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Adam's head hasn't stopped spinning ever since he'd come off the stage, still not fully processing what had happened and how he found the courage to actually do something like that. He didn't regret anything though, the feeling of Eric's smaller, overheated hand in his was enough of a reward for making a fool of himself in front of the whole school.
It was hard to admit even in his own mind, but when he interrupted the musical he was completely petrified, imagining every horrible scenario that could possibly occur, mainly the one where Eric would reject him or worse, tell him that it was too late and that he could go fuck himself. There was also one where his father would stop him and kick him out before he got to Eric, but thankfully the man wasn't anywhere to be seen. And then despite everything, after all the years that Adam had been hurting and insulting him, Eric took his hand. Just like that, in front of the students and teachers, and parents, and he smiled at him, a real smile full of honest delight. Adam doubted if Eric could ever not be honest, not when they were alone and not when everybody was watching. He was so unafraid of being himself it was almost painful, because it could end up with someone using it against him very easily; Adam quickly decided he would try to protect him the best he could, now that they were probably going to be in a relationship.
Relationship with Eric, holy shit.
"You are thinking so hard I could literally hear it from the stage."
Adam turned around abruptly, surprised that he wasn't alone in the hallway anymore, but immediately relaxed when he realised that the person who'd joined him was Eric. He hesitated before walking towards the other boy, still unsure if the previous events weren't just some kind of a very vivid dream. He took a deep breath and muttered:
"Do you really want to hold my hand? I will understand if it was too much, I..."
His eyes widened in shock when Eric grabbed the front of his jacket and pulled him into a desperate kiss, effectively silencing him. It was pretty similar to their previous kisses - they were all rather sudden and heated, but that one felt much better somehow.
Eric's long arms wrapped around his waist tightly, pressing their bodies closer together, and Adam couldn't stop himself from gasping against his mouth, causing their tounges to brush against one another. It was hot and overwhelming, perfect, but they were still in school, so he stepped back after one last soft brush of lips.
"I thought about this all the time when I was in military school," he spoke gingerly. Eric laughed loudly, reaching out and taking his hand, just like earlier on stage.
"I can't believe you are actually admitting that, weren't you supposed to be tough and only think about serving the country or something?"
"Come on, I literally caught two dudes wanking each other off one day," Adam rolled his eyes, squeezing his hand back gently. "But otherwise it was pretty boring, waving a gun around all day long."
"What you showed me at the rubbish pit was quite impressive though, you know, with the bat," Eric grinned widely, but turned serious after a moment. "My family is probably looking for me, are you fine with meeting them? You obviously don't have to, I could..."
Adam leaned down and kissed him quickly, cutting him off the same way Eric had cut him off earlier.
"I'm fine with that, really."
Eric furrowed his eyebrows and looked at him for a few seconds before smiling softly, clearly amused.
"Try not to look too intimidating, Mr Tough Guy, my sisters might get scared and run away."
They walked towards the gym's entry holding hands, and for the first time in years Adam didn't give a fuck about what anyone thought.
***
Eric's family seemed to like Adam a lot, even though he was sure they had already met that French guy from school Eric had been dating earlier, so he must have looked awful in comparison. But hell, he got invited to dinner, which was something that has literally never happened to him before. They also didn't comment on them holding hands, which Adam's father would have surely done, so he instantly felt pretty comfortable and welcome around them, unlike with his own parents.
When he came back home to his mother talking to someone on the phone and not acknowledging his presence, he only lasted half an hour of listening to loud music in his room before deciding to go and try to get Eric to sneak out with him. Their quiet walks and glass-battering sessions quickly became Adam's favourite time of the week if he was being honest, and he was truly proud of coming up with the idea to throw gravel at Eric's window a few days after he'd returned home. They didn't hang out every night because they had to sleep sometimes after all, but if it was possible, Adam would definitely sit with Eric until sunrise every day of the week. He also found out that words generally came much easier in the dark, when the other boy couldn't see his face clearly and notice how nervous he really was, so even though they often spent time in peaceful silence, sometimes Adam gathered the courage to tell Eric what he was feeling.
The walk to Eric's house only took about ten minutes which Adam was thankful for, because it was quite cold for a late September evening. He bent down and picked up a handful of gravel and small pebbles from the driveway, before aiming and throwing them precisely at Eric's bedroom window. He saw a light being switched on and then a tall silhouette appeared behind the curtain, waving for him to wait next to the gate.
Five minutes later Eric walked out through the back door, dressed in an obnoxiously colorful tracksuit with some sort of butterfly inwrought on one leg. He looked a bit sleepy and he had some toothpaste on his cheek, which for some reason made Adam's heart skip a beat.
"Did I wake you up?" he asked in a low voice as they stood watching each other for a moment. "You have toothpaste on you cheek," he added hesitantly.
Eric shook his head, shivering slightly.
"You didn't, but my sisters are asleep so I turned the light off. I think I need to go back and grab a coat though, it's too cold for my smoking hot body," he laughed, wrapping his arms around himself. 'I'll be right back."
Adam quickly caught his wrist and furrowed his eyebrows when he saw Eric flinch.
"You don't have to, I can give you my jacket," he muttered, taking it off and wrapping around the shorter boy's shoulders. Eric seemed surprised, but smiled when he was putting it on, the sleeves so long that they covered half of his hands. They began walking in the direction of the rubbish pit in silence, the only sound around them being the occasional chirping of birds and rustling of leaves. Adam didn't mind the lack of conversation, but he was bothered by Eric's previous reaction so he cleared his throat and spoke:
"I was wondering, um... When I touched your wrist you looked pretty scared," he paused, turning his head to watch Eric's expression; it hasn't really changed, but he clearly wasn't comfortable either. "Why? Did you think I was going to hurt you?" he asked quietly, hoping he wasn't coming off as intrusive. Fuck, this relationship had only started a few hours earlier, and he was already freaking out about it possibly ending.
