

“Tell me where.”

 

“Right where you are is perfect ,” and this was the way it was, he was already sinking back into Neji’s hands, eyes fluttering shut again with each passing second.

 

Neji’s hands were familiar, gentle and rough in a perfect harmony that was known only to Shikamaru. He’d never experienced a place that felt safer than within the hold of these hands, and this embrace. 

 

His shoulders fell, by inches, but in magnitude it was like the tensions of a bridge held taut on ropes too worn finally giving away. He didn’t even know how bad they felt, not until he could move them without also being in discomfort. The tenderness remained, but that, too, was lessening with every squeeze.

 

“Your muscles are so tense…” and he pushed a thumb deep into his scapula, a tight roll of knots lighting up under his thumb.

 

Shikamaru whimpered, head tilting in favor of his left, and tried to unscrew his eyes as the pain passed. “I know… well, I know now , but I didn’t realize I was this --”

 

A press, and a loud pop between his back ribs.

 

“-- hnn -- tense…”

 

“You should stretch with me at home.”

 

“We’ve tried that…”

 

“If you try with me, I’ll make sure you don’t corner me again.”

 

Shikamaru smirked, the memory bringing a spark of heat to his stomach. Ghost pains of kneeling behind Neji on his bare knees came back like a blaze, but he didn’t hate it. “Suit yourself.”

 

Neji chuckled again.

 

When he gets past the stupid part of his brain that insists he’s doing something he shouldn’t, and publicly doing it despite it being easily viewed, Shikamaru admits that it’s not that bad. Granted, their teammates were still a distant thought that didn’t pay them any attention, but still -- he enjoyed the fact that he was able to get away from the pain in his body.

 

Neji’s hands are like home, coaxing and pulling him into comfort. He opens his eyes just a sliver, peering out from his sleepiness and tranquility. The lights are little points, blurry beads and circles. 

 

The ground is hard, he wants fresh clothes, and there’s a creaky forest around them, but with Neji…

 

I don’t need anything else.

 

“Neji…” He whispered, leaning toward his thigh. He beckons with a finger, “C’mere.”

 

Neji’s hair fell, flowing down into their space, and it was like a curtain, a place that existed between the two of them; another place so familiar, his bones would recognize it no matter what. Neji eyed him from the side, quiet, attentive and awaiting. Shikamaru raised his arm to wrap around Neji’s neck, not to tug or pull or alter in any way except to say stay .

 

“I owe you.”

 

Neji shook his head, but kept his silence with a knowing smile.

 

“I do.”

 

He kissed Neji’s cheek, ‘cause actions are better than words.

 

Neji’s hands start to knead into the conjunction of his shoulder, still under loose restraint of Shikamaru’s arm. A shooting pain issued from each contact point-- little avalanches, little aches releasing themselves from the flesh like tumbling boulders. It hurt, but then the pain gave way to better feelings, fewer pains.

 

“Your hands… are so warm,” it was like he couldn’t stop the words. His voice was hoarse and too relaxed for his own liking, since it wasn’t in his house or his bed, and those too tumbled like an avalanche.

 

Neji leaned into the skin he was just kneading, lips open in a kiss that only skims the surface -- like what a breath is to a shout, a droplet to a swift river.

 

But then he starts to suck, and pool blood into the spot Shikamaru knows will be covered by his jacket. It brings heat to his face as he closes his eyes and leans back into the body behind him. His legs twist, just a bit, and he doesn’t have quite enough will power to not let the tension build in him -- his hips shift, his feet doing all they can not to dig.

 

Shikamaru grabs at both calves beside him, squeezing.

 

“Don’t do this to me … they’re over there…”

 

Neji’s lips dance further into his shoulder, and a finger tugs his shirt down over the muscled expanse to expose more skin. “I’m watching, they aren’t looking…”

 

“Hinata…

 

“She never uses it unless she needs to…”

 

“Please… you’re gonna… make me too excited…”

 

“Hmm,” he laughed, little ripples dancing on his skin. “You look nice like this though…”

 

Another wet kiss, another shudder down his spine and straight to his crotch -- 

 

“You’re a fucking menace ,” Shikamaru hisses.

 

Neji laughs and the vibration carries across his skin, and Shikamaru starts to think that this entire thing was a ploy just to mess with him. But then he retreats, slowly and with a small parting kiss to the skin now blooming with a bruise.

 

His hands return to their original work, kneading away the tension. “Suit yourself.”

 

The hot coil in Shikamaru’s stomach sits in wait, and the hidden breath stuck in his chest came out in a nervous exhale. His heart wasn’t racing but it still surged, and now it too was trying to reconcile returning to normal -- so annoyingly fast did it happen, already bringing him to a state of being needy and tired and yearning.

 

Shikamaru rolled his head back, laying in Neji’s lap. “I fucking hate you.”

 

“I’m just trying to relax you, it’s not my fault you’re so reactive.”

 

They fell into a peaceful silence after a quiet hum of acknowledgment -- before so long, the deep-rooted pain in Shikamaru started to ease, soothed by the heat of Neji’s chakra as he focused on chakra points. 

 

The sound of silence also came from camp, where talking had slowed and the fire started to sizzle. It was in embers, and the group surrounding it was finally quieting down for a restful night.

