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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    "Ilya had loved him through his worst moments. Ilya had helped him find a therapist when he’d collapsed on the floor of their hotel bathroom after losing a particularly brutal game, scratching at his chest. Ilya had held him, even when Shane yelled at him because there was panic crawling under his skin and he felt as though it might claw its way out. Ilya had told him it was okay; that it didn’t make him a bad player to resent the spotlight sometimes, that it didn’t make him a bad teammate to hate the team when they were too loud and too drunk and too physical, that it didn’t make him a bad person to need space to breathe. Ilya saved him.

    And look what you give him in return. You’re a shitty husband, Shane Hollander.

    You don’t deserve his last name."

     

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    content warnings: discussion of mental health, depiction of a panic attack, depiction of invasive medical procedure, depiction of violence (generally non-graphic), use of hate speech, depiction of a hate crime

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    33,828
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    634
    Kudos:
    7,776
    Bookmarks:
    2,390
    Hits:
    143,951

    02 Jan 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    That girl at the club meant nothing. Shane drunk-texting Ilya at 2 AM means everything.

    or

    A bandaid for my brain following the Club Scene in episode four.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    35,729
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Collections:
    7
    Comments:
    934
    Kudos:
    12,315
    Bookmarks:
    2,311
    Hits:
    164,668

    27 Dec 2025

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    The locks on Ilya’s car clicked, and he waited for Shane to look up at him. “Get in,” he ground out between clenched teeth.

    Shane was hardwired to follow Ilya’s every command. It was coded into his genetics, he thought, because the deep pull in the pit of his stomach to follow the accented order couldn’t be normal. He hated that part of him that was so willing, so ready to submit. Maybe it could be explained away by some sort of psychological terminology he was unfamiliar with, a desire to relinquish control, to relax and let someone else take the wheel for once in his rigid life.

    And maybe it was just Ilya.

    In Episode 4, Shane leaves the nightclub with Rose. In the book, he leaves alone.

    But what if he had left with Ilya instead?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,745
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    159
    Kudos:
    5,142
    Bookmarks:
    1,055
    Hits:
    55,439

    26 Dec 2025

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Regulus has always known he's destined to drown. He feels it deep in his chest, past his rib cage, nestled somewhere behind his organs. He feels it in his arm when his mother squeezes it a little harder than a mother should. He felt it, the water rising in his throat, when his brother slipped out the window and into the night. He often wonders if it'd be easier to just let himself sink.

    He often wonders if he has a choice.

    Regulus gets sent back to school with a mission from the Dark Lord himself— find the “beast in the chamber” and claim its fangs without killing it. But when a certain curly-haired bespectacled boy asks for a rather large favor, everything suddenly gets a lot more complicated.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    442,845
    Chapters:
    70/70
    Comments:
    2,906
    Kudos:
    6,305
    Bookmarks:
    2,165
    Hits:
    312,400

    13 Nov 2025

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    A small interaction between Regulus and Euphemia before his fifth year at Hogwarts alters the trajectory of his life. Asked to watch out for Regulus, James finds himself readily falling for him as they spend more time together. It can never be that simple though- the Black's expectations and dysfunction grasp onto the younger boy relentlessly, and the raging war outside the doors of Hogwarts moves closer to them every day.

    Dealing with the hardships and traumas of their reality, the question remains: how far are they willing to go for one another?

    Following the boys from their final years of Hogwarts into their roles during the First Wizarding War, this is a long fic exploring the depths of their devotion. It deals with sensitive topics so please be mindful of the tags; there is a comprehensive note at the start of the fic detailing warnings. Eventual happily ever after (it's a long ride).

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    491,310
    Chapters:
    88/88
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    2,481
    Kudos:
    3,318
    Bookmarks:
    1,304
    Hits:
    213,770

    13 Aug 2025