They reached the rubbish pit and took their usual sits next to each other, but Eric still didn't say a word, so Adam forced himself to ask what he was worried about the most.
"Are you afraid of me?"
This time Eric responded, looking visibly uncertain:
"Alright, I have to admit my first reaction was to move away, but Adam..." he paused, turning his head so their eyes finally met. "You know it's hard for me to trust you after how you treated me, I'm sorry, I want to be with you, but..."
"Hey, breathe," Adam mumbled, standing up and then crouching in front of Eric instead, hands carefully placed on his boney knees. "So um... You don't want to end this?"
"Come on, we've only started dating like three hours ago, you idiot, of course I don't," the other boy huffed, reaching down to brush his thumb across Adam's lips. "I think I should tell you about something though," he hesitated, sighing shakily.
Adam nodded. He decided to stay in the same position despite his thigh muscles burning, thinking it might make speaking a bit easier for Eric.
"Well, this happened on my birthday, I was supposed to see this movie with Otis, uh... "Hedwig and the Angry Inch", it's pretty iconic," Eric chuckled nervously, biting the inside of his cheek. "But he stood me up because of some clinic stuff and I took he bus on my own, dressed as the main character. So like, uh, as a girl. The costume was actually fabulous, but let's say not everyone saw it that way."
Adam felt his hands gripping Eric's knees tighter, suspecting what had happened next.
"When I was walking back those two guys in a car pulled up, and when they saw that I was a guy in a costume they got pretty mad. One of them beat me up quite badly and I couldn't even go home because my dad would freak out," Eric laughed quietly, but without any real humour, which was awfully unlike him. "So I called Jean and she picked me up. I tried to forget about this and go on with my life, but for some reason I couldn't, you've surely seen me get suspended. I don't know, sometimes I'm just... so scared that this will happen again, if I wear the wrong thing or act the wrong way. I want to be in a relationship with you, but I have to ask you to take things rather slow."
Adam let out a breath he didn't even realise he was holding and swallowed loudly. He remembered the day Eric came to school dressed in regular jeans and a sweatshirt, with a bruise on his cheek. Fucking hell, he insulted him that day, shoved him against the wall.
"I made it worse, didn't I?" he asked, standing up and shaking his head. "Shit, I had no idea, I..."
Eric stood up too, grabbing his arm and forcing him to stay still.
"You've made my life difficult for a long time, but I believe you changed. I want to believe it."
They watched each other in silence for a few moments, before Adam cautiously stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Eric, pressing their chests together. He felt him tense up for a second before he relaxed completely, leaning his forehead against Adam's and returning the hug.
The air around them was so cold that Eric's breath created a puff of white steam when he sighed, and it made Adam want to kiss him just to see if his lips were also cold, but he stopped himself. If they were supposed to take things slow, he would let Eric take the lead.
"I want you to trust me," he muttered, lifting one hand to stroke the back of Eric's neck. "I'm sorry."
They stayed in the same position for a while, breathing against each other's mouths and relying on the simple, comforting touch. Eventually, Eric pulled back slightly and tilted his head into the direction of the road. He extended his hand and Adam took it, the corners of his lips lifting up a bit at the way Eric's fingers immediately curled around his.
Their way back was quiet as usual, but when they stopped in front of Adam's house Eric leaned over and whispered:
"Seriously, what have you done to Adam? I think they swapped you with someone else in military school, you are actually acting like a true romantic and that's almost disturbing."
Adam looked at him, totally dumbstruck, until Eric burst out laughing.
"I can't believe you fell for that, I'm just kidding. I honestly really like it, the whole jacket thing was very manly, you know," he winked and squeezed Adam's hand one last time before letting go. "I'm gonna give it back to you now, though."
The taller boy quickly shook his head.
"You should keep it."
Eric raised his eyebrows and grinned, tugging the sleeves over his hands.
"I was kind of counting on that."
He stepped closer and kissed Adam, moving his lips deliberately slowly.
Adam's breath caught in his throat for a moment, because it was the most gentle and real kiss he has ever shared with anyone, and it was something he had been waiting for since he first saw Eric after returning home. Now that it was actually happening it felt better than anything he'd experienced before, so he returned the kiss as passionately as he could. His hands gripped his own jacket on Eric's shoulders tightly, feeling like his skin's been set on fire.
"Are you sure you want that?" he panted when their lips parted. "How slow do you want to take things?"
Eric kissed him again softly, lips moving to Adam's cheek as he caught his breath.
"Kissing is definitely fine," he muttered, reaching into his pocket. "Shit, I forgot my phone, I have to go back soon."
Adam nodded, pulling him into a quick hug before whispering:
"See you tomorrow?"
Eric flicked him on the nose and laughed.
"Sure, and, um... thank you for everything. I haven't really told anyone about this before."
They smiled at each other before Eric turned to leave. Adam watched his back until he disappeared in the dark, suddenly realising that he's been smiling like an idiot since they kissed. He sneaked into the house after making sure the light in his mother's room was switched off, and threw himself on his bed without bothering to undress. He still couldn't believe Eric actually trusted him enough to get into a relationship, but he was going to do everything to make him happy.
He had Eric's smile in his mind as he drifted off, and he was absolutely certain it was going to be the best year of his life.