 

Watching the camp, and enjoying the sense of family that surrounded him, Shikamaru crossed his right hand across his body to rest it on Neji’s. “I wonder if this is what life is gonna look like.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“For years, we’re going to be going on missions, and we’re all going to be waiting for the rest of us to come back. I just wonder…” And he couldn’t take his eyes off the rest of them, nor rip his hand away from Neji.

 

“You’re very… sentimental today,” Neji said, leaning into his ear and using his spare hand to run his fingers through his hair again. “Are you okay?”

 

Shikamaru nodded, ignoring the goosebumps Neji’s breath brought to him. “Yeah, I’m good. Just feeling old.”

 

Neji laughed. “I’m not going to address that since I’m older than you, but if you want my opinion -- yes, I think we’ll be like this.” And then a small kiss, pressed to his cheek. “I think there’s very little in this world that we haven’t dealt with.”

 

“I guess you’re right.”

 

And because Neji knows what’s at the heart of the issue, the part that’s really scary, his voice dropped and Shikamaru was certain he was the only one who could hear him. “And I’ll keep coming back to you, and waiting for you to come back to me.”

 

Shikamaru’s grip grew stronger, whiter, like all the pain in his body suddenly relocated into his heart and he had to hold on to something to not get lost in it.

 

“You better,” Shikamaru said, voice swallowed up in his intention. He didn’t realize how heavy this was.

 

“And you’ll come back, too, right?”

 

Shikamaru knows he can’t even promise it, yet he feels it in his gut. “Yes,” he responded immediately, forcefully, and his grip became stronger to emphasize.

 

The shape of Neji’s breath was a smile, and then a hum. “That’s all I want to hear.”

 

Shikamaru leaned into him, and couldn’t help but relish in all the ways Neji was attending to him, giving him all of his attention and assurance. The hand carding gently through his hair was grounding, just like the feeling strong thighs encasing him was comforting, and the deep familiarity of his hair and the floral scent that always clung to it...

 

“And,” Neji continued, still as quiet as a whisper. “I can’t wait to get you home.”

 

“Gods damn it, Neji,” Shikamaru laughed, shaking his head against the other, ignoring the stoking of the fiery heat within his stomach. “Thank you for being serious for a minute, I guess.”

 

“I’m always serious.”

 

“Even when you switch topics like that?”

 

“Especially when I switch topics to this ,” and tugged his hair just a little bit, just enough.

 

“Hmm, I guess you can show me,” and he lifts his hand from Neji’s to turn him, by the chin, in his direction, lining up their lips. “Since you wanna be difficult, I --”

 

“HEY!”

 

Shikamaru dropped his hands, dropped his eyes, dropped his very intentions with every rapid degree of heat that graced his cheeks. 

 

He looked toward camp in a snap of the neck, feelings stupid for his wide eyes and kick-started heart. Kiba is waving toward them, a clear grin across his face as the others behind him are shuffling to clean the fire.

 

“LOVEBIRDS! WE’RE CALLING IT A NIGHT!”

 

Why is he so loud?

 

Neji’s body shook with little tremors of laughter, and he knew that Shikamaru would have sounded too annoyed to answer. So he called out. “Sounds good, I’ll be on watch first!”

 

Shikamaru knows what he’s doing. He does it all the time.

 

Kiba flashed them both a grin, but something about it wasn’t pure and it made Shikamaru want to dig a hole and live in it permanently.

 

“Sounds good!”

 

“I’ll wake you in two hours.”

 

“Yeah, yeah,” he said, turning his back to help put out the fire. But before he did, he shot a look to Shikamaru with a smirk. “Just keep it down, all right? Akamaru’s a light sleeper.”

 

And then Shikamaru definitely wanted to be swallowed up by the ground, hitai-ate and all.

 

Normally, Neji would be over there, helping, but there was little to do and what there was to be done, was very quick. Lee and Kiba relocated to their tents after their foods were put back in bags, and Hinata to her own tent after she doused the fire with dirt. Neji and Shikamaru stayed as they were, in the few minutes they took to watch their teammates, and it was almost awkward if it weren’t for their friends lack of subtlety. 

 

They let them have their moment, no questions asked. Shikamaru felt his heart swell again, filled with the unspoken and unconditional love he has with this family. It was a pleasant ache.



Just a few minutes, and suddenly the dark nature was rich and comfortable and almost absolute around them. A familiar sight in the many years of camping out on missions, the consistent scenery and scents as known to him as the back of his hand. The woods were calm and quiet, and they were alone.

 

“So,” Neji started, hands slowed but strengthened, intention growing from his fingertips in every movement. “Not going to bed?”

 

Shikamaru relished in the darkness, in the kisses trailing down his neck yet again.

 

He smiled into the soft pecks trailing down his neck, this time, and didn’t even pretend to stop them. “It’s a little too early to call it a night, don’t you think?”

 

“See, you’re not getting old.”

 

“I’ll show you how alive I am,” and Shikamaru kept that promise.

Notes:

thank you for reading <3 also, i like prompts a lot but sometimes i don't know where to find them, so if you have any for shikaneji then i'd be glad to give it a shot <3

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