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Merlin cursed as he dropped his fork, the knocking at the door startling him and making his body jump. He sighed as he stood to go answer the door, longingly looking at his Pad Thai as he walked toward the sound of the continued knocking.
“Coming!” he yelled, just a few feet from the door. The person was pounding, and if Merlin didn’t know better, it sounded like an emergency. He picked up his pace as walked the last few steps and quickly opened the door.
The landlord’s son, AKA the fittest bloke in the building, stood in the doorway and was staring back at him. Merlin had taken a liking to him shortly after moving in, not that they’d spoken too much. Arthur was always around and involved. He was there to report issues to and he would go door to door on major holidays like New Years Day to wish all of his father’s tenants his family’s best.
He looked nothing like himself today. His tie was undone and so were the top two buttons on his shirt. His hair was facing in every direction and there were bags under his eyes. Streaks too, if Merlin looked closely. Almost like Arthur had been crying.
Today wasn’t a major holiday. Today was October 11th. The only other time that Arthur had come by unannounced had been when he and Will had forgotten to—
“We’ve paid our rent for this month. I still have the email receipt if you’d like to see it.” Merlin provided.
Arthur winced. “No, that’s not why I’m here.” His voice sounded like gravel. He looked behind Merlin before resuming eye contact. “I’d like to come in if that’s ok.”
“Sure.” Merlin hoped his voice didn’t betray him as he spoke the word. He had never seen Arthur come in to check out the state of the place before. His room was decent, but he looked over at Will’s door, wondering what the room on the other side looked like at the moment. The only thing he knew for certain that he could find on the other side were Will’s speakers based on the sound of Death Cab for Cutie blaring from his room.
Looking back at Arthur he remembered his manners. “Would you like a cup of tea? I just made a kettle to each my lunch with.”
“Perfect.” Arthur said.
Merlin trotted over to the kitchen and futzed with three mugs, making a cup for himself and Arthur, and leaving the third mug for Will to use when he came out from his room. He handed Arthur’s tea to him and looked at him expectantly.
Arthur winced again. “We should sit down.”
“Okay.” Merlin said slowly as he led Arthur to his settee. The whole encounter just felt so odd. Sad even. He wasn’t sure exactly why but it felt like he was getting broken up with. He continued staring at Arthur as he tried to guess the reason for his visit. Were they being evicted? Was the building being sold? Had Arthur finally come to offer him sex?
Arthur’s mouth opened and closed a few times but no words came out. He looked over at Will’s door with a look of pain before he actually found himself speaking.
“Look Merlin, I don’t mean to be rude, but this conversation would be easier if your roommate weren’t here.”
Merlin’s brows furrowed as he heard the landlord’s son say that. That didn’t sound good.
“Is this about Will then? Has he done something wrong?” Merlin questioned. “If this is about when he peed in the vase in front of the lift last month, he was pissed when it happened. He’s cleaned it completely and he’s sworn never to do it again.”
A tiny smirk appeared on his face for a moment. “I didn’t know about that.”
He shook his head and his face grew solemn again as he continued with the matter at hand.
“Please, I beg of you Merlin. I would very much appreciate if it were just you and me here.”
Merlin normally would have called Arthur an ass. Coming into an apartment that he and Will paid the rent for, and asking one of them to leave? It sounded illegal. But something was wrong. He could see it on Arthur, and he could hear it in his voice.
Merlin nodded and walked over to Will’s room before knocking. It took a couple of times before the music stopped and the door opened enough for Will’s head to come protruding out of it.
“What’s up, M?”
“Nothing. It’s just…It’s just I need you to leave.”
Will jerked his head back and looked Merlin up and down. This was bizarre of Merlin to ask him to do this and even more unlike Merlin to request it. He looked beyond Merlin to see if Merlin had broken anything he was trying to hide or if Merlin had spilled his Pad Thai all over the floor. What he found instead was the landlord’s piece of shite he called a son.
“You!” he bellowed, making Merlin flinch from their proximity. “How dare you?” He looked back to his roommate while pointing to the blonde intruder on their settee. “Did he put you up to this?”
Merlin ran a hand over his face and tried again, avoiding his roommate’s valid questions. “Will please, I’m begging you. Go to Freya’s. You can take the rest of the takeaway with you. There’s a lot left.” He walked over to the bag on the coffee table and held it up before wiggling his eyebrows, “enough for two.”
Will smirked at that and took a step towards the bag, knowing he could score brownie points if he took the short walk over to his girlfriend’s flat with it. He paused midway though, before turning back to Arthur.
“We’ve paid our rent this time around” he said with an edge. “And Merlin’s done nothing wrong.”
Arthur rolled his eyes before responding, “I know. Merlin’s our best tenant. I’m just not sure why he chooses to live with such a louse.”
Will’s eyes became slits and as his hands curled up into fists. “You sodding fuck, I’ll—“
He didn’t finish as Merlin and the takeaway bag appeared in front of him and he lost his view of Arthur.
Merlin closed his eyes before speaking. “Please Will, just go. I’ll bake you cookies every day for a week.”
Will peered over his roommate’s shoulder to glare at Arthur one more time for good measure. “Two” he stated simply as he grabbed the bag from Merlin’s hand and headed for the door. He paused in front of the doorframe, ready to get one last word in for Arthur, but Merlin turned the knob and gave him a shove into the hallway. The door closed before he could verbally assault his roommate for being such a traitor.
On the other side of the door, inside the flat, Merlin turned back to his guest and hurried to the chair across the coffee table from where Arthur was sat.
“So, Arthur, how can I help you?”
Arthur’s eyes went wide immediately and Merlin could audibly hear his flimsy intake of breath. He licked his lips. “It’s National Coming Out Day.”
