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Vorbretton Soiree
The brunette had hair down to waist and a smile and laugh that tugged at Ivan’s memory; she walked towards them and they introduced themselves to her but with a low laugh she tossed back her hair and said, “Forgive me if I don’t introduce myself. It’s been a long while. I want to see if you remember.”
She had the smoothed out accent of someone who no longer lived on Barrayar. Ivan heard galactic; she was definitely Barrayaran but Ivan couldn’t recall her; matching her playful manner he said, “Sounds like this could be dangerous for me.”
“Ivan Xav has a good memory,” Tej said, tucking her hand into his arm and grinning. “I know he’ll remember.”
“Ivan Xav,” The woman said with another laugh. “Xav is a clue. Oh dear, Lady Alys is throwing daggers at me. She definitely remembers although I applaud the way it was all kept under wraps. We should probably do this quickly before she throws me out. If I say Estelle’s – ah yes there it is.” And she laughed louder this time.
Ivan was stunned so much so he felt he’d been frozen to the floor. “Good God. Katrina?” Her face was less defined that it had been then but it was still that same smiling round face. How could he forget the women who had exploded open a world he never stopped exploring.
She nodded and turned to Tej. “We knew each other very briefly many years ago,” she said. She looked at Ivan and gave him the once over with her eyes, and made a small noise in her throat. “I see you really grew into yourself. We’ll speak later but Ivan, you’re not angry with me, are you? About what happened?”
“What? Of course not. We were kids.”
She looked relieved then looking behind him she grew genuinely anxious, muttered a quick sorry and moved away to the other side of the room.
Tej squeezed his arm. “What was that about and why-“
“I can’t believe she’s here,” Lady Alys said, her eyes spiking Katrina’s back. “What were the Vorbrettens thinking inviting her?”
“What did she do?” Tej asked ignoring all Ivan’s don’t go there signals.
Ivan stared hard at his mother, and Lady Alys cleared her throat. “We agreed never to speak of it.” She nodded and moved away.
Tej gave Ivan a pleading look. “Oh come on. You have to tell me.”
“Gave m’word I wouldn’t. Matter of honour. Do you want another drink?”
“Ivan Xav Vorpatril you cannot leave it like this. What happened?”
Many years ago
It wasn’t by choice that Ivan spent many summers helping at Estelle’s. But for much of his childhood there were always two to three weeks every summer when Ivan had no activity and Alys wasn’t going to let him stay home playing vid-games. Alys trusted the staff at Estelle’s, Ivan knew them well too and this way Ivan didn’t have Miles to lead him astray. Miles was currently in hospital again so he couldn’t lead him into more trouble. She hoped.
So Ivan would be at Estelle’s working in the old stock room, sitting with some of the ladies and serving them tea; it was good training for a young High Vor boy like Ivan. Polish his social skills. But that ended up being the problem. Ivan wasn’t as young as Alys thought.
Ivan carried the bolt of cloth back to the stock room and decided to wait there. If he went back out, he’d have to sit with one of the dragons after serving them tea. They all wanted to sit with him and talk about Mama or tell him he was a very handsome boy but not as handsome as his father and my hadn’t he grown since last summer. The dragons kept touching his chest and shoulders and telling him he was tall as if he didn’t know.
Ivan jumped up and sat on one of the boxes and looked lovingly at the new wristcom his mother had given him. Ivan knew it was out of guilt because she had to be at ImpRes all the time and she’d missed his last swimming tournament when she’d promised she’d come. He’d won too. The door opened and that brown haired girl walked in. He’d only seen her once but Ivan could hear her laughing all the time –she laughed a lot. He liked that and how round she was; she looked round and soft all over – not just her breasts. Ivan’s mouth went desert dry and he didn’t say anything.
“Oh!” she said. Ivan liked the way she said that. “I didn’t know anyone was in here. Are you taking a break?”
Ivan nodded. She gave him nice smile as she moved closer. Ivan liked the way she smelled. It was different to how the dragons and his mother smelled. Ivan sniffed.
“Yes, it is dusty in here, isn’t it?” she asked and Ivan nodded. He’d found he got into less trouble if he didn’t open his mouth and smiled, and he didn’t want her to go away.
“Are you new? I don’t remember seeing you here before?” This girl was never in the private parlours he was asked to go in and Ivan didn’t know how to explain what his job was or the embarrassment that his Mama was making him serve tea to old ladies.
Ivan licked his lips. “Two weeks,” Ivan said. “Been working here two weeks.”
She looked startled. “You sound – oh, are you one of the scholarship students? Is that why you’re working here?” Then she blushed. “I beg your pardon I shouldn’t have said that. It’s just your accent – you ah – have a very nice voice. How rude of me. My name is Katrina.”
“I’m Xav,” Ivan said. He’d decided to tell people he was called Xav in the hope that it would catch on since there a million Ivans everywhere. No one would call him that though and everyone at Estelle’s laughed at him and patted his arm when he’d tell him that was his name.
