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“Hey, Hotch, can I talk to you for a second?” Spencer asked, peeking in the doorway of Hotch’s office as he gently rapped his knuckles against the frame. Hotch looked up from the paperwork after stamping the unsub’s file with DECEASED. He inwardly shuddered at the fact that their unsubs so often died that they had a whole stamp specific for it.
“Yeah, Reid. What’s up?” he replied, closing the file and putting in his DONE basket. Reid shuffled into the room and too a seat opposite his boss, hands wringing together anxiously.
“I um, I was just reminded of something after the last case-” Reid started. Hotch cut him off, holding up a hand.
“I know, Reid. We’re all reeling from his departure. I just want to go home for the weekend and forget about it,” he told the other with a heavy sigh. His eyes closed in exhaustion, but not physical, more mental/emotional. The last few days had been stressful and watching the unsub kill himself had just about done Hotch in for a while. Not to mention, he wasn’t sure what his standings with Hayley were just yet. He pinched the bridge of his nose and didn’t notice that the mention of their former team member had caused the young doctor to go pale.
“I…uh, Hotch, that’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about,” Reid stuttered. Hotch’s hand fell away from his face and he blinked his eyes open. Of all things the kid wanted to talk about, it had to be this ? Couldn’t he understand that the wound was still fresh and nobody wanted to talk about it?
“Reid, I don’t really want to talk about Gideon right now. Can it wait for Monday?” Hotch inquired, not bothering to hide the exasperation in his voice. But Reid was persistent, unfortunately.
“But, Hotch, really, I-”
“Spencer, drop it,” Hotch commanded, stopping Reid’s words short. The younger man’s face held such a hurt look that Hotch was starting to regret snapping at him. Gideon was like a father to the young doctor and it was probably hitting him the worst out of everyone. “Reid, I’m sorry. I-” This time, it was Reid who cut him off.
“Gideon was my emergency contact!” he blurted, then seemingly almost immediately regretted saying it, as if he was worried Hotch would be angry with him.
“What?” Hotch was thoroughly taken aback by the statement. Gideon had been the one to process Spencer’s paperwork, but Hotch had looked it over in curiosity. How had he not known that Gideon was Spencer’s emergency contact?
“I know that it’s probably against the rules to have your boss be your emergency contact, but I didn’t have any information on my dad and my mother wasn’t in a place to be my emergency contact. Plus, I didn’t want her to be worried in case something did happen to me, and I had just moved to Virginia and I didn’t know anyone here or really back home and Gideon offered to be my emergency contact and he pulled a few strings and…and…” Spencer stopped, tears flowing down his face and choking up his words. Hotch’s heart clenched, he didn’t like seeing his team hurt and he especially didn’t like being the cause of their hurt. He came around the desk and pulled Spencer’s chair out with ease; the man really needed to eat more, turning Spencer to face him and crouching so he could meet the doctor’s eyes.
“Reid, I’m sorry I snapped at you. I’ve been stressed lately, but that’s not an excuse to yell at you. You’re not in trouble,” Hotch tried, using his best soothing voice. A mixture of one he’d use to calm down Jack and one he’d use to talk to an emotional family. Reid sniffed, meeting his eyes for just a second.
“Really?” the doctor asked, sniffling as he wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.
“Really,” Hotch assured. “I understand the circumstances that caused Gideon to do that. It’s not technically against regulations to have your boss listed as your emergency contact. I’ll pull the paperwork and make an official request to change the contact.” Now that Gideon’s gone didn’t come out.
“To who?” Reid asked, voice hoarse from crying.
“Me. I’m aware that it might be against protocol, but I don’t care about that. What I do care about is you, Reid. If you get hurt, on or off the clock, I want to be the first to know about it. And heaven forbid anything happens to you, I’ll find the best way to notify your mother about it,” Hotch informed. There was a short pause before Reid threw himself into Hotch’s arms, wrapping his own around the man’s shoulders tightly. Hotch faltered for a moment before hugging back. He smoothed down the man’s hair gently in a way he hoped was soothing. After a little while, Spencer pulled back, wiping his eyes again and smiling at his unit chief.
“Thank you,” he whispered, not trusting his voice not to crack if he spoke aloud.
“Of course, Spencer,” Hotch replied. He then did something he never did in a situation like this: he took a chance. He placed a soft kiss to Reid’s hair. The other didn’t seem bothered by it, so Hotch just buried his face in the doctor’s long hair and rocked them back and forth, making a note not only to pull Reid’s file and change the emergency contact, but to also do his best to make sure nothing ever happened to this kid again. To his kid again.