Merlin continued to stare at Arthur. What did he mean? Did Arthur think he needed to do this? Wish the LBGTQ people in his life well today? Had someone come out to Arthur? Was he in the stages of processing that information?
Arthur looked at Merlin’s face and saw that his intended meaning wasn’t clicking. “I’m gay” he sputtered, rushing to get the words out and be done with them. His breathing grew even more uneasy after saying it out loud.
Merlin let out a sigh of relief as he registered why Arthur’s visit had been so tense. But then he grinned welcomingly. “That’s good I suppose, Arthur. Good on you for telling me. Am I the first person you’ve told? I think it’s great.”
The blonde looked up, startled. “Is it? Great that I’m gay, I mean. Sometimes I don’t know.” There was a beat of silence for a moment before he added, “Oh, and yes. You’re the first person I’ve told. I wasn’t sure who to go to, and you’ve hosted pride parties before the parade for the past two years running. I knew because of the noise coming from your flat. You seemed like the perfect person to go to.” He took a steadying breath. It was unusual for Arthur to ramble. “Is it ok that I came to you?” His blue eyes beaded at Merlin, filled with uncertainty.
Merlin’s heart sank before Arthur even finished his monologue. It had been a long time since he’d come out himself but he knew exactly what Arthur was feeling. What this felt like. He reached out, wanting to take hold one of Arthur’s hands as he comforted him. “Can I?” he asked.
Arthur only nodded in response.
Merlin took Arthur’s fingers in his own before speaking again. “I know it’s incredibly hard to see right now, but believe me it gets easier Arthur. Better than easier. It gets good. It gets happy.” He smiled encouragingly at the man before him.
Arthur nodded again but he still wasn’t smiling.
“I’m thrilled you came to me. It’s an honor that you’ve chosen to share this bit of yourself with me. We don’t know each other all that well, but I’d like to get to know you Arthur. As real friends. In the future you can feel free to come here to talk to about anything.”
Merlin could see the cogs turning in Arthur’s head as his eyes darted between his hands, the coffee table, and the floor.
“I’m gonna tell Morgana. Maybe Leon too.” Merlin had met Morgana before. She didn’t come around quite as often as her brother, but she was still forced into it sometimes.
“That’s amazing, Arthur. Just them?” Merlin paused before realizing that he might sound judgmental. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that. You should be in complete control Arthur. You shouldn’t come out to anyone you don’t want to and only when you’re ready. Coming out to two people is huge.”
Arthur’s eyes continued to dart nervously, but a smile slowly appeared on his face. “Three if I count you.”
Merlin smiled back. “That’s true. And three is bloody fantastic.”
The smile on Arthur’s face disappeared just as quickly as it came. “Father too. Not today. I’m not sure when. But I’d like to tell him. I want him to know.” Arthur’s voice faded to a whisper, to the point where Merlin was unsure if he was meant to hear. “I think I want everyone to know.”
Merlin quickly stood up and moved to the settee across from his seat, to move next to Arthur, before enveloping the broader man’s shoulders in a hug. He knew it was a bit familiar for a tenant and his landlord (technically the landlord’s son), but Arthur needed it. Desperately needed it. And Arthur was tightly hugging him back.
“It’ll be worth it Arthur. You’ll know it was when you have your first kiss with a man and when you stroke your fingers through his five o’clock shadow. Or when you hold your boyfriend’s hand. Or when you’re on a date, and he starts talking about philosophy but you somehow still stay interested because you’re so into the man sitting across from you that anything he says sounds like music.” Merlin giggled and shook his head as he pulled himself out of his own head. During the last example, he’d started talking about a specific date he’d been on with a hot solicitor named David. But he knew he communicated his point when he focused back on Arthur and saw Arthur’s eyes no longer darting around, but trained on Merlin. “My point is, Arthur, that right now, it’s like your surrounded by fog. You’re confused and emotional, and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s normal. But it’s also preventing you from seeing five feet in front of you. You can’t see where the road will take you or how great it’s going to feel. But you have to trust me that it’s wonderful. I promise you, you will be so loved.”
Merlin might not have ended with that, had another person come to his door. But this was Arthur. Merlin had admired him too many times not to feel like he knew him. Arthur was the first person in the building to help new tenants move in. He’d gotten up without (much) complaint at 3:30 a.m. when Merlin’s bathroom sink had decided to become a fountain in the middle of the night. Merlin already loved Arthur, and it didn’t matter whether it was Merlin who was going to teach Arthur how to experience true love. But Merlin knew without a doubt that Arthur would experience true love. He was too perfect not to.
Arthur’s eyes had welled up during Merlin’s speech. Normally he might’ve called it a bit cheesy or cliché, but he was too emotional to dismiss what Merlin was telling him. He was lost and Merlin’s every word was a map, showing him that it would be ok. He would make it through this. When Merlin finished on the word ‘love,’ he felt his stomach rip into a sob.
Arthur pulled Merlin’s body further into his own as he cried. “I don’t know what to do, Merlin. I don’t know what to do.”
“We’ll get through this together Arthur. You can call Morgana. You can give her my address and she can come here. If you’re comfortable with that, that is. I don’t have to say anything, but I can be here. Only if that would make you more comfortable.”
Arthur nodded again. “Really?”
“Of course.”
Over the course of the next five months, Arthur had started spending a lot more time at Merlin’s, much to Will’s chagrin. For the most part, Will was only reprieved of his appalling presence when other tenants needed him or he went back to his own apartment. The second instance happened very infrequently.
Six months in, Arthur finally got the nerve to ask Merlin out. Merlin didn’t think twice before saying yes.