Work Text:
They will tell you it is wrong
That you deserve this isolation
Touch starved and stealing glances
Love surviving on a false medicine
Time will pass, quick and slow
Spent between strangers and stage lights
Years searching for connection that isn’t quite there
Only waking when he calls for you
Train yourself for years to to be mindlessly loud
Speak words that only make sense in your head
Once they laugh you can breathe
Continue to live with that lie in your chest
They cannot learn your secret
The truth that bleeds behind your teeth
Keep quiet your token
Lest he learn what he is
You will lose him twice.
The first time will be swift and hopeful
He will smile and hold you tight before he goes
Both of you choosing to ignore the others red cheeks
The second will be fast and unfair
A reconciliation come twenty-seven years too late
You will hold him tight and desperate
You will not tell him
He will die without knowing.
Without knowing the meaning of a distant, blushing memory
Without knowing the extent of your twenty-seven year ache.
Without knowing how your hands would fit tight together
He dies thinking of missed opportunities and stolen touches
You will leave him there
Unwillingly or otherwise
A scream on your lips and blood on his chest
Your secret token locked away once more
Stare into crowds of empty faces
Searching for a connection that isn’t quite there
Searching for red sweaters and desperate eyes
Wishing he was there with you
Wishing he had been just a bit less brave
Wishing for a world where he didn’t have to be
For him to smile at you again
For him to laugh loudly
Wishing his laughter hadn’t expired.