“I came in here for some quiet,” she whispered moving closer and Ivan tried not to smell her again. “Grandmother is driving me loco. You would think she was getting married not me.”
“You’re getting married?” Ivan asked stunned. “But you’re not old.”
She laughed at that. “I’m nearly eighteen. It’s because I’m not tall like you. Everyone thinks I’m younger. It’s very annoying. My mama got married at eighteen too. Grandmother was fifteen but I think that’s too young. How old are you?” she asked. She asked it in that way adults did as if what you said next would depend on their answer.
“I’m nearly sixteen,” Ivan lied. He wasn’t going to tell her he was thirteen, besides it was close to fourteen which was nearly sixteen – that’s what Miles always said and everyone thought Ivan was older anyway.
“I thought so,” she said. The way she looked at him made his skin heat up. “Do you have a sweetheart?” she asked.
Ivan shook his head. “We broke up, it was a disaster,” Ivan said repeating verbatim what he’d heard one of the older students say about a girl. It sounded dead gown-up.
“Oh, you poor thing,” she said and touched his hair. Ivan froze at first then moved closer. He was a head taller than her.
“Relationships are hard, especially at our age,” she said. Ivan nodded. She sighed. “I know I’m old enough to get married but there’s so much I don’t know and no matter how many things you can find on the edu-net,” her neck and cheeks reddened and her eyes glinted, “it’s not like the real thing? Do you understand? And just because of one little mistake that was perfectly harmless they’re watching me like a hawk. Do you see?” Ivan just kept nodding. This girl talked and talked and although she stopped stroking his hair she rested her head against Ivan’s shoulder. She smelled even better close up and she was warm. And he could see down her dress and her breasts bounced when she talked.
“Katrina!” A shrill voice called from outside the room. “Where is that blasted girl?” Katrina jumped off the box as if she’d sat on a fire.
She giggled. “I better go. Will you be in here tomorrow? Same time? There’s something I want to ask you.” And she giggled again.
Ivan nodded.
“You’re so understanding, Xav.”
Katrina was the most amazing girl Ivan had ever met. Ivan told her his sweethearts hadn’t liked kissing and so he was out of practice – it wasn’t completely a lie – he tried to kiss a girl with his tongue and she’d pushed him off a bench and Ivan had hurt his arm. But Katrina wanted to practice before she got married so they practiced a lot and used their tongues. She didn’t push him off any of the boxes and after the third day she said he was doing it so well he could touch her breasts but then he stopped because she said his squeezing wasn’t as nice as she thought it would be and she asked him to squeeze her thighs instead which made her make funny, squealy noises and she said she liked that a lot more. She made those same noises when he said he liked her long hair down and said he couldn’t understand why girls tied their hair up. It was only the truth but she liked that a lot. She hurt his neck with some bites so he had to hide that under his collar and he let her lick his neck because she liked it too and well, there wasn’t anything Ivan didn’t like either.
It was the best time at Estelle’s he’d ever had! Better that the triple iced fondants they served with tea. He was sad she was getting married but Katrina said he was very mature for understanding and that as a true gentleman he must be discreet and this was their secret. Ivan’s family had all told him to be wary of adults who asked children to keep secrets but Ivan decided that this didn’t fit – one, because he wasn’t a child anymore and two Katrina was amazing.
On the fourth day they met up again where she said they were going to do something different, something even better.
“This is my last day here. Grandmother’s getting suspicious when I disappear and I still haven’t – I’ve never seen a real one and I need to. I’ll show you something of mine and you can show me yours.”
Ivan was confused until she unbuttoned her blouse and Ivan saw her breasts for real. They were the most amazing, beautiful things he’d ever seen with white lace and – breasts. Half-naked. Huge breasts. Amazing. Girls were amazing.
“Now you, Xav and then you can touch them.”
He tried to unbutton his tunic but his sweaty hands kept slipping and she giggled in a breathy way. “No, your - you know – it’s got bigger again too.” She pointed at his crotch. “I know what that means. Can I see it? Or are you shy? If you’re shy we can find another way of meeting again.”
“No, you can see it.” Ivan felt like he was flying that something else important was about to happen. Something amazing, that finally -
“Katrina!” A woman bellowed entering the room. “Oh, Katrina. Not again!”
**
Alys greeted Cordelia in the day parlour, making sure none of the staff were present. She had the tea tray ready and something stronger but Cordelia waved it all away.
“How’s the girl?” Alys asked. Cordelia had taken over handling the fall out after Alys reluctantly admitted she was in too violent a frame of mind to deal with the girl she believed was attempting to corrupt her innocent boy.
Cordelia sighed and sat down. “She refuses to believe that Ivan is only thirteen years old. She kept apologising although she seemed as impressed with Ivan as she was sorry.”
“Of course he’s thirteen! She should’ve been able to tell.”
Cordelia raised an eyebrow. “That Ivan was lying? How? She’s only seventeen and not very mature either. Alys,” Cordelia leaned forward, “have you not noticed that Ivan has sprouted? In all directions! He’s not a boy anymore! Not physically anyway. I can only assume they had very little conversation for her to think he was older. Don’t give me that look, Alys. You can’t have it both ways.”
“Ivan is a very mature thirteen year old,” Alys said defensively. Cordelia snorted. “Sometimes,” Alys added and sat next to her. “What were they thinking?”
“You know very well that thinking had nothing to do this but I got something coherent out of that girl eventually. God she can talk. She wanted to see a real penis before she got married. See it, touch it, hold it. I think she would’ve recorded it if she’d had the chance.”
Alys was stunned into silence for a while. She opened and closed her mouth.
“Yes. I had a long chat with her. Apparently she was the reason they had to get rid of a certain Armsman – for his sake. She’s only marrying because she desperately wants to have sex – that’s the order she says she wants to do things – marriage first,” Cordelia said dryly. “She just wanted to educate herself more but her family have got her under lock and key so she took this opportunity. But all she’s worried about is if this ruins her chances with her fiancé. Barrayarans,” Cordelia muttered. “I may’ve lost my temper with her grandmother when I left.”
“Good. Only we know about this and the Dowager won’t say anything. Now I know more about Katrina they wouldn’t dare – but as it is this won’t rebound back on Aral,” she added knowing that was one of Cordelia’s fears. Even after all these years Cordelia was still navigating the Vor shoals but she knew the Dowagers held a power of their own and how petty they could be. “They’ll be more concerned about what I’m going to do,” Alys added.
“I gave Katrina access to some helpful Betan vids,” Cordelia added.
Alys sighed. “Of course you did.”
“I have some for parents too on handling adolescence and –“
“I don’t need any help, Cordelia.”
Cordelia smiled, in that way as if she knew exactly what Alys was thinking. “Has Ivan said anything yet?” Cordelia asked.
“No. He’s still sulking.”
Ivan was upset. How dare they accuse him of hurting Katrina. He said he wouldn’t say anything until Katrina told her side of it. He was sure she wouldn’t lie. At least Uncle Aral was too busy to interrogate him too. Ivan was all set to run away if that was going to happen. It was still embarrassing. They came into his bedroom and Ivan stayed sat at his desk as Aunt Cordelia and Mama sat on his bed.
“You lied to Katrina,” Aunt Cordelia said bluntly. “You told her you were nearly sixteen. You may not think it makes a lot of difference but that’s not for you to judge. Do you understand that? You never lie about your age like that. You’re lucky that Katrina’s being very understanding about it.”
Ivan grinned in relief. “I knew she wouldn’t be mad. She believed I was older.”
“It doesn’t matter how old people think you are,” Mama snapped. “You don’t lie.”
Ivan nodded although he still didn’t see what the harm was especially as Katrina didn’t mind.
“Did Katrina hurt you?” Aunt Cordelia asked in a soft voice which startled Ivan.
“No! Her kisses hurt my neck,” he amended, “but she was practicing and it got better.” Aunt Cordelia and Mama started to cough and Ivan wondered if he should offer them water as Mama always said it was what you should do but he was still mad at them so he didn’t. He quite liked this little rebellion.
“Katrina said it was all her idea and she’s sorry if she hurt you in any way.”
“She didn’t hurt me,” Ivan said hurriedly. “She’s very nice and we like each other.” And he was so close to touching his first breast but he thought it was best not say that out loud.
“Well then you’ll keep this episode to yourself for Katrina’s sake. That includes not telling anyone including Miles,” Mama said. Damn. He really wanted to tell Miles. “You will give your word that you won’t mention this to anyone.” Ivan gave his word and his aunt said again if he wanted to talk about anything to them that was alright and no one would be angry with him. Ivan just nodded. What was there to talk about?
“She’s still getting married?” Ivan asked. Ivan had wondered if she would. She could’ve been his first proper girlfriend. Ivan turned away from Aunt Cordelia’s penetrating stare. Sometimes he thought she could read minds.
“Yes, Ivan. She’s very happy to be getting married.”
“You know you should’ve said something or stopped it,” Mama said, “you knew it was wrong or you two wouldn’t have been hiding. You’re too young, Ivan.”
Ivan caught Aunt Cordelia do that flinch thing and look at Mama in a way Mama looked at him when she didn’t like what he said.
“Katrina said it was alright,” Ivan said defensively, his face went hot as he stared at his Mama, “and she’s an adult and you said I had to do everything they asked at Estelle’s with no backchat.” Ivan folded his arms. “And that’s what I did.”
That 'cheeky' remark, as Aunt Cordelia called it, meant she made him watch lots of boring talking vids on sexual boundaries and ones on reproduction he knew about anyway. Aunt Cordelia had a Betan vid for everything! He even heard Mama say she may watch some of Aunt’s vids after all.